Even though I am tired, even though I don't want to do anything but sleep, I still can't sleep.
I looked behind my eyelids for a long time. No one speaks. Not Bruce Denman. Not Akio Toyoda. I just wanted to open my eyes and see what they were doing, but I didn't. After a while, I just listened to everyone's breathing and the silent whirring of the machine, without the slightest feeling of falling asleep. I started counting down from one hundred, hoping it would make me fall asleep. It definitely worked. For a while, I was thinking thirty-three or thirty-two, and then I found myself in a cold and dark room.
This room is big and empty, like an empty warehouse. Every step I take is echoing, and the weather is very cold. If I can see anything, I am sure I can see my breath, but what I see is pitch black.
Somewhere in front of me, I heard some sounds. It sounds like the sound of an animal being killed.
I slowly stretched out my arms and walked towards the sound. The closer I get, the more it sounds like a person, and I can hear someone crying. I continued to move towards the sound. In the dark, I managed to stick my head into something like cement.
I shook my body backward and grabbed my forehead. I blinked my eyes and drove the stars away. I stretched out my hands and fumbled upward for the brain that I had just smashed, and it felt like the ceiling was leaning downward. I followed my hand and started to move forward, this time at a slower speed. The ceiling continued to fall until I squatted down and walked and there was no echo anymore.
I began to feel claustrophobic.
The cry is getting louder and louder. Although every nerve in my body is pulsing with electricity, and even though I really want to turn around deep in my heart, I continue to move forward.
After a while, with my hands and knees, just as I thought that the sloping ceiling was about to squeeze me out of existence, the ceiling began to rise.
The crying stopped, but I could hear someone breathing.
"Who is there?" a voice shouted. "Who is there?"
I was stunned.
"Damn it," said the voice. "Answer me. I can hear you. I know you are there."
"Who are you?" I said. I tried to make my voice smooth and confident, without trembling and fear. I failed.
"Is it you, Abby?"
"Yes," I said, almost inaudible. My heart is beating wildly. I got closer. I began to recognize a person lying on a stainless steel table. He was covered with a white cloth on his chest. I got closer, and quickly saw what he looked like. "Book?"
"Yes, it's me," he said. "I have something wrong."
I put my hand on his arm. The weather is cold.
"I think something happened to me," he said.
The fear in my stomach disappeared, and the darkness disappeared a bit. I can see Ben more clearly than before.
He looked at me, searching my eyes. His beautiful blue eyes are so familiar to me, as familiar or more familiar than my own eyes. I swam in those eyes and drowned.
"I came to see you. This is the last thing I remember."
"You had a motorcycle accident," I said. "Just near Salem"
He took a deep breath, slowly and trembling.
"Oh," he said.
He looked away, then looked around.
"Where am I?" he said. "Am I dead?"
"No," I said. "You are in a hospital in Salem, Oregon. You are in a coma."
I let him digest for a while. I stroked his arm to relieve him. The stainless steel table became a hospital bed, and several machines were clearly visible around him. I can recognize an intravenous injection device and a rope leading to his wrist. Other wires from other machines are also connected to his arms and chest.
"I feel something is wrong," he said.
"It may be a car accident," I said.
"No," he said. "Apart from the accident, there are other problems. Something is wrong, Abby. Where is this place?" he said.
"I'm dreaming, I think." I said.
"I heard the sound," he said. "can you hear me?"
I tried to listen, struggling to hear what he heard, but I heard nothing. I shook my head and said no.
"I heard nothing," I said.
"I think it's a nurse," he said. "They're talking about me, but I don't hear clearly. Didn't you hear?"
"No," I said.
"I heard Bonnie's voice just now. She was talking to me," he said. "Is she in the hospital? Come with me?"
"Yes," I said. "I saw her yesterday."
"Is she okay?" he said.
"She is worried about you."
"You go to the hospital to see me, Abby?" He said, his eyes flashed and he smiled slightly. He put the other arm on his body, on my hand, my hand is still on his arm. "You came to see me?"
"Of course," I said. "Of course I went to see you."
"I didn't hear what you said," he said.
"I was there most of the morning until Bonnie showed up. Then I left."
"Thank you," he said, unexpectedly, he raised my hand and pressed it to the sides of his cheek. "This is too important to me. You will never know." His voice fell low and swallowed hard. "I have trouble breathing."
"Oh, Ben," I said.
"I don't want to die," he said, closing his eyes. ""But at least if I were to die now, I would know that you came to see me. I have to know this when I die. "
"You won't die," I said. The thought of him dying made my heart break. My throat is choking, I want to swallow it. "Why are you coming up to see me?"
"Oh—"He still held my hand. He squeezed it tighter and moved it to a more comfortable position on his chest. "Damn it. How could I forget? There is a problem between us. I don't know what that is. I don't know. I started to have some very strange dreams-or some vignettes-I don't know. I am this person. Another man. Not me. You are there, but you are a girl, a teenage girl. I don’t know. I think I must find you. I can’t explain."
"You don't need to explain," I said.
"Oh, God!" Ben screamed. He arched his back and clung to the railing beside the bed. "It hurts me so much!"
He closed his eyes tightly, tears streaming down his cheeks. His body was taut from the pain. He rolled over and curled up into a ball. His breathing was rapid and heavy. He began to sweat profusely.
He turned his back to me. I put my hand on his shoulder.
He did not answer. He lay nervously, curled up tightly. Then he sighed, his body relaxed. He turned his body to his back and relaxed his nervous nerves. His eyes were closed, and at a terrible, terrible moment, I thought he was dead.
The hospital ward, equipment and bed were gone, Ben was lying on a stainless steel table again. The darkness pressed on us until it was pitch black.
I leaned my head on his cold chest to see if he was still breathing, but I couldn't tell.
"Ben!" I shouted. "Book!"
I shook him gently first, then ignored him, shaking harder and harder.
"Please, please, please, this, this, this."
My heart was beating so hard, I thought it was going to explode.
what do I do? God, what should I do
As I saw on any silly TV show about emergency rooms, I clenched my hands and slapped him on the chest with all my strength. His body was jumping around like jelly on the table. I raised my hands above my head and gave another pound. When I put my hands down with all my strength, his body arched and he screamed. My hands touched his chest, and a different energy passed through my body, throwing me into the darkness. It's as if he is electric and I am electric.
I landed on my back and hit the back of my head. I climbed to my knees, then stood up, ran back to Ben, stumbling along the way.
Around him stood some figures, half-formed ghosts, blinking from time to time, appearing and disappearing. A man in a surgical gown is holding the defibrillator beat. Another figure is standing on Ben's head, and another figure is standing next to the man holding the shock board.
"Safe," said the man with the shock board. His voice sounded faint and distant.
He put the oar on Ben's chest.
Ben screamed and arched his back again.
The three figures disappeared staggeringly.
Ben and I are alone again.
I hesitated for a while, then walked over and looked down at him. I am afraid of what I might see.
His eyes are open. He blinked and stared at the middle shot in the distance.
He turned his head and looked at me. I can see that he is trying to focus on my face, but it is difficult.
When people talk about flooding and relief, I never knew what they meant until that moment. Yes, I used to be relieved before, but this feeling—from my toes has been full of cold, painless, infinite, stable peace.
"Thank God," I said.
I climbed to the table and cried and cried in my arms. He is so cold, so quiet, but I can feel him leaning on my breath.
"Abby, is that you?" he said.
I cried harder.
"Where am I?"
"You are in the hospital." I said.
"Something is wrong," he said.
"Yes," I said. "Something is wrong."
"Wake her up." I can hear Schof in the distance. His voice bounced back, beating, as if walking towards me through a long, empty corridor.
"Wake her up!" Toyoda said again. He asked.
Another voice, from Bruce Deman, "I can't do it. I can't wake her up."
"Did you give her anything?" Toyoda said.
"what?"
"Drugs? Will it cause sleep problems? What did you give her, Danman?"
"Nothing," Bruce said. "calm down."
I heard Mingfu's voice coming towards me. It doesn't sound far away anymore, it sounds right by my side. Just behind me. This made my back feel cold, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.
"Abby, did you hear it?" Qiufu's voice flowed from my shoulder into my ear like water. It tickles.
When I look back, I'm still curled up around Ben, like a question mark. He fell asleep again, his chest moving up and down slowly and rhythmically.
"Remember my words and follow them," he said. (To be continued) (End of this chapter)