"I dare not attend Leng Yi’s funeral, and I dare not face Leng Yi’s eyes. Although they are just portraits, I can imagine what Leng Yi will say to me. He will definitely say that I am his murderer. I gave his life. What’s worse, Leng Yi’s death irritated two people, one was my father, who died of a cerebral hemorrhage with anger; the other was Jing Lan, she was crazy, no, to be precise, She was a little abnormal after the miscarriage. When Leng Yi died, she was completely mad. I think I really became a sinner. In the final analysis, the deaths of so many people are due to me, an illegitimate child who shouldn't exist in the world."
"I came back to the Leng family after receiving the news of my father's death, and took over all of the Leng family's business. Jing Lan's illness got worse and worse. For a while, she regarded me as Leng Yi, crying for forgiveness, and then recognized me as Leng Yan. , Holding me to marry me. Zeng Ma and I sent her to a mental hospital and asked the best doctor to treat her."
"But her condition in the hospital was even worse. She shouted every day to go home. She was in a manic state all day long. In the ward, she hit the wall or even the glass window with her head. She changed the ward and the walls were fully cushioned. She couldn't hurt herself, so she pulled her hair with her hands and scratched herself with her nails. She was still covered in injuries. She could only rely on tranquilizers to control her emotions, but such long-term use of tranquilizers was No, in the end, the doctor suggested that we take it home. Maybe the warmth of the family will help her condition."
"So, Zeng Ma and I took her back to Leng's house. The doctor came to check her every day. After a period of time, her condition gradually improved. Although she was still in a trance, she was at least not so manic. When I came home, I looked at me and smiled dimly, always asking me when to get married."
"Zeng Ma felt embarrassed and proposed to bring Jinglan back to the country. I did feel a headache every day facing Jinglan, so she didn't stop her. The family of three left that day. After a while, I remembered that I should ask Jing In Lan’s situation, he called and went to the countryside, but their nephew in the countryside picked up. He said that Jing Lan had committed suicide long ago and had come to the city hospital."
"I'm very surprised that since they came back, why didn't they look for me, so they sent someone to find out which hospital they were in, and bought flowers to see Jinglan. I think it should be a visit even if ordinary friends are sick, not to mention it. The daughter of Zeng's mother, who treated me as her own, is also the girlfriend of my brother."
"When I found them, they were surprised, but Jing Lan still recognized me, so she rushed over to hold me and cry when she saw me. I asked Zeng's mother why she didn't look for me when she came back. They stayed in Leng's house for the rest of their lives. Like the relatives of Leng’s family, Zeng’s mother said, Jing Lan looks like this, she doesn’t want to cause me any more trouble.
"I am very guilty. It is entirely my responsibility for Jinglan to be like this. I want them to rest assured that I will treat Jinglan like my sister, and ask them not to be polite to me, and ask them to move back to Leng's house, but Zeng's mother lives and lives. I didn't agree. In the end, I had no choice but to arrange a house for them outside."
"One day, it was the Mid-Autumn Festival, and I was very indifferent to the festival, because anyway, it was a person. Zeng's mother called me to eat together. I thought about it. I haven't been to see them for a long time. I agreed. After get off work that night, I bought some gifts before going to Zeng's mother's house. It was already dark. Suddenly, on the road, I found Jing Lan with disheveled hair and her clothes shrunk around the corner in a mess."
"I quickly got out of the car. Before I walked to her side, there was a tramp who got out of the large trash can next to him and moved her hands to Jinglan. I rushed forward and taught him a lesson, that tramp. When I left, I left a word, what's so great, a female lunatic is already a lousy product, just played by someone else!"
"I was taken aback, and quickly asked him what's going on. It turns out that Jinglan had been lingering here just now, saying'Leng Yan, Leng Yan's.' Several little rascals came over and saw her delirious, so I told her to take her. Go to Leng Yan, who said that she is Leng Yan, give Jing Lan... No wonder her clothes are all ripped apart. I am very sad, holding Jing Lan back to Zeng's mother's house, Jing Lan is still in a trance, suddenly Seeing me momentarily, asked blankly,'Who are you?'"
"I said I was Leng Yan. She didn't believe it. She said I lied to her, saying that I had just promised to marry her, kissed her just now, and kissed her... but left her and left. Facing her like this, I I really don’t know what to do. This Mid-Autumn Festival reunion dinner was really terrible!"
"What's worse is still to come. Zeng's mother suddenly fell ill, and she was very sick. But Jinglan's father, he has a prosthetic foot, and he can't take care of himself. How to take care of Jinglan? She started to run wild outside, sometimes suddenly appeared in the middle of the road, scaring the passing drivers to death. She laughed and cried in the middle of the road, no one married her, no one wanted her, Leng Yan was a bad person. Sometimes the police came. To drive her away, she hugged the policeman and asked the policeman to marry her and go home..."
Leng Yan had never said so much. The only one who was forced to listen to him was the one who was gradually attracted. He was full of emotions, "So, you married her?" The only one asked coldly.
Leng Yan took a deep breath, "Before you, the only woman that touched me was Tingzi. After Tingzi left, I thought my heart was dead, and I don’t think I will have a romantic life again in my life. Therefore, when Zeng’s mother was seriously ill, I thought for a long time, who will take care of Tingzi after Zeng’s mother a hundred years? Actually, I have always been a lonely person, and I have a certain understanding of mental patients. Environmental therapy is sometimes more effective than medicine. It still works. Since I don’t plan to love another person or marry again, I might as well marry Jinglan. At least I can make her live in Leng’s house as justified. There are many servants who take care of her, whether it’s for atonement or gratitude, what? all good."
"So, I married her, just signed a letter and swore an oath in front of the priest. There was no guest. No one in the world, except Leng's own people, knew that I was married, including Xiao and the others. So, I had a form. After getting married, I still kept my old habits. I rarely go home and visit them once a week at most. I have never touched Jinglan, but Jinglan seems to be very happy and feels much better. , I’m still sober sometimes, I think it’s worth it. This kind of life lasted a long time."
(End of this chapter)