After a serious enough confession, Yan Shuo believed that he had shown 120% sincerity, whether Shen Ze would listen or not, he had already said all he had to say, and the matter would stop here.
Unexpectedly, Shen Ze didn't respond after listening for a long time, with an unusually silent expression.
—Why, you also think I'm right
Yan Shuo was a little hypoxic, the room was suffocating, he couldn't stand the atmosphere, he smiled awkwardly and pushed Shen Ze away, got out of bed, got dressed and went out.
He slipped away quickly, not knowing how Shen Ze would react.
But after going out, I belatedly remembered that this is the villa of the program group, and the downstairs is not a good place to relax.
Yan Shuo had no choice but to say hello to the staff in the living room who were still tidying up the venue, sat down in a corner that was out of the way, and started playing with his mobile phone.
He remembered that he hadn’t posted on Weibo for a long time—it wasn’t an official blog requiring business to advertise, but a benefit he gave to fans, such as posting a set of Jiugongge selfies.
Immediately, Yan Shuo turned on the front camera, straightened the collar of his white shirt, took eight pictures with the wall as the background, and added a "blow kiss" emoji in the middle.
After it was sent out, the comments skyrocketed.
Yan Shuo watched the screen full of fancy words to praise himself, and the fans spun and jumped, his mood was also infected, and he slowly let out the pent-up air in his heart.
Aside from some unhappy things, most of the time, Yan Shuo thinks being an idol is good, he can easily bring happiness to others, and seeing that everyone likes him, he himself can easily forget his troubles and become happy.
If only the relationship between people was so simple, you like me, I like you, we are both happy.
Yan Shuo continued to scroll through the comments, scrolling down in reverse chronological order, and saw that some fans kindly told him to go to bed early and not get too tired, and some fans typed a long paragraph, reassuring him not to be affected by the recent Internet turmoil, and to be himself It's fine.
Yan Shuo was quite touched at first, but when he saw that she added "Mom will always love you, my sweet boy" at the end, he couldn't laugh or cry.
Just like that, Yan Shuo took the time to stay downstairs for several hours, thinking that Shen Ze should have fallen asleep before going back.
He went upstairs lightly and opened the door.
Sure enough, the lights were turned off, and the room was pitch black.
He walked to the bed in the dark, picked up the pajamas at the head of the bed and changed, went to bed holding his breath, lay down, and covered the quilt.
At this moment, there was a sudden cold voice from the side: "Are you back?"
"..."
Yan Shuo was almost startled, and paused, "Well, you haven't slept yet? It's so late."
"It's good to be back, I have a few words to say to you." Shen turned on the light, and the light poured down. Yan Shuo found that he was not lying under the quilt, but leaning against the head of the bed with his clothes on. He didn't change his outfit when he left just now, and it seemed that he had kept it like this all night, and he didn't take a shower.
"What are you talking about? I'm sleepy, let's talk about it tomorrow." Yan Shuo turned his back, showing a gesture of decline.
Shen Ze said, "Is it okay to say it now? It will take five minutes of your time, at most five minutes."
Yan Shuo: "..."
Are you negotiating with me? What the hell.
Yan Shuo didn't say a word, Shen Ze said: "I've thought about what you said just now, I didn't expect you to think so much, I thought you...we were relaxed during this period of getting along, just like me."
"..."
Relax? Yan Shuo nodded inwardly. Being ambiguous is indeed very relaxing. After all, as long as you don’t say anything, you have no responsibility, and there is no pressure from body to spirit. It is really fun.
But this is the way high-end players play, it suits Li Jin, not him.
He is too easy to be true.
Yan Shuo pulled the quilt a little tighter, while Ting Shen continued: "Am I not very good-natured?"
"No, it's fine." Yan Shuo replied politely.
Shen obviously knew that his answer was insincere, so he didn't ask too much. But it was still so difficult for a person who had always been difficult to communicate to take the initiative to confess, so that Shen Ze paused before saying a few words.
There was a long pause, Yan Shuo thought he had finished what he was going to say.
What is it called? There are a lot of fallacies and heresies, but only two or three sentences of sincerity.
Yan Shuo finds it boring, the rabbit doesn't even eat grass by the side of the nest, and Shen doesn't consider him a friend at all, otherwise if you want to enjoy ambiguity, you should go to outsiders to enjoy it, right
Shen Ze didn't know what he was thinking, so he said to himself: "My personality is really bad, I know it. Like Li Jin, he can get along with anyone as long as he wants to. Xiao Qi has a simple mind. Everyone is enthusiastic, everyone likes him, but I usually don’t care about people, I only like to talk to people I want to get close to, but I can’t say anything nice, so that people don’t like me, or even resent me—are you very angry now? Resent me?"
"..."
Oh, so you know. Yan Shuo frowned slightly, but didn't hear what he wanted to say.
Shen Ze's voice was very soft, and suddenly said: "I used to raise a puppy."
Yan Shuo: "..."
What link is this
Shen Ze said: "When I was very young, I raised a little golden retriever. My mother passed away very early. At that time, there was only a puppy to play with me besides the nanny. I liked it very much, but it later fell ill and died. I After crying for a few days, my dad found me a new one, the same breed, the same size, and a similar look. He thought it could comfort me, but in my opinion, it’s gone, it’s gone, What I like is not the golden retriever, but the little dog who has been with me."
"... What do you want to say?" Yan Shuo turned around.
Shen said: "The love I have had for it will not be transferred to another dog. Any liking is produced at a specific time, specific conditions, and specific emotions. As long as that second passes, it will never be copied, let alone Irreplaceable, even if they are of the same type.… Of course it is the same for people, but people are different from dogs, I like a dog, no matter how old it is, what occupation it has, how much education it has, whether it is male or female , whether it is beautiful or ugly, is it right for me, will I be opposed by other people when I bring it home. I don’t have to worry about whether it will pick on my family background, my gender, my temper, my ability , will it not like me, it won't... As long as I like it, I can."
Shen Ze also said: "But it's too difficult to like someone. I was restricted in various frameworks, subtly brainwashed by the world for many years, gender, personality, age, family... It seems that only those who meet certain conditions Talents can rest assured to like, people who do not meet the requirements, I don't even believe that I am tempted by him, it will take a long time to digest and verify repeatedly... and I am afraid that he doesn't like me, he has no feelings for me, I It's wishful thinking."
"you-"
Yan Shuo opened his mouth, not knowing what to say.
He had always hoped that Shen Ze would be honest, but when Shen Ze suddenly confessed, he was a little flustered, and his whole heart was suspended.
Shen said: "I'm not sure if I've become gay, but I'm sure, I like you very much. I want to stay with you, hug you, kiss you, sleep with you... I did it directly and selfishly found a safe place for myself, but I kept ignoring your feelings and never considered your mood, right, Yan Shuo?"
Yan Shuo turned around slightly, looked up at Shen Ze from the pillow.
Shen said "I'm sorry".
He also said: "I am not a considerate person, and I am not very good at caring for others, but I can try to change it. As long as I like you, I will always only like you alone, you—"
"Wait, what did you say?" Yan Shuo was a little dazed, suspecting something was wrong with his ears and eyes, "Say it again?"
"I said, I like you, I want to be responsible to you, would you like me to be responsible to you?"
"..."
Shen Ze looked down at him, his gaze was the same as the light above his head, so bright that when people looked at each other, their eyes were dazzled, and they couldn't see anything clearly at once.
Shen Ze asked again: "Are you willing?"