Memoirs of a Female Prisoner

Chapter 16

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/Fifteen/Yangtze River Chinese Network

On July 18, 1998, a very hot and sunny day, she finally asked for leave and went home. She tossed and turned the car a few times along the way she came. When she got home, it was already afternoon and there was no one at home. Quietly, a rusty iron lock locks the two equally rusted iron gates. The low, gloomy and dilapidated little earthen house inside the gate is her home. As the saying goes: gold nest and silver nest are not as good as our earth Although this earthen nest made her feel inferior when she was studying, she dared not take her classmates home, and she kept silent when the classmates talked about her hometown, for fear of revealing the secret that she came from this dilapidated hut, but when she returned to In this earthen nest, she still felt unprecedented kindness and relaxation. There was her mother here, and there was a loved one who would never dislike her no matter what she did.

She stood in front of the iron gate for a while, looking around for neighbors, and wanted to ask her parents where they worked in the field, but when she turned around, there was no one, and the whole village was quiet and empty, and people were all on the ground. busy here. This is the time when farmers in the north harvest wheat, and it is also the rainy season with heavy rain and hail. Busy farmers are scrambling to compete with the gods for food.

I remember that before going to college, it was already summer vacation, and the three of them happened to help their parents harvest wheat. After going to college, she never went home during the holidays. She worked everywhere in the provincial capital to earn tuition and living expenses for the coming year. She has moved bricks on construction sites, served dishes in restaurants, washed dishes, posted small advertisements on the street, worked as a part-time worker, done a lot of work, endured a lot of hardships, and endured a lot of stares. She has never I have complained, because there is a belief that supports her, that is, the relatives in the family, those relatives who need her, and she will work hard to change their lives. Yes, she firmly believes that as long as she works hard, all this will change.

Counting it, I have not harvested wheat for several years. At that time, there were no harvesters in their village, and the wheat was mainly harvested by hand. This is a very hard work. Imagine that in the hottest season, the heat on the ground rises Fumigation, scorching sun above the head, sweating profusely, bending over the farmers who keep cutting wheat, what kind of feeling is that? She started helping her parents cut wheat at the age of twelve, and learned how to do it at the age of nine. When I was seven or eight years old, I followed my mother to the fields to weed and kill pigweeds. Because my mother was suffering from illness all the year round, my father almost took care of all the work outside the house. As the eldest of the family, she was very young She is sensible and knows how to love her parents. People in the village praise her for being sensible and willing to endure hardships. The children of the so-called poor families should be in charge of the family early.

The most painful thing for her in harvesting wheat is not the hard work and tiredness, but the little bugs crawling on the straw, those wriggling and weak little lives are actually the things in her life that she fears the most. Worm, I remember when she was in elementary school, she was walking on the road alone, and while walking, she casually grabbed a piece of grass, rubbed it in her hand, and suddenly felt a soft little thing that seemed to be moving. She raised her hand and saw a panicked little caterpillar running away desperately from her hand. She screamed in fright, threw away the thing in her hand, jumped back, and stood there for a while, suddenly remembered Hurry up and go to school. The fear that the little caterpillar brought her was no less than the fear of catching a red snake. The thrilling scene is still fresh in her memory, but as a child of a poor farmer, she has no right to be afraid of a bug, and there are everywhere in the wheat field. It’s bugs. There are many colorful bugs crawling on the straw. They stimulate her nerves in groups and challenge her endurance and self-control. Open them, press the fear deeply in the bottom of my heart, stare at the straw, and cut the wheat vigorously. When a large piece of wheat is cut down, she has a kind of hopeful and relieved joy. After cutting a ridge, she stands on the ground and stretches her sore waist, and then cuts another ridge. She dare not sit on the ground to rest, because As soon as she sat down, she didn't want to stand up again, and she was afraid of bugs crawling on her body, and when she saw her mother dragging one leg and kneeling on the ground with difficulty, she really wanted to cut all the wheat with all her strength.

Turning around in the village, she walked towards her own largest piece of land that was most suitable for growing wheat. As she expected, they were all harvesting wheat in that field, separated by a large piece of lush corn On the ground, I heard voices in the distance, my younger brother was blaming my mother, go home and have a rest, or you won’t be able to sleep at night due to the pain in your legs. Shouting "Mom!", the younger brother said pleasantly, "Mom, my sister is back!" As he said this, he ran towards her, and the mother slowly stood up with the sickle supporting her body, while the father was still standing up without saying a word. I cut the wheat on the ground, and I didn't see my mother for half a year. She lost a lot of weight, and there were many new wrinkles on her face, hidden in the mud mixed with sweat. There was a layer of mud, and the thin body holding the sickle was trembling on the floor. She used to help her mother to sit in the shade of the tree on the ground. Tears of joy filled his eyes.

";Sister, my mother has been saying that you are coming back every day these days. Just now, she said that you are coming back. I didn't expect to say that Cao Cao will be here!"

"Sister, you're back, and there's another General Who Cleaves Wheat," the younger brother chatted excitedly around her. "Second sister won't come back this year, she's gone to work."

My younger sister was admitted to university in the year she graduated, and now she is walking the same path she walked. My younger brother will be going to high school next year, and if he goes to high school to live in the county town, he will have to pay another fee.

Mother was silent, sitting with her head bowed wearily.

A group of big gray mosquitoes came around, whistling and hovering above their heads, scrambling to bite their blood. The mother waved with her hand, and the younger brother slapped them non-stop.

"Bing'er, is it okay to work there?"; Mother said lovingly stroking her hair.

"It's okay, it's fine, and the work is very leisurely." She didn't want her mother to worry about it, so she simply prevaricated.

"Why don't you go home? Mosquitoes are biting here...at this moment every day, the mosquitoes are going to eat people alive. You must be very hungry after walking all day." Mother asked, waving the mosquitoes away.

"" Mosquitoes have to eat and sleep before dark! ", the younger brother joked. My mother smiled and said, "You are the one who likes to tell jokes, and you still have the strength to laugh when you are tired. Let's go home together." "

The mother picked up the sickle and was about to stand up while supporting the sickle, so she quickly helped her to stand up. The mother gritted her teeth in pain, put one hand on her waist, and sighed, "Hey! This unlucky person can't sit down. Once he sits down, his waist hurts so much that he can't stand up."

The younger brother took the sickle to cut the wheat again, waved his hands and said, "Go back, I will go back with my dad, sister, let's cook something delicious."

"At this time of year, there is nothing delicious to eat, and there are no vegetables, just two yam (potato) bumps with sprouts," the mother murmured in a low voice.

"Hasn't any vegetable seller come these days?" she asked.

"I don't know if they have come. We don't have time to buy vegetables. We leave the field early every morning. When the vegetable sellers come, we will go out early. Besides, the new grain has not come down yet, and the old grain is all gone." If you sell it, what can you exchange for vegetables?" The mother sighed and stopped talking. She helped her mother to walk silently with a solemn face. She felt very heavy and sad. She remembered that when she was young, when the wheat was harvested, her mother always baked a lot of white pancakes. Take a big pot of water, sometimes don’t go home at noon, when you’re tired, sit in the shade of a tree on the ground, eat a piece of cake, fill your stomach with water, and then lie down in the shade and sleep for a while, avoiding the hottest day at noon Sunshine, rest for an hour and get up to cut the wheat again. At times like this, she only accompanied her father once in a while, but in her memory, if there were no abnormalities, her father almost never rested at home at noon. I went home to have breakfast after eight o'clock, and then hurried out of the field, and came back when it was too dark to see.

They are not the only ones like this. Almost all the farmers who cultivate a lot of land wear stars and moons like this, leaving early and returning late.

She helped her mother and walked home slowly. Along the way, her mother told her that her father almost got into a fight with Wang Ermazi. Bullying honest people. My mother said, "Wang Ermazi won't let your father water the land this year. Your father argued with him. Wang Ermazi said that our family owes water bills, and we haven't paid last year's water bills. This year we can't make up for the water bills owed last year, so we can't water the land." Last year, Wang Ermazi obviously came to collect the water fee for watering our land, insisting that we didn't pay it, hey! Your father was confused, he didn't pay attention to Wang Ermazi, he forgot to ask Wang Ermazi to write down the receipt, the two of them were arguing and almost got into a fight, and then went to Village Chief Hu to testify, hey, what's the use of looking for Village Chief Hu ? Isn't Wang Ermazi relying on Village Chief Hu's influence? Last year, the two of them came to collect the fee. Now, the two insisted that we didn't pay the water bill, and your father couldn't show the handle, so he abruptly took out more than 300 yuan. Why can't they get the money? Forcing you and your father to write down the IOU, saying that the new food will come to cover the debt, hey! We are always at a disadvantage. Your father was so angry that he suffered from asthma once, hey! My mother kept sighing, hey, that year when I paid the apportionment, I suffered such a loss, why don't you have a long memory.

She was filled with righteous indignation and gritted her teeth angrily, but what else could she do to Wang Ermazi other than being angry? She comforted her mother, she learned a lot from a fall, and it was like paying the tuition fee once.

When she came home, she saw that the house was in a mess, and her mother didn't have time to clean it up. There was dirt everywhere, dry firewood left over from cooking was pushed around on the ground, and the low and dark earthen house smelled musty. She inadvertently contacted the town government. Comparing the leisurely and clean life, the feeling of disgust and escape from rural life once again filled her heart. She suddenly felt that she was lucky compared to those childhood friends who were still in the countryside. A classmate who has not been assigned yet and is looking for a job everywhere, she is lucky, yes, she is lucky, when she thinks like this, she feels a little pity for them and a little bit of her own superiority. She felt more satisfied with her situation, but suddenly she was surprised by her change of thought, she was terrified by the sudden change of her thoughts, yes, she was surprised by how It suddenly became so vulgar, "Maybe one day I will go farther and fly higher. When I look down on this land, will I be left with complacent luck and a sense of superiority? No, I Don’t degenerate into this, I will never forget my hardworking and simple parents, how they raised us so hard”, she shouted in her heart, defending against her increasingly vulgar self, yes, she used to be Working hard with lofty ambitions, she worked hard to enter the university and became the "Pride of Heaven". She is proud and arrogant. She looks down on those ignorant people. She wants to change everything here, and she wants them to live like human beings. Similarly, she is proud of her lofty ideals, but now, the cruel reality makes her realize how absurd and naive her thoughts were when she was ignorant of the world. The poverty of the family can't even do anything to the village cadres who bully her family. Yes, she is so humble and weak. Seeing her parents working day and night, sighing for poverty, but she was so proud to mention her in front of others, she was so ashamed that she could only work hard, and she was so tired that she fell apart until she was exhausted.