She sat down on the sofa, with a serious face, and said calmly, "I want to talk to you about something."
He sat cross-legged on the bed, raised his head that was listlessly drooping, looked at her in surprise, and said, "What happened? Why are you so serious all of a sudden?"
"It's not that something happened to me, it should be said that something happened to you?" She said, staring into his eyes.
"What's wrong with me?" he laughed.
"What's the matter with you being so preoccupied every day? Why don't you tell me something, who am I in your heart?" She had kept these words in her heart for a long time, but when she said them suddenly today, she seemed to feel a lot easier. Her excited voice trembled a little.
He lowered his head and remained silent for a few seconds, then raised his head, with a stern face, and said sullenly: "Stop thinking about it, can't you feel what kind of position you are in my heart, can't you see it? Tell you?"
"Am I annoying you, am I not supposed to ask you these questions?"
"Why do you always do this? You clearly know that I love you, why do you still say that? How do you want me to prove it to you?"
She smiled bitterly coldly, "I don't need your proof. I said that what I need is a confidant, just a confidant. But you hide your heart so tightly, how do I know what you're thinking?"
"I don't want to hide anything from you. In fact, I'm disgusted that the leaders made fun of me and Huang Juan, but I can't argue with it."
"Is it just that simple?"
"What else do you think? I always think that you are not a jealous woman. I always think that you are very confident. What's the matter with you today? You are so entangled for a joke."
Haha, she sneered, and said: "Actually, I have always been a jealous woman, and I am not as confident as you think, but you have misjudged me before, you should get to know me again, well, since you don't want to tell To be honest, I will not force you to do anything difficult."
"I have nothing to do. If I have anything, it is because of you. The only person in this world who can control my emotions is you." He said in a low and slightly sentimental tone.
"Then it's me who makes you worry, is it that I burden you and make you unhappy? If so, then I'll leave you." She stood up and left.
"Don't go, come here, please," he begged, and then opened his arms and waited for her to fall into his arms. She stood at the door and looked at him. He looked sad and frightened, as if she was afraid of her leaving. She thought, He has always been very confident and happy, he has never been so depressed, what is wrong with him, she likes his confident look, she likes to see him smile, his sad look makes her heart ache, her heart immediately surges Feeling pity, she threw herself into his arms, he hugged her tightly, his face pressed against her chest, his arms wrapped around her waist like a rope.
Her face was buried in his hair, and she murmured: "How can I make you unhappy, tell me quickly, or I won't feel at ease."
"It's not your reason, it's me, it's my own reason, I don't know why, every time I drink alcohol, I have a strong sense of inexplicable sadness, sometimes, I think, if I struggle all my life, I will still be a A mediocre clerk can't give you anything. At that time, would you complain, would you regret your choice today, would you feel that you were cheated? I want to protect you, I want to give you The best life, I don’t want you to worry about money anymore, but my strength is very limited, and I work hard every day just to please the leader. If the leader approves, it is valuable. Recognition does not necessarily mean that there is hope for promotion, we are busy here and there just to please others, do you think we are living a very sad life?"
"Isn't the leader appreciating you very much now, at least someone appreciates you, right, and the promotion can only wait for the opportunity, we still have a job, we will never starve to death, I am not a vain person, I eat I have endured hardships, kept poverty, and endured loneliness. I have never asked you to give me any kind of life. I am a person who is easily satisfied. As long as I have you by my side, it is enough."
He didn't make a sound, his face was still pressed against her chest, his lips were so hot that her chest was hot, she was a little out of breath when he hugged her, she struggled, he let go, looked up at her, and smiled wryly With a sound, he said angrily: "Does the leader appreciate me? Does he really appreciate me? I resent him for forcing me and Huang Juan together."
"What's the matter? He's just joking. I don't care anymore. Why do you care so much? He won't make choices for you."
He bowed his head again and stopped talking, there was a long silence.
Later they heard Lao Dingtou calling for dinner at the door of the corridor. They went to the cafeteria together, and after the meal they began to work overtime to sort out materials. Huang Juan did not come over when she worked overtime at night. The local tax office, the industrial and commercial office, the police station and several young people living in the town gathered together for a banquet. After the banquet, a group of people went to dance in a newly opened ballroom in the town. Huang Juan was a little drunk, and the two blushed. , with heavy makeup and a lot of powder, her lips are painted bright red and shiny, she is wearing a red thin quilted cheongsam with gold thread and big peony flowers on it, and a pair of light brown high-heeled shoes, she looks like a hotel The welcoming girl at the door led a group of people to the conference room and asked Jiang Cheng to dance with her. Before Jiang Cheng could agree, she grabbed Jiang Cheng's arm and dragged her away. He endured all the annoyance and said, "I work overtime today, so I can't go, and besides, I don't like dancing, so you go, you go."
Seeing that he insisted on refusing, Huang Juan shook off his arm vigorously, and rushed out angrily, a group of people followed her.
After working overtime in the evening, she returned to the dormitory, and the floor was in a mess. In the dormitory, the two desks were placed side by side in the middle of the floor, the chairs and stools around the desk were tilted and scattered, and the cups and plates on the table were messy, piled up with leftovers. Plates and bowls of leftovers, a few small porcelain cups with leftover wine, a few empty wine bottles, a few empty wine bottles lying on the floor, a few unopened beer bottles, two bottles of white wine, and a few empty wine bottles on the ground around the table. Vegetables, rice, napkins, etc. were scattered everywhere. She stood at the door and looked at all this angrily and helplessly. Her bed was also messed up. Jiang Cheng went in and cleaned it up without saying a word. She was really angry I wanted to scold, but who was I scolding for? I had no choice but to clean it up myself. Jiang Cheng said, come on, don’t be angry. What’s the use of getting angry when you meet such a person, and I won’t live with her forever. He forcefully pushed her to the bed, and he tidied up in a hurry by himself. He set up the table, stacked up the extra stools and moved them to the corridor outside the door. He also swept and mopped the floor. He worked very neatly. An hour later, the house was cleaned up by him, he smiled at her, came to sit beside her, stroked her back, put his lips against her ear, and said softly, "Don't be angry Okay, I'll take you to the dance tomorrow, okay?" She suddenly felt very angry, and she felt that he carefully apologized as if he had done something wrong, so he kept smiling for her, and she sneered, Said, "I don't care about dancing, don't apologize for others, okay," he restrained his smile and said angrily, "I apologize for someone, I just don't want to make you angry, don't be so sensitive, okay! Don't be too far-fetched, okay?"
She didn't respond, just stared at the unopened wine bottles. He sat silently for a while, stood up and said lightly, you should rest, and then went back to his own dormitory.
After he left, she tidied up her messy bed. After washing, she didn't feel sleepy at all. Maybe it was because she slept too long in the afternoon. She lay in bed and couldn't help thinking wildly. She knew that he didn't like Huang Juan at all, and he even hated her. She, but he never completely rejected her, he always left some hope for her, like seducing a hungry lamb with a handful of grass, making her always chase after a shadow of hope.
She used to be very confident, thinking that he was hers, but suddenly she was so hesitant and worried about gain and loss, maybe it was because of too much love, she couldn't help doubting him, especially his preoccupied He still refuses to tell her the truth, and he once said that he is afraid of losing her. What is he afraid of? She is the most unlikely person in this world to leave him, but she is very afraid that he will leave her. Just thinking about it makes me shudder.