He sighed deeply, stared at her sadly, his face was stern and deep, with a look of remorse, pain, and sadness, after a pause, he said in a sad and sad tone, "I know I have no right to You don’t like to hear these words, but I just want to tell you these words, don’t look at me as a carefree and happy person on the surface, but I’m actually very empty and lonely in my heart. Huge pain, a deeper sense of emptiness and loss, my heart fell into this vicious circle and I couldn't extricate myself. Really, before I met you, I was so contradictory and lived so absurdly, and I was never ashamed of it. After seeing you, I began to face up to my heart, and then I knew what I needed, and then I realized what I had lost in the careless life I used to care about. Do you know that your contemptuous eyes are like knives? How uncomfortable it made me feel, I repented and blamed myself, and I couldn't let go of my arrogance, I know I am not qualified to say love to you, you will never believe me." The more he said, the more excited he became, his face flushed. His face was flushed red, his eyes were crystal clear, and there seemed to be a few tears shining. After speaking, he lowered his head in pain, and rubbed his face back and forth with his arms together.
She stared at him without saying a word, his performance today surprised her, he changed into a different person today, as unbelievable as a magician performing tricks, when he entered the door just now, he was careless and unrestrained, How did he become so depressed and miserable all of a sudden? Is he too good at acting? How many of his words are true? But his pain doesn’t seem to be all faked, maybe his heart is really as empty as he said, he probably really needs a life of constant stimulation, and the friendship he expressed to himself is just to satisfy his search for stimulation Just need it.
She looked at his face carefully, and if she put aside all her stereotypes about him and other things, she found that this face was actually quite handsome. Slightly bent, with a natural smile, fair skin, slightly thin cheeks, and a slightly pointed chin, there is a kind of unrestrained and unrestrained British style in Shen Yi, born with an elegant and chic demeanor, a kind that is very attractive to women The temperament of a bad man.
She still stared at him coldly without saying a word, she didn't want to say anything to him, she couldn't let him have a glimmer of hope for her, then he would stalk her, no matter whether he was out of true feelings or falsehood, His friendship was a burden to her, a crime, and she had to make him give up on her.
He looked up at her, expectant in his red cheeks, with his mouth slightly open, hoping she would say something to him, perhaps more to see if his emotional speech had the desired effect.
He stared at her for a while, then suddenly lowered his head and smiled sadly, and said, "Do you think I'm annoying?"
She smiled lightly, and answered the non-questioned question, "We are two people with very different natures. It can be said that we are two completely different people. I can't understand the pain you mentioned at all. I don't know what the wind is. How can a person who has never known hardship and suffering have so many troubles? Hmph, with all due respect, I find that you are a bit of a disease-free sex, but you are full That feeling of holding on."
He laughed, the smile was bleak, far-fetched and helpless, "You are really cold, you are too cold, do you know that you are destroying a heart, a heart that was once lost and went astray and wanted to get on the right track? My heart, I didn't lie to you, every word I said is my true inner feelings."
She said lightly: "I'm sorry, you value me too much. I am definitely not the one who can lead you into your so-called right path. This is just your illusion. Really, I don't have this power. Maybe a person should Relying on one's own strength to get rid of confusion, I think it is unforgivable for a person to fall for whatever reason."
He mockingly said, "Thank you for your merciless criticism, thank you!"
Then there was a long silence, after a while he reached out his hand to take out a cigarette from his pocket, and was about to light it, when he suddenly smiled at her as if thinking of something: "Is that okay?"
She nodded slightly.
He smoked leisurely, looking over the top of her head, as if he saw something far away, as if there was nothing but the wall behind her, and then he said indifferently, "If you don't have him, would you accept me?"
He stared intently into her eyes, waiting for her answer.
She lowered her head and thought about an appropriate answer, an answer that would not embarrass him but would also make him never ask such questions again, and it was often difficult to find suitable words for such an answer in a short time.
She lowered her head and pondered for a while, raised her head and said firmly: "This has nothing to do with Jiang Cheng. I knew you before him. I am not suitable for you, and you are not suitable for me. Really, after your **** passion, one after another What could it be, I thought, that you would continue to look for new excitement, while I would regret it for the rest of my life?"
"I said I would change, really, you believe me, I can swear to you."
"I'm sorry, taking history as a mirror, it turns out that such vows often cannot stand the test. Besides, I already have my own heart, and there is no if between us, really." She said a little rudely, and she suddenly felt very irritable. Feeling that the conversation was beyond her control and deviated from her original intention, she didn't want to continue talking with him anymore, and she was eager to end such a conversation.
She raised her hand and looked at her watch, it was nearly four o'clock, the time passed so fast, Xiao Zhang was probably coming, they were probably leaving, she wanted to go back immediately.
He was silent for a while, then reached for an ashtray on the bedside table, extinguished his half-smoked cigarette vigorously, and then said as if swearing, "I'll wait for you, I'll do what I said."
He jumped out of bed and was about to leave. At this time, there were footsteps and chatter in the corridor outside the room. The sound was getting closer and closer to this room, and then there was a knock on the door. She went to open the door, and Jiang Cheng and Jiang Cheng were standing outside the door. Xiao Zhang.
When she saw Jiang Cheng, she was very surprised, and she couldn't help but feel a little guilty. A thought quickly flashed in her mind, what the hell, could he have misunderstood Yin Yunfei here
Xiao Zhang came in and saw Yin Yunfei smiling and said: "Hi, Mayor Yin!" He hurriedly extended his hand to shake Yin Yunfei's hand.
Jiang Cheng stood motionless at the door without saying a word, his face was pale, stern, and gloomy. Yin Yunfei and him looked at each other, brushed past him, and strode away. Although she didn't see the two The look in the man's eyes, but she felt apprehensively, the silent smell of gunpowder everywhere, the shadow of swords and swords hidden in the corners of the eyes and brows, she couldn't help but feel worried and uneasy when she looked at Jiang Cheng's expression.
Xiao Zhang helped her hold the file box, she carried her simple luggage, Jiang Cheng stood at the door without moving, when she walked past him with the things, he stared at her with a serious face, she She opened her mouth to explain, but with Xiao Zhang present, it was inconvenient for her to speak. On the way back, he has been silent, sad and sad.
That day, they passed by a restaurant on the way to have a meal, and it was already past eight o'clock in the afternoon when they returned to the town hall. It was already dark and the weather was very cold.
He always ignored her coldly all the way, and she planned to explain to him quickly after returning, she followed him to his dormitory, and stood blankly in his dormitory like an icehouse, he was silent, caring Since he was busy, he regarded her as nothing. He went to the boiler room to fetch coals to make a fire, and then went to fetch water. She stood for a while and went back to her dormitory. Huang Juan was not in the dormitory, but the fire in the dormitory was very hot. Wang, she sat by the stove to warm her cold body, thinking about how to explain to him, if he refused to believe her and still ignored her, then, she murmured sadly, Their fate can only end here, when she thinks of this, she is in pain, her heart aches, no, she can't live without him, she must make him change his mind.
She found the knitted sweater, she took the sweater and knocked on his door, she heard his thick voice say, "Come in!", she pushed the door and went in, his dormitory was still very cold, he was Sitting cross-legged on the bed, holding a wine bottle in one hand and a wine glass in the other, drinking by yourself.
She walked over and sat next to him, he didn't look at her, he was still drinking one glass after another, she reached out and took his glass, stared at him fixedly, he glanced at her, stared at another place, smiled wryly After a while, he said indifferently, "What do you want to say, say it!"
"Why are you drinking?" she asked.
"There is no reason, must there be a reason for everything? Some things don't need a reason at all, right?"
She sighed and said, "Don't get me wrong, don't you even have this trust between me?"
"Did I say anything? What have I misunderstood?" he said with a sneer.
"What happened between us? Why did it suddenly become like this? If you want to give me a happy breakup, I will never hinder you from finding another love."
"Could it be that I want to find another love? Can you stop being so unreasonable and turn black and white." He said loudly.
"There is really nothing between me and him. He came to me suddenly, and I can't push him out. Don't you even have this little trust in me?" She said urgently with tears in her eyes.
"I believe in you, I absolutely believe in you, I just don't believe in myself, I feel sad for myself." He looked away with a sad face.
She stretched out her hand and turned his face to face her, and growled loudly, "What's the matter with you, can you stop torturing people like this!"
He smiled sadly, pushed her hand away, was silent for a few seconds, and said with a sneer, "Humph! Let me tell you something,"
Then he sneered and said, "On the second day after you went to the county seat, I just came back from the countryside and answered a call from your brother." She looked at him nervously, anxiously waiting for the next sentence, when he suddenly Stopped and stared at her, "What is my brother calling for? Tell me!" She shouted anxiously.
"Don't worry, it's a good thing. Your brother said he had something to do with you. I said you went out. I can tell you what happened. Your brother said he would tell you personally. I'm worried about what's going on with your family. It's not easy for you to make a phone call, maybe you went to the town to make a call? I told him that I am your boyfriend. If you have anything to do, please feel free to tell me, and I will tell you. Your brother heard me say that it is your boyfriend. My friend suddenly said excitedly, oh, that’s great, you were the one who came to our house that day, and the money that was thrown at our house that day was yours, right? , Your brother’s words made my second monk puzzled. I didn’t know what he meant. Later, I told him that I had never been to your house. Your brother said, it’s strange. Could it be that my dad listened to it? Wrong, he clearly said that a person who claimed to be your boyfriend visited your house that day. After passing by, your father found that 10,000 yuan was left at home. When he said this, your brother suddenly stopped talking, saying, it's over Let me ask my sister, and then hang up, I was going to ask when this happened, but before I could, the phone was already hung up."
After Jiang Cheng finished speaking, he stared at her coldly, she was surprised and speechless, she suddenly remembered that Yin Yunfei said that he had been to her house, it must be him, the money he left behind.
She said anxiously: "I don't know about this at all. If I knew, my brother wouldn't call."
Jiang Cheng picked up the wine glass and poured himself another glass, and said quietly: "I believe you don't know, I can guess who went to your house, he is really well-intentioned, I think, a girl like you I stayed in this remote mountain village, if I stayed in the county town, I don’t know how many dandies are waiting in line for your favor, not only Yin Yunfei, a poor guy like me is not qualified.” He sighed after finishing speaking , drank a glass of wine.
She said angrily: "If I was a person who likes dudes, if I was such a vain person, I might have accepted Yin Yunfei a long time ago. You think I am such a person, you think so!" Said When it was over, she wept sadly, and she became more and more sad, covering her face with her hands and crying loudly.
Jiang Cheng put down his wine glass and pulled her into his arms, she pushed him away hard, covered her face and cried, stood up and ran for the door, he chased out barefoot and hugged her tightly from behind, she struggled hard in his arms, He hugged her like a hoop.
She cried for a while and gradually stopped crying, he turned her around, faced him, wiped the tears on her face with his hand, kissed her eyes lightly, then hugged her horizontally, and put her on the bed in a frenzied way Kissing her, she avoided him while still choking and crying.
He got up and said sadly, "It's my fault. I'm angry with myself. He can throw out 10,000 yuan at once. What is the concept of 10,000 yuan to us? We don't eat or drink Three years' salary, I know you are a good girl, I love you, but I can't help you, I can only watch you sad, my heart hurts."