October 30
It was very painful, and worse, I actually fainted for a day. Every time I got sick before, because of Fenghua, I didn't have to worry at all. Why am I always like this. Xiao Zhijie came to see me. I don't know when he will return to human form, or if he is not willing to return to human form at all and refuses to come out to see me.
In the end how to do? The doctor forced me to stay in the hospital, Xiao Zhijie helped me, and I was able to come out. I have to see him every day and talk to him every day. I cleaned up his small room, talked to him every day, and waited for him in that small room, no, even if the dean doesn't allow it, I will not lock him every day...
I don't know what to do, I need a psychiatrist.
October 31
Infusion all day, see him at night. I stared at the monitor for four hours without any movement.
…
November 2
The media outside was in a commotion, and they also felt that something was wrong. One day the paper will not be able to cover the fire. Colleagues are restless, for fear that we have lost our only trump card.
I'm scared to lose him, very scared!
I was so stupid during this time. I had so much that I began to expect more things and forgot about him who was always by my side. I dream of him every day these days, it seems that I dream of him as soon as I close my eyes. In the dream, he was far away from me, did not look at me, did not speak to me. I barely remember the way he used to stick to me and smile at me! Ah, my Fenghua, what should I do
November 3
But I really don't know what to do. Maybe he really couldn't wake up this time.
November 4
Feng Hua, what happened to you? You don't move, you don't eat or drink, you're cold and hard, like you're dead. Feng Hua, I'm really wrong, I'm wrong, I've said it so many times and you can't hear it, what should I do
November 5
What do you need me to do? You can do whatever you want... Wake up!
※ ※ ※
Feng Hua opened his eyes, he was alone in a small familiar room.
But this room is a little strange, because almost everything is upside down, and everything that can be destroyed is destroyed. It's like a disaster scene.
In the middle of the broken coffee table, there is a photo left by Sean. Feng Hua picked up a stack of photos and looked at it a little, ah, it's her and him again, it's again. He stood up, stepped barefoot on the floor, and walked slowly forward. Every time you take a step forward, throw away a few pictures. Following the wind pouring into the bars, the photo slid behind him, swirled down, and burned instantly, like a flaming bird spreading its wings.
He felt pains and sharp pains in the soles of his feet, and when he looked back, he found that the ground was full of broken pieces of porcelain, scattered on the ground. The feet were bleeding, and the blood stained the small white carpet, mixed with the remaining bloodstains, bit by bit, piece by piece, like a red lotus blooming on the snow.
He actually felt a burst of happiness, and he smiled.
Smiling, he walked to the barred window and looked out.
Among those bright red maple leaves, he saw the young red-haired man, Sean again. Sean beckoned to him happily from below: "Feng Hua, come down quickly, it's fun outside!" Like a child.
fool.
Feng Hua looked at his anklets, bracelets, and iron railings, how could I go down and play with you
Feng Hua ignored him, he sat on the window sill and rested. He seemed to have forgotten something, he had to think about it.
…
He fell asleep and was awakened by a knock on the door.
"Who?"
The door was opened, and a forty-five-year-old, slightly fat and athletic woman walked in, her black hair was tucked behind her head, her skin was white, her outline was clear, and her demeanor was rigorous and capable: "My name is Qin Xihe, it's your psychology. doctor."
"Ah, have you hired a psychiatrist for me?" Feng Hua smiled, "Aren't you afraid of me? I just made a big fuss."
"No, it's been fifteen days. Child, don't you realize you're in a dream?"
"How did you come to my dream?"
"Hypnosis, getting into a patient's dream is easy for me."
"Really. Where am I now?"
"You're being held in an electric prison."
"Why did they invite you here?"
"Because you've been hiding yourself in a cocoon, not eating or drinking, for half a month. They're worried that you're locking yourself in a cocoon forever."
Feng Hua shook his head: "No, no one will worry about me."
"Your creator Feng Yeran hired me. He cares about you, and he needs you very much. When he called me, he was in a hurry, and he specially drove me to pick me up from the clinic."
"He's just worried about his experiment, not me."
Qin Xihe smiled: "So, do you want him to care about you?"
"… "
"Son, what do you want?"
Feng Hua was silent.
"I can help you get what you want, okay?"
"Impossible. I'll never get what I want, and it's not going to be a waste."
"How do you know you can't get it if you haven't tried it - what you want is your creator, Feng Yeran!"
Feng Hua's face was a little distorted, he forbeared for a moment, and suddenly growled intermittently, his voice getting louder and faster: "It's him! All I want is him! I hate him and others. Together, I hate that woman Chen Xuan, I can't wait to kill her immediately! I want him! I want to touch him! I want to kiss him! I want to hug him! I like him... I like him so much... "
His speech slowed down again, his eyes became more and more red, and then he sobbed, his voice less real: "...but I can't do this, no matter how much I like him, he only regards me as his relative... No, I'm just his experiment! It's still important now, but it won't be important soon... An experiment that can be discarded by him! He won't love me, never will..."
"Then you should get stronger and stronger until you show him - you can't do it without you!"
Qin Xihe smiled and continued, "Besides, do you really need his response?"
"What's the meaning?"
"If you really like him, it's fine to get him by any means. What does it matter if he doesn't respond to you?"
Feng Hua was stunned for a long time, wiped his tears, and suddenly smiled: "Yeah, just get him."
But immediately, he became suspicious again: "Are you really the psychiatrist he hired? Why would you give me such a bad idea for Feng Yeran? Shouldn't you come to convince me to give up him?"
Qin Xihe put down the notebook in his hand and leaned on the sofa: "I was indeed hired by him, but my patient is you, and I should be responsible for you—that is, to fulfill your reasonable wishes and heal you."
"Really. What should I do now?"
"First stop hiding in your cocoon, you need to get back into human form."
"And then, how to get him?"
"You can't be too impatient, you have to take it step by step. I know him. He is very slow and slow. As for how to do it, I think you should understand it yourself."
Feng Hua was silent for a moment, then sighed: "Ah, I do understand."
※ ※ ※
At 2:30 a.m. on November 9, Feng Yeran was still sitting in the monitoring room, staring at the room on the screen in a daze. His complexion was pale, with thick black under his eyes, his hair was messy and greasy, and there was stubble on his chin. It was obvious that he had not been groomed well for many days. Even Lao Zhang couldn't hold it any longer, so he went to sleep in the dormitory. He was still staring at the screen almost paranoid, talking to the room from time to time, as if trying to wake Feng Hua up, and talking to himself.
His stomach was gradually numb, and his consciousness was groggy. His eyelids were fighting, but he held on stubbornly. He seemed to be awake dreaming, or seeing some hallucinations.
He remembered his childhood, the man he longed for and longed for, his father.
Before he met his father, his mother often mentioned his father in his ear. He was a very, very powerful person who brought unimaginable but short-lived happiness to his mother.
At that time, he and his mother lived in a slum on the third basement, under the eaves that could be blown by the wind at any time, and he prayed every day for that person to pick him up. He came when he was eight years old. He was a very serious and indifferent person, he seldom laughed, and his mother knelt before him, and once knelt on the corridor all night.
But it's not that Feng Yeran's father can't laugh. He likes to laugh very much, especially in front of Feng Boran—in front of his brother who is twelve years older than him.
In order to gain his father's approval, Feng Yeran was willing to do anything. Knowing that Feng Boran is almighty, he forced himself to swim and to run, even though he often injured his legs; knowing that his father likes children with good grades, he secretly studied under the covers in the middle of the night every day until he got it from the countdown. First in the class. With constant efforts, he finally got the occasional affirmation from his father. A little praise at the dinner table would make Feng Yeran happy for several days. But all that is superficial.
When his father found out about Chen Xuan, he didn't blame Feng Boran, but scolded Feng Yeran for being in love with him early. When he knew that Feng Yeran started to hang out in bars, he scolded him for having the same virtue as his mother and being shameless. His mother was seriously ill and hospitalized, and he was still busy with his career. At the moment of his death, he didn't come back to see his mother one last time. When his father said "cut off the relationship", Feng Yeran was in a trance for a moment, did he ever have a relationship? His father, I'm afraid today, doesn't even know what month and date his birthday is. What does he like and hate
Feng Yeran rubbed his forehead and suddenly frowned.
He is clearly very aware of the pain of being ignored by the most important people.
But he did ignore Feng Hua. Today, he plays the role of his indifferent father. He is the only one in Fenghua's world, but he...
Feng Yeran blamed himself groggyly, thinking back to the past, tears shed from time to time, which he wiped off with the back of his cuff.
Suddenly, the computer made a sharp sound, and then, the surveillance camera turned into general anesthesia.
There was a slight explosion, the lights went out, and it was dark, with no fingers visible.
Feng Yeran woke up instantly. While shouting "Old Zhang, the power is off", he opened the door and groped for the location of the power supply in the aisle.
Then, in the extremely quiet environment, he heard the sound of fairly light footsteps - the sound of bare feet sticking to the tiles and rising again.
Someone was walking towards him barefoot.
"Old Zhang?"
Feng Yeran asked while fumbling, "Turn on the power quickly, I have been fumbling for a long time and can't find the location."
Then, he heard a familiar and unfamiliar voice: Ye'er.
The voice was not far from him, still cold, but much more mature, with a low magnetic tone.
Feng Yeran's mind went blank and instinctively ran towards the sound. After fumbling for a long time, he finally touched the delicate skin, the skin of a human being, and he was almost speechless with excitement: "Feng Hua!! Feng Hua!!! You finally woke up... God... God!! You're finally back!!! Omg... I thought... I thought you'd never wake up again... Omg am I dreaming?!"
Feng Yeran's excited voice trembled, his nasal voice was very heavy, his eyes and nose were hot, and big drops of tears fell from his eyes. He couldn't wait to touch Feng Hua's body in the dark, his face above him, His soft hair, his strong neck, his beautifully shaped collarbone, his wider shoulders, his powerful arms…
"Feng Hua... You've grown up again! Am I really not dreaming? I must be dreaming!"
"You didn't dream." Feng Hua's voice was low, coming from above, he was actually taller than Feng Yeran.
A strange fragrance enveloped Feng Yeran.
"How do you prove that I'm not dreaming? I dream of you every day now, and every time you tell me, I'm not dreaming, but every time I'm dreaming... The next time I wake up, you will still be that piece of meat. , and I'm sitting in the surveillance room watching you... you won't wake up at all because you're so disappointed in me..."
As if he hadn't heard, Feng Hua held up his face in the dark and helped him wipe those messy tears: "Ye'er, do those words you said count?"
"... What?" Feng Yeran didn't understand.
"You say you can give me whatever I want, as long as I wake up." Feng Hua's cold thumb slowly slid across Feng Yeran's lower lip, and whispered in the darkness, "Maybe if you give me what I want Yes, I'm not disappointed."
Feng Hua's cool breath spurted out, and the aroma was dizzying.
"Count! Count! As long as you wake up! Please wake up!" Feng Yeran shouted loudly, as innocent as a child.
He heard a brief chuckle, like a chord from a silent record.
Then, the hand that held his cheek suddenly tightened, and something pressed exactly on his lips, soft and moist.
Feng Yeran's eyes widened, dumbfounded.
(harmonious)
…
After an unknown time, Feng Hua's kiss finally became gentle again.
He tightly kissed Feng Yeran, who was already sitting limply on the ground.
At the moment when their lips separated, Feng Hua whispered "Ye'er" in the dark, as if saying a spell.
Ye'er, the name he's called out since he was born.
The name he chased all his life.
At this moment, I kiss the owner of this name with despair and pity, like a prisoner whose hands and feet are bound, singing a spell with joy and pain, which may liberate him or bind him, because he has never been able to find the key, It became an unsolvable spell.
Unconsciously, Feng Yeran fell asleep.
In the dream, he heard Feng Hua whisper again and again:
"Ye'er... Ye'er... I like you."
—To be continued
The author has something to say:
After struggling for a long time, I came back. No way, I haven't terminated the contract here yet.