Four
Feng Yeran was buried in the cemetery behind the church, with his name written on the small cross.
Starting from December 20, for ten consecutive years, Feng Hua went crazy and was controlled by obsession.
He didn't listen to Feng Yeran's words and looked at the golden notebook.
He couldn't bear Feng Yeran's death at all, so he chose to forget Feng Yeran's death. In his memory mechanism, death and love are deeply connected. After all, after he finally knew that Feng Yeran loved him, he lived happily with him for a year and a half, and the year and a half ended in death. And every day of this year and a half, there is love, and every day, there is also the fear of death.
If the memory of death is to be erased, he must also erase the memory of love.
He knows that his power is controlled by emotions (especially negative emotions), and the obsession formed by pain has extremely powerful power. Maybe, he can replicate the world he used to be with Ye'er.
His life is chaotic, either in delusions, or wandering around Feng Yeran's tomb, or like a ghost, in a large wasteland, creating the world.
When his memory of love and death completely disappeared, he forgot Feng Yeran's death.
He became very powerful.
The things he originally created could only last for half an hour, but later, it could last a day, a month...
In the third year, he was finally able to completely replicate a world about Feng Yeran and about him. Since it is based on the cognition of two people, then the world does not need to be very big.
At that time, there was only one obsession left for him. He longed for Feng Yeran's love, but he had not yet obtained it. He needed to pursue Feng Yeran's love forever until the day he got it - which means that in his As long as he never gets Feng Yeran's love, he can be with Feng Yeran forever. If you get it, it means the end.
The time in his world, just like the narrator can tell a year's story in five minutes, or a month's story in two hundred pages, cannot be compared with the real world.
As for the authenticity, it also distorts some of the content with the constant repetition and changes, and is subject to the laws of the world. Some characters in the story have their own division of labor and new names in the continuous repetition. For example, Ben My Sean's function is to maintain this repeated old world; Qin Xiche had the name Qin Xihe when he went through the second cycle, because Feng Hua's consciousness kept her and the daughter who took care of Feng Yeran later. The doctor is confused, and her function is Feng Hua's superego, rational, and also the maintainer of order in the old world. However, at the same time, it should be noted that some characters also have a tendency to want to break the old world, such as Sean, Zeng and Feng Hua together, watching butterflies and grasshoppers, speaking of cruelty under beauty. What he means is that under the beauty there is cruelty, and in turn, there is beauty in cruelty. Look at both sides of everything. Feng Hua's story stares at cruelty, precisely forgetting the beautiful part.
Since the basic principle of the world's continuous cycle is "not to be loved by Feng Yeran", Feng Hua will keep preventing the other party from falling in love with him. Whenever he found out that Feng Yeran had a tendency to love him, something terrible would happen to stop the other party's love.
In this way, almost every world ends in pain, and every time it ends, Fenghua will burn everything and start again.
As the cruel fairy tale tells:
It turned out that the price of love is the death of the prince.
The desperate monster devoured all life and burned everything.
'If love is connected with death... well, I'd rather not love! '
A painful monster with a strong obsession came to the wasteland.
It spit out a canary, and the canary flew into the sky, singing so beautifully.
It spat out a little rabbit, who was bouncing about in the dead grass, blinking beautiful red eyes.
It spat out a puppy who barked and wagged his cute tail.
It spat out the beautiful princess, who seemed to have slept for a long time, stretched and yawned.
It spits out flowers and grasses, butterflies and seabirds, dense forests, magnificent castles…
In a brand new world, it spit out my dear prince.
The poor and feeble prince.
His Royal Highness picked up a seed in the forest. He buried the seed in the soil, and the seed quickly sprouted and blossomed. Inside the huge fruit, there was a monster.
The monster is ugly and scary, but the monster wants the love of His Royal Highness.
'Please love me. ' said the monster to the prince, 'I can be what you love and I can give you anything. '
The prince will never love it.
But that is the wish of the monster!
Even if it can never be loved, even if it is only a relationship maintained by pain and hatred.
Monsters only need to be with His Royal Highness! Life after life, forever and ever! "
five
For ten years, he copied countless worlds. As he himself said:
"I've always... had a strong, obsession. It's been there since birth, or earlier. I've been driven by it. I seem to be rolling a fireball into the abyss, rolling down endlessly."
His obsession makes him keep copying the world and distorting the world, and if he can never get love, then he will suffer forever. The rigid behavior pattern of the world itself, which is constantly copied and created, is the biggest cage for him.
He is a monster in a cage.
A monster that thirsts for love and never gets it.
six
In fact, this was what Feng Yeran expected when he was alive.
So, during the year and a half he was with Feng Hua, he not only wrote a golden notebook, he also did one thing.
He let his team spend a lot of time collecting his will, and then implanted it in Feng Hua's brain.
After his death, part of his consciousness will grow in Feng Hua's brain. Because it is a brand-new technology, and because Feng Hua's own consciousness is quite strong, it will take a long time to really communicate with Feng Hua in his dreams.
In fact, it took a full five years.
The white shadow in Feng Hua's head is Feng Yeran's will.
It guides Feng Hua to sort out the broken worlds, just like Feng Yeran took Feng Hua to build a house when he was a child, from walls, to roofs, to doors and windows, to chimneys, to keys, making it bit by bit, until Find the truth, free Feng Hua from obsession, and truly gain happiness.
seven
On the table are four pieces of plasticine, of various sizes. Xiao Fenghua, who looked like four or five years old, was very puzzled.
- Feng Hua: Ye Er, how do you make a small house out of these four pieces of plasticine
- Feng Yeran: Shape them into the shape you want. This one is the roof, the largest one is the wall, this one is the door and window, and the last small one is the chimney.
- Feng Hua: There are so many crayons and oil pastels here!
- Feng Yeran: When we finish the small house, let's draw the background for the small house, the earth, the green grass, and the blue sky and white clouds.
—Feng Hua: I want to draw the two of us!
- Feng Yeran: Well, one adult and one child!
- Feng Hua: We will be together forever and ever!
…
…
Feng Hua knelt on the ground, tears streaming down his face.
He is so stupid. Too stupid.
Many years ago, when he broke out for the first time, he almost killed Chen Xuan, but was stopped by Feng Yeran.
He heard Feng Yeran say: "It only takes three years, and then I will kill Feng Hua with my own hands."
It was that sentence that made him completely despair, and made him keep splitting and distorting. But this is simply a misunderstanding! Why couldn't he listen to a few more words at that time? Why can't I communicate with Feng Yeran more? Why can't you be more mature? !
How many misunderstandings are all these tragedies made up of
If you trust each other more.
If only you could not love so paranoid.
Maybe the ending will be different
Bai Ying floated in front of Feng Hua and called softly: Feng Hua, now, do you know who I am
Feng Hua cried quite ugly, but he couldn't stop nodding: Ye'er, Ye'er.
Bai Ying's face finally became clear, it was Feng Yeran's appearance.
He sank and held Feng Hua's face gently: "Feng Hua, do you remember? You once said that once the Adesel people identify someone, it is a lifetime and forever. Even if you forget yourself, you And won't forget me... You said, I am the whole meaning of your life... "
"Ye'er..." Feng Hua's voice was no longer clear, his shoulders shook violently, his face twisted, and he cried.
Feng Yeran kept wiping Feng Hua's tears with slightly transparent fingers, then hugged him and whispered in his ear: "Fool, in fact, I am the same. Even if my body is dead, I will always be with me. You. You are also the whole meaning of my life... You have to remember, I love you! I don't want you to be in pain forever, I want you to be happy, and I want you to be born again. So don't forget it, be sure to Look at the present I gave you, okay?"
The "Reality" of "Monster" ends
The author has something to say:
There's probably one more chapter left, or two chapters if I'm going to write more analysis.
The final chapter