The summer heat was still dancing happily at the end of August. In the dim room, there was a simple bed, a palm-sized writing desk, and a stool that creaked when one sat on it. Apart from these, there were various books. Some of these books were given by others, and some were bought with the living expenses that Su Xian scraped out of his own teeth.
He would take them out and flip through them when he was bored. Over time, the pages of some books were damaged. Every time a rag collector passed by the village, these torn books were on the verge of death, because Su Xian's father always wanted to exchange these rags for small bills. He felt that this would not take up space and would also be good value for money.
Su Xian was too lazy to argue with him about what was truly worth the money. Seeing that she would argue loudly with him to protect these junks, her father tactfully stopped thinking about taking the books.
Su Xian's father, Su Changlin, never paid any attention to his daughter's studies. To him, as long as Su Xian could recognize a few words and find a son-in-law who could live with him in his old age, that would be enough. As for other things, Su Changlin never cared, let alone care about Su Xian's so-called dream.
To Su Changlin, dreams are like gorgeous clothes. They look nice but cannot keep you warm. So when Su Xian occasionally mentioned her ideal, Su Changlin interrupted her impatiently.
So Su Xian never talked about her future again, but she still cared about it, so contradictions were bound to exist.
Fortunately, Su Xian knew when to give in and when to endure. If he really couldn't endure it anymore, he would argue for a few words. In the end, it ended with Su Xian's angry accusations.
Su Xian didn't want to treat him like this. After all, Su Changlin was her father and the one who raised her, but the rift between them had been planted many years ago. It was said that there was no overnight hatred between father and daughter, but Su Changlin's hatred for Su Xian was not only overnight, but also year-long hatred.
After so many years, the relationship between the father and daughter has not only not been repaired, but has reached a freezing point. The saying "not getting along" is vividly demonstrated by them.
But Su Xian was always a soft-hearted person. Under the constraints of morality, she couldn't bear to just walk away.
Her father's room was just opposite her room, with a main room in between. Su Xian pulled open the curtain that served as the door of the room and walked to the door of her father's room.
The sound of the TV came from the room, and the strong smell of tobacco could be smelled through the curtains. This was Su Changlin, lying on the folding chair he had used for many years, smoking cheap cigarettes and passing the time in front of the TV.
"Dad." Su Xian hated the pungent smell of tobacco and did not go in. He just called out at the door. After listening carefully, he heard no response from the person inside the room. He then said, "I have packed my luggage and will be leaving soon."
A few coughs were heard in the room, and after a while of rustling, the curtain was lifted and Su Changlin walked out. There were two holes in his white sweatshirt, which were caused by cigarette ash that accidentally fell on it. Many of his clothes had this unique mark.
His beard had probably not been shaved for a few days, and it was growing wildly around his mouth. Su Xian was too lazy to say anything like "pay more attention to your appearance" because she knew it would be useless to say anything.
She placed the red envelope given to her by the village committee on the eight-immortal table: "I've kept some of the money in here for travel expenses and living expenses, you can keep the rest, and there are also those for food." Pointing to the snacks that the neighbors kindly sent her: "I took some food for the journey, and I can't take the rest, you can keep it."
Su Changlin clicked his old-fashioned slippers and threw the red envelope back in front of Su Xian: "Take it away. I'm not going to starve to death at home."
Su Xian knew that nothing good could come out of his mouth, but today's words were actually much more polite: "I don't want it."
She has always been stubborn, which is probably the only thing she has in common with Su Changlin.
"If you don't want it, throw it away." Su Changlin seemed a little sleepy: "Call me when you get there."
Just as Su Xian was about to say "hmm", Su Changlin started to complain rudely: "Don't think that you are great just because you went to a famous university. You can fly wherever you want. I tell you, this is always your home. Heyunling will always be the place where you were born and raised. You can't get rid of it in this life. No matter how well you do, you still have to take care of me in your old age."
This was not the first time Su Xian had heard these words. When the admission letter was delivered to her door, even the postal staff were happy for her. However, her father snorted coldly, leaving the people who came to deliver the good news puzzled.
Su Changlin didn't want Su Xian to go too far.
But Su Xian refused.
She didn't want to stay here like Su Changlin, living a cowardly life full of complaints and anger, a life without vitality. For her, such a life might be more painful than death.
After Su Changlin finished complaining, he went back to his room and continued to live a life of idleness and waiting for death on his own piece of land.
Su Xian put the money on the table, pressed it with his drinking cup, and said helplessly: "I'm leaving."
I walked to the intersection carrying large and small bags. The road seemed a little narrow, but it was not bad compared to before. Everything changes over the years. Some things become better and better, while some things stop moving forward forever, or even get worse.
Village Chief Zhao got a tricycle from somewhere and put her luggage on it very quickly. "I just finished talking to your father on the phone. I found out that you didn't leave, so I hurried over here. It's hard to get a ride along this road, so the village committee found one for you. Come on, girl, get in the car. Uncle will take you to the station."
Su Xian climbed onto the very spacious electric tricycle. As soon as he grabbed the handle, the car drove away. Su Xian staggered and looked back in the direction of home.
Empty.
The heat wave hit his face, the sound of cicadas filled his ears, there was no melancholy of parting, but instead a sense of relief. At the door of his distant home, Su Changlin never came out. Su Xian withdrew his gaze, feeling very used to it.
When we arrived at the station, Uncle Zhao gave us a lot of instructions and then began to teach us earnestly.
"Your father has that kind of temper. He's short-tempered, but he's not a bad person at heart. I guess since your mother left, he's in poor health, can't do heavy work, and can't make much money, so he's particularly resentful. My daughter, you've been sensible since you were young. If he says something unpleasant, just let it go in one ear and out the other. Just ignore him. If you have any difficulties outside, just call home. Even if your father doesn't care about you, your Uncle Zhao will."
Su Xian gritted his teeth, not knowing what to say except thank you.
After walking a few steps, Uncle Zhao called her again. Su Xian turned around and saw him hesitating for a long time before he smiled and said, "Actually, your father is bad at talking. He can't bear to let you go and is afraid that you will never come back."