Tang Xiaomi held the light green seaweed paper in her hand, her fingers trembling.
On the top of the paper, a few large characters were clearly printed with special ink - Physical Examination Report.
And at the bottom of the physical examination report, behind the name item, is the name of Tang Xiaomi's future husband, the future king of Atlantis, and the current Crown Prince Alfred.
The next thing was a series of densely packed and detailed medical examination reports. Thanks to the princess training courses in recent years, Tang Xiaomi can now read the language of Daxi very smoothly. Although at this moment he would rather not understand anything.
This is not to say that Alfred was found to have any hidden problems during the pre-marital physical examination. Alfred in the physical examination report can be regarded as a model of a healthy Titan mermaid, and all physical indicators are almost full marks. In fact, it is because Alfred's body is so well developed that Tang Xiaomi feels so sad at this moment.
He lowered his head and continued to read the physical examination report again in a sleepwalking state.
Then, his eyes stopped on one of the pieces of information and he couldn't move away.
xxx Development level: Good
xxx size: 43.7cm
…
Comrade Tang Xiaomi, the new Crown Princess of the Great Western Kingdom, still wants to escape the marriage today.
"Come on, Xiaomi! You need to cheer up!"
Even Taritopses' voice seemed to come from far away... Tang Xiaomi took a deep breath, and the filtered sea water, which seemed particularly cold, finally made him a little more sober.
He raised his head and stared blankly at the Turritopsis jellyfish doctor spreading its translucent tentacles in front of him.
"… This is a rather serious problem, Your Highness Xiaomi, especially considering that Your Highness Alfred is still in the growth stage, which means that in the coming period, his 'beep—' will become more and more... 'slender' as his body grows."
Taritopses chose his words with some difficulty.
"This will have a great impact on your future life together - a bad impact."
He added.
After hearing the words of the imperial physician, Tang Xiaomi felt that her face was probably as green as the seaweed paper in her hand.
"You said... it... will... grow?"
As a freshwater mermaid with a strong psychological quality due to long-term torture, Tang Xiaomi realized that her voice was trembling after she said this.
Taritopseth nodded.
Its tentacles spread out to both sides.
"His Highness Alfred's beep is about this long now, and next his beep is expected to grow to..."
“Stop, stop, stop!”
Tang Xiaomi interrupted Taritopses with her face covered.
"Please don't make gestures in front of me. I feel like I have a stomachache now."
The immortal jellyfish shrugged its umbrella cap helplessly and silently retracted its tentacles.
"Okay, I'm sorry." He paused for a moment, then continued to speak to Tang Xiaomi, who looked very Spartan, "Actually, I asked you to come here to solve this problem. After all, I have already read your medical examination report. Anyway..."
"Is there something wrong here? I didn't think he was that long when I was dating him normally."
A part of Tang Xiaomi's heart still refused to accept the reality - although as he spoke he suddenly remembered that the decorative conch under Alfred's crotch that was used to cover his private parts when they went out on dates had been replaced with a king crab shell at some point - but the naive him before was only staring at the crab shell and imagining the deliciousness of the king crab, swallowing his saliva, but he didn't seriously think about why Alfred did this.
Is it too late to regret now
Taritopses looked Tang Xiaomi up and down with a look of wonderful understanding and sympathy, and his tentacles curled up.
"Don't be like this. You are a mermaid who wants to be a princess. Besides, I am here to solve the problem with you." The Turritopsis used one of its tentacles to support its chin. "Although sex is not a necessity for most Titan mermaids, it is a prerequisite for maintaining a healthy marriage for you freshwater mermaids, isn't it?"
"Well… "
"But after seeing this data, I think you also know that if His Highness Alfred were to approach you in this physical condition, it would most likely lead to tragedy."
"What do you mean by 'could lead to tragedy'?" Tang Xiaomi felt the veins on his forehead throbbing. "Please don't say such things in such a nonchalant tone. This is a matter concerning my life!"
Tang Xiaomi couldn't help but take another glance at the data on the paper. The more he thought about it, the more he felt that if this situation continued, his entire life's sexual happiness might very well depend on his right hand. He once thought that the painful physiological contradiction between Oreo and Sal was really sympathetic, but he never thought that one day he would fall into such an embarrassing situation.
Taritopses patted Tang Xiaomi on the shoulder.
"Cheer up. Although His Highness Alfred's current size is indeed not compatible with yours, there is still a solution..." The tone of the lighthouse jellyfish gradually became low, "The only problem is that this method still has some risks."
Tang Xiaomi raised her head and looked at him with some caution.
"What risks are you talking about?"
The Turritopsis immortalis gave a creepy smile.
"This method is actually quite simple. I think you already know the physiological habits of Titan mermen. The most striking one is that during their adolescence, that is, before they are fully mature, if young Titan mermen encounter danger, they will tear off their 'beep--' and throw it behind them to attract the attention of predators. Please note that the premise of this habit is that Titan mermen have very, very strong regenerative abilities. Although in order to maintain the stability of the body, after the Titan mermen grow to a certain stage, their regenerative abilities will gradually degenerate, and their various body functions will gradually solidify, but deep in the Titan mermen's bodies, this strong regenerative ability is still retained - otherwise how can we say that Titan mermen are the most adaptable creatures in the deep sea."
Tang Xiaomi frowned. He looked at Taritopses's young face and finally understood what the old man was talking about: after talking for so long, he still didn't get to the point! At least Tang Xiaomi couldn't get what he wanted to say at all.
"So? How does this relate to the problems Alfred and I are facing right now?"
Wouldn't it be that Alfred would follow the example of those young mermaids and just rip off his penis
Just as Tang Xiaomi was thinking this, clear words came out of Taritopses' mouth.
"After discussion, we would like to recommend that His Royal Highness Alfred remove the excessively long penis from his body."
…
…
…
A stream of water slowly rushed towards the stiff Tang Xiaomi. The seaweed paper in his hand slipped away from his fingertips and was gently swept away by the current.
"Wait, wait a minute..."
Tang Xiaomi rubbed his temple and spoke. He had never felt his voice so weak.
"What you meant by that was - to have Alfred rip his 'beep' off, right?"
Tang Xiaomi really hoped that he could get a negative answer from the Turritopsis immortalus, but the reality was that he only heard the jellyfish's cheerful affirmative response.
"Yes, that's it."
"… "
"Please calm down. Asking His Highness Alfred to tear off his 'beep--' is not the whole content of this solution. It is just a prerequisite."
Talistopus' tentacles were waving desperately in the dark blue sea. Perhaps realizing that Tang Xiaomi had completely collapsed, his voice became a little hurried.
"After His Highness Alfred tears off the 'beep--', what we have to do next is to stimulate the regenerative potential remaining in his body and let him grow his genitals again."
If Tang Xiaomi's face was blue just now, now his face has turned completely black.
"Let's not talk about whether he can grow a new 'beep-', the point is that even if it grows back, it will still be the wrong size?! What kind of whale shit solution is this?!"
"Well... all 'buds' grow from small to large... during this period of time, there will always be a time when the two of you are the same size."
Taritopses spoke calmly, and if his eyes hadn't drifted away, his attitude might have seemed more convincing.
Tang Xiaomi's tail tightened little by little, and he really wanted to fan the entire coffee table onto the umbrella cap of the lighthouse jellyfish.
Perhaps because the murderous aura he exuded was too obvious, the immortal jellyfish slowly swayed back.
"Calm down! Your Highness Tang Xiaomi! Actually, what I just said was the worst case scenario. In fact, based on the physiological changes of His Highness Alfred in the past, I mean, even the material of his scales has changed greatly for you, and the hard and inflexible hard tail has become a soft, agile and powerful soft tail. He is also likely to evolve a 'beep-' of the right size for you, provided that you must give him this opportunity."
"Opportunity? What opportunity?"
Tang Xiaomi asked hesitantly.
He didn't know why, but he felt his scalp tingling and a bad premonition slowly spread in his chest.
Taritopses hesitated for a moment very suspiciously. He looked at Tang Xiaomi without saying a word - God knows how he did it, but the immortal jellyfish actually blushed.
"#￥…"
The imperial physician in the deep sea whispered something to Tang Xiaomi.
"What?"
Tang Xiaomi didn't hear clearly, he leaned forward slightly and asked.
Taritopses raised his voice this time, and said to Tang Xiaomi seriously: "You need to arouse Alfred's desire for you."
"Huh?" Tang Xiaomi opened her eyes wide in confusion.
After several seconds, he slowly understood what the imperial physician meant. To sum it up, after Alfred forcefully pulled out his too-long "beep--", Tang Xiaomi would continue to try to tease the prince, who no longer had any tools to commit the crime, and the latter's strong desire would make him produce a new "beep--". If he was lucky, the sizes of Tang Xiaomi and Alfred's organs necessary for their married life should be compatible this time.
After a long silence, Tang Xiaomi spoke with a dead look in his eyes.
"Excuse me, but I always feel that this method is very..." The young and traumatized freshwater mermaid thought for a while before finding a word to describe the whole plan, "unreliable."
The lighthouse jellyfish trembled in the sea water.
"It's not unreliable, Your Highness Tang Xiaomi. Please trust our professionalism. However, I must admit that this plan does have some risks... If Your Highness Alfred's inner desire is not strong enough to drive his organs to regenerate, then..."
Taritopseth did not finish his words.
"… "
The tip of Tang Xiaomi's tail tightened unconsciously.
For Poseidon's sake, he really felt that Taritopses's meaningful "then" was a bit scary.
"You, let me think about it."
A few seconds later, Tang Xiaomi fled from Turritopsis' office in a cold sweat.
vol.2
A few days later—
Atlantis District Atlantis Embassy
Royal Living Area
(Platonic marital happiness)
After typing these two keywords into the search engine, Tang Xiaomi hesitated for a moment before pressing the Enter key.
However, after seeing the answer from the search... he turned off the computer with a pale face.
"Help… "
Tang Xiaomi slammed his head heavily on the table and let out a long sigh of decadence.
Well, after several days of data collection and inner struggle, Tang Xiaomi had to admit that to some extent, the extremely frustrating solution provided by Taritopses was actually the most feasible one.
There are only two cruel options before Tang Xiaomi.
First, there is no x life
Second, have Alfred tear off his "beep-"
…
"We've been through so many years. Even if xx and oo didn't exist, we should still be able to be together happily in the end. If it doesn't work out, I still have my right hand, right?"
Tang Xiaomi looked down at her hands and tried to comfort herself with a trembling voice.
For a moment, he almost convinced himself... if Alfred hadn't swam into the room at this moment.
"Xiao Mi!"
Calling his lover's name sweetly, Alfred rolled into Tang Xiaomi's room happily like a large dog hearing that he was going out for a walk.
"Al."
Tang Xiaomi took a deep breath, then turned around and gave Alfred a bright smile.
He swore in the name of Poseidon that it was just an ordinary smile...
He really didn't know why after seeing that smile, Alfred suddenly stopped and started to blush.
If it was just blushing, it would be fine, but what made Tang Xiaomi even more confused was...
The king crab shell covering the sensitive area between Alfred's legs.
The huge, bright red, and heavy-looking decorative crab shell inlaid with a large number of gems and pearls was covering the area below Alfred's belly button just a few seconds ago. However, after Tang Xiaomi smiled, it was forcibly pushed up by some part that needed to be mosaiced.
silence.
silence.
Still silent.
…Dead silence permeated between Tang Xiaomi and Alfred.
After a long time, Alfred stretched out a hand expressionlessly and pressed it on the crab shell.
"I'm sorry. I don't know why this happens all the time recently." He said calmly but with rapid breathing, "But the royal doctors said this is a very normal phenomenon - I heard that this situation is very common among male mermaids of the right age in your place?"
“Normal… Normal?!”
Tang Xiaomi stared at Alfred blankly. He always felt that he should say something, but after opening his mouth, he found that his brain had completely gone blank. The huge "beep" that had just caught his eye clearly was like an infertility hospital advertisement on a local TV station in a third-tier city in the human world, lingering in his mind for a long time.
So, where did those royal doctors of the Atlantis get the confidence to tell Alfred that this was a "normal" phenomenon
Even a baseball bat looks cuter than Alfred's beep, right?!
At the moment when Tang Xiaomi was about to have a mental breakdown because of the "beep", Alfred did not realize the shock his lover felt... On the contrary, Tang Xiaomi's seemingly dazed look was actually cute in the eyes of Prince Titan.
A strange heat flow that had become increasingly familiar to Alfred surged through his body during this period of time. Every time he looked at Tang Xiaomi, the heat flow would surge more intensely. The result of the surging heat flow was...
Alfred lowered his head and looked at his crotch silently. The king crab shell that he had just pushed down with great difficulty was pushed up again without him even realizing it.
“Boom boom… boom boom… boom boom…”
What made Alfred feel even more helpless was that he felt that the "beep" in his body, which had no presence before but was always appearing now, was pulsating along with his violent heartbeat.
He couldn't help but lick his lips with his tongue, and his gaze towards Tang Xiaomi was filled with a sharp and eager desire. The wildness in his heart was clamoring, and he felt that he needed to get closer to Xiao Mi... preferably so close that there was no gap at all.
"Xiao Mi, you freshwater mermaids are better at solving this problem, right?"
Alfred frowned and took off the king crab shell that had lost its concealing function. Without the pressure of the shell in the way, the stick popped out with a "beep--" sound.
"Hmm, it's strange, recently whenever I see your face, it gets really hard..."
Alfred pointed a finger at his crotch and asked Tang Xiaomi.
However, he had just swam towards Tang Xiaomi's direction when he saw the freshwater mermaid's face change drastically and she jumped up with her tail flicking.
"Wait a minute! Don't come over here yet."
Tang Xiaomi screamed, and as Alfred approached, he kept backing away. By the time he realized what was happening, his entire mermaid had shrunk into the corner.
"Xiao Mi? What's wrong with you?"
But at this moment, Alfred seemed to have completely ignored his attempt to stop him, and just walked towards him with that extra-long and extra-thick monster-level "baseball bat".
"I… "
I am in the middle of a huge crisis in my life.
Tang Xiaomi really wanted to shout out loud.
As Alfred got closer, the "beep" sound became clearer in his field of vision.
The genitals of the Titan mermaids are also very "Titan" in appearance: the testicles, which are usually hidden inside the scales, will swell to the size of a baseball when excited, and the dark red cylindrical surface of the penis is covered with very fine diamond-shaped scales. The closer to the glans, the rougher it is. At the part closest to the top, the scales gradually become thinner and softer, and finally turn into a circle of raised small fleshy barbs. Under natural conditions, the Titan mermaid can produce up to about 30 liters of sperm mass per day during the entire estrus period. Because of the Titan mermaid's peculiar reproductive method, the male Titan mermaid has evolved unusually large sperm for reproduction, which is why the Titan mermaid's "beep--" has such a terrifying huge appearance.
Tang Xiaomi glanced at Alfred's "beep", and then couldn't help but look again, only to feel dizzy.
"Ah, let it soften first!"
The kind-hearted freshwater mermaid truly felt that her sense of shame was dying.
In front of Tang Xiaomi, Alfred fiddled with the long weapon under his crotch in an unusually rough manner, then raised his head and said to Tang Xiaomi in a troubled tone: "... I can't seem to do it... I can't make it retract."
"… "
Wait, wait a minute…
In the confusion, Tang Xiaomi suddenly remembered the Titan Mermaid Physiology Lesson that Taritops had given him before.
Because the Titan Merman's "beep" retains some ancient parts, so they can only go soft after being completely released after xx...
Tang Xiaomi bit her lips, and was completely at a loss.
"You, please be gentle."