It would indeed be a good idea to use a toilet instead of a cesspool.
The next day, Yuchi Jin sent Xie Tian and Xie Di to lead more than a thousand guards to the nearby villages and counties to buy used toilets from the villagers. He also allocated a large amount of silver to the two Xies, hoping that they could buy a large number of toilets.
At the same time, Yuchi Jin ordered Li Cunzhang to go to Yizhou to buy alum; and ordered Li Kexiu to lead his troops to build ladders, catapults, siege hammers and other equipment.
For half a month, Yuchi Jin insisted on bringing people to curse in order to confuse the other party's attention.
July 13th is a good day.
The wind is blowing from the south, which is the best time to use Li Kexiu's strategy.
Yuchi Jin led the palace guards, carrying ladders, pushing catapults and siege hammers, and slowly approached Tongcheng, preparing to storm the city.
As soon as they arrived at Tongcheng, Yuchi Jin ordered Li Cunzhang and Li Jun to lead 3,000 guards to feign attack on the east city; He Gongya and An Jinjun to lead 3,000 guards to feign attack on the west city.
Without exception, all of these guards carried ladders, pushed catapults, and siege towers, and also brought thousands of toilets.
In Tongcheng, Zhang Yan and Peng Zan had already reacted. The three walls were all filled with Zhaoyi guards, and there were even reserve and substitute palace guards waiting at the foot of the city. They did not dare to take the Shatuo people lightly, and almost came out in full force.
They had no confidence in defeating the Shatuo people in a field battle, but if they were to defend the city, they had nearly two or three times the number of troops as the enemy. It was a joke in their view that the Shatuo people wanted to storm the city with such a small number of troops.
There is a reason for their confidence. In the era of cold weapons, the casualty ratio in any conventional siege would be at least three to one. In other words, the attacking party would have to use the lives of at least three soldiers to kill one soldier defending the city.
After everything was ready, Yuchi Jin rode out of the camp and came to the foot of Tongcheng. He shouted, "Zhang Yan, Peng Zan, I will give you a chance now. Offer the city and surrender. Otherwise, once the city is broken, don't blame me for being ruthless."
But before she finished her words, Zhang Yan's loud laughter rang out from the city wall: "Hahaha, kid surnamed Han, are you kidding? Do you think we don't know that you only have so many troops? How dare you talk about taking down the city? Aren't you afraid that the wind will blow your tongue away?"
"I'm not afraid to tell you the truth. In this Tongcheng, my Zhaoyi Army has nearly 30,000 guards. You want to capture the fortified city with such a small number of people. You are really looking for death. If you want to fight, then fight. There is no need to waste time." Zhang Yan responded bluntly.
"Okay, I hope you won't regret it after waiting." Yuchi Jinhan looked pretty and immediately rode back to the camp. Since someone didn't believe it, let him suffer a little.
Yuchi Jin arrived at the front and immediately put 3,500 Yue cavalry on alert. At the same time, he swung his sword and shouted, "The Zhaoyi Army is so ignorant. Let them see our General Li's new discovery."
"Yes!" The soldiers of the three armies shouted in unison, their voices reaching the sky and shaking the whole area.
With a loud response, dozens of catapults were immediately loaded with "stones". Li Kexiu was in high spirits. He drew out his long sword with a "clang", raised the sword to the sky, and shouted: "Release".
The slingshot made a roar, and as the slinger pulled the handle,
I saw countless toilets flying into the sky, drawing graceful arcs under the white clouds, and falling straight towards the bronze city wall.
The guards of the Zhaoyi Army stationed on the city wall all looked up at the sky with curiosity. The imagined stones did not fly towards them, but instead there were countless old wooden barrels. The guards with better eyesight could even find that there seemed to be shriveled gray solids in the cracks of the wooden barrels.
What is this? Is it the weapon that the Hedong Army used to conquer the city? It doesn’t seem like a big deal. Even if it’s filled with water, it won’t be as lethal as a stone.
All kinds of strange speculations arose in the hearts of the guards of the Zhaoyi Army. Even Zhang Yan and Peng Zun were puzzled. The catapult did not shoot stones but actually shot wooden barrels. What did this mean
But just as they were puzzled, the first toilet crashed down on the city road. With a loud bang, the wooden barrel hit the stone ground and exploded, and countless foul smells and stench came to their noses.
The guards who were closer to the toilet were splashed with feces and urine, which was even more pungent and eye-catching in this hot weather.
This scene completely shocked countless Zhaoyi Prefecture guards. Even Zhang Yan and Peng Zan looked dazed. However, this state only lasted for a moment before they were forced to wake up. All the people around them covered their noses and mouths. The smell was too strong.
This was just the appetizer. Following the explosion of the first wooden barrel, dozens of wooden barrels then crashed down. Yellow and filthy stuff flew everywhere, and countless guards of the Zhaoyi Army were splashed with feces and urine.
That’s not all. The pungent stench and smell of urine were so strong that they almost suffocated people. Some people even started vomiting violently on the spot, even throwing up their overnight snacks. Their intestines were almost emptied, but they still couldn’t stop the nausea and the stench and smell of urine that were everywhere.
This is just the first wave. Before one wave subsides, another wave comes, continuously and endlessly.
Although the two brothers Xie Tian and Xie Di were usually rude and reckless, they always carried out Yuchi Jin's orders wholeheartedly. They spent almost all of their money to buy 10,000 or 20,000 toilets, and even the "stock" in them was not wasted and they brought back all of them.
How many catapults can Li Kexiu make in half a month? At most, it will be less than two hundred. Roughly speaking, at least dozens of waves can be launched.
In an instant, under the copper city, countless toilets rose into the air, one after another, and smashed directly onto the copper city.
The stench and the pungent smell filled the air in and around Tongcheng, becoming stronger and stronger. As the toilet fell and feces and urine spurted out, the smell became worse and worse.
Even the people in the city couldn't stand it anymore and ran back home, sealing the doors and windows. For a while, the streets and alleys were cleaner than during curfew.
The Zhaoyi army guards stationed in Tongcheng vomited again and again, their bodies so exhausted that they couldn't even hold their spears. Zhang Yan and Peng Zan also had green faces and gritted their teeth while trying to hold on. From time to time, they would stretch out a hand to cover their mouths and nostrils tightly. Only when they could hold it in unbearable would they reluctantly let go of their hands and frowned with bitterness on their faces.
The two tough guys couldn't resist the smell and vomited three or four times. All the guards on the city wall were
Including the officers, everyone had a sad face and was dying. They were like a fish out of water, wandering between "drunkenness and death".
Li Kexiu did not slack off and kept projecting for more than half an hour. He only ordered people to stop when he could smell the strong scent even against the wind.
Then he immediately brandished his sword and shouted, "My men, cover your mouths and noses with wet cloths. It's time to break into the city and kill the enemy. Everyone, lift up the ladders and follow me."
Following Li Kexiu's loud shout, countless Hedong guards couldn't wait to take out wet cloths, stuffed their mouths and noses with them, then climbed up the ladders and rushed towards Tongcheng.
Seeing that the enemy finally stopped firing, the guards of the Zhaoyi Army wanted to get up and prepare to resist the enemy's attack. However, as soon as they got up, they saw the filthy yellow and green scene around them, their knees went weak and they fell down again.
This situation happened to more than one or two people; it happened to almost everyone. In addition, the stench and urine smell that was everywhere rushed into their noses and mouths like crazy. Without special training and prior preparation, who could bear it
If you look down from the air, you can see that on the three sides of the Tongcheng, countless ants are rushing in an orderly manner towards a city in the middle. Siege engines, pushed by the palace guards, are rushing straight towards the city gate.
On the city wall, countless ants rose and fell but could not stand up. Even under the threat and pressure of two strong ants, they still could not get up. At this time, almost all the guards of Zhaoyi Prefecture had only one idea.
That is, just surrender and leave this stinking place as soon as possible. Apart from that, there is nothing else to think about.
Seeing this scene, Zhang Yan and Peng Zan's faces turned even greener. Their situation was originally very good, but they had to admit that they were defeated. They were not defeated in terms of combat power, numbers, or even courage, but they were defeated by a pile of shit and urine.
Looking at the bottom of the city wall, dozens of ladders were set up on the wall. It was difficult for some of the Zhaoyi Army's guards to climb up. At this time, the agile Hedong guards had already rushed to the top of the city wall. Li Cunxin, Li Cunzhang, He Gongya, Li Jun, An Jinjun and others took the lead in climbing the ladders. When they saw someone standing up, these officers and guards covered with white cloth who had rushed to the top of the city wall were not polite and stabbed the person in the head with a knife, immediately killing the person who tried to struggle.
During the entire siege, the guards of Zhaoyi Prefecture could not even put up sporadic resistance. Occasionally someone stood up, but he was exhausted before he could kill anyone. He was killed with a single sword by the guards of Hedong Prefecture who climbed up the city wall.
Yuchi Jin also wore a wet cloth as a mask and led 3,500 Yue cavalry. After blasting the city gate open with the siege hammer, he immediately rode his horse and drew his sword, charging into the city. Of course, he also had Xie Tian and Xie Di, the two family generals who swore to stay with him until death.
It was too late for Zhang Yan and Peng Zan to escape at this time. The moment they saw Yuchi Jin rushing into the city from afar, they accepted their fate.
In this battle, the Hedong Army, with 10,000 guards, broke through the Tongcheng city which was garrisoned by 30,000 guards, captured the Tong defenders Zhang Yan, Peng Zan, Xu Jian, Zhu Shi, Liu Tang and other generals, and captured a total of 30,000 soldiers from Zhaoyi.
After some calculations, it was found that the Hedong Army suffered almost no casualties, with only a few individuals spraining their ankles because they were too eager to win credit and ran too fast. Even the Zhaoyi Army suffered less than a hundred casualties. It was a grand battle, but in the end they were defeated by excrement.