It was a night long enough to be engraved on an epitaph, in the form of poetry, doused with glittery gold paint. The feeling of Lu Chengze is not only the "flickering and lovable" that I once made up for, he is polite and presumptuous, which makes me feel cherished and plundered, a kind of superego thrill that makes me feel whole after the end. Trembling for a long time.
True satisfaction has an aftertaste and requires aftertaste. My legs were wrapped around his waist and refused to let go, and I kept this position obsessed.
We were both hot and humid. In the end, Lu Cheng took me down to take a shower, yes, carry me, as I asked, and pulled it on his back muscles, so that it could stick behind his ears, he told him lightly: " You are so lovable."
He stopped, shrugged his broad shoulders slightly, and snickered "righteously".
When I was taking a shower, I was curious: "Where do you get your muscles from sitting in front of the computer every day?"
"I like swimming," he said.
I was surprised: "Are you really swimming?"
Lu Cheng said: "Really travel, I will go when I have time, and I started to degenerate after I got to know you."
I frowned alertly, recalling the previous chat: "Aren't you still baking, riding, basketball?"
Lu Cheng smiled: "Yes."
It turned out that only playing games was to coax me. I angrily took out the shower and poured on him: "Big liar."
He nimbly avoided the corners, and brushed his wet forehead hair on his head again, the water droplets hung on his eyelashes, and the bathroom was foggy, and he looked like a fake.
I squeezed his arm.
He was in pain and looked at me in confusion.
I asked, "Does it hurt?"
Lu Cheng nodded.
Me: "That's fine."
Lu Chengze still looked "???".
I said, "Make sure you are alive, not artificial intelligence."
Lu Cheng was amused: "Artificial intelligence cannot enter water."
I said, "Maybe a waterproof material for your skin."
He pulled me into his arms, making a nasty voice mixed in the hot flashes: "Yeah, otherwise I would have a short circuit in bed just now."
I glared at him and didn't look at the wall tiles, just didn't look at him.
He turned my face back and kissed me. After pecking, he stopped to watch for a while, his eyes that were close at hand, strong and moist, always made me feel that he had loved me for a long time. He loves me so much.
When I got back to the bed, I started to feel sleepy and confused. I was sleepy in Lu Chengze's arms. I felt in a trance that he kissed my forehead and then the tip of my nose. Why does he like kissing me so much, do I have sugar on me
I rolled my eyes and called him lazily, "Little Panda."
He should: "Yeah."
I hummed and said nothing.
Lu Chengze, curious about the baby: "Why don't you speak when you call someone?"
I asked casually, "Are we dating now?"
Lu Cheng quickly replied, "Of course."
His well-deserved response made my brain thump, and my sweet thoughts vanished. I opened my eyes completely: "Huh? We're already in love?"
Lu Chengze: "Yes."
I felt my eyelids move quickly: "When?"
Lu Chengze's expression was obviously stunned: "Now, just now, two days ago—" He may not be able to find the specific node, and finally stared at me and smiled: "Why are you so surprised?"
I sat up: "Because I have absolutely no idea."
Lu Cheng then got up, adjusted his sitting posture, and met me face to face quite formally. The conversation was normal: "Now confirm?"
"Wait a minute," I stopped him. "Are you sure? Would you like to think about it again?"
Lu Chengze frowned slightly, "What are you thinking about?"
I said, "Have we known each other for ten days?" I didn't count, it should be less.
Lu Chengze said: "We have only known each other for a week, and today is the seventh day."
When he said this, a look of incomprehension slowly appeared on his face, like a gray transparent mask made up of complex emotions, making him no longer intuitively bright, become gloomy.
I don't even know what I'm worried about, everything happened so fast, Lu Chengze doesn't know me well enough, and I don't know him well enough, I don't want to constrain myself into a fixed relationship too quickly, even if it's very disappointing to say it , but they are real, and I have to listen to my inner feelings, rather than living in the cajoling and pushing of myself. It's just that my prediction made a major mistake. I didn't expect that in Lu Chengze's eyes, our relationship had already advanced by leaps and bounds.
During the few seconds of silence, I began to remedy and suggested softly, "Can we get along for a while? It just so happens that both parties are calm and considerate."
Lu Chengze's black eyes clasped at me: "Are you still thinking about it?"
I paused and confessed, "I think I might need to."
Lu Cheng said, "I don't need it."
Putting down the words without emotion, he started some behaviors that caught me off guard but could understand - silently picking up the sweater he was wearing at the end of the bed when he came, put it on, and put on trousers again.
I looked at his neatly dressed, just filled chest as if it had been emptied again, leaking and aching.
Finally, he said calmly: "I'll go back first, you rest early."
I was considering whether to keep it or not, because it was already early morning, but I had a hunch that it would probably fail.
I symbolically got out of bed and ran out of the bedroom.
He probably didn't expect me to chase after me naked. He first nervously looked around to see if there were any window sashes, and then said to me, "Go back to your room."
I said, "It's late, you stay here today."
He looked at me seriously: "It's not too late."
I know there is something in his words, but I can't give him a definite answer right away.
After a few seconds of silence, his tone became gentle and alienated: "Go in, don't catch a cold, I'm leaving."
I just sat back on the bed when I heard the sound of his door closing.
To be honest, I can't feel much anger, and it looks more like a complete disappointment.
After Lu Cheng left, the room was empty and cooled, like an oversized empty refrigerator. I sat on the head of the bed, playing with my fingers for a while for a while, the ghost knows what I was thinking, all I know is that my eye sockets slowly warmed up from the needle-like heartache, and then quietly cooled down.
I noticed that Lu Chengze's bird ornament was still on my desk, so I got out of bed and took it. I tried to hang it on tiptoe a few times, but all ended in failure. Put it back in the carton.
—
The next day was approaching noon, and on the way to the meeting, unexpectedly, I received a message from Lu Chengze, he was still my top, and the moment I only saw the reminder before I saw the content, I felt that there was a pacemaker in me. The top of the heart was squeezed hard.
In the chat interface, it was his casual invitation: Are you coming out for lunch at noon
—As if we never parted ways last night.
I guess he may have thought about it for a long time after returning home, and decided to compromise with my opinion or to discuss it in person, but there is no way, I just have an appointment with the client at noon. It took me a while to edit a reply that I thought was a good tone, and declined his invitation.
But I didn't expect this to be a watershed moment.
In the next few days, I didn't meet Lu Chengze on the subway. We lost all contact and didn't say a word.
A few times I wondered if he had deleted me, but no, I can still see his Moments, but there are no new updates.
His playlist is no longer updated.
I watch it a few times a day, as if it’s a reflex behavior. During weekend dinners, I usually talk to my friends about it, and they all pay attention to “Have you fallen asleep?” I nodded, and they beamed excitedly: “That’s not true. That's it, you can earn it until you sleep."
In a sudden emptiness, I smiled tenaciously: "I only slept once, but I still feel quite a loss."
But I didn't feel sad about "evaporating from the world". I commuted to get off work, went shopping, sang, drank, played script kills, swiped Weibo, Douban and Taobao, updated social updates as usual, and didn't stop listening to songs. During this period of time, I listened to "Undercurrent" over and over again. I couldn't get Faye Wong before my first love in college. I thought her voice was mysterious and her lyrics were mysterious. ; The more beautiful things are, the less I can touch; History repeats itself, in such a noisy city."
Will Lu Cheng observe me as I secretly observe him? Or his Bluetooth signal has been connected to the new headphones. From the diversity of listening to songs, it can be seen that his orientation is not single, and he can always find a matching party.
More choices, more joy; life, feelings, nothing more.
So I am always longing and pessimistic, brave and cowardly, immersed and sober.
But it doesn't affect me missing, missing this warm, romantic week that can make the soul throb like crazy, even if life is long, the same adventure is hard to come back, just like - as long as you are accustomed to looking at the sky, always Similar blue-pink sunsets can be found, but never the same.
On the same evening, I walked through the company's long hallway with floor-to-ceiling windows and sat back at my workstation.
Just when the screen was turned on, it was an urgent notice from the director from the private chat. Our department had an AM threatened premature birth and needed to be hospitalized to protect the miscarriage, so we could not continue the current project.
And I just came down and asked if I could push her.
It was an oasis public welfare project in cooperation with Lifu. Half a group and five people had to go to the in-house of Party A's company for a whole month.