There was an operating table in the middle of the small dark room, and I was lying on it, and two men wearing masks were slicing open my stomach bit by bit with knives in their hands. The feeling is clear: the cold texture of the scalpel against the skin, the dull pain when the flesh is cut. My head started to sweat, and my body trembled violently because of the pain, but those two people didn't pay attention to me at all, they only focused on the movements of their hands, and there was no emotion in their cold eyes. Finally one of them reached out and pulled out the bright red kidney from my stomach.
…
I sat up abruptly, panting heavily.
It turned out to be a dream.
I stretched out my hand to wipe it and found that my forehead was full of sweat. I tried to calm my breathing, and kept comforting myself that it was just a dream.
The ward was so quiet that there was no sound at all. I turned my head, and my mother fell asleep with her eyes closed. Gently got up and walked to the window, it was already late at night, and there was not a single star in the dark sky. The picture in the dream kept flashing in my mind. I closed my eyes and tried to suppress the fear in my heart.
It turned out that I was nothing but a coward.
Aunt Li came early the next morning. When I went to work in the supermarket these days, Aunt Li was helping to take care of my mother. I've already made up my mind, and I'll quit my job at the supermarket after the kidney sale is settled. To be honest, I don't really know how much damage to the body will be caused by losing a kidney, but after thinking about it, it is impossible to do the physical work in the supermarket after the operation.
After thanking Aunt Li, I hurried to the supermarket. After getting on the bus and passing a few stops, I realized that I forgot my mobile phone in the ward. Because I was worried that Aunt Li would not be able to find me if something happened, I hurried out of the car and ran to the hospital. When I arrived at the hospital, I just opened the door of the ward and found that Aunt Li was holding my mobile phone in her hand, with a disturbed expression on her face.
"Aunt Li, what's wrong?" I hurriedly looked at my mother, she was still sleeping, and there were no doctors around, it didn't look like something happened.
"Xiao Mu, what's going on?" Aunt Li handed me the phone hesitantly, with a worried expression on her face.
I took the phone, but I was stunned when I saw it. It was a text message I just received [Please send the physical examination report to this email xuyiien@xx.com before tomorrow . If there is no problem, we will arrange surgery next week.]"Your phone rang just now. Aunt Li didn't understand this, and she was worried that someone might be looking for you, so she picked it up and wanted to connect. After pressing a few times, these few came out." Seeing that I was silent, Aunt Li spoke again. .
"It's okay, maybe it was sent by mistake, I don't even know this number." I put the phone in my pocket, pretending to be relaxed.
Aunt Li frowned for a moment, and stood in front of me, "Xiao Mu, although Aunt Li is a country girl with little education, don't treat Aunt Li as a fool."
"Aunt Li, don't think too much, I really don't know this person. I should be late for work, so I'll be leaving first." As I spoke, I wanted to leave the ward in a panic.
Aunt Li grabbed me, and her voice became louder, "What surgery? Why do you need your inspection report? Xiao Mu, what are you doing without telling us!"
I tried my best to hide it, and even wanted to take off Aunt Li's hand and run outside. Aunt Li held me tightly, not giving in no matter what. Seeing that other people in the ward began to pay attention to this side, I had no choice but to drag Aunt Li aside and told her about selling the kidney.
"You... you silly boy! What stupid thing are you doing!" Aunt Li looked at me with red eyes, her voice choked with sobs.
"It's all right. I've asked all the questions. There are two kidneys in the human body and one less will not affect anything." I comforted with a smile.
Aunt Li stood up abruptly, and looked at me anxiously: "How could it be unaffected? How can someone pay so much money for a kidney if there is no influence! Xiao Mu, listen to Aunt Li, you are still young, and you have a long way to go. Don't do anything stupid!"
I lowered my head and did not speak. After a while, I spoke with difficulty: "There is not enough money for the operation fee. I have no choice. I can't let my mother have an accident..."
Aunt Li burst into tears, her voice trembling: "If Axiu is not stupid, if she knows what you are going to do, then she would rather die than continue treatment. Aunt Li has taken care of her for so many years, knowing She really regards you as her own child. What mother in the world is willing to trade her child's health for her own life!"
I clenched my fists, and my eyes gradually blurred. Every word Aunt Li said hit my heart hard. It is true that no mother in the world would be willing to do this, but what child in the world would watch his mother die step by step? Although I have only been with my mother for less than a month, she is the best person in the world to me. If I can't even protect her well, I really don't know how I will survive.
I raised my head, and just about to continue my persuasion, Aunt Li suddenly walked aside quickly and began to pack her things, "It's dead! We can't cure this disease! I'll take Axiu out of the hospital right away!"
I hurried over to pull her, but Aunt Li shook off my hand, "I can't let you ruin my life. Axiu must think the same way."
I stopped Aunt Li's movement and repeatedly promised that I would not have this thought again, so Aunt Li reluctantly agreed to stay in the hospital temporarily, and we will think of a way.
"Xiao Mu, don't try to do the operation without telling us. If you really get back the money from selling the kidney, I'll take Axiu out of the hospital right away. I will never let her use that money for medical treatment." When I walked out of the hospital, Aunt Li looked at me firmly and said.
I nodded with a wry smile, feeling both moved and bitter in my heart. I know that Aunt Li is thinking of me, but if I don't sell my kidneys, where can I raise money
When I was working in the supermarket, I couldn't concentrate all the time. In my mind, I listed ways to find money one by one, and denied them one by one. At this time, I began to desperately regret my previous inferiority complex. Because of being an orphan, he was always excluded and bullied when he was a child, and he never dared to make friends with others when he grew up. The consequence of avoiding the crowd far away is that I have lived so far without even a single friend I can rely on.
That night, my mother's symptoms started to flare up again. She curled up and hugged her stomach tightly, her forehead was covered with sweat, and she seemed to be in extreme pain. Aunt Li had already gone back, so I hurriedly asked the clinical patients to take care of me, and then ran to call the doctor in a panic.
After the treatment, the doctor warned that the spread of the cancer cells began to accelerate obviously, and if it was delayed, there was no hope of a cure.
I stood there blankly, my mind blank. It took a long time before I walked back to the hospital bed, sat down and looked at my mother silently. After treatment, she was a little weak, and her mind was not very clear.
"Speaking of it, I don't know why my parents don't want me. I am obviously in good health and have no intellectual defects." I pulled up my mother's hair that fell on the temples, and said softly.
"When I was young, I didn't know what an orphan was. I thought all the aunts in the orphanage were mothers. Mama Chen, Mama Li, Mama Zhang. Later, I realized that the children outside called their mothers without their surnames.
The first couple who adopted me were a middle-aged couple who treated me very well. But then having a child of my own sent me back. It's been 10 years since I was adopted for the second time. It was fine at first, but then the hostess felt that I had a bad personality, and kept her head down all day without saying a word, worrying that I might have some psychological problems, so she sent me back to the orphanage. "
The last time was 12 years old, and it was a couple who seemed very gentle. When I went back with them, I found out that both of them had violent tendencies. They beat me whenever they got upset, threw everything they grabbed at me, and even had their heads smashed by ashtrays. Someone called the police and I was sent back to the orphanage by the police. "
Speaking of this, I was probably a little noisy, and my mother opened her eyes and looked at me in a daze. I smiled at her, held her hand and said, "Since then, I never dare to look forward to having my own parents. It's just that when I grow up to this age, I see those children holding their parents in the street Still envious."
"Mom, you are the first person who made me feel important. Let me know that there are people who will be sad and sad if I am gone.... Let me know what it is like to have a mother..."
Tears fell from my eyes, I lowered my head and cried, "I won't let anything happen to you... I don't want to be alone anymore... I don't want to be alone anymore..."
Rough palms caressed my face, and when I looked up, my mother looked at me sadly, wiping the tears on my face with tears.
She must not understand my words, but just because she sees me cry, she will be sad. There is no reason and no reason is needed, because she regards me as her own child.
I reached out to wipe away her tears and comforted her softly. She smiled at me, her eyes were gentle and loving, and the corners of her eyes were full of warmth. All the cowardice and fear in my heart were melted in an instant, and I silently made a decision.
After my mother gradually fell asleep, I gently put her hand in the quilt and covered it. Standing up and looking at her for a while, she walked out of the ward firmly.
sorry.
I'm breaking my promise again.