Like the flowers outside the house, Shi Jin left this window.
Standing in front of the window of the attic, Jiang Jiusheng looked at the wind chime swaying on the door. Green memories flooded his mind.
There were laughter and tears, it was her and Shi Jin who were young.
That year, when she was sixteen and Shi Jin had just come of age, she and him were lying on the window of the attic, looking at the flowers downstairs. At that time, October had passed, and the begonias were about to wither.
Still, she loved it.
She leaned against the window, looking at the flowers outside the window, and Shi Jin leaned against the window, looking at her.
"Sheng Sheng."
She turned her head: "Huh?"
He hesitated for a moment before asking, "Do you like me?" After speaking, his earlobe turned red.
The sixteen-year-old girl shyly turned her head away and said in a low voice, "I told you so."
Shi Jin was young and mature, and was always serious. At this moment, he smiled, flattering her, and coaxing her, "Say it again, I still want to hear it."
She didn't say anything, her face was a little red.
Shi Jin wrapped her eyes around her eyes, and at this moment, like a young man, not as calm and indifferent as when facing the Qin family, but like a child, chasing after her and asking: "Sheng Sheng, do you like it?" ? Hmm? Do you like me?"
She just confessed her love yesterday and said it.
Last night, he begged her to say it again.
She stopped talking.
Seeing that she didn't answer, Shi Jin didn't get annoyed at her, took her two hands, hesitantly, and put her hands on his waist. At that time, he was still a frail young man, looking at the girl with a smile in her eyes and a red face.
"Shengsheng, do you like dogs?" he asked.
She nodded: "I like it."
He suddenly called out: "Wow!"
She froze for a moment, then smiled.
Shi Jin stepped forward, hugged her lightly, and said contentedly, "My Shengsheng finally laughed."
She hasn't laughed for a long time. At that time, she was very depressed and didn't like to talk or laugh. No matter how much he teased her, it was useless.
Because she was ill all the time, Shi Jin didn't let her go out, she started to be afraid of people, and stayed in the small building all day and night, with nothing to do, so she sat on the steps of the attic and waited for Shi Jin, and she waited for a whole day , no one talked to her, and she was unwilling to open her mouth. Shi Jin hung a wooden wind chime at the door of the attic. Because it was made of wood, the sound was not clear and pleasant. I chose a wind chime made of wood if I didn't put any metal utensils in it.
One day, Shi Jin came back very late, she sat there after dinner and waited, his legs were numb, and he came back.
"Shengsheng," Shi Jin squatted down, a few steps lower than her, looked up at her and said, "Don't sit so high in the future." It was too dangerous, and he was terrified when he saw it.
She nodded and said to him, "Don't come back so late next time, okay? I'm a little scared by myself." She didn't speak for a day, and her voice was slightly hoarse.
Shi Jin promised her: "Okay." The light in the attic was not turned on, and he looked at her face through the light downstairs, she was a little blushed, stretched out his hand, touched it, and it was still a little hot, moved closer, and asked, "Sheng Sheng , did you steal a drink?"
She was underage, and he wouldn't let her drink, but she always drank secretly because of insomnia.
She shook her head: "No."
Shi Jin held her face in his hands to prevent her from moving, leaned over and kissed her: "Obviously I drank brandy secretly."
Her eyelashes trembled slightly: "Well, I drank it secretly."
He didn't talk about her, because he wanted to kiss him. He walked up the steps, sat beside her, without speaking, lifted her chin, and kissed her gently.
The young kiss, dare not be too presumptuous, a little green, slightly sweet, only dare to stick out the tip of the tongue a little, to taste the taste of brandy between her lips and teeth.
She blushed, raised her head to let him kiss slowly, and clutched his clothes tightly with sweaty palms.
The white moonlight outside the window came in, enveloping the two young people, the girl's eyelashes were trembling, and the boy's ears were red.
Memories, slightly sweet, astringent.
Jiang Jiusheng went down to the attic. The room on the second floor closest to the stairs was Shi Jin's room. Because the attic was very small, there could only be one bed. She slept in the attic, and Shi Jin slept in the room on the second floor.
For a while, she had severe insomnia at night and would go to sleep in his room. At that time, she was young and had no defense against men and women. After having dreams, she would be afraid, and when she closed her eyes, she would see blood and Wen's greenhouse.
She hugged the pillow and knocked on Shi Jin's door.
"What's wrong?" Shi Jin was wearing pajamas, his hair was messed up, and his hair was very soft. At this time, his whole body felt soft and not aggressive at all. When he just woke up, his voice was hoarse and soft. , "Baby, dreaming?"
She nodded, holding a big pillow, showing a small face the size of a palm, with uncertain timidity in her eyes, and asked him, "Can I sleep with you?"
Shi Jin froze for a moment, his ears were a little red, he looked at the nightdress on her body, and looked away: "Shengsheng, I'm an adult, I can't sleep with girls." He tilted his head, his Adam's apple rolled slightly roll.
At that time, he was still young, except for her, he didn't know any girls, and he was too caught off guard by his deep love, and he hadn't learned how to deal with it, so he was a bit reckless.
She was very disappointed: "I know."
Then he lowered his head and was about to go back. As soon as he turned around, Shi Jin took her hand. When he was young, his eyes were as black as ink, and the shadows reflected were also thick. He suddenly solemnly said: "After sleeping together I want to get married." He bent down and looked into her eyes, "Shengsheng, do you want to sleep?"
She thought for a while, then nodded: "Yes."
At that time, she firmly and firmly believed that if she had a future, she would definitely marry Shi Jin.
Shi Jin smiled lightly, led her into the room, and did not forget to tell her: "Don't forget, when you grow up, you will marry me."
If she's still alive: "Yeah."
Shi Jin knew that she was dishonest in sleeping, so he let her sleep on the inside. The autumn quilt was thin, very soft, and it was full of the smell of shower gel from Shi Jin's body. They obviously used the same shower gel. But it's different, Shi Jin's body is different, it smells good, just like his person, it's cool, but it's subtle enough to penetrate into a person's body.
In the middle of the night, she woke up suddenly, because she was afraid of the dark, a small lamp was on beside the bed, and when she opened her eyes, she saw Shi Jin's face, he seemed to be sweating, and his forehead was wet.
She was half asleep, a little dazed, and as if uncertain, she stretched out her finger and poked the face of the boy next to the pillow: "Shi Jin."
"Um?"
She was a little sleepy, with heavy eyelids, and whispered softly: "Did you call me just now?"
He looked at her, his eyes were moist and slightly red, and in the silence of the night, she could hear his breathing, which was clear and powerful, but he didn't answer her.
She was sleepy and dreamy: "You just called me, I heard it."
Many, many times, he kept calling her, urgently and urgently.
Shi Jin was lying on his side, reaching out his hand to touch her face: "Well, I'm calling you."
She was very sleepy, but she strained her eyelids, and saw that his cheeks were flushed, and his eyes, which were dyed a little crimson, seemed to be reflected in the large expanse of begonias behind the house. It was clearly pure black and thick ink, but no matter how you looked at it, it looked like colorful gorgeous.
She asked him, "Are you dreaming?"
Shi Jin responded, "Yes."
She asked again, "Did you dream about me?"
He was silent for a moment: "Yeah."
There was sweat on his neck, she stretched out her hand to wipe him, but when she touched his skin, she realized that it was hot, unlike usual, his body temperature was always cool, but now it was scalding hot.
She wiped him with the palm of her hand: "What did you dream about?"
Shi Jin grabbed her hand, took it away, and said in a low, hoarse voice, "Shengsheng, turn around."
She opened her eyes and woke up a little sleepy: "Huh? What's the matter?"
He looked at her, his eyes were flushed, hot, like a fiery peach blossom in the depths of his eyes.
"I'm going to get up and change," he said.
She was ignorant, didn't know why, and didn't understand the meaning of her words.
Shi Jin suddenly stretched out his hand and covered her eyes, illuminated by the dark lamp, his eyes were full of lust: "Because I was dreaming just now." He propped up his body, moved forward, and pressed his lips on the girl's lips, lowered his eyes. Tell her loudly, "I dreamed that I was doing bad things with you."
Her face suddenly turned red.
She understood, the content of his dream.
An eighteen-year-old boy, he doesn't care about desires. All the charm of his youth is in his dream, from the first meeting to sleeping together with her.
Later, she became more and more ill, always looking out of the window, like a wisp of cloud that was going to be blown away by the wind.
Once, Shi Jin went back to the small building with injuries.
She has a good nose and can smell it as soon as she smells it. She pulled him to sit on her wooden bed, and she rolled up his sleeves. Sure enough, he was injured. I don’t know what it was. Skinned.
"You've been getting hurt lately."
Shi Jin rubbed the center of her frowning brows: "I got it during training, it doesn't matter."
She got up and went to get the medicine.
Because he was always injured, anti-inflammatory and hemostatic medicines were prepared in the small building.
She squatted in front of him, dipped a cotton swab into the ointment, rubbed it on him clumsily, lowered her head, and focused on her movements: "I want to be a doctor." She raised her head, because she hadn't seen the sun for a long time, her skin was too white and thin , with big eyes, she looked at Shi Jin, "However, I'm sick and drop out of school now, so I can't get into college."
She was not very good at studies because she was seriously partial to subjects, especially mathematics. When her mother was still alive, Shi Jin was also at her home. He taught her mathematics, but she didn't want to learn it, no matter how he taught her, she couldn't.
Now, I suddenly miss the book on the desk at home. It is densely packed with notes written by Shi Jin for her, with neat and beautiful handwriting. On the first page, besides her name, she also wrote Shi Jin's name .
Shi Jin lowered his head and asked her, "Then, how about I become a doctor?"
She thought about it and shook her head: "I hope you can do what you like."
She hopes that the boy she likes can be reckless and frivolous in his youthful youth, don't trust the horse rein, and spend half his life wandering. She hopes that someone will be with him in fresh clothes and anger the horse, and someone will accompany him to prosper in flames.
Shi Jin took her hand and pulled her to his side, he said, "Shengsheng."
He said: "I don't have anything I like, only people I like." He looked at her, with stars and the sea in his eyes, "You are the only one."
So what would he do if she was gone? What else could he like
At that moment, she really wanted him to like something else, the stars in the sky, the begonias on the ground, or the wind chime hanging by the door.
She was afraid, afraid of him, falling to one side, ten miles landslide.
But what to do, she couldn't hold it anymore.
"Shi Jin."
"Um."
She pulled him and walked to the window. The begonias under the attic had all withered, leaving only bare branches: "It's almost winter."
The wind in early winter, bleak and biting, rolled the withered yellow leaves on the ground, wantonly in the sky.
Shi Jin tightened his clenched hands: "Is it cold?"
"Um."
He hugged her and hid her small and thin ball in his arms.
She raised her head, her eyes were cool and empty, and she said to him: "After I die, can you bury me under this begonia?"
That way, she could still be with him. In this world, except for that piece of crabapple flowers, she could only miss him.
Shi Jin suddenly let go of her hand and stopped hugging her.
He said, "Not good."
For the first time, he had a cold face to her, and his eyes were fierce.
With a vicious expression on his face, he said: "If you are going to die, I will bury you in my coffin." Like a puff, "Then we will be buried together."
Not in a fit of anger.
She knew that Shi Jin never lied, if he said he wanted to be buried together, he would definitely do so. He also said that he doesn't like this world. If he has not met the things and people he likes, he will just make do with it. But if he does, he will lose it and go back to the boring past. .
She was afraid that he would say such a thing again, and that it would become a prophecy.
"I don't like to say things like that." She was serious.
He also said, "I don't like it when you say that either."
They had a quarrel, and Shi Jin didn't talk to her for a day. Later, she took a whole bottle of antidepressants and died half-life. At that time, the psychiatrist was bribed, and after "curing" her, she no longer had the slightest desire to survive. , Shi Jin knelt by her bed and cried.
"Shengsheng, I'm not good. I won't be angry with you anymore."
He just wasn't angry with her anymore, but he didn't take back what he said.
Not long ago, Jiang Jiusheng learned from Mother Jiang that at that time, Shi Jin had someone make a coffin, which was a little bigger than ordinary coffins, enough to hold two people.
If it wasn't out of anger, eighteen-year-old Shi Jin was ready to die with her.