Qin Hao was sitting on the sofa in the living room, staring at his toes in a daze. He suddenly didn't want to go home. There was no one at home anyway. He just received a text message from Mu Qianxue not long ago. He had to work overtime tonight, so Sleeping in the office.
He is in a daze.
What Bai Ruolin said before leaving touched a sensitive place in his heart.
He thought he had already downplayed these things during the two years he had conquered his inner demons in the mountains, but when he heard about it, he found that he still overestimated himself. At least, when he heard about the memorial service and military parade, he still felt... Make waves.
He felt cheap about this, and he hated this feeling. He didn't understand where this chaotic and impulsive emotion came from.
Obviously there is no Zero Team anymore and all the brothers are dead. There is no indication from above. They just gave a so-called secret medal. They dare not publish any information and do not agree to retaliate. Just because the mission cannot bear the label of the country. Otherwise it will bring trouble to the country.
Yes, they once worked so hard for this country, so they ruined their lives and families, but what was the result? There is only one medal, which cannot be displayed yet.
The country did not rescue them, and there was no so-called revenge. Even now, even the brothers’ families do not know how they died, whether they were bringing honor to the country or died accidentally. They cannot even be called martyrs, and their deaths are so unknown. white.
In fact, Qin Hao did not finish what he said to Bai Ruolin. In his opinion, it was not just that they did not owe the country, but that the country owed them. What they did was so chilling.
He couldn't help but complain, why? Why should people like them die silently like this? Why should they not even have tombstones or martyrs? Why should they not even have an explanation from their families after they die
Why!
In those two years, they sacrificed their lives for the country, but when they were most desperate, they were all given up. No one can understand this feeling. No one can understand the pain, resentment, and dissatisfaction in Qin Hao's heart. clear.
He hates himself, hates himself for being weak, hates himself for not being ruthless enough. Even though he has been abandoned and was hurt so deeply, after hearing the terms of the recall, he is still heartbroken. This so-called desperate effort is simply not worth it!
However, he also wanted to rectify the names of his brothers. Whether it was a memorial service or a military parade, all this meant that the country was willing to recognize the identity of Team Zero and that they sacrificed their lives for the country. Their names might also appear on the monument.
He knew the dreams of his brothers, so why fight for them? Is it just a feeling of protecting the country and benefiting the people? No, they also want to one day wear regular military uniforms and appear in front of their families with medals on them to show their glory to their elderly parents, beautiful wives, and lovely children.
Instead of being like now, where the death is unknown and there is nothing on the tomb except a name, even if a dog dies, it should have its identity and ownership, right
Could it be that this is life
Qin Hao picked up his cell phone, dialed Mu Qianxue's number, and hung up before being connected. He remembered that she should still be working at the moment. It was late at night and she was not in good health, so it was best not to disturb her.
After a moment's hesitation, he sent a text message.
"Honey, I suddenly miss you so much."
After sending the text message, Qin Hao threw the phone aside and lay half on the sofa looking up at the ceiling. He really didn't want to move.
"What's wrong? Are you in a bad mood?" A soft and fragrant figure sat next to Qin Hao, very close to him.
This kind of aroma was very familiar to Qin Hao. It had a light fragrance and smelled very good.
He stretched out his hand to hold Yunshan in his arms, buried his face in her chest and rubbed her without saying a word, like a child looking for milk.
Yunshan didn't get to the bottom of it. She rubbed Qin Hao's head with her little hands, inserted her fingers into his hair, and slowly combed it for him. At this time, she seemed to be wearing a halo of motherhood, a hug, and a comfort. Every movement can bring spiritual comfort to Qin Hao.
The eldest sister is a mother. This kind of feeling of being half sister, half mother, loving and pampering is something that Mu Qianxue or any other woman in Qin Hao cannot give, only Yunshan can.
After dawdling quietly for ten minutes, Qin Hao raised his head and looked at Yun Shan.
Yunshan naturally saw Qin Hao's gaze, with a smile on her face, and asked gently: "What's the matter? Do you want to tell me something?"
"It's okay, I'm just upset for no reason." Qin Hao withdrew his gaze, touched Yunshan's soft and sweet lips, and lay back again.
At that moment, he was almost ready to talk to Yun Shan about what happened on the rooftop, and it was a very strong impulse.
But after that moment passed, he suddenly changed his decision again, and he felt that he couldn't say it.
It's not that Yunshan is not good enough. Qin Hao can be sure that if he wants to say something, Yunshan will definitely be willing to listen and even help him find a solution. However, after all, these things involve too much, and many of them are secrets. Talking about them will only bring trouble to Yunshan, and he doesn't want that.
He knew that Yunshan had finally killed Wan Xiong to avenge Xiang Yuntian's betrayal. She finally let go of her obsession and began to live the ordinary life she hoped for, doing the doctor's job she loved.
She was so happy that Qin Hao didn't want to destroy it. He couldn't give Yunshan a complete version of himself, and he already felt guilty enough, so how could he still bring trouble to her? Not even if she wanted to.
After all, he is the man!
It was at this moment that Qin Hao understood the truth. In fact, there are no people in this world who can share everything. Even family members and lovers will have their own secrets, and there are various reasons that they cannot tell. .
Qin Hao suddenly felt that he was a little weak, and he suddenly had the idea of telling. Yes, it seemed that there were more and more women around him, and his life was becoming more and more ordinary, and he also changed accordingly.
Whether it was before the sudden arrival of Concubine Luo Mi that made him feel the pain of betrayal, complaining about it in Mu Qianxue's arms, or now lying in Yunshan's arms, this was something he never did, did not bother to do, and did not need to do in the past. Things to do.
What happened to me? The longer you live, the more you go back
"You're not going back tonight?" She didn't know how long it had been, but Yunshan moved her body, which was numb from sitting for a long time, and glanced at the time displayed on her phone, and asked softly.
"I'm not going back." Qin Hao crawled out of Yun Shan's arms with some nostalgia, scratched his messy hair, and curled his lips: "There's no one when I go back anyway, so I might as well stay here for one night, at least I'll have Sister Shan." You stay with me."
"Okay, let's take a shower first. If Yaoyao won't come back tonight, you can sleep in his room. If you don't want to, my room doesn't lock the door." Yunshan said with her usual expression, without any shyness.
To her, Qin Hao seemed to have always been a child, the introverted slug who followed her around and called "Sister Shanshan" all day long.
The elder sister takes her younger brother to bed. She didn't know how many times she took Qin Hao with her when she was a child. Now she still feels that it is no different from before.
Therefore, the relationship between them is very strange. They are obviously like siblings, not like a couple at all, but they have the identity of a couple, and they even do couple things. It feels like two people giving to each other, one What is given is the hope of survival, a feeling of care, pampering and being needed.
"Well, Sister Shan, please go to bed early. I'll sit by myself for a while and I'll take care of things."
Anyway, he can't do bad things now. For him, sleeping in Yunshan's place is the same as sleeping in Song Yao's room. Of course, he must still be leaning towards Yunshan. Now he is becoming more and more squeamish. Without someone in his arms, he will think of messy things and cannot sleep peacefully.
PS: There are two more updates, please give me some flowers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (To be continued)