Within a few days, Lin Yuehua went to the hospital. After Tong Yan got out of school, Zhuo Xiangming picked him up and went straight from school to the hospital. She didn't have any needles on her hands at the time, and she was wearing light makeup. She looked very energetic, even more energetic than when they met at home on weekends. It was Zhuo Zhengde who was by her side Appears to have lost his soul.
Tong Yan knows that there are not many people with advanced cancer who can survive for such a long time, and they will eventually reach this point.
But knowing rationally can't control emotions, when they came out of the hospital, Tong Yan's hand was held by Zhuo Xiangming all the time. The two returned home relatively silently, Zhuo Xiangming was alright, he was an adult and looked like an adult, the main reason was that Tong Yan was not in a good mood—depressed, he put down his schoolbag and went to eat, but he didn't take a few bites of the meal.
Zhuo Xiangming touched the rim of his bowl with his chopsticks: "Don't you want to eat?"
Tong Yan said: "I don't want to eat."
"Then eat later when you're hungry." Zhuo Xiangming didn't force him, "Is there a lot of homework?"
Tong Yan said: "It's okay."
Zhuo Xiangming hummed, stopped eating, and led him upstairs.
While Tong Yan was doing homework, Zhuo Xiangming was busy with his own affairs. He sent a few emails and made two more phone calls. Tong Yan listened and was contacting the doctor.
After a while, Tong Yan put down his pen and said, "Mom, can this disease still be cured?"
Zhuo Xiangming sat behind the desk, raised his eyes upon hearing this, and looked at him with pity. After a while, he said softly, "We are trying to find a way."
Tong Yan quickly lowered his head, Zhuo Xiangming hung up the phone that was waiting to be connected, walked up to him, pinched his chin with his hand, and found that his eyes were red.
Tong Yan always knew that Lin Yuehua was ill, but she didn't go to the hospital, so he could tell himself that it was nothing serious, and seeing her suddenly put on a hospital gown today, he really couldn't stand it.
Zhuo Xiangming let go of his chin, and he immediately turned his face away.
After eight o'clock, the sky darkened, night fell, and the glass windows behind me were pitch black.
Zhuo Xiangming squatted in front of Tong Yan, holding his hand with one hand, and covering the side of his face with the other.
Tong Yan felt that Zhuo Xiangming must feel a hundred times more uncomfortable than him, and he should be comforting Zhuo Xiangming at this time, but the situation is reversed. He felt that he was useless, and then felt sorry for Zhuo Xiangming.
"Tongtong." Zhuo said to Mingwen, "shall we chat?"
Tong Yan took a breath, rubbed Zhuo Xiangming's palm, and said to him: "It's okay, you do your work first, I will do my homework."
He was never someone who said he was fine, Zhuo Xiangming looked at him and confirmed, "Are you really fine?"
Tong Yan smiled at him: "Really."
Zhuo Xiangming patted his face with the back of his hand, got up and said, "Then do your homework first."
He went to make a phone call again, this time not in front of Tong Yan, and walked to another room.
Tong Yan thought, he can't help with this kind of thing, so he can only try not to make trouble, at least handle himself well. He was confused and sad, but he still finished his homework seriously, collected his schoolbag, and went down to the first floor to put it away.
At night, Zhuo Xiangming took a shower first, and after Tong Yan got out of the shower, he was carried into bed by him.
Zhuo Xiangming first helped him blow-dry his hair, wrapped it in his arms and blew it a little bit, and when it was done, he held his face and kissed him, Tong Yan took the hair dryer and put it on the bedside table with his backhand.
"What's the matter?" Zhuo Xiangming rubbed his back a few times and said in a low voice, "Don't feel uncomfortable, my heart aches."
Alpha's pheromone slowly soothed the tense nerves. The bedroom was lit with a dim yellow wall lamp, which only circled the bright corner of the bed. Tong Yan leaned against Zhuo Xiangming's arms, feeling his comforting touch. After a while, , whispered: "Just now I thought of my mother, but actually I don't remember her very much."
Zhuo Xiangming murmured, and hugged him even tighter, Tong Yan said again: "My father and brother used to mention her a lot, but in recent years it has gradually decreased. They all said that she loves me very much, But I don't remember, and I can't recall."
"There are many photos of her at home. She is very beautiful. My dad used to play home videos a few times. She was still healthy at that time." After a pause, Tong Yan said, "There was no me at that time."
After thinking about it, Zhuo Xiangming said, "What is the content of the home video?"
Tong Yan recalled: "Tong Yang is also very young. They spread a piece of floral cloth on the lawn in front of our house and put a lot of food. My father took the video recorder and chased Tong Yang to ask him questions."
Zhuo Xiangming said, "Where's your mother?"
Tong Yan said: "She... She is on the side, smiling all the time, very happy."
Tong Yan's words were quite rambling, but Zhuo Xiangming seemed to understand something.
"It's not your fault that you don't remember her." Zhuo Xiangming said, "At that time, you were too young to tell when you were full and hungry. Many children who were trafficked at that age thought that their adoptive parents were My dear, this is not the child's fault."
"I believe she is not only happy when she is with Tong Yang. You are a young son and an omega—many people think that omega babies are cuter, so we can reasonably assume that after you are born, your mother must be too. Very happy."
Tong Yan didn't speak. After seeing Lin Yuehua, many thoughts that he had been avoiding surged up, and these things that needed to be avoided were too heavy for him, and he couldn't adjust his mood.
"Her body became ill after I was born." Tong Yan said slowly.
Zhuo Xiangming leaned back on the head of the bed, held Tong Yan in his arms to find a more comfortable angle, pulled the quilt to cover Tong Yan, and said, "Baby, that's not your fault."
"Everyone is looking forward to the arrival of a new family member. The decision to have a child is also an adult's own decision. There have been birth risks since ancient times. If one is avoided, another will naturally arise. The troubles are never solved." Zhuo Xiang Ming said, "No one can choose his own birth, only the person who gave birth to him can."
"Their decision to conceive must have been based on a willingness to take risks."
Tong Yan turned to look at him, feeling that Zhuo Xiangming was too eloquent, and felt that every word Zhuo Xiangming said was reasonable.
Zhuo Xiangming's face looked very gentle under the dim light in the room, his brows were kind, and when he looked down at him, his eyes were focused and serious. Tong Yan's heart stopped for a moment, his eyes became hot, and he looked away in a panic.
"Baby." Zhuo Xiangming kissed his eyes and sighed softly, "Baby."
Tong Yan has never been short of material things since he was a child, but he has always envied the existence of his mother. He envied other people's mothers in a very despicable way: whenever he saw a classmate's mother coming to pick him up from school, he would be very jealous. I really want to be that kid.
When he grows up and goes to elementary school, his need for his mother seems to be less strong, and this kind of thought does not appear so frequently, but the influence still exists. "My mother" is on the lips.
But he himself didn't realize that when he was in junior high school, he had a good relationship with a boy for more than two years, until one time he heard that boy chatting with a group of people, talking loudly, and he only got along with Tong Yan because Tong Yan was rich. It's time for dinner, it's not a loss anyway - the boy will bring lunch for him and Tong Yan every day, which his mother cooks.
Later, the relationship between the two faded when Tong Yan deliberately stayed away, and it was at that time that Tong Yan realized his problem.
So he fumbled and changed this paranoid again.
Life without a mother is not smooth, it is very tiring, you have to go through many detours and experience more ups and downs than others, and you have to figure out many problems that are not problems. It is very hard to grow into a generally good person. adults.
Tong Yan once thought so.
Until he met Zhuo Xiangming.
Both his parents were there, but he grew up silently and became a very good adult.
Tong Yan also realized that the family model in the world is not fixed, everyone has a way of expressing love, not necessarily existence means participation, and there are not as many ways of expressing love as there are ways of ignoring.
At first he wanted to get close to Lin Yuehua, probably because of the curiosity caused by the lack of female elders, and later he fell in love with Zhuo Xiangming, because he felt sorry and heartbroken for the neglect that this person had received, so he tried his best to draw in the relationship between Zhuo Xiangming and Lin Yuehua relation.
Later, Lin Yuehua treated him very well, and he really liked Lin Yuehua, but he had to admit that most of it was because of Zhuo Xiangming. Because of the blood relationship in his lover, he gave some more love.
Tong Yan has felt the importance of family integrity for more than ten years, and he understands better than anyone else that after Lin Yuehua passes away, Zhuo Xiangming will completely become a very poor person, and the damage caused by the permanent break of some connections cannot be repaired Yes, he no longer needs to be sympathetic and pitiful, why does Zhuo Xiangming have to suffer this kind of torture
He would rather that Zhuo Xiangming would always return to that home again and again with awkward complaints about Lin Yuehua and Zhuo Zhengde. Although it didn't look very happy, at least there was a place to go back to.
"I wanted to lose my temper with you today." After a long silence, Tong Yan said.
Today the head teacher sent out the letter of intent for the college entrance examination. This was revised and confirmed by them in the first and second grades of high school. This time is the last time. The person who confirmed it before was Tong Yang, but this time it became Zhuo Xiangming.
Before he got married, it didn't matter where he went to study, and it didn't matter how far he went, but so many things happened in between, today the letter of intent he got for applying for Tong Yang Ding's foreign school still signed Zhuo Xiangming's The name, and the word "agree" was written in the column of the guardian's opinion.
At that time, Tong Yan was so angry that his hands were shaking, and he remembered the little abnormalities he had shown from time to time recently, staring at "agreed" speechless.
With the letter of intent in his pocket, the first decision was to say at the school gate that he would go back to Tong's house. If Zhuo Xiangming is still not sure about the relationship between the two of them, let's calm down for a while.
Then at the entrance of the hospital, he planned to ask Zhuo Xiangming directly, expressing all his dissatisfaction, what is marriage and tokens to him? If that doesn't give him security and complete confidence in his love, what will
Tong Yan prepared many sharp words, but in the end he was not willing to say them.
After deciding to go back to Tong's house in the classroom, he couldn't help but think, Xuangui's battery has never been changed, when will Zhuo Xiangming take it to change it? I tried my best, but it didn't work, but now Zhuo Zhengde seems to be willing to take care of his family, will Zhuo Xiangming gradually have more confidence in his relationship in the future? He didn't even last three minutes in his free and easy way, how could he talk about meeting Zhuo Xiangming face to face.
"... The hateful thing is that as soon as I saw you, all I thought about was loving you. You said that your mother was hospitalized, and I immediately worried about whether you would be very sad, how sad, and would lose my temper in a few seconds. Forgot about it."
Hearing what he said, and how he felt from the school gate to his return home, Zhuo Xiangming felt like a waste.
He doesn't want to be a loser in his relationship, but the fact is, if Tong Yan didn't stop and wait for him again and again, he wouldn't even be able to reach the starting line.
If Tong Yan hadn't asked about the relationship first, when would he have confessed his love to Tong Yan? Maybe wait for him to recover, maybe wait for him to go on vacation, or maybe wait for him to finish his exams and go abroad, fly away, and when he returns home, there will be another excellent alpha standing beside him. He can only tell himself at night that love does not necessarily have to be obtained, What's more, I have never obtained what I have fought for, so why waste my efforts.