My Feelings Can Wait

Chapter 37

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Ji Youyan lost her soul and held on to the armrest of the sofa, and slowly fell down. She stared at the box that was rejected by Jingxiu at the door, and looked at the water stains from the melting snowman in the box, like blood stains from her heart.

She clasped her hands, clasped her fingers together, and squeezed hard, trying to use the pain to regain a little sense of being alive.

The door to the suite opened with a click, and a long, slender light leaked in. Yao Xiao yawned, closed the door, and lightly walked towards the door of Jingxiu's room with the moonlight and a little light from the street lamps.

Ji Youyan quietly watched Yao Xiao walk to Jingxiu's door, crouched down, picked up the box containing her broken heart, turned around and walked out.

"What are you doing?" Ji Youyan suddenly said coldly.

Yao Xiao didn't notice that there was still a person sitting in the living room, and was frightened by Ji Youyan's sudden voice, "Ah", and danced several times.

The pose is very funny, but Ji Yuyan can't laugh at all. She stood up, walked to the wall, and turned on a wall lamp.

When the dim light came on, Yao Xiao could see clearly that the person standing in front of him was Ji Youyan. She raised her head and took a long sigh, and complained in shock, "Mr. Ji, you scared me to death, why didn't you say anything."

Ji Youyan didn't mean to appease her. She stared straight at the box in Yao Xiao's hand, her throat was sore, and she asked again in a hoarse voice, "What are you doing?"

"Mr. Jing asked me to come up and take care of this." Yao Xiao followed Ji Youyan's line of sight to the snowman and replied calmly.

Let's deal with it... Do you find it annoying to even put it on? The light in Ji Yuyan's eyes completely disappeared. She lowered her head and lost the strength to laugh at herself.

After Yao Xiao answered, he realized that Ji Youyan looked weird? She tentatively said, "Mr. Ji?"

Ji Youyan raised her eyes to look at her, sniffed, and showed a far-fetched smile.

The slightly watery eyes betrayed her fragility.

Yao Xiao was startled, and realized that Ji Youyan was afraid that he had misunderstood his words, so he quickly waved his hand and added: "Ah, Mr. Ji, don't misunderstand. Mr. Jing has an electric heater in his room, and the snowman may melt in a while. "

Ji Youyan blinked, stunned, as if he didn't react.

"Mr. Jing asked me to take it and ask the catering department if it can be stored in their freezer first." Yao Xiao explained.

For a few seconds, Ji Youyan wondered if she was too sad, so she had auditory hallucinations

But she pinched her fingernails with her fingernails...

It hurts! !

Ji Youyan suddenly opened her eyes wide, and when she heard that fireworks burst into flames in her heart, she was stunned and happy.

She raised her hands high, ecstatic, and took two quick steps, as if she wanted to give Yao Xiao a big hug, but she restrained herself from Yao Xiao's teasing eyes. But no matter how calm she tried to pretend, the curvature of the corners of her lips really couldn't be suppressed.

Yao Xiao looked at her as if she was the aftermath of a catastrophe, with a rare clumsy and cute reaction, and couldn't help but chuckle twice.

"Mr. Ji, how about I discuss something with you?" Yao Xiao joked half-truth.

Ji Youyan looked at Jingxiu's closed door, his eyes full of tenderness, and with a shy smile, he nodded. Don't say it's one thing, even if it's a hundred things now, she is willing to promise Yao Xiao.

"Mr. Ji, how about you send some to save next time?"

How hard is this snowman to keep? She was pulled out of the bed by Teacher Jing in a cold world, and now she has to go to the catering department to find someone to store the snowman in their freezer. Then, the courier went to work tomorrow, and she had to find time to send the snowman back in person. The most important thing is that, after such a toss, this snowman has been kept in the refrigerator, and it will deform after a long time.

People who fall in love always have brain circuits that are different from ordinary people. Even Teacher Jing, who has always been calm and composed, is no different. Yao Xiao was both sad and funny.

Ji Youyan couldn't hear Yao Xiao's overtones. She let out a low laugh, and answered her with a good temper: "Okay."

Yao Xiao raised his glasses, pointed at the snowman helplessly and said, "Alright then, Mr. Ji, I'll go down first, otherwise it's time to melt."

Ji Yuyan nodded.

After Yao Xiao left, Ji Youyan stood in the living room for a long time, looking at Jingxiu's door with mixed feelings. After the great sorrow and joy, she wanted to cry and laugh.

like a child. Ji Yuyan laughed at himself.

She subconsciously took two steps towards Jingxiu's room, and she narrowed her eyes and stopped again. Axiu pretended to be sleeping because she didn't want to face her tonight. Even if she succeeded in her routine, she shouldn't be so happy to slap Axiu in the face now, right

Ji Youyan laughed and turned back to the room thoughtfully.

She returned to the room, shivering from the low temperature in the room, and quickly closed the bay window and turned on the electric heater beside the bed. Then she went into the glass room and poured water into the wash basin, ready to warm her hands.

The water splashed into the washbasin, Ji Youyan dipped his almost unconscious hands in the warm water that had not yet released heat, and gradually lost his mind as he watched the rippling water waves.

Yao Xiao made such a loud noise just now, Axiu, you should have heard it in the room, right

Mingming had just pinched the snowman and tried to apologize for misunderstanding her in the afternoon. At night, she fell into her own habitual thinking again, complaining about herself, and misunderstood Axiu again.

Axiu, what would you think of her

Before the meal, she and Axiu went in together with an umbrella. On the way, Axiu's mood was obviously much calmer than in the afternoon and evening. Why did Axiu suddenly feel bad after eating, and even pretended to sleep and didn't want to see her?

Something must have happened while eating...

Ji You said that she was blessed, and suddenly she no longer wanted to warm her hands. She quickly turned off the faucet, and before she had time to dry her hands, she sat back by the bed, took her phone, and clicked on Jingxiu's WeChat profile picture.

She watched the cursor flickering in the input box, clenched her fingers, and sent a message to Jingxiu, "Axiu, are you asleep?"

As expected, Jingxiu didn't reply to her for two minutes.

Ji Youyan raised his hand and took a deep breath, then lowered his head and continued to send a message to Jingxiu: "Axiu, I apologize to you about Ning Wei this afternoon, I thought I was right."

She mustered up the courage to post one after another as if talking to herself.

"Perhaps it was Ning Wei's cowardice and cowardice that made me think of myself, so I couldn't help but sympathize with her. But you're right, you just indulge in your own emotions and isolate those who care about you from your own emotions. Besides, they are also selfish people.”

"I used to have a lot of words, a lot of things, and a lot of emotions. Like Ning Wei, I couldn't say it. I don't know how to talk to you, I don't know how to explain it to you, and I don't even dare to let you know if I don't want to. ."

"When Chi Dongqing mentioned Guo Wen in the evening, I don't know if you noticed it or not. I was very nervous. Because I don't know, back then, did you know that I once sold a song to Guo Wen. You ask me, which song you think is very similar. The one released by Guo Wen is the version I finally settled on."

Ji Yuyan's throat started to become sore, and his breathing was heavy. It is not an easy task to cut yourself apart for others to see. But she still insisted: "Do you remember? Just a year after my debut, I released two online singles, which were my most satisfying works, but there was no splash. I was disappointed, but also very unwilling. Cao Tianchi didn't want me to sing anymore. He said that the Chinese market was sluggish, and he asked me to act first to gain fame and then sing. I didn't want to. I thought I signed him for singing, not acting. He laughed at me a few times. I still love to dream so much when I am old, I can't recognize the reality, and it makes my works worthless."

Those mean words, for a long time, were the culprit of Ji Yuyan's insomnia at midnight - she fell into infinite self-doubt.

"One day, a music producer approached me, and he said he appreciated my songs, but Cao Tianchi pushed all my collaborations and suspended all my work, so he could only come to me directly. I thought It was an opportunity, full of anticipation, but after seeing my work, this music producer told me that the work was good, but it was a waste in my hands.”

"He wants to buy a song from me on behalf of a very popular singer. He said that in the current market, whether the song is good or not is not only determined by the quality of the work itself, but more importantly, it depends on the song Who wrote the song and who sang it."

"Fame and popularity are more valuable than talent. It's my people who ruined my songs."

Ji Yuyan couldn't speak anymore.

She gritted her teeth and continued typing to Jingxiu: "At first, I was reluctant to sell it. Later, after another single I funded and produced was released, Cao Tianchi once again persuaded me to recognize the reality, and I began to be confused. , I sold the song to Guo Wen, I want to know too much, is it my song that is not good, or this market, this reality is not good."

Ji Yuyan was a little choked up. She still couldn't say it, still couldn't tell Jingxiu frankly, that was only part of the reason why she sold songs.

She couldn't say it. During her time, she had almost no job and no income, and the savings she brought were very few, and her life was stretched. Making music requires money, equipment requires money, rent requires money, food and beverages require money, transportation requires money, and falling in love with Jingxiu requires money...

In love, there were contacts, and Jingxiu never hesitated to spend money on her. How could she have the cheek to keep letting Jingxiu pay for it unilaterally

But she ended up running out of money.

Jingxiu fell ill during the filming of the movie. She was worried about Jingxiu and wanted to take care of her, but after she took out the money for the plane ticket, she left the airport and didn't even have the money to take a taxi to Jingxiu's studio.

How can she say it, Jingxiu, I want to see you, but I have no money, so you have to buy me a plane ticket? Ji Youyan's tears dripped uncontrollably on the screen of her mobile phone. She tried to wipe away the tears, but the tears kept growing.

"But I don't dare to tell you, I'm afraid you think I have no backbone, I'm afraid you will find out that I'm not as good as you think I am. I'm afraid you will be disappointed in me... "

"I told you every song was my child, my pride, my dream, but I ended up selling it."

"I sold my ideals. I dare not tell you." Every word seemed to be dug out of her heart, Ji Youyan curled up her legs, sobbing and panting...

Across the living room, Jingxiu stared at the screen of his phone, biting his lower lip, his eyes were red. She raised her head and tried to force back the tears, but there were still tears that poured out desperately and slid down her cheeks...

How could she not know that Ji Yuyan sold the song. For each of her songs, she rushed to be the first listener and gave her the first applause. As long as she is by Ji Youyan's side, even if Ji Youyan is dissatisfied with the jumbled up scraps, she will pick them out from the trash can one by one and flatten them, and keep them cherished.

But Ji Youyan didn't want to tell her, so why was she willing to embarrass her

There are so many things about her lover that she doesn't want her to know, she can guess, she can't guess. She always comforts herself that one day, Ji Youyan will trust her enough, rely on her, and will tell her everything about her voluntarily.

But in the end, she just waited more and more disappointed.

Jingxiu sniffed and held back the sourness in his heart. She wiped away her tears, went to the glass room to wash her face, and then boiled the water.

The water boiled, and her face could not be seen crying.

Jingxiu finally replied to Ji Youyan: "Come here."

The author has something to say: Then, Teacher Ji fell asleep crying without seeing the news.

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