Within seconds of the video request, Jingxiu accepted it, as if she had been waiting.
In the video, Jingxiu was sitting on the bed with loose hair, wearing pajamas, and was ready to rest after taking a bath.
She looked at the camera, her expression was very calm, under the halo, there was even a little tenderness. Ji Youyan originally had an uneasy heart, but strangely calmed down under her gaze.
"Axiu, have I affected your rest?" Ji Youyan said softly.
"No." Jingxiu said lightly.
Ji Youyan licked his lips and said, "My dad woke up during the call in the afternoon, so I didn't have time to answer your question. I'm afraid that my explanation will deepen your misunderstanding."
"I know." Jingxiu couldn't hear his emotions, "Is uncle okay?"
"It's okay now." Ji Youyan hesitated for a few seconds, then said from his heart: "Axiu, frankly, I still mind that you investigate me privately. However, I sincerely thank you. Thank you for your timely notification. Me. I can't imagine how unbearable and unbearable I would be if I didn't find out about it a long time later."
Jingxiu's eyelashes trembled, "It's my merit to atone for my sins."
"It's not that serious." Ji Youyan reflexively defended Jingxiu. She reflected on herself, "I know it's my fault to get to the bottom of it. If I can take the initiative, you don't have to be so embarrassed."
"No matter what the motive is, I admit that I didn't give you enough respect for this matter." Jingxiu is not someone who refuses to admit his mistakes.
Her thoughtfulness made Ji Yuyan's nose sour. "Okay, we are all wrong in this matter, we are even, let's turn the page, okay?"
Jingxiu looked at her and said nothing.
Ji Youyan reacted that Jingxiu misunderstood her words, and hurriedly explained, "Axiu, what I said was turning the page right and wrong."
She cut to the point of the video call: "Axiu, I don't know how much you have investigated. You should be able to find out that I haven't been home for many years."
Jingxiu sank his eyes and said without concealment, "Well, I found it."
"I found out where your family lives, what your parents' names are, and what occupation you are in. I found out where you grew up, what school you attended, your glorious resume, and you... One grew up together, called Lu Fang. My fiancé." Jingxiu said the last sentence in a hoarse voice. Her hand holding the sheet was slightly harder.
Ji Youyan was shocked, and her first reaction was that there was indeed something wrong with what Jingxiu found. She eagerly denied: "Lu Fang is not my fiancé!"
"The data shows that you are engaged. Everyone around you agrees with it." Jingxiu lowered his eyes, the sadness on his face was obvious.
"That's what they thought, and spread the truth." Ji Youyan was anxious and panicked, "Although Lu Fang and I have known each other for many years, we have really talked about marriage, but I have never really dated him, let alone actually engaged. Pass."
Jingxiu raised his eyes and stared at her, a gesture of listening, with a hint of anticipation.
Ji Yuyan had a painful look on his face. Her eyes fell on the whole wall of awards, and she organized a language to explain herself: "Axiu, as you found out, I was born in a traditional and conservative family, and my parents were university teachers. Since I was a child, they The expectation for me is that I hope to grow up to be a well-informed lady. When I grow up, I will inherit the family tradition, marry a man of the right family and good looks, and live a normal and stable life. Lu Fang is the one my parents pictured. The right man."
Jingxiu's brows furrowed following her story, vaguely distressed.
Ji Youyan retracted his gaze, looked at Jingxiu, and laughed at himself: "Axiu, not all parents in this world will be like your parents, open-minded and gentle, and respect their children's wishes."
"Because of our parents, Lu Fang and I have known each other since childhood, and we almost grew up together. He took care of me like a brother. When I was a child, my parents sent me to learn piano and art in order to cultivate my temperament. I resisted, and in the end, I really fell in love with music and enjoyed it. However, since junior high school, when there was pressure to go to school, my father stopped my extracurricular activities. At that time, it might be a rebellious period, and the more he would not let me do anything , the more I want to do. So I always go out with other classmates to practice piano and sketch. For more free time, Lu Fang acts as my shield. He helps me cover and tricks my dad into taking the lead. I go to self-study, and then go out to play with me."
"I have always regarded him as a brother, and never thought about it. But since high school, some people would coax me to be with him. At first, he would explain to me nervously, and later in college, he became By default, I began to know what he meant. But maybe it was because I declared to him very early that I only had a brother-sister relationship with him, so he never confessed, but just took care of me in a measured way, so that I didn't The method should be clearly and thoroughly explained to him. When the university was about to graduate, the misunderstanding that Lu Fang and I were in a relationship spread to the ears of both parents. My mother asked me directly. I denied it, but they It seems that I don't really believe it, I just don't dare to admit it because I didn't obey their request not to be in a relationship before graduating from college."
"Look, it's ridiculous, I don't know when it started, it seems that my parents and I can't communicate on the same channel. Most of the time, we don't communicate. Once we communicate, it's easy to treat the truth as a lie, and a lie as the truth. "
Her parents took the truth as a lie, and she took all the lies her parents said. So in the last life, they never saw each other again.
Tears fell silently on Ji Youyan's face, and Jingxiu's heart felt as if something was grabbing it.
"Every family has its own different form, it's not funny at all." Jingxiu comforted her softly.
Ji Youyan stroked Jingxiu's gentle face on the screen, touched her tears and continued: "In the year I was a graduate student, Lu Fang was going to study abroad. I don't know how the parents of the two parties negotiated, and I don't know what happened to Lu Fang. I told my parents and they decided to get me and Lu Fang engaged. When they asked my opinion, I immediately exploded. It was the first time I had argued with my parents so loudly. But I couldn't win them. They Everyone asks me, what am I dissatisfied with Lu Fang? Lu Fang likes me so much, what's not good about Lu Fang? Everything is good, but I don't like it. But to them, liking is a phantom. And childish words, do not constitute a reason at all."
"Axiu, do you know? In fact, I am a very weak person. I have been used to being restrained since I was a child, and even struggling is like a symbol. I can't break free, so I habitually want to find some comfort for myself, When I can't convince others, I habitually convince myself. I convince myself that in fact, everyone is not united because of love. Maybe it doesn't really matter if they like it or not. The previous generation of them can come here. , No, it's fine, I should be fine. Or maybe, I may still fall in love with Lu Fang. So I compromised and agreed to get engaged."
Jingxiu's heart twisted into a twist, biting his lower lip.
Ji Youyan saw her sadness, and reluctantly made a joke to amuse Jingxiu: "It seems to be completely nonsense now. After all, you see, I am bent into a paper clip."
Unfortunately, none of them laughed. Jingxiu watched her laugh more ugly than crying, and the tears that had been swirling in her eyes also fell, she raised her hand and wiped them away quickly.
"However, before I got engaged, I went to the hospital to visit a friend. She was a good friend of the off-campus music club I joined in college. She suddenly became seriously ill and her time was running out. In fact, I had broken with her for a long time. Because during the time when I joined the club, I did a lot of things that my parents thought was outrageous, including skipping classes to participate in singer competitions, and staying at night to play music. These friends, in the eyes of my parents, were the ones who brought me bad because of my lack of business. At that time It was a critical period to obtain the qualification for postgraduate research, so my father explicitly forbade me not to be allowed to mix in it any more. I couldn’t compete with my parents, so I really cowardly stayed away from them.”
Every time she said that she was "cowardly", it was like a knife was gouged out in her heart, and it was like a knife in Jingxiu's heart.
"The day I went to visit her, she asked me to sing her a song. She said that she hadn't heard me sing for a long time. When she was unhappy before, when she heard my song, she would forget everything, my song. , has the miraculous effect of healing people. Before leaving, she asked me a question, she said, life is very long and very short, are you really willing to live like this obediently all the time? "Yo Yan, I think you , very special, unfortunately. Ji Youyan remembered his friend's pale face and regretful tone at that time, and his nose was stuffed as if he was going to be out of breath.
Jingxiu watched her cry, and followed her silently with tears streaming down her face.
"Shortly after saying this, she died. I went to see her off, and a friend from the club gave me a guitar, saying that she had left it for me. I carried the guitar back home, and my father saw The guitar just remembered my skipping class before, and his face suddenly darkened. It's like a rainy day again, and I suddenly feel very boring. "
"It's so tiring to be their ideal daughter. They never take my complacency for granted. If I die like that friend tomorrow, what will I have in all my years of living to prove that I am who I am? Myself, have I really lived? That night I couldn’t sleep until dawn, and I kept asking myself this question, and the more I thought about it, the more frightened I became. I found that I seemed to be unable to find myself.”
"Before I got engaged, I made up my mind that I didn't want to be their ideal daughter, I wanted to live the life I wanted. I communicated with them, we broke up, and finally, I was kicked out of the house and cut off the relationship. It's the ending." Ji Youyan looked directly at Jingxiu, and said with difficulty and sincerity: "So, Lu Fang and I really have nothing. Axiu, you believe me."
Jingxiu reached out and wiped Ji Yuyan's tears on the screen, but she could only watch the drops of water on the screen more and more. It was her own tears.
"I believe in you." Jingxiu raised his head to stop his tears and replied hoarsely. "Yanyan, I've always been willing to choose to believe you, and I've always been willing to understand and understand you. It's just that you never gave me such a chance before. You didn't tell me anything, and I didn't know anything."
She has always believed that understanding a person, including understanding her family and her past, can only be truly understood if you truly understand it. But Ji Youyan has always been like a cloud of fog that she can see but can't see through. Ji Youyan's deception had overdrawn her understanding and trust. When her insecurities overwhelmed everything, she couldn't find the confidence to continue to convince herself to believe unconditionally.
Ji Youyan took a breath and said, "Axiu, I apologize to you. I'm sorry, in the past few years, I have been vague and have not confessed to you. I didn't know that you cared so much."
When Jingxiu heard the words, she breathed a little deeper. She was silent for a few seconds and asked Ji Youyan softly, "Yanyan, do you really know that I don't mind?"
Straight to the heart, Ji Yuyan's heartbeat seemed to stop for a beat. She found that she was covering up and justifying herself again unconsciously. No, she actually knew? She just ignored it on purpose, she pretended to be numb, it wasn't important, Jingxiu didn't mind, let herself feel better. Then after a long time, it seems to be true.
"sorry… "
"You know, what I want is never your sorry." Jingxiu looked at her gently and sadly: "When I first learned about your past and my parents, I was very distressed; when I first learned about Lu Fang's existence, I Very hurt." Her tears fell on the camera, burning Ji Yuyan's heart.
"There was a moment when I suddenly didn't know if I had ever really entered your heart. I feel as if I never really opened your heart defenses or was really accepted by you from beginning to end."
Ji Youyan really wanted to hug Jingxiu. Jingxiu's grievances, Jingxiu's tears broke her heart. But she couldn't.
She could only explain in haste: "Axiu, I didn't do it on purpose. At the beginning, I didn't tell you because I took a gamble. I remember when my father drove me out, he scolded me for humiliating me and asked me to Never mention their words. Later, I didn't dare to mention it because..." She choked: "It's because the more I like you, the more I know your bravery and the happiness of your family, the more uneasy I feel, the more I think about it. Hide everything that is not beautiful and unbearable in me. I began to doubt that I have anything that you like, and I am afraid that if you find out that I am not good enough, it may become the beginning of you no longer like me ,I… "
The more inferior she is, the more proud and glamorous she wants to appear in front of Jingxiu, and the more worthy of Jingxiu she is. It seems like this way, she can trick Jingxiu to like her a little longer. In this case, how should she tell Jingxiu.
She still couldn't speak. She opened her mouth, tears streaming down her face, but she sobbed silently.
Jingxiu bit his lower lip unconsciously, his mouth full of the rust smell of blood.
She was reluctant to embarrass Ji Youyan any more, and interrupted Ji Youyan with a thick nasal voice: "I understand you."
Her fingernails sank into her palm, and she asked Ji Youyan: "Yanyan, I know you are proud and you have strong self-esteem, but don't I?"
Ji Yuyan looked at her blankly. Jingxiu was born like a white swan whose neck should always be held high. Ji Youyan knew her pride and self-esteem better than anyone else.
Jingxiu snorted and said astringently, "Yanyan, it's not easy for me to take the initiative. But before, have I ever been mean to you?"
Ji Youyan didn't know how much courage she mustered up every time she took the initiative, let alone how long it took her to calm down every time she resisted.
Heart to heart. Ji Yu said nothing to her.
"It's not easy for anyone to show one's wounds and expose one's own insecurities. But am I just that other person to you? People who love each other, aren't they the ones who can lick each other's wounds? "Jingxiu asked her.
"I used to watch fans save money and vote for me when they wanted to send me to debut, and I told you in a crash that the reason why I participated in this show was not for my debut, but because my mother did not agree with me in the entertainment industry and let me I'm self-reliant, let's first experience the pressure of this circle and see if I can really bear it. I know that I won't debut, but I still deceived the sincere support of fans. This is something that I still find it hard to say when I think about it. But then you asked me, and I told you. At that time, did you think I was despicable?"
Ji Youyan shook his head: "I never thought of you that much. I just felt sad when I saw you cry at that time."
Jingxiu's eyes twitched, and he asked again, "I told you that time, I used to be uneasy and confused, worrying about gains and losses. Do you feel that I am fragile, humble and embarrassing, destroying my image and destroying your feelings for me?"
Ji Youyan choked his throat and said guiltily, "No, I just want to hug you, and I feel so bad that I want to die."
Jingxiu showed a little smile that made Ji Yuyan sad.
She turned around, put the phone on the back of the bed, stood against the wall, and then straightened her upper body into a kneeling posture.
Ji Youyan saw in the video, Jingxiu's slender fingers were intertwined on the hem of her pajamas, and then, when she stretched her waist and spread her forearms lightly, the pajamas were lifted.
Jingxiu's flat and firm belly, waist that is not full of grip, and a beautiful and holy body appeared in Ji Yuyan's line of sight.
With a large breast and a slender waist, delicate and lustrous, and flawless white jade, Ji Youyan was dazed when she first saw Jingxiu's body hidden under her clothes. In addition to being amazed at the Creator's preference, she was amazed. But now, she saw that Jingxiu's body and skin were as perfect as before, but it seemed that the white jade had shattered with a crack, and there was a hideous scar, which snaked from Jingxiu's waist to under the bra. hidden in it.
Destroys all beauty.
The huge pain hit, Ji Yuyan's tears welled up in his eyes.
This was the first time she saw Jingxiu's scar after her injury. The beauty-loving girl who used to leave small fine scars on her fingers, how did she accept this imperfect scar on her body
Jingxiu stared at Ji Youyan's demeanor, the hands hanging on both sides of his body, his fingertips trembled unconsciously.
Her expression, so perturbed and so calm, is that she has completely surrendered herself, regardless of Ji You's words of trust.
She asked Ji Youyan: "Ugly? I think it's very ugly. I don't dare to look closely every time I take a shower."
Ji Yuyan's heart ached as if a hundred holes had been broken, and blood was dripping. She couldn't imagine how much pain Jingxiu had ever felt. She shook her head and said back to Jingxiu with a trembling voice: "Not ugly, not ugly at all." With tears in her eyes, she couldn't help lowering her head, kissing the screen with a pious gesture, as if she could kiss Jingxiu's body, Soothe her scar.
Jingxiu only saw Ji Youyan approaching the camera, and then...
Screen goes black...
"Axiu, I hurt so much..." She heard Ji Youyan's whimper.
My heart suddenly softened.
"You look up." Jingxiu regained his reason and stopped Ji Youyan.
Ji Youyan raised her head obediently, tears hanging from her eyelashes, innocent and helpless.
"There are germs, go wash." Jingxiu was moved and amused, but Ji Youyan temporarily blocked the words he was about to say later.
What a silly and cute person.
The author has something to say: Ji Wangwang is innocent: cuteness is not my fault.