Fu Shitian felt that there was still something filling his head. All the sounds seemed to be separated by a layer and could not be heard clearly, yet they were indeed ringing.
"What do you mean..." Her voice was so light that it was blown away by the wind.
Fu Jiantao felt bad too, he understood her disbelief. He had quit smoking for a long time, but these days, he often touched the pocket on his chest where he usually kept cigarettes.
He subconsciously raised his hand to touch the cigarette, but only touched an empty chest pocket. "She has been complaining of stomach pain for two years. It has not stopped in the past two years. It is difficult to do gastroscopy because of her age. I took her to do a barium meal once, and the doctor said there was nothing wrong, so I took her home, thinking that she was fine. This time it was not a stroke, and the hospital did more tests. I don't know what they were checking. After checking again and again, they found the uterus. They said that the B-ultrasound showed a fist-sized mass inside, but they didn't open it, so they couldn't say. But there are a few in the liver. It's a serious disease, it should be close to **."
Fu Shitian was so quiet that she seemed to be non-existent. She had a very unreal feeling, which made her feel calm and confused.
The car moved forward about ten meters before she spoke again: "Can the operation still be performed?"
Fu Jiantao seemed to be distracted as well, and the car slowed down. He said, "Hmm?" and drove several meters forward before answering, "The county hospital asked us to take the patient to the city hospital, but they couldn't do anything. The acquaintance that your cousin's husband found looked at the X-ray and said it was too late, the disease had spread to the liver. At her age, she would lose both her money and her life if she had surgery. It's unclear whether your grandmother can get on the operating table given her current condition."
"Is this the only way?" Fu Shitian felt confused.
Fu Jiantao didn't say anything.
Ten seconds later, he suddenly stopped the car on the side of the road, and his whole body was motionless. Amid the sound of cars speeding by, Fu Shitian heard him say in a hoarse and low voice, as if he were hallucinating, "I am incompetent."
His broad shoulders trembled almost imperceptibly.
Fu Shitian had never heard Fu Jiantao speak in such a voice. His voice changed due to suppression.
Her nose suddenly felt sore, and the real pain finally penetrated her body, attacking every part of her body. She wanted to say something to comfort him, but he quickly moved again, grabbing the handlebars to start the car.
The old motorcycle made a hoarse roar, but the wheels did not move. Fu Jiantao had no choice but to put one foot on the ground and the other on the starter of the motorcycle, stand up, and kick down hard. Up and down, up and down, again and again, he kicked harder and harder, but felt weaker and weaker, until he was out of breath.
Fu Shitian looked at his clumsy and labored back, then his breathing became heavy and his eyes reddened.
"Forget it, let's just walk over there." He gave up.
Fu Shitian responded: "Okay."
She couldn't say anything else. Words were too pale.
She looked at the bright street lights ahead, and felt as if they had fallen into the edge of the world. In this night, in this world, everyone was colorful, except for them, who were walking in the black and white that could not be illuminated by the lights, one foot deep and one foot shallow.
They arrived at the hospital in silence. In the elevator, Fu Jiantao told her, "Don't tell your grandma about her illness yet. She can't get excited anymore. Your aunt and I plan to take her X-rays to the city in a couple of days to have another look."
Fu Shitian agreed: "Okay."
She calmed herself down, put on a well-behaved expression, and came to the old man's ward.
The ward was a double room. The patient in the other bed was not there. The old man was lying on the bed watching TV, and Wang Meifen was sitting on the folding bed playing with her mobile phone.
Wang Meifen saw Fu Shitian first and greeted her: "Hey, you're back. Have you eaten yet?"
Fu Shitian answered softly, "Not yet." Then, she looked at the old woman and walked in with concern, "Grandma, how are you?"
The old man looked much thinner, his originally high cheekbones became even higher, his eye sockets sunken, and his face became even more sharp. But he was still in good spirits, speaking in a loud voice, and glaring at her with his eyes: "I thought you would only come back to attend my funeral after I died."
Fu Shitian paused for a moment, unable to speak. The warmth and love he had felt for her serious illness instantly cooled. His emotions fell back into the cold reality.
"Mom!" Fu Jiantao dragged a stool out from under the bed and handed it to Fu Shitian, saying disapprovingly, "The child is busy with exams, and he came back as soon as he heard about it."
Fu Shitian clutched his trouser legs with both hands, neither sitting down nor making any explanation.
The old man looked her up and down, and then he thought of something and said in a softer tone, "Sit down. Have you eaten?"
Wang Meifen had already asked this question. Fu Shitian shook his head gently again.
The old woman didn't really care about her answer. She followed her own thoughts and continued, "I'm fine. Your uncle said I'll be fine in a few days and can get out of bed. It's just that my blood vessels are blocked. Isn't it?" She glanced at the IV bag hanging on the bedside, "It's to clear my blood vessels."
Fu Shitian felt a little uncomfortable when she saw her clueless expression. She pinched her fingertips and replied calmly, "That's good."
The old man asked: "Your uncle said your father will be back soon."
Fu Shitian's blood froze. "Yeah."
"Hey, finally, my old bones have made it to this point." She was relieved at first, then she took Fu Shitian's hand, patted her hand lightly, and said earnestly: "You are so old now, and you have read more books than anyone else. Do you remember all the principles I told you before?"
Fu Shitian dug his nails deep into his palm, and he resisted the urge to pull his hand away from the old man. Although his fingertips were so hot and dry, Fu Shitian felt as if he was being held down by a cold, slippery, spitting snake.
She responded perfunctorily: "Yeah."
The old man continued to talk to himself, "Your father suffered for most of his life, and now that he is out, it can be said that the hardship has finally come to an end. When he is out, you will also graduate, and you and your daughter can live a good life. You young people are busy and need to work hard. If you are more capable, find a good job, find a good partner, and give birth to a big fat boy in the future, he will just take care of the child for you and your wife, so you can relax and he can enjoy some blessings in the future, right?"
Fu Shitian wanted to retort, but when he looked at the needle marks on the back of her hand, he swallowed it back and nodded absentmindedly.
She vaguely heard Wang Meifen ask Fu Jiantao on the balcony: "Did you say that?"
Fu Jiantao said: "No."
Wang Meifen scolded him: "It's useless."
Fu Shitian was distracted. What were they talking about
The old woman was still chattering, talking about the hardships Fu Jianze had gone through over the years, asking Fu Shitian to be filial to her in the future, and asking her to find a reliable, filial partner who would not despise her father. She kept talking and urging them to get married, saying that she had heard people introduce several people to her, and asked her to find time to go and see them.
Fu Shitian took deep breaths repeatedly, trying to refuse, and trying to let it go in one ear and out the other.
Just when Fu Shitian was about to sit there for a while, Wang Meifen came in and said, "Mom, Tiantian hasn't had dinner yet. It's getting late. I'll take her back to eat something and bring her here tomorrow. Is that okay?"
The old man frowned, as if he hadn't said it, and was a little reluctant. "Then you can come over later and take over your uncle's shift at night. Your uncle is such a grown man, and I feel bad for him just to see him lying in that bed."
Fu Shitian was already numb. He nodded, said nothing, and went downstairs with Wang Meifen.
Wang Meifen borrowed an electric bike and took her back. On the way, he asked her random questions about her life.
Fu Shitian said it was okay and that he would graduate soon and could look for an internship next semester.
Wang Meifen asked casually, "Is the boy who came to see you during the Chinese New Year still with you?"
Fu Shitian was stunned for a moment, and suddenly she became alert. That boy had never existed, but she knew who Wang Meifen was asking about. She bit her lip and said unnaturally, "No."
Wang Meifen said "Oh", not knowing whether she believed it or not, but she didn't say anything else.
After returning to the old man's home, Fu Shitian asked Wang Meifen to go and have a rest and she could just make a bowl of noodles. Wang Meifen did not agree, but Fu Shitian rarely made her a midnight snack and sat down to eat with her.
Fu Shitian knew that she must have something to say to her. She bit the noodles in small bites, but she couldn't taste anything.
Finally, Wang Meifen spoke: "Tiantian, auntie has something to discuss with you."
Fu Shitian put down his chopsticks and looked at her: "Aunt, you say."
Wang Meifen didn't look at her, her eyes fell on her bowl: "Your uncle told you about your grandma on the way."
"Um."
"Her current condition is very troublesome. Let's not talk about whether she needs surgery or not. The doctor said that even if she recovers well from the stroke, she will only be able to walk a few steps with the help of a cane. She won't be able to take care of herself, and someone must be around to take care of her."
"You know your uncle and I, we can't stay with her all the time. I've endured my boss's scolding these past few days. If I don't go back, I don't have to. Your uncle is even more impossible. Xiaoyu is still in college. If he stops working, our whole family will be left with nothing."
"Aunt, I understand. It's not easy for you either." Fu Shitian lowered his head and said softly.
Wang Meifen sighed, took her hand, and patted it twice: "It's best if you understand. So I discussed with your uncle and hired a nanny for her, 5,000 a month. The money will be split in half between our two families."
Fu Shitian's hand trembled unconsciously.
Wang Meifen held down her hand, stared at her sideways and said, "Aunt and uncle won't take advantage of you. Your uncle and dad both have a share of this. Aunt knows that it's not easy for you. If we had the ability, we would take on all the responsibility. It doesn't matter. But you see your uncle and I, we can't do anything about it."
The chopsticks left deep dents on Fu Shitian's knuckles. She said, "Aunt, I know."
Wang Meifen couldn't tell her emotions, so she hardened her heart and continued, "Your grandma has some private money, but she spent a lot on this treatment. I think your uncle still wants to give her surgery, and we don't know how much the treatment will cost. Uncle and aunt also know that you are still a student, so we won't rush you. She will pay first with her own private money. If it's not enough, your uncle and I will borrow money and find a way to make up for it. You can write an IOU and pay it back when you get your salary. Is that okay with you?"
Can I refuse? No. They really didn't take advantage of her. As a descendant, it's my duty.
Fu Shitian heard himself agree: "Okay."
She also heard something breaking in her heart.
When Wang Meifen heard that she agreed, she was overjoyed and relieved. She patted her hands several times and murmured, "Good child, good child..."
She wanted to get a pen and paper to ask Fu Shitian to sign a document, but seeing Fu Shitian's stunned look, she felt it was too much, so she held back and said to her, "Hey, look at me, eat quickly, the noodles are getting cold."
Fu Shitian forced a smile and lowered his head to sniff.
Wang Meifen made small talk: "Your father will be born soon, so you can do anything by then. Life will get better and better."
Fu Shitian didn't say anything. His mouth was full of bitterness.
Will it be okay? She recalled the raised belt, the ferocious face, the suppressed cry, the pungent smell of medicine, and the spit on her body in her childhood...
I can't eat anymore.
She put down her chopsticks and washed the dishes herself.
Wang Meifen told her that she didn't need to go to the hospital, and she could just go and replace Fu Jiantao. Fu Shitian didn't accept her favor, saying that she would go back to school on Sunday, and they would have to take care of her in the future, so she should be left in the hospital for the next two days.
Wang Meifen felt relieved to hear this, thinking that she still understood the ways of the world, so she let her go.
She drove the electric scooter that Wang Meifen had borrowed back to the hospital.
Fu Jiantao looked at her several times, wanting to say something but stopping himself. Fu Shitian smiled at him, took an apple, and wanted to peel it for him and the old man, but his hand slipped and the fruit knife cut his finger, and blood flowed all over the knife.
The old man scolded her: "Oh, you are so clumsy and can't do anything..."
Fu Jiantao pulled her to the nurses' station.
She kept saying, "No, it's okay." But Fu Jiantao didn't let her do that and stubbornly dragged her to the nurses' station.
While putting on the Band-Aid, he asked, "Did your aunt say anything to you?" Without waiting for Fu Shitian to answer, he continued, "No matter what she said, she doesn't have the final say. Don't think too much. I'll take care of the family affairs. Just focus on your studies. None of this has anything to do with you."
How could it be okay? She knew that he was not the one who could really make the decision. She also knew that he was having a hard time. She didn't say anything, but just looked up at him with a very gentle look and shook her head: "It's okay. Give me some time, I can do it."
Not long after returning to the ward, Fu Jiantao was sent back by the old man.
After helping the old man go to the toilet, the people in the same ward turned off the lights and went to sleep, and the ward fell into darkness.
It was not known whether the old man had difficulty breathing, but his snoring and hissing were strange, like a monster lurking in the darkness.
Fu Shitian stared at the darkness, unable to fall asleep. She wondered if she had entered another bizarre dream. But she knew clearly that this was not a dream.
There is a time to wake up from a dream.
Her reality, her life, her nightmare, she seemed unable to struggle out.
Shi Yi sent her a text message asking her how things were going.
She looked at these few short words for a long time.
She typed word by word: "Fortunately, I'm still in the hospital. I'll tell you in detail when I get home on Sunday."
Shi Yi said: "Okay. Get some rest. Good night."
Fu Shitian said, "Okay, close the doors and windows. Good night. Good interview."
Shi Yi rarely sent a [kiss] emoji.
Fu Shitian stared at this expression, stared at the words on Shi Yi's face, and scrolled down the chat history bit by bit, bit by bit, turning to the time when they first met.
The vision is becoming increasingly blurry.
Tears rolled down her cheeks. She bit her palms tightly, unable to sob.
From the moment she agreed to Wang Meifen, she has been asking herself this question over and over again.
Is there still hope for her life
Was it too selfish to pursue Shi Yi with a hopeful hope from the very beginning
Would it be better for her to break up with Shi Yi
She was so reluctant to think about this, and wanted to have a future with Shi Yi so much. But, she finally had to think about it.
The author has something to say: Big liar!
Woo woo woo, before we broke up, they all asked me when we would break up and urged me to break up quickly. Now that we have broken up, everyone said they don’t want to watch it anymore.
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