My Heart Beats For You

Chapter 146: Chapter 146

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Fu Siyu's expression flashed a little anxiously: "Aren't you afraid of meeting my father?"

Shi Yi tilted his head slightly, with a puzzled look on his face.

Fu Siyu was surprised, raised his eyebrows and asked, "Didn't my sister tell you that she came out to my father a few days ago?"

Shi Yi's smile disappeared instantly, his astonishment was obvious.

Fu Siyu was helpless: "I knew it, but she didn't say it."

Shi Yi's eyebrows wrinkled, and he felt anxious and annoyed, but he still kept his tone steady and said to Fu Shitian, "It should be because I was on a business trip a few days ago. She was afraid that I would be upset, so she didn't tell me yet."

"Is uncle okay? Is your sister... okay?"

Fu Siyu was a little surprised, but then a look of appreciation and relief appeared in his eyes.

"It was a little hard for my dad to accept it. After all, he wasn't mentally prepared at all."

Shi Yi's expression dimmed slightly, and her tone turned deep: "I understand." She looked at Fu Siyu, waiting for her to reveal more details.

Fu Siyu looked at her, but suddenly asked in a very abrupt manner: "Sister Shi, how much do you know about my sister's past?"

After running into Shi Yi eating hotpot at Fu Shitian's apartment that day, she pestered Fu Shitian and asked him a lot of details about their relationship. She knew that Fu Shitian had known Shi Yi since he was very young, that it was Fu Shitian who pursued Shi Yi first, and that it was Fu Shitian who first proposed to break up. She knew how deeply Fu Shitian loved Shi Yi, but she didn't know if Shi Yi knew about it.

After all, her sister has always been someone who does more than she talks.

As expected, Shi Yi said, "Almost everything is known. However, what we know is only a rough idea."

"What about the past few years?"

Shi Yi said: "She said very little, and she just brushed it off lightly."

Fu Siyu sighed, and Shi Yi's heart became heavy. She was not surprised, but just felt very sad. Fu Siyu's sigh contained too much meaning. She didn't know how much suffering she must have suffered in the past few years when she couldn't be with Fu Shitian.

She darkened her eyes, and when she looked up again, she had calmed down. She invited Fu Siyu: "Look, it's almost time for dinner. Have you eaten yet? Is it convenient? Let's have dinner together and chat while we eat?"

Fu Siyu looked back at her with sharp eyes.

Shi Yi looked at her frankly, his eyes expressing inquiry and request without disguising anything, and his eyes were sincere and gentle, neither humble nor arrogant.

Fu Siyu laughed suddenly, and the two of them understood each other tacitly.

"Okay, let's go." Fu Siyu agreed generously.

So the two of them left the office and went to a local cuisine restaurant not far from the financial center, asked for a private room, and had a slow meal and chat.

While waiting for the dishes to be served, Fu Siyu and Shi Yi talked again about how Fu Shitian and Fu Jiantao suddenly came out: "After dinner, we were sitting in the living room and had just finalized the order of cigarettes and alcohol for my wedding banquet. My dad breathed a sigh of relief and suddenly joked, 'Tiantian, everyone asked me after receiving the invitations, 'This is the second child of the Fu family, right? Does she have an older sister who hasn't been decided yet? How do you think I should answer?' My sister forked an apple and handed it to my dad, and suddenly said, 'Uncle, I'm actually dating someone now, and I want to spend my life with her.' My dad's eyes lit up, but before he could be happy, my sister immediately said, 'It's a girl.' My dad's smile immediately froze on his face in a twisted way."

"He was stunned and didn't react for several seconds. I was stunned too. I wasn't prepared at all. You could hear a pin drop in the whole living room."

Shi Yi became nervous after hearing this. She had experienced that kind of torment before. She would never forget it.

Fu Siyu said: "It was hard for my dad to accept it. It was the first time I saw my dad talking to my sister with such an ugly face. He asked, 'Say it again?' My dad's brows were so furrowed that they could kill a fly. I didn't dare to breathe. I leaned half of my body and was ready to jump over and protect my sister at any time. Unexpectedly, my sister's eyes turned red, but she didn't give in at all. She looked at my dad, was silent for a few seconds, and repeated, 'Uncle, I have a girlfriend now. It's a girl. I have liked her since high school. I don't want to hide it from you.'"

"She's fine, I hope to bring her back to meet you one day."

Shi Yi couldn't tell whether she felt more distressed or sad. She used to think that in Fu Shitian's heart, her family might be more important, and even when they reconciled, she still held this view. Even though a large part of the original intention of breaking up was that Fu Shitian didn't want to drag her down, it is undeniable that Fu Shitian gave up on her for his family, his father, his grandmother, and his sister.

She chose Fu Shitian and chose to reconcile, which meant she chose to acquiesce and accept.

She was even prepared to be the lover that Fu Shitian had never known in her family. After all, coming out was not an easy thing, and it couldn't be done in a hurry.

But unexpectedly, Fu Shitian did this for her silently.

Shi Yi couldn't help but be moved.

She took a deep breath and asked, "Uncle... what did you say?" They talked on the phone every day, and Si Tian had never mentioned this to her, which could only mean that this time she failed to come out. She didn't want to make her upset.

As expected, Fu Siyu said, "My dad didn't say anything. He just looked at her for a long time as if he didn't know her, clenched his fists, stood up, went back to his room and slammed the door."

"When my sister went back and said goodbye to him, he didn't respond."

Shi Yi's face looked bad, and Fu Siyu deliberately relaxed his tone to comfort her: "It's okay, I think he has recovered in the past two days, and he has probably digested it almost completely, and he has begun to ask me about you in a roundabout way."

Shi Yi looked at Fu Siyu hesitantly, and Fu Siyu nodded affirmatively at her: "Really. Mainly because my dad knows my sister too well. She looks soft and easy to talk to, but in fact she has her own ideas. Once she has made up her mind, no one can change her mind, let alone the person she has made up her mind about." www.

The waiter brought the meal.

Fu Siyu filled a half bowl of rice and said, as if jokingly but also jealously, "Besides, my dad loves her too much. She has suffered too much in the past few years. My dad is reluctant to make things difficult for her."

When Shi Yi heard the words "suffered too much", he stopped serving the rice.

Fu Siyu smiled slightly and asked, "You know, my sister's household registration is registered in my house, and she grew up with me in my house, right?"

Shi Yi nodded and said "hmm".

Fu Siyu said: "Did my sister tell you that I have a bad relationship with her?"

Shi Yi served himself some rice and explained calmly, "No, your sister never told me. I just guessed it myself."

Fu Siyu chuckled and didn't comment. She could see how much Shi Yi protected Fu Shitian. She didn't care and said affirmatively: "She and I did not have a good relationship for a long time."

"But actually, when she first came to my house, I liked her very much. You know, she is pretty, and has been pretty since she was a child, fair and tender, like a doll, and has a good temper. She plays with me in everything and gives in to me in everything, so I like her very much."

"And then?"

Fu Siyu smiled bitterly, "Not later. Before long, I stopped liking her. Because she lived in my house every day, although she gave in to me in everything, I found that I had to give her half of everything. Half of the bed, half of the clothes, half of the toys, even half of my parents. Because of her, things that originally belonged to me suddenly seemed to no longer belong to me. Dad always spoke softly to her, and mom always pointed at her and said when I was throwing a tantrum, 'If you don't listen, I won't love you anymore. Look how good and obedient your sister is.' Even the kids who often came to my house would circle around her when they were playing games and say, 'I like your sister, I want to play with her.' All of a sudden, she took away everything I had and became my competitor. How could I not hate her?"

"I cried and made a fuss to drive her away, but my parents didn't take my crying seriously. So I had no choice but to bully her. I hoped she couldn't stay and would leave on her own. I also hoped she would make mistakes and get scolded with me. But she never made mistakes, never talked back, and even never fought back. The more I bullied her, the more obedient she became, and the more likable she became, especially to my father, so I hated her more."

"But she is so nice. Even hating her has become something that makes people feel uncomfortable. Even though I bullied her so much, she was still gentle and kind to me. She would still stand up to protect me when I was bullied by my classmates, and would still take the blame for me when I did something bad. She would still buy me the snacks I wanted when I had no pocket money, and she would secretly stay up all night with me to do my summer homework when I couldn't finish it."

"So, I felt that I hated her to death, but at the same time, I felt that she was actually quite nice and innocent, and I shouldn't treat her so badly. But every time I was about to treat her better, she would always make me unhappy again because of her excellence. For example, I got scolded for my poor performance in the final exam, but she insisted on getting first place in the district. A male classmate whom I had secretly liked for a long time said to me, "Your sister is so beautiful, can you give me her QQ number?" So I was like a schizophrenic, wavering between hating her and liking her for many years, until the year of my high school entrance examination."

"Because of the difference of two points, I was relegated to a regular high school. If it weren't for her, I would have just been able to add two points for being an only child. So that year, I hated her to death and took out all my anger on her, saying all the nasty and vicious words I could." She would poke Fu Shitian wherever she could hurt her.

"She held back her tears, but she didn't fight back or say anything back. She just listened silently, and then she started crying."

"My father once beat me because she cried, and she hasn't cried in front of us for many years. But I hated her so much at the time that I didn't pay any attention to it. Instead, I thought she was disgusting and pretending to be pitiful. A long time later, when this incident was over and we were able to talk again, I realized that she treated me differently. She was still very nice to me, but very politely and not sincere at all. I knew that I really hurt her that time and we couldn't go back."

When talking about the past, Fu Siyu's eyes were distant, with a little smile and a little melancholy on the corners of his lips. It was a calm attitude of complete letting go.

Shi Yi frowned, listened quietly, and did not interrupt. The image of the young Fu Shitian, who was living in someone else's house, standing alone with his head down and tears in his eyes, slowly emerged in front of her eyes. Her heart felt like a hole had been torn open.

The food was getting cold, and no one wanted to eat. Fu Siyu continued, "I thought I wouldn't care. If it's not sincere, then it's not sincere. Who cares? But I didn't expect that I cared more than I thought. I was uncomfortable, but I didn't know what to do. She couldn't accept my subtle gestures, and I couldn't do it frankly. So our relationship remained in this abnormal stalemate until the year she was about to graduate from college."

Having said this, her voice finally showed a noticeable fluctuation.

"She and I had an argument over a piece of underwear, and I ran away from home in anger. When I was crossing the road, I had a car accident."

Shi Yi's breathing unconsciously slowed down as her tone of voice sounded, and his eyes revealed surprise.

Fu Siyu laughed at himself: "It's ridiculous, isn't it? Because of a piece of underwear, a leg was exposed."

Shi Yi opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but he didn't know what to say. This was very different from Fu Shitian's understatement of the accident.

It's a coincidence, fate plays tricks on people. Such words are too light in the face of such a bloody reality of life. No matter for Fu Siyu or Fu Sitian.

She stared at Fu Siyu, her throat rolling, her breathing almost disappearing. She suddenly couldn't imagine what Fu Shitian had to face after this.

She is such a soft, kind and unyielding person.

Fu Siyu's eyes also revealed sadness, and his voice lowered: "I was in a coma for a week before I woke up. You can imagine my collapse when I was able to sit up one day, and accidentally touched it, and suddenly found that my legs were gone. The end of the world was just like that." Times have passed, but when talking about it now, the pain is still frightening.

Shi Yi straightened his back and comforted her with his eyes.

Fu Siyu forced a smile to indicate that he was fine, and then continued, "I don't want to live anymore. I hate her like crazy, blame her, and want to skin her alive and drink her blood. I hate her for arguing with me, I hate that she is fine and can stand on her own two legs, I hate that she shouldn't have existed in this world from the beginning to the end and ruined my life."

"So when I saw her, I cried, went crazy, and took everything I could to hit her. When I cried, my mother cried and made a fuss with me. My father couldn't do anything with us, so he had to ask her not to come to the hospital first and go back to her hometown to take care of my grandmother. Later, my grandmother passed away. My injuries kept getting worse. In order to save my other leg, I was transferred to another hospital far away from home. My father was busy selling the house to raise money. My mother couldn't take care of it alone, so she still needed her help, so she came with me. I didn't want to see her, so she never entered the ward. She just stayed in the corridor outside the ward every day. During the day, she helped run around to get food and buy things, and at night, she helped to keep watch. She ate, drank, and slept on the iron stool she had moved out. In the cold winter, I don't know how she got through those days. All of us lived like neither human nor ghost."

Shi Yi's eyes were red and she bit her lower lip tightly with her pearly teeth.

That should have been shortly after they broke up. At that time, my gallstones had not yet healed.

"Later, my injury gradually improved, my left leg was saved, and I had to start rehabilitation training. The training was too painful, and it was too difficult to go out and face other people's stares and accept that I was a disabled person. I couldn't change my mindset, I couldn't accept it, and I couldn't imagine my future life at all. I didn't want to live anymore."

"One day my mother went out to discuss something with the insurance company's claims adjuster, and the other patients in the ward were not there, so I jumped off the bed on one foot and went to the balcony, intending to climb up and jump off. My sister was in the corridor and rushed in. I don't know how she reacted so quickly, she stopped me in the middle."

"I was determined not to live anymore, so I struggled and wrestled with her. She was so thin at that time that she was just a bag of bones. I kicked and hit her so hard that she couldn't even hold me down, as I could barely stand on one leg. We struggled and fell to the ground together. I grabbed her neck. For a moment, I really wanted to strangle her to death so that we could die together."

"She suddenly stopped struggling and just looked at me quietly with sorrow in her eyes. I hesitated and was pulled away by a nurse passing by. When I was helped to stand up, I heard her staring at me, as coldly as if she were a dead person, and said, 'Don't you hate me? If you die, I will be really satisfied. Everything you have will be mine, and your parents will have to rely on me in the future. Do you think I will treat your mother well? If you are willing, then go and die.' In an instant, I was furious and wanted to rush up to hit her, but I was pinned down and couldn't move."

"After that day, I didn't want to die. I was unwilling to accept it. Why should she still be alive and well while I had to rot in the dirt? Not only did I want to live, I also wanted to live well and torture her to death."

"With this thought in mind, I lived on. Not long after, I was discharged from the hospital, she graduated, and her father was released from prison. We no longer lived together, she lived with her father, we didn't see each other often, but every month, she would send money to my mother. I knew that she was doing sales work that was not related to her profession in order to make more money, and I knew that all my treatment costs included a portion of her salary. I didn't want to go to school. I went for psychological rehabilitation every week, but every time I went, I didn't say a word, just sat there quietly and burned money. The money for the first artificial limb I customized was paid by her. But it didn't take long for me to be satisfied, and I wanted to change it for a better one. She didn't say anything, and took me to change it the next month. It didn't take long for me to be satisfied again, and I wanted to change it again. She still listened to me. My father advised me not to make a fuss, saying that it was not easy for my sister. But I had to make a fuss, I just wanted to squeeze her every last drop of blood, to see how long she could continue to be hypocritical."

Shi Yi clenched his back teeth so tightly that his nails had left deep bloody marks on the palms of his hands.

Fu Siyu's voice also became hoarse: "A few months after her father was released from prison, he was diagnosed with advanced liver cancer, and he died not long after. I felt that after her father passed away, she became even less angry, but I didn't think too much about it. Until one day at the end of the year, my father said that the company called him and asked if he could contact my sister. He said that my sister didn't ask for leave, hadn't been to work for two days, and the phone was unreachable. My father panicked, and I scolded him for being nervous, but I was actually panicking too."

"My dad went to the place she rented and pushed the door open to get in. My sister was lying next to the boiling kettle, barely breathing. I don't know how long she had been unconscious. They sent her to emergency and immediately rushed her in for treatment. The doctor said it was shock caused by acute obstruction of cholangitis. They didn't understand how someone could be so patient and how someone could let cholangitis go to this extent. I know. I knew it when I saw the suicide note that my sister had written at some point and put in her wallet, which my dad handed back to me."

Fu Siyu choked up and handed the note that he had kept to Shi Yi.

Shi Yi didn't dare to blink, his eyes were blurred, and he took it with trembling hands.

On the note, Fu Shitian's beautiful handwriting came into view:

sorry

137

Get well, little fish.

Three lines of words, rustling and lazily.

137… Shi Yi, I will love you forever. Six numbers, engraved in my heart.

Fu Siyu said in a hoarse voice: "She simply doesn't want to live anymore. She has wanted to die for who knows how long. She is simply hoping to die just like that."

Shi Yi could no longer maintain his false dignity. His straight waist bent down and the hand holding the note began to tremble violently.

Fu Siyu could see that Shi Yi seemed to be trying to hold back her tears, but they still flowed down her cheeks, completely out of control.

Fu Siyu couldn't stop crying.

She felt relieved.

She had never imagined that this woman who had always been so dignified and almost cold since their first meeting would behave so out of control.

She thought that her sister loved the right person and it was worth it.

She sniffed and said with difficulty, "She was saved that time and had a cholecystectomy. I went there on the day of her surgery. I watched her being pushed out on the operating table, with tubes inserted into her body and weak breathing, as if she would die at any time. Suddenly, I felt very painful and meaningless in my heart. I don't know what's the point of torturing her and myself like this. I used to think that we would fight to the death, but if she really died, I wouldn't really feel happy. Life is too hard. I suffer, and she suffers too. Fortunately, this is our only life anyway. Forget it. I decided to let her go, and let myself go."

"After that, she and I recovered together. We came to Haicheng together, I received rehabilitation training that was more suitable for me, got a new prosthesis, and even got into a new university. Our lives seemed to be back on track. But deep down, my sister never really recovered. I could see that she had never been truly happy for a single day."

She didn't say it directly, but the next year, Fu Shitian was in critical condition due to gastric bleeding and was sent to the emergency room again. It was then that she realized that her sister had never really recovered. She was always looking forward to an accident to give her relief. In the ambulance, like a last will, she said sorry to her weakly, and honestly told her that she had always regretted not shouting out that reminder when the car accident happened. At that moment, Fu Siyu burst into tears. In the face of the turbulence of fate, shouting out or not, what can be changed. How can there be such a fool as Fu Shitian.

She held her hand and told her: "If you get better, I won't blame you. I forgive you as long as you are well. If you die, I will never be well in my life."

It seemed as if she had really untied some of the knot in her heart and found the strength to hold on. She saw a psychologist, took medicine for two years, and her condition started to improve.

"Until I met you again."

"The smile I saw on her face these past few days is the kind I have never seen in these six years. Sister Shi, my sister really loves you very much. She is just too silly and doesn't know how to express it. But you can't blame her. She has never been loved well since she was a child. The person who loved her the most set the worst example for her by leaving and not being a burden. She doesn't know that there are more ways to love someone besides leaving and doing good for her. Six years ago, if she had a better choice, she would never leave you."

“Can you please stop blaming her?”

The words "She has never been loved well since she was a child" pierced Shi Yi's soul again.

"I haven't blamed you for a long time." She replied in a low voice.

Fu Siyu asked: "Then can I safely hand her over to you? You know, she may still act foolishly, may still make you angry and sad, may still not know how to love herself or love you."

Shi Yi said: "I will have a lot of patience."

She choked up, looked at Fu Siyu with eyes sparkling with tears, and said solemnly: "I will love her forever."

During the years of separation, she wanted to escape countless times and told herself countless times that she should love others and love herself more. But now, she just wanted to promise: "As long as she looks back, I will always be behind her."

As long as she needs it.

She was willing to be her ship, her road, her medicine, and her eternal light.

Anything is fine. ,,