"Si Tian, can you get up?" Jian Luhe's voice seemed to come from far away.
There was a sharp pain in the coccyx and spine that spread to every part of his body, and his whole body felt like it was falling apart. For a moment, Fu Shitian even hoped that he could lose all consciousness.
Maybe this will make it feel better.
But my consciousness is so clear, so lucid.
After all, time goes on, and everything is not a nightmare that will disappear just by closing your eyes and opening them again.
"How about calling 120?" an enthusiastic male voice sounded nearby.
Jian Lu and Liu were at a loss and immediately searched their bags for their cell phones.
Fu Shitian strained her throat and uttered a weak voice: "I'm fine..." She blinked hard, blinking away all the moisture in her eyes, and gritted her teeth to support herself to sit up.
Jian Luhe immediately reached out to support her back and helped her sit up slowly.
"Oh my god, your elbow..." Jian Luhe saw clearly that Fu Shitian's right arm was full of scratches, especially the elbow, which was scratched a lot. The blood and flesh were oozing red, mixed with the dirt from the rain, and looked very hideous. "Let's go to the hospital. Do you feel any pain anywhere? How about your head? Did you bump it?"
She looked around anxiously.
Fu Shitian said in a low voice, "It's okay." She raised her hands and folded her arms to cover her slightly wet chest. Jian Luhe reacted quickly, leaned in front of Fu Shitian, and said loudly, "It's okay, it's okay, let's go."
The crowd that was standing there tactfully dispersed. Xia Ke and Jian Luhe nodded slightly in greeting and turned to leave.
Fu Shitian stared at his back, unable to control herself from imagining the scene of Shi Yi standing side by side with him. She had seen this perfect match many times before. In the future, Shi Yi would hold his hand, hug him, and kiss him...
Belongs to him...
It was as if the last breath of air in his chest had been taken away. Fu Shitian couldn't breathe, his chest began to shake rapidly, and his lips turned frighteningly pale.
"Si Tian, Si Tian!" Jian Luhe was scared: "No, let's go to the hospital. Can you go? Otherwise, I'll call Shi Yi and ask her if she's at school. I'll ask her to drive over to take you to the hospital."
As she spoke, she was about to make a call.
Fu Shitian reached out to stop her movements, suppressed his sobs, and refused in an unstable voice: "No, don't... trouble her."
Tears welled up in her eyes again. She tried hard to open her eyes wide, not daring to blink.
Jian Luhe opened his mouth and wanted to say something, but seeing her weak yet determined look, he sighed and compromised.
Fu Shitian stood up, and Jian Luhe wanted to help her up. She forced a smile and shook her head, "It's okay."
She walked just a little slower, and then she walked back to the dormitory like a normal person.
Yin Fanlu was playing games in the dormitory. When she saw Fu Shitian walking in with a pale face and a disheveled appearance, she immediately lost interest and ran to the door to help Fu Shitian: "What's wrong? Why is he like this?"
Before Fu Shitian could speak, Jian Luhe answered for her, "It started raining after our rehearsal, and Shitian slipped and fell directly from the gymnasium steps."
"How could you be so careless? Where did you fall?" Yin Fanlu dragged a chair to the aisle and asked Fu Shitian to sit down.
Fu Shitian was afraid of dirtying her chair cushion, so she just propped up the back of the chair with her hands and comforted her: "It's just a minor skin injury, it's okay." She turned to Jian Luhe and asked: "Luhe, could you please help me get some clothes from my closet? I'm going to take a shower."
Of course Jian Luhe did not refuse.
She took her clothes and went into the bathroom to take a shower as if nothing had happened. The moment the faucet was turned on, tears fell with the water. She leaned against the wall, slowly slid down, curled up her knees, and sobbed uncontrollably.
The sound of running water drowned out everything.
But she still didn't dare to cry out loud.
There was no place in this world that belonged to her, no place that allowed her to cry weakly. Tears only made her more annoying.
While she was taking a shower, she heard the dormitory door creaking and someone coming in and out. When she came out after taking a shower, there were indeed changes in the people in the dormitory.
"Tiantian, are you okay?" Chen Xizhu rushed over with red eyes and nervously checked her around.
Fu Shitian's eyes dimmed slightly, but his heart was still warm, "It's okay, why are you here?"
"Fanlu told me. She is now leaving the school with Luhe to buy you medicine for falls."
Not long after, Jian Luhe and Yin Fanlu came back with the medicine. Fu Shitian thanked them, and Jian Luhe hesitated and said, "The bottle of medicine with Japanese words written on it was delivered by Shi Yi."
Fu Shitian looked at her in surprise.
Jian Luhe explained: "Fan Lu and I were just on the way, and she called me. I told her about your fall. She said she had some medicine at home, so she sent it to the dormitory building."
Fu Shitian's heart sank into the deep sea. Even if she floated up, she would still not see the light of day. She didn't know whether she should be happy or sad. Shi Yi seemed to be willing to care about her, but she was willing to send him to the dormitory, but he still refused to come up to see her.
Did she hate her, or... or was she afraid of her
Why should we give her a little hope after she is completely desperate? Is it because she is in love that she no longer cares
"What does she mean?" Chen Xizhu was instantly annoyed.
Jian Lu and Mo Mingqi were also a little angry: "What do you mean by that? What's the point of sending medicine out of kindness?"
Fu Shitian quickly tried to suppress Chen Xizhu, "Xizhu, don't say that." She thanked Jian Lu and Yin Fanlu, "Thank you and Fanlu for going out so late at night." Her voice was dry, "Thank Shi Yi for me, too."
Jian Luhe said unhappily, "Why should I be your messenger? If you have anything to say, just say it yourself. If you want to thank me, just say it yourself."
Fu Shitian bit his lip and said nothing. Yin Fanlu eased the atmosphere and changed the subject, "Hey, disinfect the broken skin on your hand. I have both iodine and alcohol in my medicine box. Which one do you want?"
"Alcohol."
"Alcohol will hurt more."
"fine."
As expected, from beginning to end, Fu Shitian didn't even complain of pain. Chen Xizhu, on the other hand, was watching with tears in her eyes. Yin Fanlu even laughed at her, "I didn't realize you were such an emotional person."
Chen Xizhu was so embarrassed that she immediately held back her tears.
It was getting late, and Fu Shitian was worried that Chen Xizhu would stay too late to go back to the dormitory alone, so she urged Chen Xizhu to go back as soon as she finished applying the ointment. Before Chen Xizhu went back, she looked at her pale face and was still a little worried: "Don't you really want to go to the hospital? You'll feel more at ease after a checkup."
"No need, it's really okay." Fu Shitian vowed.
However, maybe because he had caught a cold after walking all the way in wet clothes, Fu Shitian started to have a headache, cough and a low-grade fever the next day. The fever lasted for two days, and on the third day it turned into a high fever. He was so dizzy that Chen Xizhu forced him to take a leave to go to the clinic for an IV drip.
In the evening, Shi Yi's elective class this semester was next to the classrooms of Fu Shitian, Yin Fanlu and Jian Lu. Before class, when she passed by Jian Lu and their classroom, she couldn't help but take a look inside.
Jian Luhe and Yin Fanlu sat together, surrounded by many unfamiliar faces.
Shi Yi's eyes turned dark.
She walked into the classroom, feeling restless. The class was almost over, and she didn't even notice whether the teacher called her name.
Fu Shitian had asked for leave for the entire day's classes today. Did he ask for leave tonight as well? She didn't want to know, but she knew it.
Did she fall that badly
A message came in on her phone. It was from another class's league secretary who asked her, "Shi Yi, do you have a channel to get a discount on chartered cars? Can you help introduce one to me? Our class is planning to go on a trip soon."
Yes. She looked for the contact information in her phone's address book, but couldn't find it no matter how hard she looked. Maybe she deleted it last year after using it.
There is a business card, which is in a card holder, which is in the drawer of dormitory 1510.
Suddenly, she became restless.
I want to go back to Dormitory 1510 to get my card wallet. There are actually a lot of important cards in the card wallet, and it is not convenient to use them sometimes.
It wouldn't be a big deal to go back and get it, she convinced herself.
The teacher saw that it was about to rain outside, so he announced the end of get out of class early.
Shi Yi followed the crowd out of the classroom, down the stairs, and toward the sophomore dormitory of the School of Business Administration. His steps became faster and faster, and his mind became more and more confused.
She hated feeling so out of control.
The hot and irritable air before the heavy rain filled her nose. Along the way, she had the idea of stopping countless times, but her feet took her back to dormitory 1510 step by step.
The door of dormitory 1510 was not locked, and Fu Shitian... was indeed in the dormitory.
I'm just taking the card pack. Shi Yi convinced himself again and again. This is necessary. I'll just take it and leave. This is normal.
She pushed open the door. The dormitory was dark, and the electric fan on the roof was spinning in circles. Apart from the noise, the room was dead silent.
Shi Yi's throat tightened and his eyes fell on the upper bunk in front of the floor-to-ceiling window on the balcony.
The bed curtains were partly drawn open, fluttering slightly with the fan, and she could only see a small section of her smooth legs.
Under the moonlight, the knees were faintly blue.
Shi Yi forced herself to look away, pursed her lower lip, and stepped into the dormitory. She unconsciously lightened her breath, walked to her desk in the middle of the dormitory, and reached out to pull the drawer.
Don't look at her, don't care about her, just take it and leave.
But Fu Shitian was so quiet, so quiet that she felt inexplicably scared.
She couldn't help but tilt her head.
In the dim light, Fu Shitian's cheeks were so small, as if she had lost weight. She bent her elbows on her lower abdomen, which was covered with a layer of red scabs. Just by looking at the size of the scabs, one could imagine how painful it must have been when she fell.
Shi Yi felt like something was tugging at his chest.
"Shi Yi..." A soft call suddenly sounded.
Shi Yi's heart began to tremble.
Fu Shitian opened his eyes at some point, and his misty eyes were looking at him tenderly.
Shi Yi didn't know why she was panicking. Almost instinctively, she turned around and wanted to run away.
Fu Shitian flipped over regardless of everything.
Just before she was about to grab the door lock and open the dormitory door, Fu Shitian grabbed her hand. She seemed to have a fever, and his hand was so hot that it seemed to burn into her heart and leave a mark.
Fu Shitian's limbs were weak from the fever, and she was out of breath after walking a few steps. She was barefoot, holding the wall with one hand for strength, and holding Shi Yi's wrist with the other.
It was clenched tightly, as if holding a beautiful dream that would be shattered in an instant.
Are you dreaming
Even in her dreams, she rarely came to see her.
But why didn't she even turn around to look at her in her dreams
"Shi Yi, are you here to see me?" She was so weak that Shi Yi felt sad.
But after the sadness, there is more panic.
She was crazy, what was she doing, why did she come back tonight? And why did she feel so soft-hearted and upset because of Fu Shitian's words
"No." She answered calmly and turned her hand to shake off Fu Shitian's hand.
Fu Shitian was surprisingly strong. "Shi Yi, please don't leave, okay?" She didn't have much strength, so she leaned against the wall, used both hands, and begged her in a crying voice.
"Shi Yi, don't go."
"Don't like him."
Shi Yi knew that if she used a little more force, Fu Shitian would not be able to hold her back.
Obviously, she hated people who pestered her the most. But she couldn't do it to Fu Shitian.
After hesitating for just a second, Fu Shitian took a step forward and tried to hug her entire arm around her wrist.
At the moment when the heat was about to touch her, Shi Yi took a step forward in fear and tried to pull her hand away. With a loud "bang", her forehead hit the door.
The sound was too real, and Fu Shitian's red eyes gradually cleared up.
Not a dream...
She became panicked, "Shi Yi, are you okay?" She supported herself with her weak legs and tried to move forward.
"Don't come over here!" Shi Yi shouted in a tense voice.
Fu Shitian stopped where she was, at a loss. She stared at Shi Yi's beautiful and indifferent back, and sadness welled up in her heart.
She loosened her grip on Shi Yi's hands and asked him softly, "Shi Yi, can I ask you for an answer?"
Shi Yi's released hand fell back to her thigh, feeling empty. She ignored the question and grabbed the door lock to go out. Fu Shitian shouted hoarsely: "Shi Yi, why are you so afraid of me? Do you hate me?"
"Shi Yi... give me an answer, please."
Such humbleness, such low posture. It was like a knife stabbing into Shi Yi's heart. Shi Yi felt so much pain that she opened her lips, unable to say yes or no.
Her mind was too confused to think. How did everything turn out like this? What went wrong
"I don't hate you." She tried to state the facts in an objective tone, "I just can't accept you."
"Remember my dad? I only told you half of it that day."
"I'm disgusted by his cheating. But what's even more disgusting is that the person he cheated with was a man." She still feels like vomiting when she thinks of that scene.
She couldn't accept that her father had never loved her mother, couldn't accept that her father was gay, and maybe... she herself couldn't accept it either.
What about her mother
She couldn't and shouldn't be.
Fu Shitian felt like he was falling into an icy cave.
It seemed like only a second had passed, but it also seemed like a century had passed. She asked Shi Yi: "So, do you think I'm disgusting too?"
If you look at it for one more moment, your eyes will become dirty.
No. She had never thought about it that way. She didn't know how to describe her feelings. She even felt disgusted with herself, but she never felt disgusted with Fu Shitian.
"No," she said, "but you don't have to like me."
This is good for her and Fu Shitian. Let's make it clear that a short pain is worse than a long pain. She hardened her heart and put the knife into Fu Shitian's body and into her own heart.
There was blood on both ends.
She could understand it as: If you like her, she will feel disgusted with her, right
Fu Shitian staggered and held onto the wall, backing away a little bit, leaving a safe distance for Shi Yi.
"I'm... sorry." These few words exhausted all her strength. "I'm sorry for causing you trouble."
For the first time, she felt ashamed of her sexual orientation and sorry for her love. It was as if her soul had been completely pulled out of her body.