Shi Yi could hear Fu Shitian moving away, and she could hear something in her heart being forcibly ripped out. But she could only endure it.
It's all temporary, it will get better over time. She straightened her back and squeezed out a hard voice from her throat, "You haven't done anything wrong to me, so there's no need to say sorry."
In the darkness, Fu Shitian was so quiet that he looked as if he was already dead.
Shi Yi's chest was so stuffy that she couldn't breathe. The padlock she was holding left deep red marks on her palm. There was nothing more to say. So let it be. She rationally opened the door and ordered herself to walk out of it and walk towards the path she should take.
The corridor was filled with bright lights and lively laughter.
Familiar yet strange.
Shi Yi turned around and was about to walk towards the elevator when someone called her, "Shi Yi, let's talk."
She turned her head and found that Chen Xizhu was standing by the door of the stairwell, looking at her. She didn't know when she arrived, and she didn't know if she heard the voices in their dormitory.
She changed direction and followed Chen Xizhu into the stairwell, watching the constantly changing red numbers on the fire elevator.
"What are you talking about?" She looked calm, as usual, composed and elegant.
"Chatting with Si Tian."
Si Tian. Shi Yi thought that Si Tian was now left alone in the dark. "Si Tian has a fever. Take her to the hospital."
Her tone was calm, as if nothing had happened. Chen Xizhu's suppressed anger was instantly ignited. "Shi Yi, can you put away your hypocritical courtesy?! I don't need you to order me around. If you really cared about her, you wouldn't be standing here now."
She came to visit Fu Shitian. When she was about to push the door, she heard Fu Shitian begging Shi Yi not to leave. She felt that she shouldn't eavesdrop on other people's privacy, so she walked away. She anxiously prayed in the hallway that Shi Yi could be kind to Fu Shitian.
At least considering that Si Tian is still sick.
But Shi Yi came out after just two or three minutes.
Shi Yi didn't say anything, just looked at her quietly.
Chen Xizhu clenched his fists and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "Shi Yi, since you can't accept it and you've been so ruthless, why don't you be more ruthless?"
"Stop showing off your extraordinary charm, stop caring about her, and stop giving her any unnecessary fantasies. Let her give up completely, okay?"
"After a long time, she will always figure it out and let it go."
"So you have a chance now, right?" Shi Yi suddenly asked.
Chen Xizhu was stunned for a moment. What kind of question was this? It was inexplicable! "So what if it is?! So what if it isn't?!" The fire in her heart burned even more fiercely, and she spoke without thinking, "You don't like her, but you don't allow others to like her?! You don't like her, but you still want her to like you all the time?! Shi Yi, you think too highly of yourself."
Shi Yi frowned, his expression becoming colder. "I'm nothing special."
"But I don't need you to order me." She said calmly, pressing the down button of the elevator. "This is a matter between me and her."
"What does it have to do with you?"
"Shi Yi!" Chen Xizhu gritted his teeth, "You've gone too far!"
Shi Yi turned his back to her, indifferent. The elevator door opened, and she stepped in without hesitation. "How could you be such a person, you..." A second before the elevator door closed, she heard Chen Xizhu's disappointed accusation.
The elevator went down, empty and quiet. Shi Yi felt like he was falling.
What kind of person am I
She kept her back to the mirrored panels of the elevator, examining herself.
The person in the mirror was tired, gloomy, and confused, like a trapped monster. Even she herself felt strange.
She turned around and didn't want to look anymore, so she reached out and pressed the button for the first floor.
When her fingertip touched the floor button, she felt a sharp pain. She then realized that at some point, the flesh and nail of her index fingertip had separated, revealing a glaring red.
Like the color that Fu Shitian engraved in her heart.
Fu Shitian still took leave on Tuesday.
On Wednesday, Fu Shitian came to class. She seemed to have not recovered from her cold yet, and she would cover her mouth and cough quietly from time to time. The sound was not loud, but Shi Yi was still upset even though he was across half the classroom.
On Thursday, she went to the counselor's office to attend the weekly meeting of class leaders and league secretaries. After the meeting, the counselor left her alone.
"Are you familiar with Fu Shitian from your class?" the counselor asked after taking a sip of tea.
Shi Yi's breathing stagnated, "Not bad."
"It's like this. She came to me two days ago to apply for a dormitory change. I asked her the reason and she said there were rat holes on her bed and it couldn't be lived in. I found it strange. She has been living there for more than a month and she's only saying this now? You shared a dormitory with her before you moved out, right? Is there a problem with her bed?"
It was like a sudden blow to the head. Shi Yi was in a daze, his voice a little dry, "I didn't notice it."
"How about this, then you go and help me find out. If there is no rat hole, see if there is any conflict in their dormitory? Girls are more delicate and sometimes there is bound to be some friction. Changing dormitories is definitely not the best way to solve the problem."
Shi Yi nodded.
She walked out of the counselor's office as if nothing had happened, closed the door, grabbed the door handle, forgot to let go, and stayed there for a long time.
There was no contradiction. She knew without asking why Fu Shitian wanted to change dormitories.
Isn't this the result she wanted—Fu Shitian completely gave up on her, and the chaotic world returned to normal order? But why did she not feel the relief she had imagined
Maybe she just hasn't gotten used to it yet. She found an excuse for herself, tried hard to ignore these feelings, and walked while thinking about how to handle this task.
The simplest way is to ask Jian Luhe, and then Jian Luhe will ask Fu Shitian, and she will tell the counselor whatever Fu Shitian answers. Fu Shitian refuses to say anything, so she tells the counselor that she can't get any answers, and let the counselor figure it out on his own. What happens in the end has nothing to do with her.
Changing dormitories is not the best solution. It has been more than a month since the start of the school year, and it is almost certain that it will be difficult to integrate into the new dormitory. In addition to the three dormitories with incomplete numbers, the other two were randomly formed by the people who were left over when the dormitory was changed. One of the dormitories was occupied by Zhang Lulu, Fu Shitian's former roommate.
Shi Yi was worried. She thought that this worry was not excessive concern, but just her normal principle of dealing with people. She didn't want to affect Fu Shitian's dormitory life in the next three years because of herself.
After finishing her linear algebra homework in the evening, she took out her cell phone and inevitably clicked on Fu Shitian’s profile picture.
The chat history still stopped at the photo she sent to Fu Shitian during the summer vacation when they went to see the super large moon together. In the photo, Fu Shitian was facing the camera, smiling at her with dimples, tenderly and sweetly.
At that time, she still had a little flesh on her cheeks.
Shi Yi suddenly felt a lump in her throat. She hurriedly closed her phone and went to the bathroom to take a shower.
As the cold water poured down, his emotions were repeatedly suppressed, cooled, and washed away. His hands and feet were all wrinkled beyond recognition, and Shi Yi finally let himself go, trembling as he walked out of the water.
She dried herself, blew dry her hair, sat in the bedroom with the lights off, and picked up her phone again.
"The counselor asked me to ask you about your plan to change dormitories." She told Fu Shitian in a businesslike tone, "If you're doing this because of me, then there's no need."
"Whether you live in 1510 or not, I will not stay here anymore."
After sending the message, she stared at the screen for a long time, unable to tell what she felt. It turned out that sending the message did not bring relief, but new torment.
She didn't want to admit it, but she had to admit it. She was looking forward to Fu Shitian's reply.
But the screen turned off automatically.
The network was not disconnected and the phone was not broken. Fu Shitian did not reply to her all night.
Shi Yi knew that Fu Shitian would not reply to her.
The hole in her heart seemed to be getting bigger, emptier, and more painful. There was only a little time left, so she forced herself to stop thinking and feeling, turned off her phone, opened the bedside drawer in the dark, and swallowed a sleeping pill.
After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, she finally fell into complete unconsciousness and had a good sleep that she hadn't had in a long time.
The second day, the third day... the thirteenth day... Fu Shitian's avatar no longer flashed in her list.
Yin Fanlu and Jian Luhe may have seen something and stopped trying to ease their relationship. They always managed to perfectly avoid each other when going to and from get out of class. It was like two intersecting straight lines that briefly intersected, then went further and further away, leaving more and more distance between them, and would never meet again.
Fu Shitian seemed to be doing well. Her presentations often won applause from the whole class, and her name could be seen on the award list on the bulletin board at the entrance of the college from time to time. Chen Xizhu came to see her more often, often waiting for her to finish class at the classroom door so that they could have a meal together. Occasionally, when passing by the sign language exercise rehearsal, she could be seen surrounded by people, smiling cheerfully.
Shi Yi felt that he was living a good life. He went to class, went home, studied, took exams, occasionally visited his mother at his stepfather's house, and went out to have fun with friends. Everything was back on track as he wished.
But when she returned to the suite alone and calmed down, she always heard that there seemed to be a place in her heart that was leaking air, empty and desolate, staring at her darkly, swallowing her up silently, bit by bit.
Even the Starry Sky Instrument couldn't save her.
She never looked up at the starry sky again, and it had been a long time since she had a good night's sleep without sleeping pills.