On the first Saturday of early November, Shi Yi and Jian Lu watched an animated film they had been looking forward to for a long time. They set aside an evening to go to a cinema near Shenda University to watch the movie together.
After the movie was over, Jian Luhe was still not satisfied and kept sharing her thoughts with Shi Yi. Shi Yi listened and would respond to her even if she didn't resonate with them.
On the escalator, Jian Luhe asked, "What do you think the fox demon's words at the end mean? Is it a hint that the big boss is not dead yet? Do you think this is foreshadowing the next part? I saw an interview with the director before, and it seems that he wants to create a series of worlds."
After waiting for several seconds, Shi Yi ignored her. Jian Luhe turned her head and found that Shi Yi was half turned, with his eyes clearly looking at the back downstairs.
"What are you looking at?" Jian Luhe asked curiously.
Shi Yi came back to his senses and frowned unconsciously, "Nothing."
She seemed to see Fu Shitian and Chen Xizhu. Did they come shopping together? Or were they working part-time? Chen Xizhu bought two cones at the dessert stand and gave one to Fu Shitian. Fu Shitian took it with a smile. Even from such a distance, she could feel the intimacy between the two.
The rare cheerful mood disappeared without a trace.
Shi Yi knew that she was becoming more and more unreasonable. She never thought there was anything wrong with girls having a good relationship, but ever since... ever since she found out that Fu Shitian could like girls, she felt something was wrong when she saw Fu Shitian getting close to anyone.
However, what does it have to do with her
Jian Luhe pulled her into the arcade on the third floor to play the dance machine. Shi Yi chose a fast-paced song, forcing herself to concentrate and keep up with the beats, trying to empty her mind with high-intensity body movements.
They were beautiful and danced well, especially Shi Yi, who had a dignified and cold face, but her dancing movements were surprisingly free, with a balance of strength and softness, gentle and handsome, which was particularly eye-catching. A circle of people slowly gathered around them.
Cheers and praises rang out from time to time, but Shi Yi ignored them. She kept moving, and gradually only the arrows on the screen and the rhythm in her ears remained in her mind. When their eyes met, she smiled at Jian Luhe naturally, feeling as if she had found herself again.
After two songs, Jian Luhe said, "I'm tired. Let's do a lighter dance at the end and go play something else."
Shi Yi nodded.
Jian Luhe pointed at the screen and said, "This one, the bunny dance."
Shi Yi was slightly stunned, and her smile faded a lot. The moment the familiar music sounded, she suddenly lost all interest, and her legs and feet felt heavy as if they were filled with lead.
She thought of Fu Shitian again.
That day, when everyone was dancing the bunny dance at the party, she stood behind Fu Shitian and danced with her arm around her shoulders. Fu Shitian turned around to look at her from time to time, and her shy and happy smile seemed to still be in front of her.
Shi Yi felt a surge of despair. For the first time in her life, she felt so helpless and out of control. How could she completely erase Fu Shitian from her mind
Why is her shadow everywhere? Why is the upside-down world now righted, but she is still out of control on the deviated track
She became more and more afraid to think, and more and more afraid to face the true answer from the bottom of her heart.
Two days later, on Monday afternoon, Fang Ruohua greeted Shi Yi and came to her suite with bags to check on her life and improve her meals. She always felt that Shi Yi had lost a lot of weight recently.
When Shi Yi returned home from get out of class, Fang Ruohua had already been there for a long time. She personally helped her clean up the house and cooked a table full of her favorite dishes.
In fact, Shi Yi had lost her appetite recently, but she didn't want to spoil Fang Ruohua's fun, so she forced herself to eat half a bowl of rice and pretended to be happy.
After dinner, Shi Yi had an elective class to attend, and thought Fang Ruohua would go back, but unexpectedly Fang Ruohua said that she would wait for her to come back and stay overnight.
Shi Yi was a little surprised and had a hunch that Fang Ruohua might have something to say to her.
After returning from the elective class in the evening, Fang Ruohua was watching a movie in the audio-visual room with the lights off. She sat elegantly on the sofa, with her feet on the carpet, which was the place where Fu Shitian had sat cross-legged when she and Fu Shitian watched a movie together.
Shi Yi hadn't watched a movie here for a long time. She stood at the door, feeling mixed emotions.
"Are you back?" Fang Ruohua waved at her lovingly, "Do you have any plans? If not, come and sit with us for a while?"
Shi Yi pursed her lips, lowered her eyelashes, and stepped in as if nothing had happened.
"It's been a long time since we've watched a movie together like this." Fang Ruohua sighed. The two of them picked a recent well-received movie and watched it leisurely.
The light on the projection screen flickered, and frames of images flashed before Shi Yi's eyes. Shi Yi seemed to be watching very seriously, but it seemed that he was not taking anything in. He was uneasy.
"Yi Yi." Fang Ruohua leaned on the back of the sofa with her forearm and suddenly said, "I cleaned your bedroom this afternoon."
Shi Yi turned his head to look at her, his dark eyes were as deep as an ancient pond, and his emotions were unclear.
Fang Ruohua sometimes regretted whether she had raised Shi Yi to be too independent and introverted. Would it be easier to live a happier life if one had a lively and outgoing personality
"I saw the medicine bottle in your trash can." She said carefully, "Have you been having trouble sleeping... again?"
After the college entrance examination last year, when Shi Yi first discovered the truth about Shi Yuanmian and her marriage, she couldn't sleep for a long time and refused to see a psychiatrist. Fang Ruohua had no choice but to ask the doctor to prescribe some sleeping pills for her. But after school started, Shi Yi stopped getting the pills through her. After asking her indirectly, Shi Yi also said that she was fine and didn't need it anymore. Why is it happening again now
Shi Yi was silent for two seconds and lied to her: "Sometimes I have trouble sleeping. But not very often. I got the medicine last year and I just happened to finish the last pill yesterday."
Fang Ruohua was skeptical: "Is that so? Then... why couldn't you sleep yesterday? Were you in a bad mood?"
Shi Yi shook his head, "No. Sometimes insomnia just happens by accident. It's okay."
Fang Ruohua looked at her much thinner face and obviously didn't believe it.
She moved closer to Shi Yi, took her hand and put it in her palm, then asked in a slower voice, "Yi Yi, are you really okay?"
Shi Yi nodded calmly.
Fang Ruohua could only guess based on her own feelings: "Yes... did he come to see you again?"
It is obvious who "he" is.
Shi Yi's heart trembled inexplicably, and he denied it: "No."
"So... is it a broken heart?"
Shi Yi's breathing stagnated for a moment, but he quickly pretended to deny it naturally: "No, don't guess. I'm really fine."
Fang Ruohua had no other choice but to sigh, raised her hand and touched her hair, and reminded her: "Try not to rely on drugs. If you encounter something bothering you, you must speak it out. Tell me what you feel uncomfortable about, or tell your friends or people you trust. Many things will make you feel much better if you speak them out."
Fang Ruohua is not a very gentle person, but as her mother, Shi Yi knows that she treats her very gently.
Her throat was choked and her heart felt uncomfortable. She had already felt very sorry for her, and she was afraid that one day, she would feel even more sorry for her.
Fang Ruohua coaxed: "You really don't have anything you want to tell me?"
Shi Yi's eyes became hot and his psychological defenses almost collapsed.
She lowered her head and refused to look at Fang Ruohua. Fang Ruohua did not force her, but just held her hand and stayed with her in silence.
After a long time, Shi Yi suddenly asked her softly: "Mom, if one day I do something that disappoints you, will you forgive me?"
Fang Ruohua was stunned for a moment, and replied subconsciously: "I believe you are a sensible child..."
The tears in Shi Yi's eyes suddenly burst out of her eyes, dripping down her chin onto her chest. What if she wasn't
Fang Ruohua was frightened and tried to wipe her tears in panic.
Shi Yi turned her head and said, "I'm fine." She stood up and wanted to escape from such an embarrassing moment, but Fang Ruohua held her hand tightly, leaned over and hugged her shoulders, and coaxed her softly: "Shi Yi, I'm your mother, what are you worried about in front of me?"
Shi Yi was held in her arms, biting her lip and not saying anything, tears just falling. After she grew up, she only cried in front of others once, the first time was in front of Shi Yuanmian. This was the second time.
She didn't want to cry. But her tears were no longer as obedient as before. Everything was out of control, and she was becoming less and less like herself.
"Shi Yi, in front of your mother, you will always be just a child. You don't need to pretend or act strong. Even if you are a little willful and make more mistakes, it doesn't matter. I am your mother. Even if I am disappointed in you, I will never be really angry with you."
Shi Yi's tears fell harder and harder.
She didn't know what kind of answer she wanted from Fang Ruohua. She also didn't know whether she was aggrieved, afraid, guilty, or desperate.
She hugged Fang Ruohua, crying and trembling silently. It was the first time she cried so helplessly and so vulnerable in front of Fang Ruohua. She cried so hard that Fang Ruohua's heart was broken.
On Wednesday evening, the Shenda Sign Language Gymnastics Competition was held in the Sinan Grand Hall. Participants from 22 colleges of the university gathered together for a fierce competition. The School of Astronomy stood out with the song "The Brightest Heart in the Night Sky" and won the championship. The Business Administration department that Fu Shitian participated in also gained a lot. The soft and strong song "Sonderous Rose" moved people's hearts and won the second place together with the School of Architecture and the School of Education.
After the competition was over, everyone held up the trophy and took photos in front of the stage of Sinan Hall. Chen Xizhu said she was waiting for her at the flower bed opposite. After Fu Shitian left, she walked down the steps of the hall and looked for Chen Xizhu. Suddenly, she caught Shi Yi's eye, who was standing opposite her.
Shi Yi looked at her without turning away.
Fu Shitian's heart seemed to be hit by something, and she almost forgot her movements. Chen Xizhu called her from the side: "Tiantian, here."
Fu Shitian dug his nails into the palm of his hand, forced himself to pretend that he didn't see Shi Yi, turned sideways, and walked towards Chen Xizhu mechanically.
Chen Xizhu ran towards her, took her hand and walked towards the dormitory together. She was very excited watching the competition. "I thought sign language exercise was just about making hand movements, but I didn't expect it could be choreographed in so many ways. It's so beautiful. The idea of the School of Astronomy is simply amazing..."
She was talking non-stop, and Fu Shitian was absent-minded. She was still stuck in the moment when she and Shi Yi looked at each other.
It had been a long time since I had seen Shi Yi's face so clearly. It wasn't an illusion because of the back view, she had indeed lost a lot of weight. There was still an unapproachable coldness between her brows, but apart from that, there seemed to be something more.
Is she unhappy? She doesn't bother her anymore, why is she still so unhappy? Is it because Xia Ke treats her badly that she is unhappy
Fu Shitian felt a familiar dull pain in her chest, but she had gradually learned to breathe normally in such pain.
It's not that painful, I just can't be happy no matter what I do.
Chen Xizhu moved on from the sign language exercise to other topics, and Fu Shitian tried hard to collect his thoughts and keep up with the pace of the conversation. Such excessive attention and speculation was actually an offense to Shi Yi.
"I suddenly remembered, how is the classmate you mentioned before?" Chen Xizhu asked with concern.
Two weeks ago, Fu Shitian told her about a worrying thing. There was a girl in her class, Yang Yue, who she didn't know very well. She would talk to her about her worries every now and then. This was nothing. Even if she wasn't the class psychological counselor, Fu Shitian didn't mind helping students who needed counseling. But the problem was that Yang Yue's psychological problems seemed to be a bit serious, which had gone beyond the scope of ordinary bad moods. During the communication with Fu Shitian, she often revealed the idea that "life is meaningless" and "would I be happier if I died", which made Fu Shitian terrified.
One time, Fu Shitian specially invited her to have dinner and chat together, and accidentally discovered that there were shallow scratches on her wrists under the wrist guards, like the marks made by a razor blade.
Fu Shitian's heart was filled with alarm. As a psychological counselor, she had the responsibility and obligation to truthfully report the psychological conditions of her classmates in the class psychological health report submitted every month. But deep down, she was unwilling to do so. She didn't know if this would be considered as telling tales and betraying Yang Yue's trust in her.
But Yang Yue's situation was indeed very dangerous. If she didn't give any feedback and something really happened, she would regret it for the rest of her life.
She had advised Yang Yue to talk to a psychologist, but Yang Yue was very resistant. She also tried to contact Yang Yue's parents, but one of the contact numbers was invalid, and the other one hung up when she heard it was from Yang Yue's school.
Fu Shitian had no way out and didn't know what to do, so he had to seek advice from Chen Xizhu.
Chen Xizhu told her very seriously: You must report it.
She said that two years before they entered the school, a similar incident had happened in the law school. In order to reduce the impact, the school suppressed the news and kept it a secret. It was also from that year that each college not only strengthened the training of psychological counselors, but also set up psychological weathermen in each dormitory to increase the intensity of investigation and prevent the tragedy from happening again.
Fu Shitian hesitated for a long time, but finally decided to write Yang Yue's situation into the report and submit it.
"I've signed it up." Fu Shitian said sullenly.
Chen Xizhu was relieved: "It's good that it's handed in. The rest is the school's business. We have put an end to it and don't have to worry anymore."
Fu Shitian said insincerely: "Yeah."
In fact, she had never felt at ease for a single day since she handed it in. She felt even more uncomfortable than before. She was afraid that Yang Yue would find out about it and question her, and she was even more afraid of the unknown consequences it would bring. She didn't know if her handing it in would affect a person's life.
This was a weight she couldn't bear.
"Am I really doing the right thing?" After walking a long way, she couldn't help but want to get some affirmation from Chen Xizhu.
Chen Xizhu told her for the nth time: "That's right! Anyone would do the same. There is no better way. You are responsible for her and for yourself."
Fu Shitian once again felt false peace of mind from Chen Xizhu's affirmation.
But this false peace of mind only lasted until the Western Classics class on the third morning, when Yang Yue rushed into the classroom and hysterically slapped her in the face.
The author has something to say: There haven't been any sweet little dramas recently. After all, both the little rabbit and 10e are so sad. If you laugh, it's too much. (I don't know why, I laughed after typing this sentence, covering my face, I confess?﹏?)