Fu Shitian hasn't slept much lately, but she often dreams. She occasionally has the illusion that she can't distinguish between reality and dreams. In reality and dreams, the sky is gloomy, and everything is lifeless and boring.
She pinched herself subconsciously. It hurt, not a dream.
Unable to restrain her emotions, the dead silence in her heart suddenly became turbulent, and ripples spread out. Fu Shitian was anxious to calm down. She stared at the cold statement that Shi Yi had sent her, which she had read over and over again. It hurt her again, and she once again faced the reality. She even felt ashamed and desperate for having expectations without self-awareness.
She didn't know whether she should go back to Shi Yi.
While hesitating, Shi Yi's next words came: "If you haven't slept yet, let's talk. I have something to tell you." Almost the next second, she said, "I'm sorry."
Fu Shitian stared at the screen blankly, his head dull, as if he suddenly couldn't understand the three short words on the screen.
Why did Shi Yi apologize? What did she do to herself? It's not wrong to dislike someone, and it's even more wrong to reject someone.
Fu Shitian bit her lip, her heart drifting in the wind. Her fingertips trembled, and she wanted to click the screen and ask Shi Yi: "Why do you want to apologize?"
But she didn't dare ask.
Shi Yi already has a normal relationship, and no matter what, she will not get the answer she wants. Maybe she is too kind and sees herself as too pitiful, or maybe she has let it go and wants to cut off the last bit of bond with herself...
No matter which possibility it is, it will not make me feel any better than I am now.
The mist suddenly blurred her vision, and the pain flooded uncontrollably. She knew she should sensibly say "It's okay" to put Shi Yi at ease, but she couldn't bear to say it out loud.
Did she really have nothing to do with Shi Yi after she said "It's okay"? From then on, Shi Yi let it go completely. She was just like all the other people she had rejected, ordinary and unremarkable, without leaving any trace, drowned in the long river of her life.
Fu Shitian clutched her chest, tears unconsciously soaking the pillow. With tears in her eyes, she stared at the screen without blinking, and finally convinced herself.
As long as Shi Yi said one more word, explained one more word, she would tell her "it's okay", and from then on, she would pretend that nothing had happened and exit her life cleanly.
But she didn't know that in the dark night, Shi Yi was also waiting for her, waiting for her to reply to her. He didn't even need to reply to her, but just displayed the "typing" status to tell her that she was still willing to care about her, and that her existence and her apologies were not redundant as time passed. She could continue to muster up her courage and tell her all her feelings with a shameless face.
But time passed by, the screen went dark, and never lit up again. When the sun rose, it was time for Fu Shitian to get up, but the screen was still dark.
The little hope that Shi Yi had in her heart was extinguished. Fang Ruohua's footsteps could be heard outside the door. Shi Yi rested her head on her bent knees tiredly, closed her eyes for a moment, got up from the bed, and went to the bathroom to wash up.
His entire face was immersed in the cold water until it was numb from the cold. Shi Yi felt a little better.
After she finished washing up, she went out as if nothing had happened to have breakfast with Fang Ruhua.
That night, around 1 a.m., Shi Yi did not find Fu Shitian's updates on Weibo. He accidentally checked WeChat and found in his circle of friends that Fu Shitian had shared a synchronized check-in for a word-memorizing software more than ten minutes ago.
Shi Yi's eyes darkened, his fingertips hovered over the like button for a long time, and finally he closed his eyes and locked the screen.
There was no flag-raising ceremony on Mondays of biweekly periods, but Shi Yi made an exception and arrived at the classroom early, occupying a seat in the last row in the middle.
Fu Shitian came with Jian Luhe and Yin Fanlu. Jian Luhe went straight to Shi Yi as usual, but Fu Shitian did not choose the empty seats in the second and third rows and went to the front row. Shi Yi did not have the opportunity to look her in the eye. He only saw her small face flashing in front of him, and then there was her silent back.
Shi Yi’s fingertips turned white as he held the pen.
Jian Luhe wiped the table and asked, "Why do you like sitting in the back seat so much recently?"
Shi Yi took a deep breath and said in a low voice, "It's suitable for distraction."
"Ah?" Jian Luhe laughed, "This is an online substitute class. Do you have enough GPA? This is not like you at all."
Shi Yi looked over the heads of people and stared at Fu Shitian's back, absent-minded. She turned her head to say something to Jian Luhe, but after thinking for a while, she opened her notebook and wrote quietly on the paper.
"Have you noticed Si Tian's mood recently?" She pushed the notebook to Jian Luhe.
Jian Luhe shook his head and wrote, "I didn't pay special attention to it, but I could feel that she was not very happy."
"Did you hear her cry?"
"No."
There was a cloud of gloom between Shi Yi's cold eyebrows. Jian Luhe was worried: "What's wrong?"
"She must have suffered from insomnia for a long time. If you have a chance," she paused with her pen and continued writing, "talk to Chen Xizhu about this." The three words "Chen Xizhu" seemed to have been written with great force, the handwriting was deep and the ink was thick and black.
Jian Luhe asked curiously: "How did you know?"
Shi Yi pursed his thin lips into a straight line, lowered his long eyelashes, and said nothing.
Jian Luhe pulled back the notebook and asked again, "You care about her so much, why don't you go by yourself?"
Shi Yi glanced at Jian Luhe sideways with an indifferent look, and his face almost showed a look of disdain as if to say "You talk too much".
Ordinary people might be scared away by her cold face, but Jian Luhe knew her character and knew that she was not really angry, so she was not afraid at all. She snorted and laughed from her nose and continued to ask: "Are you too embarrassed to make peace?"
Shi Yi remained silent, his eyes once again falling on Fu Shitian's beautiful back, neither confirming nor denying.
Not entirely.
Jian Luhe was about to smile, but she held it back and said considerately, "Let me help you."
Shi Yi's heart moved, and he looked at Jian Luhe suspiciously.
Jian Lu raised his eyebrows proudly.
Shi Yi's red lips moved. Reason told her that she should refuse. If Fu Shitian no longer needed her, she should just let it go. But after a while, her brows relaxed slightly, but she smiled lightly, as if she was compromising, but also as if she was helpless. She hesitated to say, "Don't mess around."
Jian Luhe was stunned, and had a very strange feeling in his heart.
Shi Yi was always very reserved, and this was the first time she saw Shi Yi with such an expression. It was as if the goddess had been tainted by the human atmosphere and fallen into the mortal world.
Unconsciously, she sighed in her heart: "Si Tian is too amazing."
She promised Shi Yi: "Don't worry, what can I do? Am I that kind of person?"
Shi Yi smiled faintly, and finally looked somewhat happy.
Jian Luhe said he wanted to help her, and he really took action very quickly.
In the statistics class on Tuesday morning, the teacher assigned the first group assignment of the semester. Seven to eight people formed a group to analyze and compile data from several companies and submit it in the form of a report and PPT. Jian Luhe quickly formed a group and brought in four people from her dormitory, Fu Shitian, Yin Fanlu, Shi Yi, and Lei Yilin.
Everyone was familiar with each other, and Jian Luhe directly divided the work, assigning Fu Shitian and Shi Yi together to be responsible for data collation of one of the modules.
No one had any objection at the moment. Fu Shitian did not answer, but he did not refuse either. Shi Yi quietly breathed a sigh of relief.
In the evening, after taking a shower, she was blowing her hair while staring at Fu Shitian's avatar on the chat list. She wanted to discuss homework with Fu Shitian, but she felt a little homesick.
Lei Yilin's portrait suddenly flickered.
For no apparent reason, Shi Yi's heart sank as he had a bad feeling.
I clicked on it and saw that Lei Yilin said, "10ee, just now Si Tian told me that she wanted to do the analysis of my module. Can I switch? I didn't mind, so I agreed. I took a quick look at our data set and it's quite simple. One of us will analyze and write the report, and the other will make the PPT. Do you think it's okay?"
Shi Yi felt a bitter feeling in his throat and slowly typed "OK" in reply.
She turned off the power, her hand holding the hair dryer fell down weakly, and she sat quietly beside the bed. The silence in the room seemed to make the sound of her broken heart particularly obvious and ridiculous.
After a long time, she turned her head, looked at the rabbit next to the pillow on the bed, and sighed dejectedly.
Forget it. She rubbed her forehead and convinced herself again that Fu Shitian didn't need her anymore, so she shouldn't force it and just let it go.
But every night, she would still involuntarily open Fu Shitian’s small account, follow Fu Shitian’s updates, and accompany her insomnia.
Friday, November 22nd is Shi Yi’s birthday according to the Lunar calendar.
Because she didn't dare to invite Fu Shitian, and didn't want to be rejected by Fu Shitian again, and was worried that if she didn't invite Fu Shitian, Fu Shitian would misunderstand her. Shi Yi gave up all her friends' idea of helping her organize a birthday celebration, and spent it quietly by herself.
It was 11:55 in the middle of the night, and the night was as cold as water. In the audio-visual room, Shi Yi bent one leg and sat on the carpet in front of the sofa. The stars were like the sea, but they did not bring any light to her eyes. She looked up at the starry sky, her beautiful face was even darker than the night.
She felt a vague sense of restlessness and anticipation in her heart.
Her self-esteem told her not to think about it, but she couldn't help it.
One star per second, finally, she counted 300 stars, and it was midnight, and the long period of anxiety was over. The phone screen lit up, the vibration sound continued, and the blessing messages came one after another.
Shi Yi quickly browsed through the names in the blessings in text messages, WeChat, QQ, and class groups, and suddenly felt bored.
Sure enough, there won’t be any more.
She turned off the stargazer and sat in the darkness for a long time in a daze. She smiled bitterly and prepared to get up and go back to her room.
Suddenly, she remembered something and had a last bit of hope. She unconsciously clenched the carpet with one hand and hesitantly opened Fu Shitian's trumpet with the other hand.
Slow down your breathing and swipe right from the homepage to the entire Weibo page.
Total Weibo posts, 206.
In an instant, Shi Yi's gloomy eyes lit up and his heart began to pound.
The author has something to say: The little rabbit made it through one chapter!
Chen Xizhu put his hands on his hips and laughed wildly: Shi Yi, you have come to this day too!
The next second, she looked at the little rabbit in Shi Yi's arms from a distance - it was about to turn red.
Chen Xizhu’s smile froze: Tuji, please make your mother proud!!!
The little rabbit grabbed Shi Yi's clothes at the collar, whimpering, unable to speak.
Shi Yi fouled, woooo ...