My Home is Not a Magical Creature Farm

Chapter 12

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Augusta had a strange dream. What's even weirder is that he knows he is dreaming, because such absurd situation can never appear in reality.

He dreamed that he was standing on a cliff, and a huge full moon hung in the sky, as if he could touch it. Kefir squatted naked on the edge of the cliff, gazing at the moon in a trance, as if he was feeling some kind of mysterious experience of the unity of man and nature with his heart.

"Kefir!" Augusta yelled.

The young werewolf jumped up in surprise, "Your Excellency Augusta!" He turned towards the magician, and the thing between his legs dangled. Augusta looked away in embarrassment.

"Would you like to feel the magic of the moon with me?" Kefir asked enthusiastically.

"Yue... what the hell?!"

Augusta looked down and found that he was not wearing anything!

Calm down, calm down, this is a dream. he told himself. Everything in the dream is not real, nothing to be afraid of, wake up after a while...

Kefir ran over and hugged Augusta.

"What are you doing! Let go! Let me go!" The magician struggled, but he was no match for a strong werewolf. He missed a few spells to stop Kefir from acting recklessly, but at this moment, he couldn't even remember the pronunciation of the spell.

"Please close your eyes, forget yourself, bathe in the moonlight, and feel the attraction of celestial bodies, so that you can reach the realm of our family!"

Who wants to reach the realm of your clan? !

Kefir stretched his neck and let out a long howl at the moon: "Oh—"

Jingle bells—jingle bells—

Augusta sat up abruptly in bed.

The sky was bright outside the window, it was already morning. The doorbell rang non-stop, waking him up from his strange dream. Augusta touched his body. Fortunately, the clothes were still there, but he broke out in a cold sweat, and the pajamas were soaked. He has to thank the person who rang the doorbell, if it wasn't for him, the strange dream would last.

He jumped out of bed, grabbed a coat and put it on, and ran downstairs in three steps at a time, shouting: "Wait a minute, come!"

Is Kefir back? Damn it, why did he choose to come back early in the morning. What to do if someone sees it, there will definitely be weird rumors that make Augusta hard to explain!

He didn't even bother to see who was outside the door through the cat's eyes, and opened the door directly: "Why are you..." The voice behind turned into a sharp "噫~" and disappeared in his throat.

A policeman in uniform stood outside the door. Not far away, a police car was parked in the garden of the mansion, and the red and blue police lights made August dizzy.

What's wrong? he thought in a panic. I've been researching mild and harmless spells lately, so they won't attract the police, will they? But even when I was studying those ancient black magics, I didn't see the police come to ask, what kind of wind is blowing today

"Excuse me, are you... Mr. Archmage Augusta Hollich?" When the word "Archmage" was said, the police officer obviously suppressed his laughter. The slovenly man in pajamas in front of him could not be the legendary archmage.

"... yes, I am."

"Do you know a young man, about six feet tall," the policeman gestured, "with gray highlights, in his twenties, and not quite in the right mind?"

Augusta's heart trembled. He did know a "young guy about six feet tall, in his twenties, with streaked gray hair," but what about "not quite in the right mental state"...

"Uh... Your description sounds a bit like my Kefir... What's wrong with him?"

"He ran naked on the streets of the town this morning, and we have brought him to the police station to control him."

streaking? ! Kefir, don't you go to get close to nature and feel the magic of the moon? Why would you run around town naked? !

Seeing Augusta's unbelievable expression, the police continued: "When he was arrested, he was very emotional and couldn't tell his name and address. Later, some enthusiastic residents provided clues, saying that they had seen him and 'living in The archmage on the hillside' showed up in town together, and I just tried to try my luck."

Augusta suppressed the urge to vomit blood, and said in a calm and natural tone as much as possible: "I think that's Kefir. He's my...a distant relative with a mental illness, and he came to the countryside to recuperate."

The policeman nodded, as if the words "Look at what I said, must be right" were written on his face.

"You are so careless, how can you let a mental patient go out alone!" He stared at Augusta reproachfully.

I don't want to either! Augusta scratched her head, not knowing how to explain this difficult question to the police. "Because he... he has intermittent seizures, and he usually looks normal! He said he was going to go for a walk, but I didn't think much about it. I was negligent!" He made a heartbroken look and changed his past.

"Mr. Master, you have to pay attention in the future! You are his guardian and you have to be responsible to him."

"I got it! I promise this will never happen again in the future!"

"'Naked running in public' is illegal in this county, but because he is mentally ill, he won't be prosecuted. Come with me and go to the bureau to bring him out."

"Okay, okay." Augusta agreed, "Please wait a moment, I will change my clothes."

"Well, then I'll wait for you in the car."

The police return to the police car. Augusta shut the door and let out a growl of annoyance.

"What's the matter, Augusta?" came the unicorn's voice from the kitchen. It must have poked in through the window again. "I saw the police. Have they finally decided to start a New Age witch hunt?"

"Kefir was arrested and taken to the police station, I'll bring him back!"

"Ha, I knew it! Werewolves are not a good thing. Sooner or later they will harm innocent people. I didn't expect my prediction to come true so soon..."

Augusta ran back to the bedroom, hurriedly took off her pajamas, put on a set of serious clothes, combed her hair a few times, and didn't even have time to wash up. Then he went to Kefir's room to find a suit of clothes. Even a police station wouldn't be kind enough to provide a full suit to a streaker.

He went downstairs to go out, and the policeman was sitting in the car playing with his mobile phone. Augusta knocked on the window, and the policeman opened the car door for him.

"Modern communication is really advanced," said the policeman when he sat in the passenger seat. "Look, in just a short while, there was a message about 'Naked Running Man' on Facebook."

Augusta wanted to die.

It takes about fifteen minutes to drive from Augusta's mansion to the Ladier Township Police Station. Along the way, the police were teaching Augusta how to be a qualified guardian and how to treat mental patients correctly. This made Augusta realize for the first time in his life what is called relativity. his profession would intersect with this scientific theory)—it seemed to him that a whole fifteen years had passed! After finally arriving at the destination, the police's lecture came to an end, and Augusta felt a sense of excitement of "being human again".

The law and order in Ladier Town is good, and major cases are rare. Most of the people arrested are drunks wandering the streets, burglars, and townspeople who fight over trivial matters, etc. In this cozy town, many police officers have never arrested a "mentally ill naked man" in their lives. Of course, the lawbreakers in the detention room hadn't seen it either. So when Augusta walked into the small police station, what he saw was a group of "gangsters" gathered in the detention room, pointing and whispering, and Kefir was wrapped in a blanket and curled up in the detention room In one corner, a gloomy and desperate aura lingers all over the body, making people afraid to approach.

A female police officer opened the door of the detention room. Augusta stood at the door and shouted: "Kefir!"

Kefir's body shook, and he turned his head slowly. His face was dirty, stained with dirt, dirt, or both. There were two tear stains under his eyes: "Your Excellency Augusta?"

"Come out!" said the policewoman, "You can go home!"

Kefir whimpered, threw himself at Augusta, and hugged him tightly. "You have finally come to save me, Your Excellency!" The blanket on his body slipped from the sudden movement. The people in the detention room uttered disgusting sounds of "vomit" in unison. The police looked at Augusta sympathetically.

The magician bit the bullet and patted Kefir on the head: "Can you put on your clothes first?"

"Okay..." Kefir sobbed.

Augusta picked up the blanket, put it on Kefir, and gave the werewolf the clothes he brought, and asked him to go to the bathroom to get dressed. Kefir's movements were fairly fast, and he was dressed in less than three minutes. However, the three minutes waiting for him was like hell on earth for Augusta. He was bathed in the attention of everyone in the police station, and his face was so hot that he could fry an egg. The policewoman kindly asked him if he had had breakfast, and when she got a negative answer, she generously offered him her own coffee and a sandwich. Augusta thanked her repeatedly, declined the sandwich, drank some coffee, and wished she could dig a hole leading to hell and never come out again.

Kefir got dressed and walked out of the bathroom. He looked hopeless, as if his soul was no longer in his body. Of course, in the eyes of others, this kind of stupid performance fits the identity of a "mental patient".

"I'll take you back." The policeman who brought Augusta to the police station suggested.

"No, no, we can go back by ourselves."

"You are welcome, there are not many roads anyway."

Augusta couldn't refuse, so he had to agree. So he got into the police car with Kefir. The police were very considerate and chose a road that was sparsely populated, otherwise they would definitely be surrounded by inhumane crowds.

On the way back, the police did not start a long lecture, probably because they were afraid of stimulating the "mental patients". The three people in the car were silent, and the atmosphere was extremely awkward.

Finally, I returned to the mansion on the hillside. Augusta and Kefir got out of the car, bid farewell to the policeman, and watched him go away. After the police car disappeared on the winding road in the forest, the two entered the house. As soon as the door closed, Augusta turned to the werewolf, finally bursting into anger.

"What's the matter with you!" He pointed at Kefir's nose and roared, "Didn't you say you went to the forest to spend the full moon night? Why did you run naked to the town?"

Kefir drooped his head and flattened his mouth: "I don't know... I... I was not conscious when I transformed. When I woke up, I found myself in the town. I want to find a place to hide Get up, but the police will appear immediately..." He cried with a sad face, "I didn't mean it, Mr. Augusta, this kind of thing has never happened before..."

"You've lost all my face! Ah, I should have expected that! I shouldn't have asked you to engage in a 'forest adventure'!"

"I'm sorry, Your Excellency! It's all my fault! You can punish me any way you want!"

"Punish you! Can punishing you save everything! I can't cast a brainwashing spell on the whole town to make them forget what happened!"

"I am really sorry!"

"Thanks to you, this is the first time in my life that I have always been law-abiding in a police car and entered a police station! What a disgrace! I wish I could die!"

"No! Your Excellency!" Kefir knelt down on the ground and hugged Augusta's leg, "Don't think about it! It was my fault! It's all my fault! Hit me, scold me, or drive me away That's fine, but don't make things difficult for yourself!"

"Let me go!" Augusta kicked the werewolf away, "Go into the basement and face the wall to think about it! Don't come out without my permission!"

"Of order, Your Excellency!" Kefir scrambled towards the basement.

From the kitchen came the unicorn's lazy voice: "Are you back, Augusta? I'm hungry!"

"Damn! Go eat grass by yourself!" Augusta was furious.

After a while, he remembered that he hadn't eaten breakfast either.

"Kefir! Get out of the basement and cook for me!"

====================

hollyshire daily news excerpt

"The forest wolf howls, experts rush to the scene; wild animals appear, the police reminds to take precautions" Recently, many residents reported to the police that there were bursts of howling wolves in the nearby forest. The county police and wildlife experts rushed to the scene and found feces and suspicious footprints suspected of wolf dung in the forest. Experts said that in recent years, the local environmental protection measures have been effective, attracting a large number of wild animals, such as migratory birds, but they have never seen wild wolves. Police remind residents: Beware of dangerous wild animals...

"A man running naked on the street turned out to be a mentally ill patient"

Yesterday, a man ran naked on the streets of Ladier Town and was quickly controlled by the police. The man was emotionally agitated and his mental state was extremely abnormal. After enthusiastic residents provided clues, the police found the man's family. It turned out that the man unfortunately suffered from intermittent schizophrenia...

"Crop Circles" Coming to Radire? "

A local resident was surprised to find that a strange pattern appeared on an open grass outside the town of Radire when browsing the Google Reality Map, which was shaped like a male genitalia. Is this a bad joke of nature, or another masterpiece of the "crop circle artist"? …