On Saturday morning, before lunch time, a red Porsche drove out of the thick woods, climbed up the hill along the road, and the destination was the mansion of Augusta Hollich.
Augusta stood at the door with Kefir and the unicorn to welcome the guests, while Quentina was busy with lunch in the kitchen. The unicorn gnawed impatiently at the wild flowers at the door. Kefir looked anxious, as if he was not welcoming friends from Augusta, but the head of state.
"Your Excellency, look at that car!" Kefir pointed to the red Porsche driving far away, "Is that Miss Liliana's car?"
Augusta narrowed her eyes: "Probably."
"... You came here by car." Kefir muttered in a low voice.
"Otherwise, what do you think she's going to drive?"
"Uh... pumpkin carriage?"
"What a mess! Liliana is a witch, not a fairy godmother!" Augusta reprimanded, "Don't say such nonsensical words in front of Liliana later, lest you make me laugh--I'll lose my face!"
"Yes... Your Excellency." Kefir tensed his body.
"However," he muttered again after a few seconds, "it's so rich to drive a Porsche."
"That's rich ass!" The unicorn let go of the poor wild flower and said disdainfully, "Augusta's mount—that is, me—is worth a hundred Porsches! Only poor people who are hungry and cold will drive That kind of broken car!"
"But you can sit on the car wherever you want, and you don't allow people to ride on unicorns..."
The unicorn glared: "Aren't you a werewolf? You have four legs, why do you need a means of transportation?!"
"Enough is enough for the two of you!" Augusta interrupted them, "Stop this schoolboy-level bickering!"
The unicorn shut its mouth obediently. Normally, it would definitely choke on Augusta, but now it has the same hatred as the magician—that ungrateful woman Liliana is here, how can she make her laugh!
"Also, Kefir," Augusta said viciously to the young werewolf, "Let me make it clear to you that I'm just 'pretending to be a couple' with you today to deal with Liliana. If you have any thoughts, you are not allowed to have unreasonable thoughts about me, do you understand!"
"Understood!" Kefir replied loudly. Thanks to Miss Quintina, Augusta reluctantly agrees to let Kefir pretend to be his boyfriend. For him, this is just a play to repel Liliana; but for Kefir, this is the first time he can stand beside Augusta as a "couple", although it is just a pretend, But he was still full of joy, excited for several days, like a large dog who has received a promise to "hang out" from his owner.
The red Porsche drove up the hill and stopped in front of the Augusta mansion. A man and a woman get off at the same time. The man was wearing a suit and leather shoes, wearing a dark red tie. He looked like an elite white-collar worker and a successful person, and he carried a paper bag in his hand. The woman was wearing clothes that made it easy to tell her identity as a witch: a black low-cut dress, a black tulle shawl, a pointed witch hat, and long blue-purple hair. of. When the two stood together, it was like a painting of time and space disorder.
But Augusta is not much better here. Augusta was wearing a dark blue robe with a short cloak, and a magic rune necklace around his neck, wishing he could pin all the medals he had won on his chest. Kefir was wearing a silver-gray suit. The day before yesterday, Augusta called Adele's store and asked her to send all the new men's clothing for this season to choose. The big fat sheep came to the door, how could Adele not agree. She drove a truck over directly, making the mansion look like a new fashion show.
"Ah, Augusta, long time no see!" Miss Witch greeted Augusta loudly, allowing him to politely kiss her on both cheeks.
"I haven't visited you for a long time, do you miss me?"
Augusta smiled coldly: "I don't know if I miss you, but you obviously don't miss me."
The witch pouted. Her lipstick today is the same bright purple as her hair. "Didn't I come here, I know you are awkward."
She took the arm of the man beside her and pulled him forward, "This is my boyfriend, Herbert Gunther. He is an alchemist and works in a pharmaceutical company."
Augusta shook hands with Herbert calmly. Herbert was handsome, personable, always with a smile on his face, the type who would please a woman. Augusta secretly looked at Kefir out of the corner of his eyes. The werewolf had an out-of-the-ordinary expression, but he could be regarded as dignified, not losing to the alchemist.
Miss Witch said to Herbert again: "This is Mr. Augusta Hollich, an archmage as famous as Lord Cavodine of the High Commission."
"Liliana often mentioned you to me. She said you were her best friend." Herbert shook Augusta's hand vigorously.
She never mentioned you to my "best friend". I don't know if it's my problem or yours. Augusta thought displeased.
Liliana pointed to the unicorn that was gnawing on the lawn: "Herbert, you already know the unicorn. It pulls the float at the wedding."
Herbert nodded and raised his hand, as if he wanted to pat the unicorn's neck. The unicorn backed away screaming, "Get away from me, you disgusting couple!"
Augusta frowned: "Unicorn, you are too rude, why are you so rude to the guests!"
So the unicorn replied politely: "You better stay away from me, my saliva can reach quite a distance!"
Herbert hid on the other side of Liliana at a respectful distance: "The character of the unicorn is still so... special."
Liliana covered her mouth: "As the saying goes, 'A thing is like a host', the character of a unicorn is simply an upgraded version of Augusta."
If you say one more word, be careful and I will cast a silence spell on you!
"As for this one," Liliana looked at Kefir for the last time, and gracefully extended a hand to him, "I don't know him yet. Why don't you introduce me, Augusta?"
Kefir took Miss Witch's hand and kissed the back of her fair hand. Kefir doesn't know any noble social etiquette, but he still knows how to kiss a hand. "My name is Kefir, my dear lady, and as you can see, I am a..."
"Werewolf!" Liliana said loudly. "I remember, Augusta. You called me once and told me that Cavodian sent you a werewolf. Is that him?"
"Yes." Augusta approached Kefir. He originally wanted to take Kefir's arm like Liliana and her boyfriend did, but he thought it was too disgusting, so he gave up. "Also, Cavodian has done a good job after all these years. Kefir is my boyfriend now."
Liliana stared round her eyes: "Are you... serious?"
"Do I look like I'm joking?"
"Oh my god... it's unbelievable... You're such a homeboy, yet you can still find a boyfriend?"
"You can find it, why can't I!" Augusta replied angrily.
"You didn't find a fake boyfriend on purpose to compare with me, did you?"
It was actually seen through! But I won't admit defeat so easily! Augusta laughed twice: "Ha, haha, how is it possible! What is there to compare with! Am I that kind of person?"
He winked at Kefir and asked him to speak for himself. Kefir froze for a moment, then nodded knowingly, and put his arm around Augusta's waist. "I have my heart and soul for His Excellency Augusta!" he said firmly.
Augusta stared at him murderously.
Liliana looked at them suspiciously, and helped her pointed witch hat: "I must hear your love story."
"Heh, heh, of course, I'm also very curious about the experience of your acquaintance with Herbert." Augusta was hugged by Kefir, and his skin was covered with goosebumps. He endured the discomfort and squeezed out a A peaceful smile: "Please come in, Liliana, Herbert."
Kefir finally let him go, allowing him to usher the guest in. The unicorn got bored, so he wandered off to eat grass by himself.
It was not lunch time yet, so the four of them sat down in the living room and enjoyed refreshments. Quentina brought them drinks, fruit, and cookies she had baked herself. When Liliana saw her, she held her hand excitedly: "Oh, Miss Quintina, long time no see, you are still so beautiful!"
"What's the matter, I'm already so old, don't praise me."
"By the way, I brought you a present!" Liliana picked up the paper bag they brought from Herbert's lap, and took out a beautifully packaged small jar from it, "This is the sunscreen I brought back from abroad , very useful."
"You are so kind!" Quentina smiled and exchanged greetings with Liliana, and happily left with her gift. Augusta looked wary. Quentina has always been a mother if she has milk. Could it be that Liliana is trying to bribe her with a can of sunscreen
"Augusta, you look so pale. Could it be that seeing me give Quentina a gift, you feel unbalanced again?" Liliana teased, "Don't worry, I brought you a gift too." After that, She took another item out of the paper bag.
I don't know if it is stone or metal, it is heavy and smooth, and it looks like a thick male genitalia. Augusta awkwardly took it from Liliana.
"What is this? A dildo?"
"I'm so rude! This is the Shiva Linga I brought back from India. It's a symbol of God!"
"You mean it's a dildo for reproductive worship?"
"It's Shiva Linga." Liliana said earnestly, "The businessman who sold this thing to me said that it represents the power of creation and can bless mortals with a full house of descendants. Otherwise, there will be a lot of children and grandchildren, so I bought it specially for you. I didn't expect you to have a boyfriend so soon. It must be my pious wish that touched the gods. Augusta, you must enshrine this forest Ga oh."
A vein popped out on Augusta's forehead. "I... thank you!" He suppressed his magic power that was on the verge of boiling, otherwise Linga would definitely be crushed. Why is Quentina's gift sunscreen and mine a dildo? Is there any reason!
"Kefir..." He gritted his teeth, "Send the symbol of this god to the attic for me to confess..." He threw the linga to Kefir. No matter how stupid the werewolf was, he knew that Augusta didn't really want to offer this thing.
He clung to the magician's ear and whispered in a voice that only the two of them could hear: "Don't worry, Your Excellency, I will hide it, so that you can see it and keep it out of your mind!"
Augusta let out a "huh". The werewolf was kind of winking.
Kefir took the linga up to the attic. The attic has not been cleaned yet, and there is a pile of debris. Kefir threw Linga into the pile of debris. But before that, he clasped his hands together and bowed to the "symbol of the gods": "I don't know if there is such a god... I can't care so much! Foreign gods, please bless me and Lord Augusta." Bar!"
The author has something to say: 1. According to the setting, this story takes place in modern England, and people in this world are familiar with magic. The place where Liliana attended the wedding was in India (it was mentioned at the beginning that she was in jet lag), so she brought back Indian souvenirs as gifts.
2. The unicorn ran for an hour and a half from India to the UK. Yes unicorns are faster than jets. Yes it still flies.