"What the hell is this?" Augusta sat at the dining table, holding a knife and fork, suspiciously looking at the lump of "meat" on the plate.
"Fried steak!" Kefir graciously helped him pour the sauce on the steak.
Augusta cut off a piece of meat, picked it up with a fork, and held it up to Kefir's eyes. The meat looked almost raw and bloodshot. "You call this a 'fried' steak? It's totally raw!"
Kefir scratched his head: "I did 'fry' it, according to Miss Quintina's instructions until half-cooked, so you can't call it 'raw' steak, it is 100% 'raw' steak What a difference of fifteen!"
Augusta threw down the fork angrily, and frantically grabbed his hair: "Barbarian! What a barbarian! Still at the stage of drinking blood! As a modern person, I want to eat cooked food!"
The werewolf youth turned the steak on the plate with a fork, wondering what the master was not satisfied with. "But Miss Quintina said..."
"Quintina is a vampire! She doesn't need to be roasted to eat! The more bloodshot she is, the happier she is!"
"I tasted it beforehand, it's not that bad..."
"Because you're a werewolf! You can eat raw meat! But I'm human! Human! Humans are human because they can use fire!"
Kefir immediately picked up the plate: "I understand! I'll redo it now, please wait a moment!" After speaking, he rushed into the kitchen as if flying. Augusta rolled her eyes to the sky and lay down on the dining table. I thought he would be able to relax a bit with an extra servant at home, but I didn't expect the gap between reality and ideal to be so heartbreaking...
Ten minutes later, Kefir came back with a plate. He has a dull expression and slow movements, holding the plate like a six-year-old boy holding his own dead pet, terrified that there is such a thing as death in the world.
"I'm sorry, Lord Augusta..." Kefir sniffled, wanting to cry.
Augusta stared at the scorched black object on the plate, whose shape could not be seen at all. "what is that?!"
"Steak..." Kefir turned his head and whimpered, "I was not careful... I swear I just fried it, I didn't expect it to turn out like this..."
This guy's cooking skills are no better than mine! Thunder and lightning flashed in Augusta's heart. Where is this the consequence of "fried for a while"? Obviously it was thrown into the incinerator and then pulled out from the inside!
"Your Excellency Augusta, I will redo it now..."
"Forget it," the magician held his forehead helplessly, "you can fry an egg to make do with it."
"How can this work! If you eat fried eggs every day, you will have high cholesterol!"
You also know cholesterol! Should I praise you for being so knowledgeable!
"No need." Augusta got up and left the table, "Let me eat some fruit pads."
"Fruit!" Kefir yelled, "How can you only eat fruit, you are so thin, you should eat more protein and sugar!"
"I lost my appetite when I saw your 'Delicacy of Mountains and Seas'!" Augusta glanced at the plate in Kefir's hand with disgust, turned and left the restaurant, and returned to her study to continue her unfinished research, completely ignoring the face of the werewolf youth. Lost expression.
boom!
There was a loud bang that shook the ground, causing Augusta to fall from his chair. He held up a heavy spellbook in front of him, acting as a shield. If he did not live in the new century, but during World War II, he would have thought that the German planes were bombing again.
That loud noise... The magician looked around in surprise. If he heard correctly, it should be from...
"What happened?! Did the kitchen gas pipe explode?!"
He rushed to the kitchen, and sure enough, there was already a mess. Pots and pans fell to the floor, revealing a large hole in the wall, from which one could overlook the lush beauty of the forest in the distance. If you ignore the charred walls and the smoke everywhere, the scenery is quite refreshing!
The young werewolf curled up on the ground, arched his back, and made a standard refuge posture of "preventing the explosion fragments from injuring vital organs". Hearing Augusta's roar, he timidly raised his head, his face was dark and full of smoke and dust, and he looked like an Allied soldier who had just retreated to the trenches from the fierce battle front.
"Your Excellency Augusta..." He looked like he was about to cry, "I was researching cooking methods, and I accidentally ended up... I don't know what happened, the frying pan just... exploded..."
Augusta stared hopelessly at the hole in the wall. Frying pan exploding? This fucking is a miniature version of the Tunguska explosion! Even if he said that the kitchen was hit by a meteorite falling from the sky, no one would doubt it!
"I'm sorry, Your Excellency Augusta, I will take care of it!" Kefir's tone was very guilty.
Augusta was so dizzy that she had to hold onto the wall to keep her feet.
"Carvodine, what kind of hatred do you have against me? Why do you treat me like this..." He blamed all the disasters on his bad friend who was thousands of miles away. Kefir, who really caused the disaster, carefully straightened his upper body. It turned out that he was curled up on the ground just now to protect an object under him.
"Your Excellency Augusta, please try this!" The young werewolf held up a porcelain plate with both hands, with a tragic expression.
In the center of the porcelain plate lay a poorly presented steak, half almost burnt and the other half clearly raw, making it difficult to understand what misfortune had befallen it to make it look like this. But compared to the lump of "coke" that Kefir showed at noon, this is already considered a masterpiece.
Augusta looked back and forth between the steak and the kefir. The porcelain plate was spotless, but Kefir was as dirty as an African refugee.
"I've tried many times, but I still can't reach my ideal state. This is already the best one! Please try it!"
"You... you just... just to protect this?" Augusta felt a strange feeling in his heart. He felt that this was a little funny and a little touched. He had heard the saying in the past, "The food you eat will become part of your body, so cherish the person who gave you the food." Although Kefir's craftsmanship is not very good-well, it is disastrous-but the heart But it is true.
The magician covered his mouth and pretended to cough a few times, but in fact it was to cover his facial expression and prevent himself from laughing uncontrollably. He waved his hand and said to the werewolf youth, "Stand behind me."
"Oh..." Kefir drooped his head and ran behind Augusta dejectedly. The magician stretched out his right hand, spread his five fingers, and recited a rhythmic spell. A silver circle of light spread out from under his feet, like a clear and shallow ripple rippling on the surface of a clear lake. Everything in the kitchen that touches the silver light glows shiny silver on the surface, as if someone has painted them with a new layer of silver paint. The flickering light made Kefir unable to open his eyes. He closed his eyes, feeling the strong light through his eyelids. After a while, he heard Augusta say: "Okay, open your eyes." Then he timidly opened his eyes a slit.
He let out an exclamation of disbelief. The kitchen has been restored! The hole in the wall was gone, the wall was still intact and clean, no cracks could be seen, all the pots and pans that fell on the ground returned to their original places, and the choking smoke and dust permeated everywhere disappeared. It seemed that the disaster he had just caused never happened at all.
"Your Excellency Augusta, this is..." He looked at the magician adoringly. Although he was taller than Augusta, he felt that Augusta was so tall at the moment that he had to look up.
"It's just a recovery technique, it's not a big deal." Augusta said calmly.
"What a magical spell!" This miraculous scene aroused Kefir's curiosity, "Can everything be restored after using it?"
"Well, most of them. Magic items are irreversible."
"Then using this spell, wouldn't you never have to clean the room?!" Kefir said in surprise.
"Theoretically so."
"Then why do you hire Miss Quentina to clean up regularly?"
Augusta snorted coldly. "Why waste magic power when you can do it with money?"
"Can you teach me!" Kefir asked eagerly, "In this way I won't be afraid of breaking things in the future."
"You can learn magic if you want! Besides, I think it's better for you not to learn magic..."
"Why? Do you think I'm too stupid to learn?" Kefir asked dissatisfied.
"No, you can blow up the kitchen even if you cook a meal. Wouldn't it be true to summon a meteorite to flatten my house after learning magic?!" With his hands behind his back, he stared at Kefir like a stern teacher staring at a student , "Besides, you'd better not challenge the food that is more difficult than fried eggs for the time being."
"Oh..." Kefir replied disappointedly.
"I'm going back to my study," Augusta said. After walking two steps, he turned back and took the porcelain plate from the young werewolf's puzzled eyes.
"What are you looking at! I don't want to waste food!" He puffed his cheeks.
Augusta buried his head in his books, as usual, until his stomach rumbled in due course, reminding him that it was dinner time. He left the study and went downstairs. Lights were on in the dining room, and the tables were neatly set, reflecting light off the mahogany surfaces. The cutlery and food have been set up. Your Excellency Augusta's dinner today is...a pot of lackluster vegetable and fruit salad.
The magician who has always loved to study everything doesn't even have the desire to explore the taste of salad at this moment. Salad, he thought, well, let it be, salad is salad, at least it is rich in vitamins and plant fiber, good for health and bowel movement. He looked around without appetite, and found that Kefir was nowhere to be seen. Shouldn't that guy serve his master enthusiastically? What about people
"Kefir?" Augusta called.
"Mmmmm!" A vague voice answered.
The sound was not in the dining room, nor in the kitchen. If Augusta hadn't been so dizzy that he couldn't tell the source of the sound, then the sound should have come from the hallway.
"Kefir!" the magician called the young werewolf's name and rushed to the entrance.
There is a huge box in the entrance, which is the same one that sent Kefir, and there is a roll of wide tape next to it. Through the half-covered lid, Augusta could vaguely see what was in the box.
"Are you in Kefir?" He kicked the box lightly.
"Yes." The box shook, and Kefir's muffled voice came out, "Sorry, sir, I can't stick the tape on the outside, please do it yourself and seal the box."
"Why are you hiding in the box?"
The box was silent. Augusta waited for a while, but there was still no answer from the young werewolf. Shouldn't it be suffocating? he thought anxiously.
He was about to open the lid of the box when suddenly there was a crying sound from inside the box.
"Please send me back, my lord Augusta," said the werewolf youth, "I screwed up. I ruined your kitchen, and you restored it, but I screwed up. You must hate I'm..." He sobbed.
Augusta suddenly felt weak.
"I don't hate you, Kefir." He said in the tone of talking to elementary school students, "Come out."
The box twitched. "You are very angry with me."
"I've calmed down."
"I can't do anything but cause trouble for you. Please send me away, and I won't bother you anymore!"
"I said, I won't send you back."
The box was silent for a while, and asked timidly, "Really?"
"Really. I always walk the talk."
"But I... I'm so useless, I can't even cook a meal... You don't want me to warm the bed..."
You fucking don't talk about warming the bed anymore! Augusta roared in his heart.
"No one is omnipotent from the beginning." He tried to speak in a patient tone, "Everyone needs to learn, step by step. You can stay." He paused, feeling that the last sentence was not appropriate, so he added , "I allow you to stay."
"Aww!"
The box erupted in a cheer. The werewolf youth leaped out of the box like a box-spring clown and threw himself on Augusta. Augusta lost his balance and fell to the ground with a "boom", almost fainting. Kefir was on top of him, wrapping his arms around him tightly.
"Thank you, Your Excellency Augusta! You are really the kindest person I have ever met!" Kefir was so excited that tears filled his eyes, and he stuck out his tongue and licked his face.
Where did Augusta have been subjected to such an attack, and he covered his face in embarrassment to prevent the werewolf youth from dripping on himself.
"Don't lick! It's so dirty! Who did you learn from?! Are you a dog? I told you not to lick! Why the hell are you not wearing clothes!" He couldn't help but curse.
At this moment, there was a sudden sound of keys opening the door. The entrance door opened.
"Sorry, Mr. Augusta, to bother you so late." Quentinna Tingting entered the door coquettishly, "I found that the recipe for kefir yesterday was wrong, it is my personal 'vampire health recipe' , not for humans... Ga?!"
She let out a strange cry.
When the female vampire entered the door, she saw such a scene: Kefir was naked, pressing on Augusta, the magician's clothes were messy, his face was flushed, and he was out of breath, with suspicious transparent body fluid on his cheeks...
"Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you!" Quentina covered her eyes.
"Wait, wait a minute, Quentina!" Augusta reached out to the female vampire, hoping that she could save herself from the werewolf youth.
"Please pretend I haven't been here, Mr. Augusta, you continue." Quentina drifted away.
"Don't go, Quentina! Listen to me, it's not what you think! It's a misunderstanding!"
"No! I don't want to hear it! Let it be a beautiful misunderstanding forever~~~"
Quentina held her face in her hands, screamed selflessly, and ran into the boundless night.