"Just arrived." Fang Ze walked into the house with the date cake and said to Chen Qin, "Your nephew bought you a date cake from a very famous store. He was afraid that it would be scattered in the mail, so he asked me to take it with him. coming."
"Come in." Chen Qin looked at Fang Ze alone, then stepped aside to let Fang Ze in.
"Sister Chen, since you are here at my place, I will take you to eat some of the more famous snacks here in a few days." Fang Ze walked in while talking.
After entering the house, Fang Ze glanced around the house, which was about more than 100 square meters, but did not find the three huskies, Samoyeds and Alaskans raised by Chen Qin.
Chen Qin is a very dog-loving person, which can be seen from the fact that she led her three demolition officers everywhere she went at the resort last time.
Therefore, Fang Ze believed that if Chen Qin came here to live alone, he would definitely lead the three dogs.
But now Fang Ze could see the traces of the three dogs' lives. He could even see the dog bowls, but the three dogs were gone.
"Sister Chen, where is your home's demolition office?" Fang Ze asked.
"Giving it away." Chen Qin replied nonchalantly, as if this was a very normal thing.
"Don't want to raise it anymore?" Fang Ze asked as he put down the jujube cake.
Because he was afraid that Chen Qin wouldn't like meeting strangers, Fang Ze did not ask Lockhart to follow him, but asked him to stay on the bench downstairs and read a book. Anyway, the distance was not more than a hundred meters away. "
"No, because I can't keep him anymore," Chen Qin said, "So I can only give it away?"
No way to raise it
Before Fang Ze could understand Chen Qin's words, he saw Chen Qin reaching for a piece of jujube cake and feeding it into his mouth.
"When did the shop selling jujube mud cakes across the street become famous?" Chen Qin obviously found out where this jujube mud cake came from.
"Maybe it just tastes a bit similar. You know that some of the more famous restaurants now serve food that is no different from ordinary small restaurants." Fang Ze continued to lie.
"Oh." Chen Qin pointed to the bag where Fang Ze packed the jujube cake and asked, "Then why do the two bags have the same store name?"
"Uh." Fang Ze patted his head and remembered that he forgot to change the packaging.
"It's Chen Jian who asked you to come see me. He's afraid that something might happen to me." Chen Qin said and sat on the sofa, then looked at Fang Ze and said, "Tell him, I don't need to worry him anymore in the future."
"You can't think about it, right?" Fang Ze felt that something was wrong with Chen Qin's current state.
"You know, sometimes living is really difficult." Chen Qin said to Fang Ze.
"But if you were not here, your family and friends would be very sad." Fang Ze said quickly.
"If it weren't for them, I might have chosen to leave this world long ago." Chen Qin sat on the sofa and said lightly, "I also want to fall in love, and I also want to work hard to accept this world. But I really can't , eating seems to be a task, breathing is just a habit. The reason why I still work hard to live in this world is just because I don’t want to disappoint the people who love me.”
"After suffering from depression, suffering from depression, for a long time, I thought I was living two completely different lives, one who was always afraid of others. I was afraid that people would see me for who I really was and I'm not what everyone thinks I am: a gentle woman who likes to have pets. I'm actually not perfect. There's a struggle beneath my smile, a darkness beneath my light, and something deeper beneath my personality. pain."
"Some people are afraid that other people won't like them, some people may be afraid of heights, some people may be afraid of death. But for me, a big part of my life is fear of myself. I'm afraid of the truth, I'm afraid of honesty, I'm afraid Vulnerability, this fear made me feel like I was backed into a corner with only one way out.”
Chen Qin slowly said what was in his heart word for word, but this made Fang Ze feel more and more frightened.
Many patients with depression look like normal people on the surface, and some are even very outgoing. But this is not the real self, it is just the appearance they try hard to disguise.
Patients with depression will not easily show their inner selves to others, and they basically will not tell others what is in their hearts.
This is why they live in such pain.
If a depressed patient is willing to share her inner thoughts with others, either her depression has shown signs of improvement, or it means that she really can no longer hold on.
"Chen Qin." Fang Ze shouted suicidal, "Listen, if you feel that your life is really too tiring, you can actually live less hard. You don't have to give others a better impression. . Just like being in the dark, you don’t have to find an exit out of here. If you are too tired, just rest in the dark. This is better than no darkness at all.”
"You and my psychiatrist said pretty much the same thing." Chen Qin suddenly laughed and said.
"Because as outsiders, we can only say this. If we have never suffered from depression, we cannot understand your heart at all."
"Inside? Every patient with depression is a contradictory individual. It's like there are two villains fighting in the mind every day. Only when they are tired can you get a moment of rest." Chen Qin pointed to his head and said .
Fang Ze saw that Chen Qin seemed to be feeling better now, so he continued, "So are you just taking a break right now?"
"No, I'm ready to take a permanent rest." Chen Qin leaned his head back and lay on the sofa in a big shape.
Looking at Chen Qin's current state, Fang Ze felt increasingly uneasy.
She stood up, took steps, turned on Athena's Vision to observe her surroundings, and asked Chen Qin, "Why do you say that."
"Because I'm going to die. I can't stand living like this anymore. If people really have reincarnation, then I hope I can live a good life in my next life."
While Chen Qin was talking, Fang Ze suddenly saw a bottle scattered on the ground.
A green bottle.
Fang Ze knelt down and picked up the bottle. When he saw the label on the outside of the nearly empty bottle, he felt as if he had fallen into an ice cave.
Because this bottle clearly says: Paraquat!
Throwing the bottle on the ground as if he had been bitten by a snake, Fang Ze turned around and looked at Chen Qin, who was still lying there with a smile on his face, and asked in horror, "How much did you drink?"
ps: The heating at home is broken, so I will update two chapters temporarily, and then update two more chapters at 12 o'clock. As compensation, I will continue to update five chapters tomorrow.
(End of chapter)