Sad news: long vacation
I pondered all day, wrote and deleted, and sat in front of the computer all day, but I still couldn't express that feeling.
Plus, I'm about to set sail, and I'm exhausted. I can still force myself to write the transition chapter, but I really can't write this kind of plot chapter.
Let me report to you all.
I am about to participate in a longer summer study activity organized by the school.
I may not be able to access the Internet stably by then.
Therefore, from today till August 12, the updates will not be stable, and I may post some extra chapters sporadically.
well.
Say something from the heart.
In the later period of Arrogant Rebellion, up to the current plot, I always feel that the plot I wrote is lacking in interest. I also tried to rediscover the original feeling, but I felt tired every time I thought about it.
When my thoughts flowed most smoothly and the book was at its climax, my physical condition was poor because I was always in the habit of thinking about the plot late at night, which led to insomnia and I often couldn't fall asleep until three or four o'clock.
But with the support of the wonderful plot, I still forced myself to finish it.
Now it seems that my condition at that time may have laid the groundwork for my increasing weakness in the future.
I think the density of my previous plots was relatively high, so the subsequent thinking and design did not keep up with my updates. Sometimes I might force myself to update, but the quality, plot and character setting were not good enough.
And, most importantly, I used to be used to thinking late at night, but because I was too tired and my work and rest schedule was disrupted, I am now confused during the day and have headaches at night.
I wanted to try to think late into the night again, but I felt physically drained.
The most frustrating thing for me is that as a female slave, I feel kidney deficiency and back pain when I can't type hard enough.
Sometimes I would even subconsciously cover my waist when I couldn’t write any more (I give in, what the hell).
After having my pulse checked by a classmate who studies traditional Chinese medicine, I was also severely warned to regulate my spleen and kidneys and my daily routine.
I am very thin, but my friend said my pulse is so weak that it is almost undetectable.
Completely overdrawn.
I feel like my brain cells are dying from staying up late all the time.
At the same time, my three-dimensional life is not going well. The pressure from study and family is quite great. It may also be related to my own heavy thoughts, cautiousness and trepidation. But there are indeed some real problems that require people to be alert and vigilant.
I deeply realize that I may be able to make some breakthroughs and be light-hearted and humorous in small plots, but when it comes to big plots, my thinking is always one step slower.
Sometimes I would lament late at night that the past plots might have been better arranged, the performance and rhythm of the plots might have been better viewed this way, and the changes in the characters might have been presented in a more delicate way through small events.
I was tormented by my inability to come up with a better plot and my high demands on myself, but in the end I compromised by updating and found a compromise writing method, but I still wasn't very satisfied with it.
I tried to continue typing intensively, but my thinking became slower and slower. It might also be because I put too much pressure on myself. The more pressure I was under, the less I could conceive the plot.
Of course, this has been happening for a long time, but I'm afraid that after I slow down the updates due to my own excuses, I will end up complaining instead.
Therefore, I have been coding all the time, and I make up for the low efficiency by spending more time.
I hope to take advantage of this study session organized by the school to take a break for a while.
If I keep writing, or in other words, if I continue living this unhealthy, high-pressure life, my body might die sooner than my mental breakdown.
So, when I started writing this book, I weighed around 105 pounds, and as of now, I weigh 85 pounds, which is below the healthy weight range for my height.
My hair is falling out in clumps.
I am an engineering student and my hair is already very sparse. Now typing is causing me to lose my hair again, and my hairline is getting higher. I really don't want to have a bald head at such a young age.
MY HAIR AAA ... ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
After writing the update, I noticed my hair was scattered on the chair I was sitting on and on the floor. This was the most painful thing.
A person without hair cannot write a plot.
So I'm going to take a leave.
Because my condition is visibly worse, some friends around me are urging me to finish the book as soon as possible, but I still have a small part of the storyline to go, and there is no way I can finish it all in one big storyline. I want to finish writing and finishing the whole storyline, so I need to rest for a while!!!
MY HAIR! HAIR!!! ...
My heart is in a state of anxiety all day long, for I know that I cannot reach the end in this state. I am like a fledgling in the morning mist, unable to flap my wings and fly to the calm and peaceful lake in the distance, which is gazing at me like a dazzling blue agate, and I will eventually drown in the mud on the road, shouting out an unwitting character in the story with a hoarse throat. The song I am attached to is not finished after all, not because my will has shattered my soul, but because my hands have already dropped.
My waist starts to twitch. Why do I have kidney deficiency? Ah? Ah? Ah? Ah? Ah? Ah? Ah? Is it my waist or my kidneys that are hurting? !
I still love my stories, and I still want to embellish the lines with worldly wit and humor, but I have become gloomy, and my dull body cannot light a candle.
My kidneys hurt!!!! Aa ...
The first book always embodies too much effort and expectation. I have invested too much without realizing it. I still have a passion for words and a pursuit of plot. I look forward to writing more popular and humorous words, rather than giving up completely - the original intention is still clear, I want to make you laugh.
But I can't think of the plot, I'm emo.
Mature and experienced authors always downplay what they say. I envy the old authors' clear distinction between public and private, and the separation of the author's status from the work. Therefore, I gradually stop nagging at the author's words, but I always feel melancholy when the plot is not good enough and I know I am dissatisfied.
Let’s go have a midnight snack.
I've been eating more recently to gain weight.
(End of this chapter)