The moment Yu Fengcheng woke up in the hospital, he judged from the stiffness of his body that he had been in a coma for at least five days.
Memories poured into my brain like a flood. The scenes that happened on the snow-white Kunlun Mountains seemed to be happening a second ago. The appearance of Huo Qiao dying at any time, and the appearance of Bai Xinyu bleeding all over the ground alternated like a nightmare. It was so entangled that he could barely breathe.
Is his uncle still alive? He only remembered that when he carried Huo Qiao to the hospital, Huo Qiao had gone into complete shock due to pulmonary edema. What about Xinyu? How is Xinyu? He recalled Bai Xinyu's last look, the last look when their eyes met, those eyes were full of despair and pain, it made him know for the first time in his life what it means to be heartbroken.
He clenched his fists and beat the bed hard.
The voice caught the nurse's attention, and the nurse ran over and said happily, "You're awake."
Yu Fengcheng said in an extremely hoarse voice: "He...they..." His throat was so sore that he could hardly pronounce.
The nurse knew what he wanted to ask, and immediately said: "Don't worry, every one of your comrades who were sent to the hospital is alive, except for your captain who is still in a coma, everyone else is awake, and there is no crippling trauma."
Yu Fengcheng took a deep breath, his eyes became sour, and his vision instantly blurred.
all alive... all alive...
"Hey, you can't get up yet. Do you know that your organs almost failed from running? Fortunately, you are young."
At this time, the door of the ward opened, and Chen Jing walked in, "Fengcheng, are you awake?"
"Squad leader..."
Chen Jing immediately walked over and pressed his shoulder, and said in an orderly tone: "The deputy team is in a stable condition and is out of danger. Your task now is to rest."
Yu Fengcheng put down a big stone in his heart, he said in a hoarse voice: "Xinyu... what about?"
"Xin Yu..." Chen Jing looked sad, and he said to the nurse, "Comrade, can I have a private word with him?"
Yu Fengcheng's complexion changed, and his supposedly weak hand gripped Chen Jing's wrist tightly, causing pain in Chen Jing's wrist bone, "What's wrong with him?" Bai Xinyu's pale face and red eyes appeared before his eyes again , he felt his heart being grabbed.
"Don't be nervous, Xinyu is already awake." Chen Jing lowered his eyes to cover up the pain in his eyes, "His shoulder is injured, even after heals, it will affect his shooting. And his family members are here, insisting on letting him be discharged. After I'm done, I'm going back to Beijing."
Yu Fengcheng took a deep breath, closed his eyes and fell back on the bed. His shoulder was injured... The bullet he took for himself penetrated Bai Xinyu's shoulder and shattered his dream of becoming a sniper. The blood that flowed from his body was stained with the blood of Kunlun Mountain So red so red.
Yu Fengcheng knew that he would never forget Hong at that time for the rest of his life, because he left Bai Xinyu who was bleeding, and Bai Xinyu who was injured for himself and held his hand and didn't want to let go. He covered his eyes with his hands, his heart ached so badly that he could barely breathe. The most difficult choice he encountered in his life forced him to make a decision in the blink of an eye. His choice had nothing to do with right or wrong, he only knew that he had hurt Bai Xinyu.
Chen Jing sighed: "Fengcheng, actually... I know the relationship between you and Xinyu."
Yu Fengcheng gave a low "hmm", but actually he didn't care if anyone knew, including his brother-in-law.
"I can't comfort you, I just hope you all get better soon."
Yu Fengcheng murmured: "He must hate me."
Chen Jing pursed his lips, speechless.
Yu Fengcheng turned around and didn't want to talk anymore, so Chen Jing could only leave silently.
After lying on the bed for two days, Yu Fengcheng can get out of bed and move around. But he seemed to have lost his soul, his eyes were empty, and he sat motionless on the bed and did not speak.
Several comrades in arms came to see him twice, and were frightened by his state.
One night in the middle of the night, Yu Fengcheng couldn't bear it anymore and walked out of his ward. He knew where Bai Xinyu's ward was, and it was only twenty or thirty meters away from him, but those few steps were like the muddiest deep swamp in the world. , Every step he takes requires 12 points of strength.
After finally walking outside Bai Xinyu's ward, he leaned against the door, took a deep breath, and tried to look in through the window, but the inside was pitch black, and he could barely see the figure lying on the bed from the dim light of the night light . His heart was beating wildly. How much he wanted to just open the door and go in to see what was going on with Bai Xinyu, but he didn't dare, he was afraid to see Bai Xinyu's eyes, he didn't know what kind of emotion would appear in those eyes ,anger? resentment? indifferent? For the first time in his life, he was afraid of a person's attitude towards him, and he was so afraid that he became flustered.
In the end, he still didn't do anything, and went back to the room silently.
Maybe it was because he slept for too long when he was in a coma, or maybe it was the scenes on Kunlun Mountain that were replaying in his mind repeatedly, and he couldn't fall asleep normally for several days in a row.
He thought about every detail of him and Bai Xinyu, from the time they met to now.
Since when did the playful mentality he originally held towards Bai Xinyu change beyond his control? Maybe it started when Bai Xinyu pointed at his nose for the first time and said that he wanted to beat him, maybe it started when the two of them were holding hands on New Year's Eve, watching the sky full of fireworks, or maybe even earlier, when Bai Xinyu The status in his mind has already exceeded his imagination.
He once struggled and hesitated about his feelings for Huo Qiao. Huo Qiao was his idol, his goal, and the person he set as a benchmark in his childhood. He lost the image of a "real man", so he followed in Hojo's footsteps all the way. When he was fifteen or sixteen and suddenly found out that he was gay, he couldn't tell what his admiration and appreciation for Huo Qiao was. At that time, he only knew that no one in the world was more important than his uncle except his parents.
But Bai Xinyu appeared... Obviously it shouldn't have been like this in the first place, he shouldn't have gotten too deep, he shouldn't have brought Bai Xinyu into the Snow Leopard brigade, he shouldn't have done several stupid things out of jealousy, but so many shouldn't, Nothing stopped him and Bai Xinyu from getting to where they are today.
He clearly remembered the panic and anger in his heart when Bai Xinyu asked him if he liked Huo Qiao. Misunderstood him.
It wasn't until he looked directly at Bai Xinyu's relying eyes on Kunlun Mountain, but forcibly opened his hand, and felt the feeling of his heart bleeding and his body collapsing, that he was sure that Huo Qiao and Bai Xinyu were completely different. . It was at that moment that he realized that he was willing to sacrifice his life for Bai Xinyu to stand in front of him in a good manner.
He knew that one day he would have an aunt, and he only hoped that that woman would be good enough to be worthy of his uncle; but he couldn't imagine Bai Xinyu being nice to others, he really could do anything. He never thought about what happened with Huo Qiao, that was his uncle, thinking about it deeply, he would feel awkward, even unethically disgusting, but Bai Xinyu... now he just wants to hold him tightly and never let go.
He wished countless times to go back to the day when Bai Xinyu questioned him, and he would tell Bai Xinyu happily: I like you, from beginning to end, only you.
After Huo Qiao woke up, he and Bai Xinyu met in Huo Qiao's ward for the first time since Kunlun Mountain. When Bai Xinyu pushed the door and came in, he couldn't help trembling, their eyes met, he was not surprised to see Frost in Bai Xinyu's eyes, even though he knew this, he still seemed to hear the sound coming from inside his body The sound of breaking.
When he fought hard for the opportunity to be alone with Bai Xinyu, he actually didn't know what to say, any words were pale and crumbling in front of Bai Xinyu's injured shoulder. Really, what can he say? Said that only his physical strength was acceptable at that time, and Huo Qiao was about to die? He believed that Bai Xinyu also understood the situation at that time, but... it was just that he abandoned Bai Xinyu, no matter for any reason, he abandoned Bai Xinyu.
In Bai Xinyu's heart, no matter how much affection they had before, they were dead on Kunlun Mountain, but to him, it was burning hotter and hotter.
He watched Bai Xinyu return to Beijing, while he and others returned to Urumqi to continue recuperating.
It would not be an exaggeration to say that those days were the darkest in his life.
The dormitory where he and Bai Xinyu used to live together is now empty and he is the only one left. Bai Xinyu left in a hurry and left a lot of things behind. He tried his best to put those things back in their former positions, so that when he dreamed back at midnight, he would feel that Bai Xinyu was still sleeping beside him, but there was an empty place beside him. His heart will be emptied in an instant.
He repeatedly thought about the two of them, the way Bai Xinyu smiled, cried, angry, and infatuated. He remembered every expression of Bai Xinyu clearly. Sometimes the man who acted like a baby occupied all his mind, but he didn't even dare to make a phone call easily, just because he was afraid of hearing the voice of rejection.
He knew that Yan Shaozhen was going to be transferred back to Beijing, and he got a toothache from jealousy.
Bai Xinyu may not be able to see it, but he knows, he knows how unusual Yan Shaozhen's eyes look at Bai Xinyu, it makes him angry, because he is familiar with that look, it is longing, hopeful, longing Possessive, he knew that was how he looked at Bai Xinyu.
He couldn't stand this kind of torture anymore, so he mustered up the courage to call Bai Xinyu. He tried his best to pretend to be calm, although every word Bai Xinyu said was like a knife stabbing into his heart, but he still Be calm, because if he can't maintain this calmness, he will throw away his helmet and armor in an instant, and show his weakest and ugly side in front of Bai Xinyu. That is not the Yu Fengcheng Bai Xinyu likes, and he does not allow such a person to appear In front of Bai Xinyu.
That night, he made a decision that none of his family could convince him to make—leaving the Snow Leopard Team a year early and going back to Beijing to study at the military academy.
He likes Bai Xinyu, and it is absolutely impossible to let him go. He will never want to like Bai Xinyu again in his life, because that man has started to erode his heart little by little since the day he came into his sight. This most important organ of his body can no longer accommodate others.
He wanted Bai Xinyu, no matter what, to take that man into his arms again.
The author has something to say: A side story from Xiaoyu’s perspective~
I wish all mothers happiness and good health~~Good night!