Bai Xinyu was lying on the ground, touching the rations and mineral water with his hands. He had already eaten and drank more than half of it. Does this mean that the assessment is almost over? His sanity was already a little unclear, but in a blur, he suddenly remembered what Huo Qiao had said outside. Huo Qiao said that this would be an assessment with the highest elimination rate. It was ridiculous that he didn't believe it at the time...
Those who have never experienced it will never be able to understand what kind of physical and mental damage this closed and dark space can bring to people. The boundless darkness and suffocating loneliness tore apart Bai Xinyu's psychological defense bit by bit. He watched helplessly. Seeing himself being engulfed by the darkness, there was nothing he could do. He began to have many hallucinations, uncontrollably fantasizing about some ghosts and monsters hiding in the dark, watching him quietly, who may drag him into hell in this unknown place at any time, and everything he experienced before may be transformed into a distorted nightmare Gradually, he no longer dared to think about those good memories, because thinking about them might turn them into bloody scenes in his brain in the end. His body was full of despair, loneliness and pain. He hit the wall with his body, submerged his head into the sink full of water, and yelled desperately. He didn't know if he was crazy.
When can I leave here? Dad, mom, bro, are you missing me? Then come and see me, talk to me, just a word... Yu Fengcheng, what are you doing? Are you crazy too? Maybe you have given up, is this something a human can bear... If you have given up, why am I still holding on
Bai Xinyu rushed to the door, knocked on the door, and roared, "I can't take it anymore! I abstain! Help—" He cried and shouted until finally he couldn't make a sound, but the door The door was still closed tightly, separating him from the other world. This door had become his enemy. He lifted up the camp bed and slammed it hard against the door. The loud impact and metal friction made his eardrums ache. , but he liked the loud noise, it made him feel alive.
I don't know how long he was tossing in it, he was so tired that he fell asleep again, woke up and continued to toss, over and over again. Not only did he have hallucinations, but he even began to hallucinate and hallucinate, even though he could actually see nothing, he sometimes nestled on the bed and muttered to himself, sometimes jumped and roared like a madman, and sometimes cried bitterly and begged to let himself out.
Why? Why has he already said that he will abstain, and why hasn't he been released? Is no one watching him? So how should he choose to abstain? No, you can definitely abstain, Huo Qiao will not lie to them, what should I do? That's right... let yourself get hurt... He doesn't believe that the people watching him can watch him die!
He jumped off the bed, took a deep breath, and hit his head hard against the wall. With a bang, his whole body was bounced back to the bed by the force of the impact, and the back of his head hit another wall. With his head scratched, he rolled twice on the bed, crying bitterly.
It hurt so much... He couldn't take it anymore, he didn't dare to hit it anymore, his head seemed to be bleeding, his skin was burning hot, and his whole body felt dizzy.
He has been lying on the bed for a long time, this impact, besides a slight concussion, also made his brain a little bit sober, he knows that his current behavior is a mental patient, he can realize this , Maybe I'm not completely crazy yet
After a few days of breaking down, this pain made him realize that he couldn't self-harm to get out of here, and most importantly, he realized that he shouldn't self-harm, how could he hurt himself? He still wants to get out alive, he wants to feel the sunshine again, he wants to go home, he wants to see his relatives and Yu Fengcheng, he doesn't want to become a lunatic, he should find a way to stay rational instead of giving up on himself!
Bai Xinyu lay flat on the bed, tried to adjust his breathing, tried to relieve his pressure, and let himself go on as much as possible. He didn't have much food and water left, and he must be able to leave here soon!
This forced reason supported him for a while, until his dry food was completely exhausted. When he searched the whole room and couldn't find any more biscuit crumbs, the big hole of fear that had been barely mended in his heart was torn open again.
Could it be... They were abandoned? Bai Xinyu hugged his head, his eyes almost popped out.
The food has been eaten and still can't leave, does Huo Qiao want to kill them? Yes, Huo Qiao must want to kill them, otherwise why would they be locked up in such a terrible place, there are ghosts in it, Huo Qiao has always been inhumane, it is okay to train them as inhumane, even if you want to kill them Strange. Bai Xinyu thought of Huo Qiao's usual smile, and the more he thought about it, the more he felt that that smile was extremely weird, like a bloodthirsty devil!
Suddenly, a pale face appeared in the darkness, it was Huo Qiao! Huo Qiao's face floated towards him, and he opened his mouth wide enough to swallow his head in one bite! He screamed frantically, kicked and kicked vigorously, as if possessed by something, he jumped out of bed, rushed and cried all over the small confinement room. He is going to die! He wants to starve to death in this dark secret room!
In the following time, Bai Xinyu could only rely on drinking water to satisfy his hunger. He collapsed on the bed like a dead man, and he didn't even have the strength to shout. He knew that he was waiting to die, and his tears had dried up. On the contrary, they are calm, and they will be free soon after death. If Yu Fengcheng also dies, they will still be able to walk the path of the underworld together.
Bai Xinyu closed his eyes, let him die, quickly end this endless torture...
Half-dream and half-awake, he heard the iron door being opened, and the sound of someone talking came from the door, but he didn't move. Numerous hallucinations.
Someone walked up to him, patted his face, and the voice seemed to come from outside, "The assessment is over."
Bai Xinyu half-opened his eyes, but still couldn't see anything. Then, the man covered his head with something, and he completely fainted.
Bai Xinyu regained consciousness. He blinked and tried to open his eyes, but found that his eyes were wrapped with gauze. He moved his fingers, and his fingertips slid across the sheets under the bed. Same…
He... did he leave? Is it still a dream this time? Or did he really leave the brig? Or... he's dead. He pricked up his ears and heard birds chirping and people talking outside, everything was so real, not like a dream at all.
There was the sound of opening and closing the door, and a female voice said, "Comrade, are you awake?"
Bai Xinyu opened his mouth, still in disbelief, "Did I... come out? Is it true?"
Warm hands covered his forehead, "It's true, you are in the hospital now, and I'm a nurse."
Bai Xinyu grabbed that hand and held it firmly. This is the human body temperature he longed for!
The nurse yelled: "Oh, it hurts, let go!"
Bai Xinyu quickly relaxed his hand, but he still held it tightly, and said incoherently: "Let me touch it, you are human, you are really human..." He originally thought that he would cry out of joy, but when he really After it came out, he couldn't even cry, it seemed that something had been completely cut off from his body, and there was a huge hole in his heart, and he didn't know how to fill it.
The nurse didn't know whether to laugh or cry, "Hey, you send them here every year. I really don't know what you do."
Bai Xinyu felt like he had had a long nightmare, and now he finally woke up. Although, because he couldn't see, he still didn't leave the reality of the confinement room. He curled his body into a ball. In the most commonly used posture in the movie, he still doesn't feel any sense of security.
For the next few days, Bai Xinyu was also covered with gauze. His eyes stayed in the dark for too long, and he couldn't adapt to the light for a while, so he could only increase the light stimulation a little every day. He lived in a single ward, and except for the nurse, only a psychiatrist had visited him. The psychiatrist spoke like hypnotists, and gave him targeted treatment. He lay peacefully on the bed, No words, no matter what the doctor said, he was unwilling to speak. The hospital also seemed to be used to it, talking on its own, allowing him to gradually adapt to the fact that he had returned to a normal society.
Five days later, the bandages were completely removed, and he slowly opened his eyes, as if it had been a century, and he saw the light again, the white ceiling, the green plants, the brown poster frames, the endless black , disappeared in front of him, but he knew that the darkness would remain in his heart forever, after experiencing all this, he would no longer be afraid of the dark and lonely, because he came out of the darkest and loneliest hell Yes, he didn't believe there was any pain in the world that could compare to these. This is Huo Qiao's purpose, and this is the abyss that the Snow Leopard Team must pass through!
The nurse recommended a wheelchair and said with a smile, "Congratulations on removing the gauze today. Your boss called you for a meeting. I'll push you there."
Bai Xinyu shook his head, and got out of bed by himself. After lying down for so many days, his body had already recovered. He put on his coat, and the nurse led him to the door.
In the corridor, the nurse said: "You soldiers are so strange, you are all taciturn, and you don't say a word every day."
Bai Xinyu was stunned. taciturn? who? him? When did he become a taciturn person, let alone a day, he should be a person who can hardly talk for an hour, he is most afraid of loneliness, and likes to be lively. In the confinement room, he is so eager to communicate with others, why is it true? After he came out, he was unwilling to communicate? It seemed that in order to survive in the confinement room, he had activated some protection mechanism that he didn't even know about. This protection mechanism made him resist and guard against external stimuli. He doesn't trust the nurse or the psychiatrist. He doesn't need help. No one came to save him when he was most desperate. Now he doesn't need it, and he won't need it from now on. He can come back from hell alone. You can overcome all difficulties alone!
Pushing open the door of the conference room, the first person he saw was Huo Qiao standing in the middle, and there were several other people in the room. He glanced over and saw Chen Jing, Yan Shaozhen, and Yu Fengcheng.
The moment Yu Fengcheng saw him, his expression changed and he stood up from the chair.
Bai Xinyu's eyes were hot, and his breathing became a little difficult. He walked over and hugged Yu Fengcheng tightly. At that moment, he was really moved by the feeling of being alive after a catastrophe. Yu Fengcheng also hugged him tightly. The two of them didn't say a word. Said that everything that each other experienced can no longer be simply expressed in words. The meeting room is very quiet, because the people who can sit here have the same mood as them.
Bai Xinyu sat beside Yu Fengcheng, and cast joyful eyes on Chen Jing and Yan Shaozhen.
Huo Qiao clapped his hands, "First of all, I would like to congratulate the seven sitting here. From now on, you have officially become a member of the Snow Leopard Special Brigade of the Xinjiang Military Region."
The seven people looked at him with surprisingly calm expressions. They didn't even move their eyes or make any sound. Huo Qiao was not surprised. He smiled, "I know what you are thinking now, because everything you have experienced, every day Every member of the Snow Leopard Team has experienced it. Believe me, the first month after leaving the confinement room was very difficult. As time goes by, your personality and temper will return to your body, and you will become the person you were before going through the confinement room, but the change in your willpower caused by this experience is permanent. No longer afraid of darkness and loneliness, no matter what kind of desperate situation you are in, even if the whole team dies and you are the only one left, you can still persist in completing the mission, always be ruthless and persistent, this is the necessary condition for becoming a special soldier.”
The few people still didn't speak. They didn't doubt what Huo Qiao said, but now they seem to have just woken up from a nightmare, and they haven't recovered their souls yet. Of the 15 people, there were only 7 people left. It really was an assessment with the highest elimination rate.
Huo Qiao continued: "Is there anything you want to ask now? Just ask."
Chen Jing said: "Report, how many days have we stayed in the confinement room?"
"Seventeen days."
"Report, you said we can choose to abstain, what is the way of abstention?"
The question of this person made the breathing of the 7 people a little short, and there was a deep resentment buried in their hearts. I believe that everyone present thought about abstaining. Although they survived in the end, what if they didn't? It wouldn't be surprising if someone died inside.
Huo Qiao said: "You have been monitored all the time. If you have serious self-harm behavior, or if the psychiatrist judges that you cannot continue the assessment, you will be considered as abstention."
"Then the others..." Chen Jing gritted his teeth. Needless to say, the 8 people who were eliminated must still be receiving physical and psychological treatment at this time.
Huo Qiao nodded, "Their condition is not very serious, and they can recover after proper treatment."
Yan Shaozhen said in a deep voice, "Report, is it really fair to eliminate people in this way?"
Huo Qiao said: "You all have this question in your heart. It's normal. When I came out of the confinement room, I had this question with the same group of comrades. I also felt angry for those comrades who were not only physically and mentally tortured but also eliminated. But what they are encountering now is precisely to prove that they are not suitable to become special forces, so as to prevent them from being easily sacrificed on the battlefield in the future. Psychological detachment is not only an assessment, but also a trial. This thing can only be done once, and if it succeeds, If you fail to achieve, there will be no second chance to strip you of your sense of dependence, because you have already prepared yourself psychologically, and I am afraid that no one is willing to try again. If they fail in this opportunity, it is a complete failure No, there is no place in Special Forces for a soldier who is unable to resist fear and loneliness and tries to take his own life."
Bai Xinyu's Adam's apple twitched, and he felt a little cold in his body. At the most painful stage, he also thought about leaving by self-harm, and even had the idea of suicide more than once, but he didn't continue because he was afraid of pain. Can this be regarded as he passed the test? But no matter what, Huo Qiao's goal has been achieved. He seems to be able to see with his naked eyes that he has put on an invisible armor for himself. He has experienced deep despair and fear, and now he has no fear.
Everyone has no problem anymore, their souls are temporarily left in the confinement room, each of them is like an incomplete doll at this time.
After the meeting, Chen Jing and Yan Shaozhen walked over, Chen Jing pressed Yu Fengcheng and Bai Xinyu's shoulders, "Are you... all right?"
Bai Xinyu patted Chen Jing on the back, called the monitor, and then fell silent. They all had the same thoughts in their hearts, and the depression made it difficult to breathe smoothly for a while.
They disbanded in silence.
Bai Xinyu followed Yu Fengcheng to his ward, and as soon as he entered the room, Yu Fengcheng pressed Bai Xinyu on the door, blocked his lips forcefully, and locked the door at the same time.
The two kissed hard, as if they were going to swallow each other alive, they tore each other's hospital clothes, the loose clothes were quickly taken off, and the warm skin rubbed against each other, this is their Something to miss crazily in the brig!
They retreated all the way to the bed. Yu Fengcheng pressed Bai Xinyu under him, kissing and stroking constantly, leaving strings of hickey marks on the smooth skin. His actions express his inner desire for the other party.
Bai Xinyu gasped and urged: "Yu Fengcheng, come fuck me, come on."
Yu Fengcheng separated his legs, stretched them a few times, and then pushed in eagerly.
Bai Xinyu frowned, and his body was in unbearable pain, but he didn't want to stop, he needed this pain, the familiar body odor and the powerful impact, to pull his soul out of the confinement room, let him know that he Really returned to the sunny reality, and returned to the side of the person I like!
Yu Fengcheng pursed his lips and said nothing, his heavy snort made him sound like a hungry beast, he crazily invaded Bai Xinyu's body, the force and speed of the impact was unbearable, his eyes were blood red , the blue veins on his forehead made his facial features look a bit hideous, as if he would eat Bai Xinyu in the next second.
Bai Xinyu clamped Yu Fengcheng's waist, and screamed recklessly, he growled, "Hard force, Yu Fengcheng, you fucking kill me." He could clearly feel Yu Fengcheng rampaging in his body, bringing him Endless pleasure, this is what he wants, he can't wait to merge with Yu Fengcheng, just to feel Yu Fengcheng more clearly!
The two made love crazily, as if the end was coming. They let go of all worries and thoughts, and just felt each other wholeheartedly. There was never a sex that brought them the ultimate pleasure and at the same time made them feel that they could not The desperation of words, they linger to death, constantly climbing to the climax of desire...
Bai Xinyu woke up from a coma and found himself in Yu Fengcheng's arms. He moved slightly, and Yu Fengcheng woke up, looking at him without blinking.
Bai Xinyu smiled, "It's getting dark."
Yu Fengcheng hugged him tightly and said softly: "Yes."
"I'm going back tomorrow. I feel that the hospital is almost becoming my home. The hospital I've been in for half my life has never been more than half a year."
Yu Fengcheng kissed his forehead lightly with his lips, "It's best that this is our last hospitalization."
Bai Xinyu nodded.
Neither of them tacitly talked about the experience in the confinement room. This memory was finally sealed in the depths of memory, and no one wanted to mention it.
Bai Xinyu hugged Yu Fengcheng's waist, said with a light smile, "The instructor said he would give us a few days off, so we can leave the base and go play in the city."
"Okay, we can rent a car and drive to the nearby attractions by ourselves. Anyway, there is enough time."
"Okay, eat something delicious..."
They chatted about some irrelevant content, such a warm and peaceful time, people's hearts almost melted, but Bai Xinyu always felt that something was preventing him from enjoying the warmth of this moment, there was an invisible wall in his heart, It made him unable to calmly face the life after leaving the confinement room. I hope that, as Huo Qiao said, the psychological trauma can heal with time.
The next day, they were discharged from the hospital. The nurse who took care of Bai Xinyu looked at him with a strange look. Bai Xinyu thought it might be because the two of them made too much noise yesterday, and it should have been embarrassing if they were overheard. Great feeling, now that everyone knows the relationship between him and Yu Fengcheng, it doesn't seem to be a big deal, how to put it, it is the most painful experience, and nothing else seems to hurt him, let alone such a small matter.
They returned to the base in the truck they had arrived, and went back to the original dormitory to pick up their already packed luggage. They followed Yan Qiang to another dormitory building in the base.
Yan Qiang pointed at this building, "This is the dormitory of the active special forces of the Snow Leopard Brigade. The deputy captain and I live here. You will also live here from today. Two people share one room and you can combine freely. You can move around, but you can't leave without permission."
They went upstairs with their luggage, Yu Fengcheng and Bai Xinyu chose a room and went in.
Bai Xinyu put down his luggage and visited the dormitory. The dormitory conditions in this dormitory were much better than those in any military camp he had slept in before. Not only did they have independent bathrooms and water rooms, they also had their own bookshelves and wardrobes. .
Yu Fengcheng hugged his shoulders, put his lips against his ear and smiled, "This time we finally have privacy."
Bai Xinyu turned his face away, licked his lips lightly, and showed an ambiguous smile.