Yu Fengcheng walked over a few steps, hugged him into his arms, and said tremblingly in his ear: "Xinyu, I'm sorry." There were too many things contained in that "sorry", and he felt sorry for Bai Xinyu. One thing is worth a thousand words, but in the end he could only say "I'm sorry".
Bai Xinyu closed his eyes, this was the first time he heard an apology from Yu Fengcheng, but this sentence could not comfort him at all, instead it made him feel endless sadness. What is there to apologize for? The problems between them cannot be solved by an apology at all, who they like and who they don't like, there is no solution.
Yu Fengcheng said in a hoarse voice: "Xinyu, I'm sorry for you... many things, I shouldn't say anything about your brother, I shouldn't fight you, I even... shouldn't help you come to the Snow Leopard Team, this place is not suitable for you, why did you save me... These are not for you to suffer..."
Bai Xinyu really wanted to tell Yu Fengcheng that if it was another comrade in arms, he would have rushed out at that time. Although he now has to endure pain and inconvenience every day, if he did it again, others might hesitate, but Yu Fengcheng would not, and he would take himself It's worth it to replace the bullet that hit Yu Fengcheng's body with his shoulder injury. The feelings are not there, but the friendship of comrades-in-arms is still there, and he has no regrets.
Moreover, some things can only be figured out after going through the test of life and death. If such a thing hadn't happened, how long would he be entangled and uncomfortable for Yu Fengcheng? That's good, he can finally make up his mind.
Bai Xinyu pushed Yu Fengcheng away, took out his phone and wanted to write something, but he didn't know what to write, what should he say? It turns out that he has nothing to say to Yu Fengcheng...
Yu Fengcheng took his hand, "Xinyu, you asked me if I like the vice team, I have been thinking about this question, I didn't dare to think about it before, I didn't want to think about it, that's why I said I don't know, I really don't I know, whether I like the admiration and attention I have for him, my eyes have been following him since I was a child, and I can no longer tell what kind of emotion it is. But I am sure of one thing, I never want to kiss him or hug him, I just want to do these things with you, I think, I like you."
Bai Xinyu's heart trembled, and his breathing suddenly became a little short. He didn't expect Yu Fengcheng to say this sentence. Although the tone was full of uncertainty, the two of them have been together for so long, and they have never made a confession or promise. Maybe it's because they are embarrassed to speak, or maybe they haven't thought about the future at all. , more likely because he didn't know what Yu Fengcheng was thinking, so he didn't want to appear wishful thinking. He has been expecting Yu Fengcheng to give him a decent word, but now he is not happy when he hears this sentence. He believes that Yu Fengcheng has some feelings for him, but this feeling will never compare with the deep affection for Huo Qiao. , even Yu Fengcheng couldn't see clearly what he thought about Huo Qiao, how could he see clearly as an outsider? For him, if a person's heart is not entirely on himself, it is the same and unacceptable for whatever reason and on whose body. He took a deep breath and typed on the phone: I really don't care about your feelings for the deputy team. I'm going home, take care.
Yu Fengcheng's eyes turned red, "Xin Yu, you are irreplaceable in my heart. At that time, the vice team's situation was more critical than yours, so I..." He also realized that such an excuse was too pale, and he couldn't continue. He just held Bai Xinyu's hand tightly, he didn't want to let go of this hand, he let go once, and there will be no second time.
Bai Xinyu's heart was in severe pain, and he couldn't hold it any longer.
Yu Fengcheng raised his face, and stared into his deep eyes, "Xinyu, I know you blame me, but our relationship will not end like this, give me some time, I will go back to you, when the time comes I won't let you down again."
Bai Xinyu shook his head, don't come looking for me anymore, I don't want to toss and turn over who you are looking at anymore, I finally feel that I am a real man now, don't make me weak and hypocritical.
Yu Fengcheng lowered his head and kissed Bai Xinyu's dry lips. Bai Xinyu's expression was very indifferent, and he slowly pushed him away, turned around and wanted to go out, Yu Fengcheng hugged him from behind uncontrollably, his body trembling slightly.
Bai Xinyu took a deep breath, his nose was sore, and his eyes were a little blurry. After leaving, they will be completely over. The two years of military camp life are like a dream, and it seems that he has experienced more than his previous life. He has grown up in a short period of time, but it is not in vain for him to suffer this trip. He suppressed tears, pulled Yu Fengcheng's hand away, opened the door and left.
Yu Fengcheng leaned against the wall limply, feeling empty all of a sudden.
The celebration party at noon that day also became Bai Xinyu's farewell banquet. The leaders of the military region flew over specially. Because of the excellent completion of the task and the control of the battle loss ratio within the lowest range, Huo Qiao was awarded the second-class individual merit, and all the members of the team participating in the operation were awarded the third-class collective merit. Zhao and Jin Diao were chased as martyrs.
When Bai Xinyu pinned the military medal, he had mixed feelings in his heart. He knew that this would be the highest honor he had received in his life. He was able to stand here to receive the medal because his comrades paid for it with blood and sweat. He will never forget what happened on the Kunlun Mountains in just two days, which completely changed his life. He saw righteousness and bravery beyond life. his bone marrow.
Obtaining military achievements did not make the soldiers smile. Huo Qiao touched his military medal, smiled bitterly, and murmured: "What can I get my brother's life back..."
There was a low sobbing sound in the room, and the atmosphere was very sad for a while.
Because many people hadn't recovered well, they used tea instead of wine to see Bai Xinyu off. The relationship between life and death did not require too many words. Bai Xinyu knew that he would never forget everyone in the Snow Leopard Brigade. It's just that I didn't expect that tea can be intoxicating. At the end of the drink, many people still cried. Life and death are always difficult. Bai Xinyu felt drunk. If the experience in the Snow Leopard Team is really It was a dream, and he suddenly didn't want to wake up.
Chen Jing sat next to Bai Xinyu, and patted his head with red eyes, "I won't be your squad leader in the future, and when I go back, no matter what you do, you have to do it well, you know."
With a sore nose, Bai Xinyu grabbed Chen Jing's hand, opened his mouth and mouthed "Squad Leader".
Chen Jing's tears swirled in his eyes, and he wiped them off by himself. He smiled, "You used to talk so much, but now you suddenly stop talking. I'm really not used to it. After you left, I should talk more. I’m not used to it, since the day you joined the army, I’ve taken you with me, and I can’t take you with you in the future, and you can’t be lazy in places where I can’t see you, so you often write and call me.”
Bai Xinyu nodded vigorously, put his head on Chen Jing's shoulder, and bumped it lightly twice, feeling full of reluctance. He met too many good people in the military camp, and Chen Jing was one of them. Helping him, spurring him, and taking care of him all the way had an immeasurable impact on him. This upright and responsible squad leader is obviously younger than him At one year old, he stopped him from going astray like a big brother and infected him with his own character and principles. He couldn't describe his gratitude to Chen Jing. This is a comrade-in-arms and senior worthy of respect throughout his life.
Yan Shaozhen also came over, touched the teacup with Bai Xinyu, and said with a smile: "Xinyu, I will not get used to leaving the army at first, I will call you often, I originally planned to transfer back to Beijing next year, now I Plan ahead..." He lowered his voice, "Go back to accompany you."
Bai Xinyu smiled faintly. He felt that he would not be thinking about emotional things in a short time. After the separation, Yan Shaozhen's short-term confusion should also fade away, so he didn't take it to heart.
Yu Fengcheng had been watching him silently from a distance, but he didn't approach him. Almost everyone here knew about the entanglement between the two of them, but they just pretended not to see him. The atmosphere of the celebration banquet was depressing and sad from the beginning to the end.
When the partnership broke up, Huo Qiao called Bai Xinyu into the office and handed him a thick document bag, "This is the material for you to transfer your relationship. After you recover from your injury, it's time to retire from the army. It is up to you to decide whether to leave the army or enter the Beijing Military Region."
Bai Xinyu nodded, feeling very emotional when he finished the materials. When he first joined the army, he hoped to survive two years and be discharged quickly, but he really didn't want to leave when he had the chance.
Huo Qiao took out a cigarette, just about to light it, probably remembered the doctor's order, and put it down again, he looked at Bai Xinyu and said: "Xinyu, you are a soldier who surprised me and I am very reluctant, you must stay in the Snow Leopard Brigade There will be more developments, but you are not suitable to stay here, not to mention anything else, your relationship with Fengcheng will easily affect your judgment at critical moments."
Bai Xinyu's face was a little hot, and he felt extremely embarrassed when he said these words from Huo Qiao's mouth. Huo Qiao is also Yu Fengcheng's elder.
Huo Qiao smiled and said, "Your matter is not a secret anymore, so don't be embarrassed."
Bai Xinyu could only nod his head.
"Chen Jing told me what happened after I fell into a coma." Huo Qiao sighed, "Actually... I know a lot of things that you think I don't know. The child in Fengcheng has been chasing after me since he was a child. It's not that I haven't stopped it, our whole family has stopped it, but he is worthy of being from the old Yu's family. He was born with the word "stubborn", but he really chased him here. This child was very busy with his parents when he was young, so he was very rebellious I am the only one who restrains him. Whether he worships or fears me, in short, he only listened to me when he was a child. Unknowingly, what should I do? I have to learn, he also wants to get what I achieve, his eyes are always chasing me, it is inevitable that he will have some feelings that even confuse himself... "
Bai Xinyu was startled, how could Huo Qiao... But he thought again, Yu Fengcheng's attitude towards Huo Qiao was different from everyone else's. For such a smart person as Huo Qiao, it's not surprising that he can see anything.
Huo Qiao smiled lightly: "Aren't you surprised, Fengcheng is gay, but I'm not worried at all, because our family members know about it, to be honest, compared to other troubles he caused, sexuality issues are more serious. It’s nothing, he’s become much more honest since he became a soldier, and he was a little devil in our family before, so he only listened to me, how could I not see it.”
Bai Xinyu became embarrassed, he didn't know what Huo Qiao wanted to say, how could anyone know that his nephew had a crush on him, and still be so calm? Is there a normal person in this family
Huo Qiao looked at Bai Xinyu gently, "I used to think that Fengcheng's feelings for me were a troublesome thing, but after I met you, I felt relieved. Before that child became a soldier, he had a lot of messy relationships, but in In my opinion, he is only true to you. He has never seriously liked others, and he doesn’t know what true liking is, so he can’t tell what he is thinking about me. With you, he will see clearly sooner or later Yes, I really want to thank you for that."
Bai Xinyu's face turned green and pale, and he was so shocked that he could hardly speak. He never thought that Huo Qiao would talk to him about his relationship with Yu Fengcheng. This awkward and awkward feeling made him want to be on the spot. disappear. He was in a turmoil and couldn't digest what Huo Qiao said for a moment, and he was stunned.
Huo Qiao patted Bai Xinyu's shoulder, "That's all I've said, you two still have to see what happens, this kid from Fengcheng is quite stubborn, if he's sure, he won't give up no matter what, I hope you have a good time Time to calm down and have a new perspective. Finally, I wish you a speedy recovery."
If Bai Xinyu had been pardoned, he wanted to run away a long time ago. He stood up and shook hands with Huo Qiao vigorously, but he couldn't look directly into Huo Qiao's eyes.
Huo Qiao patted his head, "You are a qualified soldier of the Republic and an honorary member of the Snow Leopard Brigade forever. If you want to come back anytime, we are very welcome."
Bai Xinyu's eyes became hot, and he finally raised his head, looked directly at Huo Qiao, and gave him a standard military salute with his left hand. No matter how his relationship with Yu Fengcheng changes, his respect for Huo Qiao has never changed.
In the evening, Huo Qiao sent a car to take his family to the airport, and all members of the Snow Leopard Team saw him off on the playground.
Bai Xinyu looked at the familiar faces, heartbroken. His eyes swept over Huo Qiao, Chen Jing, Yan Shaozhen, and finally fell on Yu Fengcheng's face. He felt so many inexplicable emotions, he was afraid that he would lose control, so he held back his tears and got into the car. As soon as the car drove, his tears fell uncontrollably. He didn't expect that he would leave the army and Yu Fengcheng so soon. A month ago, he was still a special soldier with high fighting spirit. Excited to have enough private space, they parted ways in a blink of an eye.
Jian Suiying put her arms around his shoulders and rubbed his hair, "Cry as much as you want."
Bai Xinyu grabbed Jian Suiying's clothes and wept silently. He thanked Jian Suiying for sending him to the army. This place made him a better person and allowed him to meet someone he likes. No matter what the ending is, He has no regrets.
After returning to Beijing, Bai Xinyu calmed down to rest his body, his throat gradually became able to make a little sound, and his shoulders began to move. It's just that he can't sleep well. The big bed at home is a thousand times more comfortable than the army's camp bed, but he is not used to it at all. He can't see the familiar military camp and comrades. He feels indescribably empty and lonely. Unable to separate his identity, he always felt that he was still a special soldier.
Feng Dongyuan, Chen Jing and Yan Shaozhen all called him. Although he couldn't make a sound, he also felt very comforted listening to them. Squad leader Wu even wrote him a letter. Such a rough and cold person, The handwriting was actually very correct, and the letter was full of heartwarming words of comfort. When he was storing letters, he accidentally saw a large paper bag in the luggage. He suddenly remembered what it was, and took out the contents with trembling fingers. It was a thick stack of photos, all of which were taken by them. During Korla's military training, the girl who had a crush on him secretly took photos of him and Yu Fengcheng. In the photo, they are whiter than they are now, and their smiles are more carefree. He can't forget that Yu Fengcheng was jealous of this girl and kissed him in front of her... Bai Xinyu's heart tightened suddenly, and the pain was like an arrow Generally penetrated his body.
He put the photo in a paper bag and didn't dare to look at it anymore. Since he returned home for more than a month, the ice and snow have melted, and most of his injuries have healed, but why does he still seem to be living in the army? His heart seemed to be imprisoned there, because Yu Fengcheng was there, so he couldn't be freed easily.
Because the injury was not healed, he rejected all the invitations from his former friends and stayed at home every day, but he still woke up at 5:30 on time, went out to exercise, and maintained the routine of the army. Even his parents almost didn't know him. .
His brother came to talk to him once and asked him what his plans were after he recovered from his injury. He said he wanted to go back to the army. In fact, he wanted to go back to the original regiment. At least there were Dongyuan and the others there, but he knew his parents would not agree. Then the best thing to do is, he wants to enter the Beijing Military Region, his brother didn't say yes or no, he just told him to think about it, he knew that his brother didn't want to send him back to the army, and he couldn't complete the transfer procedures by himself , this matter had to be delayed. In fact, he doesn't have any hope in his heart anymore, maybe his obsession will gradually fade with time.
One day, two months after returning home, he received a call from the Snow Leopard Brigade. He thought it was Chen Jing or Yan Shaozhen, so he answered happily, wanting them to hear his long-lost voice.
After the call was connected, it was Yu Fengcheng's voice that came from the other side, "Xinyu, it's me."
Bai Xinyu was stunned, and couldn't help tightening his grip on the phone.
"Is your injury better?" Yu Fengcheng knew that he couldn't speak, so he said to himself: "We have carried out another mission in the past two months, and there is another comrade-in-arms around me. In fact, I don't know when. It will be my turn, and every time I think I might die, I miss you so much..."
Bai Xinyu took a deep breath, and Yu Fengcheng's face clearly appeared in front of his eyes. He always felt that Yu Fengcheng was very strong, so he avoided thinking about the possibility that Yu Fengcheng would be injured or die, but bullets were ruthless. The world disappeared, and he suddenly felt deep fear, he said hoarsely: "... who?"
Yu Fengcheng was taken aback, "Xin Yu? Can you speak?" Although the voice was scary hoarse, it was completely impossible to tell who made it.
Bai Xinyu said with difficulty: "Who... is gone."
Yu Fengcheng said in a deep voice, "Don't ask."
Bai Xinyu was silent, yes, he didn't know better, let those comrades live in his memory forever.
"Xinyu, did you miss me after you came home?"
Bai Xinyu paused, "No."
Yu Fengcheng's breathing was stagnant, and he was speechless for a long time.
Bai Xinyu paused every word: "Don't contact me again." After speaking, he hung up the phone, and felt heartbroken for a while. Because he stayed at home all day long, his brother even hired a psychiatrist for him. The doctor said that he had post-traumatic stress syndrome, also known as "post-war syndrome". In fact, he knew in his heart that this was only part of the reason, saying I'm sorry, he's so uncomfortable, and it's because he's broken in love...
Four months later, his injury was completely healed, but his shoulders were not very flexible, and his voice became low and slightly hoarse. Although the injury was healed, the sequelae would take a long time to heal.
He no longer stays at home, starts to meet some friends, and drives around the surrounding cities. However, he no longer smokes, and tries to drink as little as possible. He returns home on time at 10 in the evening, and now he has nothing to do with his former life of drinking and drinking. , the wine and meat friends know that he has changed now, and gradually stop asking him out. He used to think that he had a lot of friends in Beijing, but now he finds that there are only two or three who can stay with him, but he feels very good, he It is impossible to be the original Bai Xinyu again.
After a long time, he is no longer obsessed with returning to the army. After all, he has no military rank and will be discharged in three to five years. His parents strongly oppose his return to the army. My relatives were hurt a lot, and I didn't want to let them worry about it anymore, so I was officially demobilized.
After being demobilized, he began to plan his future life. After much deliberation, he decided to go to work with his brother. While learning things, he also took an on-the-job diploma. He sold his Porsche and gave it to Brother Zhao and the families of Jindiao. He raised 300,000 yuan, and began to anonymously support Feng Dongyuan’s sister to go to school, and he bought a scooter worth 200,000 yuan. Sports cars, famous brands, extravagant life, things that were important to him in the past, seem to be unimportant now. He only hopes that his time can be spent meaningfully, instead of squandering his youth like before.
With his experience in the Snow Leopard Brigade, reading and studying is no pain for him now. He picks up books again and attends classes while going to work.
Ever since he started working in his brother's company, he had more chances to meet Li Yu. He always thought that Li Yu was not pleasing to the eye, thinking that Li Yu was a vixen who seduced his brother, but his brother and Li Yu looked very sweet. At that time, he was not used to it at all, and then gradually realized that the two people's personalities really need to complement each other. Although he was his own cousin, he couldn't bear to live with someone with a temper like Jian Suiying for a long time. But Li Yu can do it, and they seem to be very happy, he also began to try to accept this "cousin-in-law".