He parked the car and we climbed up to the fourth floor together.
When I reached the door of my house, I suddenly realized a very serious problem and turned around to look at Mu Chenghe behind me.
"Anything else?"
"I..." I really want to say, Teacher, I have changed my mind. But is it too late
"Wait for me a minute." After saying that, I left him outside, quickly opened the door, went into the house, and at superman's speed stuffed the underwear, nightgown, charger on the sofa, as well as the toner, magazines, and snacks on the coffee table into the bedroom, and then I invited him in.
He looked around and said with a forced smile, "Fortunately, it's much cleaner than I thought."
My face darkened, and I bet he really wanted to laugh.
Finally, he sat on the sofa watching TV and using the air conditioner, while I was busy cooking in the kitchen. While I was washing the rice, I looked back at Mu Chenghe in the living room with a sad look, and I only had one feeling in my heart - regret. I regretted why he invited me to dinner but I didn't go, and I stupidly suggested to cook for him myself
There was a bottle of vodka he brought on the dining table, and I swallowed with envy.
A little while later, I was frying shredded potatoes and he stood at the door and asked, "Do you need help?"
"No, a stir-fried chicken wing will be fine."
"So many dishes." He looked at them, "I didn't expect you could actually cook."
"My mom used to work and my dad drove a taxi, so I cooked three meals a day. So I can cook most home-cooked dishes, but I can't cook anything that's too difficult."
He walked into the kitchen and asked me, "Do you have any wine?"
"Yes. Why?"
"I'll make the next dish for you."
As he spoke, he took down another sunflower apron from the wall and tied it on himself. He then washed his hands and the chicken wings, drained the water, and turned back to ask me, "Do you have any butter?"
I stared at his series of actions in a daze. I wasn't used to it yet, so it took me a long time to answer, "No."
"Just milk."
"There is milk!"
"ketchup?"
"have."
I prepared everything and stood by and watched him marinate the chicken wings with red wine, milk and other ingredients.
“What are you going to cook?”
“Red wine chicken wings.”
“Can chicken wings be fried with milk and red wine?”
“Russian style.” Then he added, “I think most kids will like it.”
"… "
"I have a classmate whose child is three years old this year," I said.
He was stunned: "How old?"
"Three years old." I stretched out my finger in front of him to indicate, "A high school classmate. After taking the college entrance examination, she returned home to change her hukou and married someone. During the winter break of my sophomore year, we had a class reunion. She brought her child and taught him to call us aunt. It really scared us to death."
He smiled, didn't respond to me, and turned on the range hood.
“I’m sure this has happened to you too,” I said.
"My former classmates are all older than me," he said. "Now many of them have children."
"Is there any female classmate among you who made you sad?" I asked with a lewd expression.
"One or two," he answered honestly.
"Ah?" I was surprised. "Is it true?"
"But they looked down on me because I was several years younger than them at that time."
"Oh." I nodded meaningfully, and then concluded, "So you like older people."
He smiled and shook his head, as if he was too lazy to open his mouth to refute me.
The button of the rice cooker popped up, I unplugged it, scooped out the rice, and then set the table.
At this time, Liu Qi called.
"Have you eaten?" Liu Qi asked.
"I'll eat it right away."
"Give my regards to Teacher Mu for me."
"Um."
I don’t know why, but I held back and didn’t tell him that Mu Chenghe and I were cooking at home.
Mu Chenghe served the red wine chicken wings to the table, and then went back to the kitchen to put on his apron. The plate of chicken wings was reddish brown and fragrant. So I took the opportunity to reach out to take the chicken wings from the plate, but I was so hot that I quickly let go. Then, I put my fingers in my mouth and chewed them. It was sweet and very tempting.
After he sat down, I asked, "Would you like a drink?"
"You can drink a little, but I won't."
I was laughing so hard that I went back to get the wine glass. Just as I entered the kitchen, my cell phone rang again, so I went back to answer it.
"Hello" I said.
"Tongtong." It's mom.
"mom."
"Where are you?" She sounded a little strange.
"at home."
"Tongtong, Chen Yan is dead."
I was stunned for a moment and asked back: "Chen Yan? Impossible."
Instantly I felt a buzzing sound in my head.
"How is that possible? She texted me a few days ago. Didn't you talk about her this morning?"
"She disappeared last night. We just found her. She..." Mom didn't say anything else. Instead, she said, "If you have time, come over."
I stood there blankly after hanging up the phone, glanced back at Mu Chenghe, and then began to explain to him while looking for my ID, getting my charger, and packing my things.
Mu Chenghe put down his chopsticks, sat on the chair, and watched me do all this quietly.
Finally, he said, "I'll go with you."
It was already 4pm when we boarded the bus to City B. Our tickets were originally for No. 17 and No. 18, but the two seats were just staggered. Mu Chenghe said a few nice words to the aunt next to me, and we were able to switch seats.
Auntie looked at me with a smile, then looked at Mu Chenghe: "You two are classmates, right? School is on vacation, are you going home together?"
I was in a low mood and did not answer.
Mu Chenghe smiled and said nothing. I found that whenever he didn't want to say anything to someone, smiling at them was a good method.
As soon as we got on the highway, the driver started playing a movie.
Neither he nor I read newspapers or magazines, and we were too far away from the TV screen, so we just watched the scenery flying by outside the window.
I was silent, and he was silent too.
The bus left the ring road and changed direction when it passed the overpass. The glaring sunlight came in through our windows, and we had to draw the curtains tightly.
I was not very comfortable sitting there, so I leaned my head against the window glass, swaying with the car and occasionally bumping. In this rhythmic swaying, I fell asleep unknowingly.
I was half asleep and didn't sleep well. I just felt someone turning off the air conditioner above my head and then turning my head to rest on his shoulder.
I opened my eyes and realized that it was not a dream, but that I was indeed leaning on Mu Chenghe. He was very thin, so there was no extra flesh on his shoulders, which was uncomfortable. But after hesitating for a while, I let myself maintain this posture.
He didn't move.
I didn't dare move either.
I was afraid that if I made any movement, he would realize that I was awake.
I don’t know how many kilometers the car traveled. I couldn’t see the TV screen with my eyes, but I was listening to the movie playing on it with my ears. I only knew that the hero’s first confession was rejected by the heroine.
My neck was so sore that I couldn't help but raise my head and leave Mu Chenghe's shoulder. Then I realized that he had actually fallen asleep. He leaned back on the chair with his head tilted back, his lips tightly pursed, as if to let me lean on his shoulder better, his body sat very low. He held the phone in his right hand, and his left hand was flat on his knees, his five fingers slightly curled, palm facing up.
The bus bumped back and forth from time to time, and every time it swayed, his hand on his knee would slide down a little. I watched it slide down little by little, and when it finally fell completely, it touched my hand.
I admit that I deliberately put my hand between us, waiting for it to fall.
But at the moment when the backs of my hands touched each other, I suddenly jumped away and hastily withdrew my hands.
Under the cold air of the air conditioner, his hands seemed a little cold, but mine were burning hot.
I couldn't help but start to despise myself. I was in a relationship with Liu Qi, but I had delusions about Mu Chenghe. So I opened my handbag, took out my cell phone and sent a message to Liu Qi, telling him that I had to go to my mother's house for something.
I don't know if my series of actions alarmed Mu Chenghe and woke him up. He glanced at the time on his phone, then put the hand I had just touched back on his leg.
After a few minutes, Liu Qi replied to my text message.
"What's the emergency?"
"The daughter of a colleague of my mother passed away, so I'm going to visit her."
"Then be careful on the road."
I looked at the words and pressed the return key. I don't know if other people's love is like ours. At first, I accepted him because I selfishly wanted to use him to forget Mu Chenghe. Later, he treated me well, and I made up my mind to be with him, and even made our relationship public. When I was with him, I felt at ease. I felt that I should accept his treatment of me. The touching love experiences in books and on TV were just artistic tricks to deceive people's tears and money. Love in reality should be like mine and Liu Qi, plain and simple. When we have time, we have dinner and date. When we don't have time, we are busy with our own things. When we don't see each other for a few days, there is no missing or throbbing in the heart.
I even felt that my affection for Mu Chenghe was just the fearless infatuation and admiration of a young boy. Once I had Liu Qi, I would definitely forget about him.
However, when I touched Mu Chenghe's hand, it was like being bitten by a poisonous snake, and I suddenly felt a little panicked.
"Teacher Mu." I called out softly, but the man reading a newspaper in the front row of the aisle still heard the name and looked at us curiously.
"Hmm?" Mu Chenghe replied.
"It seems like we are more than halfway there." I changed the subject. Actually, I wanted to ask, if I get there, how should I introduce you to my mother, my teacher, or my friend? When I met the male passenger's inquiring gaze, I didn't know how to start the conversation for a moment.
"We'll probably be there around eight o'clock." He realized something and added, "After I drop you off, I'll go back to City A."
"Teacher Mu..." I called him again.
He turned and looked at me.
"Thank you," I said.
Even Liu Qi hadn't thought about accompanying me, but he didn't hesitate at all.
He laughed: "Every time you said thank you to me, your expression was very serious."
"Ah?" I wondered. "When?"
“It was the same thing last time at Starbucks.”
I thought about how I was walking alone on the street like a lost soul, and asked uncomfortably, "Really? Besides, you are the teacher and I am your student, so I definitely can't laugh...haha...at you..."
I paused and didn't say anything more because I noticed that the way he looked at me was not right. He stopped smiling, frowned, and looked at my mouth, then looked away. It seemed to me that he was suddenly unhappy.
"Did I say something wrong?" I asked.
He looked at me with a confused look in his eyes, staring at my lips.
"Did I really say something wrong?" I asked again.
This time, he seemed to understand, shook his head, and tried to force a smile at me. Then he turned his head away, leaned his head against the back of the chair, closed his eyes and remained silent.
I noticed a layer of sweat on his forehead, so I asked anxiously, "Are you feeling unwell? Are you carsick?"
He ignored me again.
I suddenly remembered that he was like this on New Year's Eve last year. It was as if his reaction became slow in an instant, and he had to repeat what he said two or three times before he could understand. He was completely different from the usual Mu Chenghe.
An ominous feeling came over me.
I stared at him intently, afraid that he might be feeling unwell.
Not long after, the bus slowly slowed down and finally stopped. The driver asked around and found out that there was a car accident ahead and the bus could only go one way.
As soon as the car stopped, the driver turned off the accelerator and even turned off the air conditioner. In a few minutes, the temperature in the car began to rise sharply. Hearing the passengers' complaints, the driver explained impatiently: "The company has regulations on how much fuel we use. We don't know how long the traffic jam will last, so we can only save money. I can only open it for a while and close it for a while."
Even so, it still felt stuffy.
Mu Chenghe didn't move, his eyes were closed and his brows were slightly furrowed.
I remember that he was very afraid of heat, and I was afraid that he would feel even more uncomfortable if he got hot, so I took out a notebook from my handbag, tore out a few pages, folded them together and used them to fan him.
He finally opened his eyes and looked at me, then said four words: "Xue Tong, no need."
I said, "It's okay. I have nothing to do anyway."
His eyes were closed, expressionless.
Looking at his face, I remembered when I was a child, when my father was still alive and our family still lived in the old city. Every time he carried a gas tank home, he had to go up to the eighth floor. My father was fat and sweated a lot. He would stop after climbing two floors to take a breath, and his whole body was sweating. I would chase after him, standing on tiptoe with a small fan to fan him. In fact, that little bit of coolness didn't have much effect, but my father would always say happily: "Tongtong is really Dad's good baby." Occasionally, on hot and humid nights with power outages, my father would sleep next to me with a paper fan to cool me down, while he was sweating profusely. Usually, he would start snoring before I fell asleep.
Recalling these trivial things, thinking of Chen Yan's sudden death and Mu Chenghe's acute illness, I couldn't help but feel sad, and I felt even more uncomfortable. Gradually, the frequency of fanning began to slow down, and my wrist felt sore, so I changed to the other hand to continue, but after a while, it slowly slowed down.
Just as I was about to switch sides again, he raised his hand, his fingertips first touched my arm, then slowly moved up along the skin to the wrist, and then to the palm.
Then he held my hand tightly and pulled it back to his chest. Without wasting any words, he stopped me with his actions.
I held the fanning papers in my hands, and he held me. Not intertwining fingers like lovers holding hands, but covering me from the outside and placing me on his lap.
The makeshift paper fan in my hand was so wrinkled that it lost its original shape.
I know that he felt that I didn't listen to him, so he simply didn't let me move.
"If you find me annoying, can't I just stop fanning you?" I said.
He ignored it and still didn't let go.
It started to get dark.
There's a new movie on the car TV.
The fields in the distant mountains have been blurred by the gradually falling night, and occasionally one or two houses with lights on can be seen on the hilltops. On the road ahead, the lights of the cars gathered together to form a long dragon of orange and red lights.
His palms were wet and hot.
I thought, maybe he wasn't cold, maybe he wasn't annoyed by me, but just thought I was tired. Just like my dad asked me: You fan me so hard, don't your hands get sore
So I stopped moving, stopped explaining to him, stopped struggling, and willingly went along with him.
At this time, the bus went from being completely stationary to moving slowly.
After the engine restarted, the lights in the car suddenly came on.
Next to Mu Chenghe was the aisle, and on the other side of the aisle were two sleeping male passengers, and beyond the passengers was the window. At this moment, the window was like a mirror, and I suddenly saw Mu Chenghe's silhouette, and myself, from inside.
The handsome man in the mirror frowned and held the girl's hand stubbornly. The girl looked calm on the surface, but in fact, she was embarrassed, timid, and shy.
For a moment, I saw the real me and was at a loss.
I dared not look directly at it, and immediately retracted my gaze, but the glass facing me was still a mirror, and it was close at hand, reflecting more clearly than before. I bit my lip and mustered up the courage to stare at the glass again.
His eyes passed over himself and fell on Mu Chenghe, then he took out his cell phone with his remaining hand and wrote a text message to Liu Qi:
let's break up.
After entering the number, I looked at these words silently for a long time, my thumb lingering on the confirmation key again and again, and finally I sighed quietly and saved it in the outbox.
The bus finally returned to its normal speed, the temperature dropped, and the driver turned off all the lights in the car.
We were suddenly plunged into darkness, with the only source of light coming from the TV screen at the front. The light in the car flickered as the movie screen changed.
I suddenly felt that perhaps it was a place without light like this that could conceal my selfish heart. Thinking of this, I couldn't help but lean my body completely against the back of the chair, feeling a little discouraged. At the same time, my hand moved.