It was really a crazy night. The town that was still lifeless during the day became inexplicably "vibrant" at such a night, with shops opening inexplicably and abnormally noisy streets... It was like a doomsday carnival.
All kinds of crazy laughter and screams came from time to time into the small courtyard where we were. Accompanied by this background, I told Brother Chengxin and Ruyue what I saw in detail, and what I got in return was silence for a long time. No matter how confusing things are, the only thing that remains unchanged is human nature. To put it simply, everything in this world, whether it is war or as small as a family conflict, is essentially just human nature. Everything is disturbing... ..
After seeing and hearing too much about many things, you will feel anxious and helpless in your heart that you want to change but can't find the right way. But often one or two shining points make people unable to bear to give up a certain hope. Like hungry and desperate street beggars, there will always be one or two warm eyes with inquiry and sympathy, bending down and giving the respect of a small note...
We all have this conflicting mood, so I empathize with Brother Chengxin and Ruyue's silence.
The night wind was very cold, so I took off the black cloak I was wearing. I always felt that it represented a kind of numb depravity. The breaths of the three people formed a diffuse white mist in the air. I suddenly said: "Get out." Take a walk?”
Brother Chengxin smiled, still warm, and said calmly: "It's okay, looking at the monsters is also a kind of mental experience."
Ruyue had already opened the door of the small courtyard. When she turned around, her bright eyes were still as bright as when she first met her when she was a child. She turned around and held my arm with brother Chengxin one by one and said, "It feels like an adventure when I was a child, but the sad thing is that... At that time it was a dark cemetery underground, but now it is on earth.”
Ruyue's words made the three of us silent for a while, but without stopping, we walked out of the small courtyard and walked to the alley outside the courtyard.
The moonlight penetrated the fog and fell on this alley. In this somewhat remote alley, there were actually three or two people. They looked drunk. One was sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall and giggling. The other two had their arms around each other, their throats There were chattering sounds in the conversation. In fact, neither of them could clearly hear what the other was saying, but they still laughed as if they had some tacit understanding.
"It seems that at this time, anyone who is unobtrusively happy will be cast aside. This town is crazy." Passing by such three drunkards, Brother Chengxin adjusted his glasses on his face and whispered. .
I put my hands in my pockets and let Ruyue hold me. I raised my head slightly to look at the hazy moon, and whispered back to Brother Chengxin: "If you don't vent like this and make yourself laugh as hard as you can, you will look very happy." , how can we cover up the pain in our hearts? What we are giving away today is someone else’s child. Who knows that tomorrow we will have to sacrifice the most precious thing around us? For them who have already chosen to fall, it is better to forget these things and get drunk today. , you will have the courage to live tomorrow."
"Third brother, so you're saying that sometimes life is more painful than death?" As we spoke, we had already walked out of the alley, and a turn turned into the main street of the town. It was obviously depressed during the day, but now the whole main street is... The lights were bright, the closed shops on both sides were all open, and the streets were full of people wandering around. Everyone seemed to have forgotten who they were, making a fuss and showing off all kinds of ugliness... Watching this scene , Ruyue suddenly asked me.
We were walking along this main street, and from time to time someone would light a firecracker. I don’t know where it came from, or if it was just prepared for this time. Under this noise, I said to Ruyue : "Sometimes living is naturally more painful than death. The world of mortals refines the heart. Next to the word "Lian" is fire. It is using pain to temper the soul! But do you think these people are alive? People who dare not face the pain will naturally feel it. Without pain, what is training? All they can feel occasionally is complaining, and then continue to be numb. Complaining and pain are different, just like the difference between words and actions on one thing, you know? These people are just The walking dead, numb existences, are just existing, not alive.”
"Hmm." Ruyue agreed softly, saying nothing, but a pair of smart eyes scanned the shops on both sides.
Most of these shops are restaurants and gambling houses, filled with drunk people, people with red eyes gambling, people who can't face the pain, or people who are willing to be degenerate and numb for some unspeakable benefit. , can only be forgotten in this way, their smiles are so public, so public that they are even distorted... It seems that this moment has boundless happiness.
We walked in this town for about half an hour, and it seemed that we had seen hundreds of kinds of depravity and numbness, in all kinds of ways, and even men and women who were wantonly intimate on the street... But the more this happened, , the more I feel a stinging pain.
Brother Chengxin yawned, and suddenly his eyes became distracted. He said to me, "Go back. I'm tired. I won't read anymore."
"Me too." Ruyue also looked very tired, and then suddenly said softly: "Third brother, brother Chengxin, you think those who send their relatives out of this town, or escape from this town, are they brave? Or what?"
Brother Chengxin and I didn't know the answer, so we fell silent. The three of us walked back to the small courtyard, relying on each other suddenly.
After closing the door to the yard, everything became a little quieter. The moment I closed the door, I suddenly felt a sense of relief. It felt like I had returned to the world from purgatory.
We didn't have any extra words. We greeted each other lightly, cleaned up briefly, and then went back to the room. We wanted to rest... I tried to maintain a peaceful mood to fall asleep, but I kept tossing and turning. Feeling a little anxious that I couldn't sleep, I heard the door of the courtyard being knocked open... the sound of stumbling footsteps, the murmur of a drunkard...
Later, I heard Old Man Wang crying continuously from the main room, and talking to himself from time to time. Inexplicably, I kept tossing until dawn...
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I don't know if it was because the town was too 'happy' last night, so it started to drizzle in the morning of the next day.
There is always wind, but at least under the wash of rain, the yellow dust can no longer be raised, but even so, there is always a vague feeling in the sky of this town. I took a look and sighed in my heart, how can I keep falling? Rainy days are also so hazy.
As agreed, we set off to where Mr. Liu was.
Different from the madness at night, the town regained its sleepy atmosphere during the day. The occasional three or two people looked tired after the carnival, and the few canteens opened lazily looked like a 'Dead town', but even so, it still makes people feel a sense of normalcy, as if the people in this town are finally sober.
I still don't quite know the way around this town, maybe because I have too many things on my mind, and my usually excellent memory doesn't work at this time. I don't know why I feel like I don't want to ask the people in this town anything.
After all, when I pulled down my cloak last night, many people had already seen me. It’s just that people in this town are used to suppressing certain secrets. There is a delicate balance between me and them that cannot be explained. Why would I bother asking them anything
Fortunately, I always remember the appearance of that old Tongzi Building very clearly. After taking many detours, we still successfully found the Tongzi Building.
Downstairs, there were two old men waiting for us. Seeing our arrival, the expressions on their faces were obviously very relaxed.
We walked over, as if we were already very familiar with each other. After saying hello, without any unnecessary nonsense, they took us into the tube building.
Due to the old style and design problems of the building, the lighting problem of the entire building is not very good. Even in the daytime, walking in the stairwell is very dark, and it is even difficult to see the stairs under your feet.
We are young people, which is okay. I obviously felt that the two old people leading the way were walking very hard step by step.
"Why don't you turn on the light?"
"Why don't you live lower?"
Brother Chengxin and Ruyue asked almost at the same time.
Faced with such a problem, one old man was silent, but the other old man sighed and simply said: "Where can I have electricity to turn on the lights? It's not safe to live lower down."
This short sentence, a dozen or so words, made me feel inexplicably heavy in my heart. I could only lower my head in silence and slowly followed them up all the way until they reached the top floor. I saw We opened an iron door with a fence and locked the entrance to the stairwell. One of the old men took out the key and opened the iron door with trembling hands, and we were able to enter.
Another simple detail, but I felt how difficult their lives were!
Behind the iron gate, it was still very dark. Fortunately, when I turned a corner, I saw the corridor of the Tongzi Tower. There were lighted oil lamps hanging on the walls on both sides. I finally said goodbye to this darkness.
On both sides of the corridor are rooms facing each other, and the doors are all open... The old man who opened the door said: "We live here and live like this. Some people have lived here for many years, and some have lived there for many years." People are only a few years old. In fact, not all people are as old as you see."
What's the meaning? I suddenly raised my head and looked at him.
He smiled bitterly and said to me, "I'm only in my forties."