The footsteps of Master and I were quiet, but my heartbeat was like the strongest drumbeat, and the violent beating made my whole chest hurt.
This kind of pain is not the pain caused by physical injuries, but a voice in my heart shouting: "My happiness is only a little bit short of perfection. My happiness... is really just a little bit short of perfection." Perfect!”
Yes, I admit my greed. People are always like this. When they have nothing, they long for the day when they can no longer run for food and can eat happily. When it is windy and cold, just I want to have a thick cover so that I can sleep peacefully.
When one day I can really eat happily without running around, when one day I really have a thick shelter.
What you want may be that you can continue to eat as much as you want the next day, and what you may want is a comfortable bed to sleep on.
But, God, if you can hear it, then listen to me. I really only need one more person, and my life will be perfect. I am willing to eat rough food and live the simplest life, as long as... It would be nice to have one more person, I will never be greedy anymore.
How I long for this 'perfection' in my life, even if it's just for one day.
"What are you thinking about?" Master had already helped me to the pool at this time. Seeing me in a daze with a slightly painful expression on my face, I couldn't help but ask.
He is worried about me.
"I'm thinking about perfection." My face turned a little pale, maybe because of the pain, but because I was too pious, when I said the word "perfect", I couldn't help but squeeze out a smile, as if that Perfection right before my eyes.
"It's not that God can't tolerate perfection, but how many lifetimes of kindness does it take to enjoy perfection? Therefore, people must be content, know how to appreciate imperfections, and accumulate kindness over the lifetimes. Maybe what you want Perfection comes unexpectedly, right?" Master helped me sit down on a big rock.
After thinking about it, he pulled me up again, took off his coat, and laid it on the rock that already had traces of green marks. Then he asked me to sit down again. He just whispered: "Don't get cold." .”
The coat still carries Master's body temperature, but it makes me feel dazed... In fact, in the bamboo forest house, the life of master and apprentice was quite rough. How meticulous can the elders be? The master's unruly character is not to mention meticulous, but he always looks like this to me.
The medicinal food cooked on the red clay stove night after night, the steam of fragrant soup rising from the big wooden barrel he made night after night... Until now, this coat under me that carries his body temperature, maybe, he will spend his whole life. There are always details in it, but they are all given to me.
Master sat down next to me and quietly lit his cigarette again. The figure smoking the cigarette was still a little stooped. When did he become like this? In the past, his back was always so upright... But how many things could happen to him becoming blue hair in the morning and snow in the evening
Just like me now, there are strands of fine white hair in the flowing sea in front of my forehead. After all, Master and I have missed too many years, so there is no need to ask some questions.
The deep pool in front of me, the gurgling water... The tinkling ringing in my ears, this big rock, this deep pool, is almost an unfading picture in the childhood picture, but the picture never fades, underneath me This large stone, which was smooth due to sitting for a long time at that time, has become more colorful. After all, green moss has grown. Does it also tell the story of the loneliness of waiting
"Master." I spoke, when the smell of dry tobacco surrounded me again.
"Huh?" The master raised his eyebrows slightly and blew out a mouthful of dry smoke. The white smoke formed a ball in the black night, but it quickly dissipated... gathering and dispersing may be life.
"I don't want to think about whether God can tolerate perfection. Maybe I won't be able to see the kindness of many lifetimes... I just wonder whether God can tolerate the happiness I want. ? That, is it very luxurious?" My words echoed in this quiet night, accompanied by the sound of water and the chirping of insects, but it was so lonely.
However, Master did not answer my question directly. Instead, he sighed and said softly: "The wind is unpredictable, people are impermanent, life is like duckweed, gathering and scattering in the vast distance... I say that the road is turning, love is floating in the air. Hate is also in a hurry, the traces of the waves are invisible, the wind cuts the jade hibiscus... Chengyi, did you ever feel a trace of bitterness when you heard these words?"
I fell silent.
"Although we are Taoists, what I just said can be summed up as a Buddhist saying: 'The wind has no fixed appearance, and the clouds have no normal state.' Your persistent pursuit of the happiness you want only shows that this The world of mortals has not tempered you enough, idiot, are you going to let your obsession turn into madness in your heart?" There was a hint of helplessness in the master's words.
He just wanted to tell me that the ultimate state of life is just nature. When you encounter the road, you will walk, and when you encounter the water, you will survive... When you have concentration in your heart, the shore will appear by itself.
And this concentration is just the determination to go on firmly, not the obsession that I must go somewhere. Obsession turns into madness, and people also become crazy... And once people become crazy, there is no clarity left. direction
"Master..." I was speechless. Of course I understand these principles, but I said that I would not let go. This year, I may not be a person who can let go.
"That's all, you were born as a child, and the road to love was bumpy... Or maybe the obsessions born in this mortal world are also a training in your heart. Just like Lin Furui, is it his luck or his fate? The disasters are just a thought, but this process of refining is indispensable. What's more, you are my disciple. You are facing mountains of swords, seas of fire, and abyss of mortal world. As a master, I can only accompany you on this journey with my eyes closed." The master spoke. , frowned, and took another long puff of dry cigarette.
And I couldn't help but grab Master's hand, feeling the rough calluses in it, and for a moment I was speechless again.
"These days, you were in a coma... Some nights, I fell asleep beside you for no reason. But I seemed to be dreaming but not awake. I seemed to see that girl Ruxue, sitting in front of your bed and crying... . But I'm not sure." The master finally said it, accompanied by a sigh.
My hand shook, and I couldn't help but hold Master's hand hard. I remembered that night in India, that dream, that figure rushing past on the monitor, Ruxue...
Thinking of this, my lips couldn't help but tremble, but I couldn't say anything... At this time, all kinds of emotions are entangled in my heart, what can I say? If it's going to be completely cut off, why bother worrying about it quietly alone? Or, Ruxue has stubbornly believed that this love is only her thing
Because that year in the vast snowy forest, the promise between her and me turned out to be a separation. Oh, others stay together, but we promise to separate...
"Chengyi, where is Ruxue? Ling Qing has been asking before, but no one is willing to answer, including Ruyue that girl just cried." Before, Master never mentioned our respective experiences after we separated, but looking at me so With an abnormal expression on his face, he finally couldn't help but ask.
Or maybe Ruxue's state is so strange that even Master can't explain it... He has to ask me for an answer.
I looked at the deep pool in front of me, and my throat couldn't help but tremble. It took me a long time to spit out two words: "Dragon Tomb."
"Dragon Tomb...! That's right, I should have thought of it a long time ago. How could the master's words be wrong? Did you get the whisk?" The master's brows raised, and his eyes showed deep shock and doubt. .
"Yeah." I was so confused that I didn't know how to tell Master about this experience in detail.
"What does that have to do with that girl Ruxue?" This is the master's doubt. Yes, the Dragon Tomb incident was originally a mark left by my master's early travels. How could Ruxue be involved
"Because... there is a kind of insect that is very scary. It is almost immortal. Only by bringing it to the Dragon Tomb can they completely disappear. Ruxue... she is the guardian of the tomb." That past event is in my mind It was shown repeatedly in the film, and finally it was frozen again and again in the dark door, the figure walking past unswervingly, I screamed in pain, and was forcibly dragged away by Brother Chengxin.
After so many years, the pain is still so clear, so clear that when I think about it, I feel like I am drowning in the pain of that year again.
"Guarding the tomb, where are you guarding it?" The master couldn't react for a moment. He couldn't imagine how Ruxue became the tomb guard.
"The burial place of the real dragon skeleton." I had nothing to hide from Master, I answered painfully, burying my head between my knees, as if this was the only way I could relieve the severe pain from my chest.
"Ah? What did you say?" The master suddenly stood up from the rock, with worries on his brows, and then he said in a low voice: "Once upon a time, the real dragon was there, preparing to truly break through the void and return to Kunlun. ! After the failure, the space there is extremely unstable... How can people stay there?"
But, Master, Ruxue just stayed there! A place I can never go to again.
However, before I had time to say anything, my heart suddenly began to throb... A severe throbbing pain. I can't describe this kind of pain, as if two souls were hurting at the same time.
The membrane in my soul began to deform violently, as if something was about to burst out... But I couldn't break free of the membrane for a while.
I couldn't help but moan in pain. In the short few seconds of this drastic change, the words that echoed repeatedly in my mind were: "Does this really have to be like this? Is this the way it must be reincarnated again? In the end ...How many reincarnations will it take to destroy this thing and cut it off?! Oh, how many reincarnations will it take to keep it alive?"