I really wanted to stay the night, but I gritted my teeth and left.
It's not that I don't want to spend more time with my parents, but because I'm afraid that the longer I stay, the more vulnerable I will become and my parents will accidentally notice something. My previous behavior has already made them a little uneasy, so I spent a lot of time. Even though walking out of that door was so cruel, what was even more cruel was that they realized something.
"There are still two days left, and I can spend more time with them." I comforted myself, but my steps were not towards the place where I was staying temporarily, but towards the gate of the snow-capped mountains.
In fact, what I don’t want to admit is my own fragility. Facing the sadness of life and death, I am afraid of answering the silence of that quiet space alone. So, I choose to walk around.
The place where the snow-capped mountains are located is very beautiful, like a piece of pure land on this mysterious plateau. Although it is already night, the bright starry sky is so beautiful that you can't see it anywhere else. It reminds me of the hometown of Tao Tongzi.
I walked slowly on the grassland with my hands behind my back, as if walking on a thick blanket. From time to time, animals that were not afraid of people passed by me, bringing with them a burst of fragrance mixed with green grass and wild flowers. The cool breeze, like in a dream, in the distance, the lake under the starlight reflects the starry sky, and for a while, heaven and earth are indistinguishable.
Such beautiful scenery gradually calmed my mood. In fact, in the torrent of time and the mountains and rivers, I am so insignificant. I am just a drop of water in a long river. Why should I be trapped in the sadness of life and death? Because I am still practicing reincarnation in this long river. As the long river flows, I never stop.
The night wind blew, blowing up the white linen robe I was wearing. It also brought a deep chill in this summer night on the plateau, but I still didn't feel sleepy at all. Even though I had just come out of the underground cave, my body was already very tired.
I want to walk to the lake over there and take a look at the starry sky in the lake
The nearest lake is not very far from the mountain gate of the Snow Mountain Range. It only takes 20 minutes to walk there. Although the night here is bright, the distance that can be seen at night is limited. It was not until I almost reached the lake that I discovered that there was There seemed to be a figure standing on the big rock on the other side of the lake.
who is it? It was also a night like this, and I was generally not sleepy. When I came here to see the lakes and mountains, I felt a little curious. If we were both worried, we might be able to chat and comfort each other.
This can be regarded as a fate. Will it be the last fate in my life? I laughed to myself and walked over there.
The night on the plateau is so clear, without rain, but the wind is very strong. Under that big rock, my clothes are fluttering, and the people on top of the big rock also have their clothes fluttering.
The starlight flowing all over the sky is extremely beautiful, but my heart seems to have stopped for a beat at this moment. Time has stopped at the moment when our eyes collide. The starlight all over the sky has dimmed at this moment. In my eyes, there is only the one on the rock. The figure, the eyes that I can no longer see through.
This is the last fateful person in my life. This person is the person I must meet at the beginning of my life. Because of the fate and debt in my previous life, I have been destined to be with her since I was born. There was a struggle.
I didn't expect that during an unintentional walk, I would meet her - Ruxue - by the lake.
At this moment, Dao Tongzi's sleeping will was a little loose, as if it would suddenly appear in the next moment, but it finally returned to silence, but the pervasive heartache mixed with my heartache has filled my heart.
I didn't know how to speak, I just stared at her quietly, I hope she can understand the thousands of words in my eyes at this moment. At the same time, I also started to laugh at myself, obviously there are so many things to say, obviously I thought about what I would do after thousands of reunions, but at this moment, it turned into absolute silence.
"Are you here too?" I didn't expect that it was Ruxue who spoke first, her voice as clear and calm as ever, as if we had never been separated and she was just saying hello to me.
"Well, here we come." She said this. At this moment, even if I had a lot of words to burst out in my throat and was about to blurt out, I was held back by Ruxue's gentle words, and turned into I said, um, here it comes.
It's like we were supposed to have this conversation in the first place.
After this sentence, we were silent for a short time, as if a certain emotion had reached a certain level, and people were speechless and could only immerse themselves in their own emotions and could not express them.
The wind blows her long hair like snow. She is no longer dressed like she was in the Miao village. Now she is wearing a white linen robe unique to the snow-capped mountains. Her black hair is spread casually without any decoration. She looks more like a fairy from the world. .
The wind is also flying in my short hair, but it seems to be blowing up bits and pieces of memories from those years, all flying in front of my eyes: the coldness when I first met, the struggle and torture when I was moved, carrying my life on my back in the underground secret passage, and being behind the sunset window. The confusion I felt when I was combing my long hair, and the gentle stream of light dancing in my ears. I promised to watch a movie once every winter in the snow-covered forest. The slightest intimacy and lingering. When we finally parted, the loneliness was unyielding. Looking back
I am a little crazy. Countless women overlap with the current one. She is still the most important and unforgettable woman in my life, and I have been entangled with her for two lives - Ruxue.
"Do you want to come up? The scenery is even better here." In this silence, Ruxue spoke again.
"Yeah." I also recovered from the fragments of memories and jumped up, jumped on the big stone, and then seemingly calmly walked towards Ruxue step by step, standing side by side with her.
This moment was so peaceful. In fact, only I knew how violent my heartbeat was with each step. I was afraid that this was a dream. When I walked in, Ruxue disappeared in front of me again.
After half a year of lingering and lifelong love, I thought I could bear such consequences. In fact, until now, I know that there are no consequences at all, and I don’t have to bear them. From the moment I fell in love, my fate was destined, and fate is Every day of my life, I just walk through it like this.
And in the end, as long as I can say I have no regrets, that's enough.
Ruxue has not disappeared. This time, she is really beside me. When I get closer step by step, I really want to be able to step closer and hug her. How great would that be? But I just ended up side by side with her.
I don't want to be pretentious and say that I am satisfied now, but when her smell is still so familiar to my nose, I feel that really, this is satisfied.
"Isn't it beautiful?" Ruxue suddenly asked.
"Yes." Standing on the rock, you can have a panoramic view of the entire lake, and you can also see the starry sky further away. What can't be beautiful
"It has been many years, and I find that compared to you in those years, you seem to be much silent." Ruxue spoke again.
"People will change, it can also be said that they will grow, but some things will not change." I said softly, I think Ruxue understood what I said.
But Ruxue did not answer my words, but looked at the starry sky in the distance and said: "Yes, people will change. I never thought that when I saw you again, you would already be the master of this magical and mysterious place." . Chengyi, what should be celebrated is that you are now more able to shoulder your responsibilities than you were back then."
"Whether I am passive or active, I always have to shoulder the responsibility. I am a disciple of Lao Li's lineage, and this is our fate. If I were willful, you and I shouldn't be like this at this moment, right?" I suddenly said a what if.
The implication of this is that others don’t understand it, but Ruxue must be able to understand it. In fact, whether it is me or her, if there is a trace of willfulness, maybe I am already her husband, and she is also my wife. At this moment, we are No matter what he is doing, it will definitely not be a life and death battle like now.
I don't understand why Ruxue appears here. It may be through the broken space, but the reason for appearing, I think, must be related to this war. If it is because of her, she should not. There is only one reason - she is not willful enough.
I'm not the same, but what's even more painful is that I'm not willful enough or cool enough. If I were cool enough, I should let it go, just like my master, right
This topic of mine became a bit sharp between us. Ruxue was silent for a while. The night wind became stronger. Just like back then, her long hair would often sweep across my cheeks. But the reason why it was back then was that it represented That is to say, there is no going back.
I didn’t want the atmosphere to go down in such an awkward silence. I was only three days old, and I wanted to stay with Ruxue for a while longer, so I spoke softly: “Didn’t you just say that you should celebrate me for being able to carry more? Yet?"
"Huh?" Ruxue obviously didn't understand the meaning behind my sudden change of topic.
"As an old friend, would you like to celebrate for me?" I suddenly turned around and looked at Ruxue, as if the passing years had not left many traces on her face. Looking at this picture, I was haunted by dreams. My face, my heart started to hurt inexplicably.
Ruxue looked at me silently, waiting for my next words. The emotions in her eyes were hidden so deeply that I couldn't see anything.
"Flying light" I said seemingly calmly, but my memories were brought back to that last afternoon by the lake full of maple leaves.