"Why?" Facing my question, Lu Shan fell silent, as if he was very unwilling to recall this period, and the look on his face showed pain.
And I was silent... Opening wounds is not something that everyone can face directly. I also decided that if Lu Shan was unwilling to talk about this part, I would not listen.
But after Lu Shan smoked two cigarettes in silence, he finally spoke: "That year, I was 20 years old, and it had been more than 3 years, almost 4 years since I entered Lagang Monastery... I said it before I am very talented, maybe I inherited it from my parents who disappeared mysteriously, but I never saw Pema in the first two years of entering the monastery."
"Huh?" When Lu Shan described his entry into Lagang Temple before, he did not mention Pema. When he said this, I only remembered this, so I was full of questions.
"It's because, although I had outstanding talents at that time, I was not qualified to see the Holy Son and the Holy Lady... It was not until the third year of entering the temple that Lagang Temple prepared a mysterious sacrificial activity, and I did not see them. Baima also met Tao Bo." Lu Shan licked his lips and told me this section.
"What mysterious sacrificial activities?" Originally, the key point of this paragraph was definitely not any sacrificial activities, but I don't know why I intuitively wanted to grasp this point.
"Oh, I can't explain this... You know that every religion has its own inheritance and culture. The culture of Tibetan Buddhism also believes in various Buddhas of Western Bliss, while Taoism has its own The various immortals and gods... And that sacrifice..." Lu Shan frowned slightly when he said this, and then organized his words and said: "I feel that the sacrifice is not what Buddhism believes in, but is somewhat close to Taoist culture. Some of the things mentioned... The sacrifice is said to be a sacrifice to some immortal gods who came out of a mysterious place. In short, it is the biggest secret of Lagang Temple. I don't know much."
Lu Shan shook his head when he said this... But my heartbeat was beating too obviously... It seemed that some scattered clues were taking shape in my mind, and suddenly The closed Lagang Temple was originally a kind and sincere temple, and the greatest lama ever walked out of it... Transformed such an evil temple, and in Lu Shan's narrative, almost all evildoers were committed... Even his beliefs have changed a bit here.
However, I couldn't draw any conclusion for a while, but Lu Shan asked me from the side: "What's wrong?"
"It's okay, you continue." At this time, I believed in the magic of fate even more. Lu Shan and Tao Bo, who seemed to have nothing to do with us, broke into our lives rashly. Looking at it now, where are they? so? Destiny appears to everyone in life? Which one is not entangled with cause and effect? Which one doesn’t have its own mysterious meaning
Lu Shan didn't know what I was feeling, but continued: "At that meeting, I was finally qualified to see the mysterious priest... It was also at that time that I saw Baima in full dress, and Standing next to her is Tao Bai, who has grown up again. He is almost 10 years old, and he is also dressed in fine clothes... Standing around the two of them are the most powerful senior officials of Lagang Temple, and their expressions are also respectful."
"Then have you and Baima recognized each other?" I asked. After so many years of hard pursuit, how excited should you be when you meet? If it were me, I would definitely not be able to help shouting that I was born, and then rush up to recognize each other. I was looking forward to this scene, so I asked Lu Shan.
Lu Shan shook his head and said: "How can we recognize each other? When she was dressed up, she stood so holy on the high platform, just like a real goddess from heaven descending to earth... And I am just an ordinary practicing monk in Lagang Temple, and She has strict rules and precepts, even if the monks of Lagang Temple don't abide by them in private, but... She is a saint, do I dare to have any blasphemous thoughts? Chengyi, I am not as chic as you, maybe you care Whether you are a beggar or an emperor, you may be the same as before. In this regard, you Lao Li people seem not to be burdened by worldly favors...but I really can't."
"You mean, the moment you saw Baima, you felt ashamed again just like when you first saw her as a child?" I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows and asked, indeed, in my heart I couldn't Understand Lu Shan’s mentality. Lu Shan summed up the characteristics of our Lao Li lineage. Is he really right? This is also what Master has taught me about equality since I was a child. I should have a heart of awe for everything, so everything is equally equal in our eyes.
"Yes, that kind of mentality... made me very excited for a while, but I didn't dare to recognize each other. In the past, Baima and I got closer to each other, and it took a long time to eliminate the distance between us. But when she appeared in front of me dressed up, the invisible distance widened again... So, in such an excited situation, I didn't dare to recognize Baima. But, after so many years of missing her, How could the friendship be fake? In the end, I mustered up the courage and was ready to call Baima's name..." When Lu Shan said this, he paused and became a little excited, as if he had returned to that time. , the scene where I saw Baima again.
"So, what's Baima's attitude?" It turns out that we finally recognized each other. I was very curious about what Baima's attitude would be like when he saw Lu Shan who was really pursuing her.
"Oh, we didn't recognize each other." Lu Shan denied me at this time. Without waiting for me to ask, he continued: "Actually, Baima discovered me at the first time. When I wanted to recognize each other, , she looked at me and said nothing, but I could understand the warning in Baima's eyes, telling me not to recognize her. Even when no one was paying attention, she shook her head gently at me. .”
"Is that so? But what about Tao Bo? For such a young child, he may not know anything. Wouldn't he be excited to recognize you?" I asked.
"Tao Bai was led by Baima... He naturally recognized me. When I saw him, he almost called me, but then I didn't know why, but he didn't say anything anymore... At that moment , I don’t know what Baima did?” Lu Shan shook his head and said that Tao Bai didn’t recognize him at that time.
"Has Pema already noticed something is wrong with Lagang Temple?" I couldn't help but ask, otherwise such behavior would be too weird.
"No, Pema didn't notice anything wrong with Lagang Temple at all... If I were older and entered Lagang Temple earlier, what if..." This point seemed to poke Lushan's pain point, and he suddenly changed. He was in great pain. On such a night, when I turned around, I saw that his entire face was flushed and the veins on his neck were bulging out due to this pain.
"What's going on?" I couldn't help but ask.
"It was Baima who wanted to protect me... The year she said goodbye to me, she officially became a high-ranking saint. And what is a saint? She is naturally a holy and flawless existence... Not to mention Lagang On the surface of the temple, there are precepts for us practicing lamas. As for her status as a saint, how can she allow her to have friendship with a lama like me... Although this kind of relationship, Pema and I have never talked about it. It's like friendship and companionship, but the Saint is aloof and can't approach anyone." Lu Shan explained to me.
"But, you had been getting along for five years before. Didn't Lagang Monastery know about it?" I was very surprised. Since Lagang Monastery cared so much about Pema, how could it have been five years like that
"Oh, I know... But those five years were specially for Pema to practice and enter the world... I don't dare to let Pema do this when he is older, for fear that Pema will really After all, there were not so many worldly feelings when she was a child. And Pema and her brother cannot be separated... Therefore, during the five years that Pema practiced like that, she actually left Lagang Monastery. , lived on the grassland, accompanied by several powerful people, but they did not monitor them. They just let nature take its course for five years. They would only show up after notifying them in a special way when Baima was in danger." Lu Shan said. I explained.
"So good?" I simply can't imagine that Lagang Monastery allowed the saint to be so indulgent for five years.
"Good? What do you mean by good? That's because they need purer souls, not ignorant souls... Do you know what I mean? The people over at Lagang Temple believe that only when you enter the world and see time Only a suffering saint can fully inspire compassion and pity for the world. Only in this way can the soul be more holy and pure... And God bless such a compassionate person, so her soul power will be even stronger." Lu. Shan explained this to me, and when he said this, his fists were already clenched.
"So that's it." Seeing Lu Shan like this, I didn't dare to ask any more questions. I could only say this lightly. I felt that Lu Shan's pain and hatred were like a burning fire. I sat on his bed. Everyone nearby felt the pain that burned their souls.
"Anyway, that's what's behind the matter... And Pema stopped me from getting to know her. In fact, it left a deep wound in my heart at that time. I thought that when Pema said goodbye to me, not only It was the separation between me and her, and she was actually saying goodbye to the friendship between me and her... We have not recognized each other since then, but even so, how can I forget the warmth and hope she brought to me... and brought me the initial throbbing, leaving traces engraved in the depths of my soul. Therefore, despite the pain, I still did not have the courage to leave Lagang Temple... After Pema and I met for the first time, because of my We can often see status, but it has completely turned into a relationship between an ordinary practicing trumpet and a high-ranking saint. This pain... lasted for more than a year, and when I was 20 years old, It has been four years since I entered Lagang Monastery, and everything has changed." Lu Shan's hands began to tremble.
"What change happened?" I was actually still imagining Lu Shan's pain at that time, but I didn't expect that things had changed again.
"Lagang Temple is going to hold the largest sacrificial event, which is also known as the most sacred event... In that event, the declared slogan is to make the saint eternal and let her mercy shine in the world forever. "Lu Shan's face was distorted, and he gasped for air when he said this.
And I suddenly felt like I couldn't bear to listen... I had foreseen that this would be a tragic tragedy.