I have been thinking before that if I don’t shed tears, I am too mature and have forgotten how to shed tears.
But in fact, I actually shed tears. My first reaction was to cover it up subconsciously, and wiped away the tears on my face... When was the last time I cried loudly? Even if I see Master again, I will just cry silently... I can't remember it. Was it when I saw the message left by Master in Lao Linzi
"The wind is so strong, it really blows my eyes." I turned my head and whispered. At this time, I always feel that expressing my feelings too much is a very disgusting thing.
Master didn't say anything... Maybe he also knew what kind of state of mind I should experience when I grow up to this age.
"Chengyi, you really must live..." The tears just now caused the atmosphere to become silent. It was only after a long time that Master said such words to me.
"Master, you want me to live... Why don't you say the same thing to yourself? We are cultivators and we should look down on life, old age, illness and death... Even Zhuangzi once felt happy because of the death of his wife... because he thought it was The state of nature is reincarnation, the way of heaven...Master, according to your opinion, your life is coming to an end, and I should even hold a funeral for you, because you, Jiang Lichun, have been in this world for nearly a hundred years, and you have always had some bottom lines. , the righteousness has never been lost. This time I go... I am going to a better place. If there is reincarnation in the next life, it will also be a perfect life... Maybe even this time I can get rid of the pain of reincarnation. . " At this point, my voice became a little trembling, and I couldn't control it at all... I could only take Master's dry cigarette and take a deep breath.
But this obviously fragrant breath was so spicy when I breathed it in my mouth. Like countless times before, if I breathed too hard, I would still choke and cough.
"Silly boy... the way of smoking dry tobacco is different from that of smoking cigarettes, ***, if you are good at it, don't learn from it, just do this..." The master said and couldn't help but slap me on the head. This is the last time we A familiar way of getting along, even if there are only ten minutes left in life, this way may still happen.
Habit is a terrible thing. Sometimes it is almost instinctive and can transcend all emotions... joy, sadness... At such a sad time, Master and I are still like this. This is a habit.
I felt that I was really a bitch. I was so sad that I couldn't speak and my voice was trembling. But after Master slapped me like this... I felt relieved. Only when people feel reassured can they feel confident. The words that I couldn't say before were gone. It became smoother.
"Master, do you think it should be like this? Right? But... forgive me, forgive my selfishness... Even if there is reincarnation, it cannot give comfort to people in this life, because all your bonds and emotions have remained. What does this life have to do with the next? Master... You want me to live well, why don't I want you to live well, for a few more years... You know we just got together, and then we escaped all the way... . Now, I have settled down in the snow-capped mountains, and I have to face the war again... But, do you know how much I hope to live the life we had before, even if..." At this point, my emotions I'm so excited, I don't even know if my scattered sentences can express my meaning clearly.
However, the person I am facing is Master, the person who has known me best since I was a child. He must have understood what I was saying, or two familiar wisps of dry smoke came out of his nose, and his expression also showed He couldn't tell whether it was sadness or forced calm. He just said in a low voice: "The most unforgettable thing is the past, the years when we were dependent on each other... Even if you do this, your state of mind will be different. Why not just keep it in your heart? Then? It’s enough.”
"Master..." I was very anxious. I still believed as I did when I was young that as long as Master is willing, there is nothing that can't be solved. What I'm afraid of is that he has already made up his mind.
Since we are masters and disciples, we always have something to imagine... and the biggest similarity is that we are both too stubborn.
"Chengyi, Tao follows nature, everything is under nature, birth, old age, illness and death are natural..." Master said to me calmly.
I suddenly stood up excitedly and shouted to Master: "No, I won't let you go!"
I didn't expect that it had happened so many years ago in the deserted village... Once again, I stood in front of Master and shouted out such a sentence. Every time, it was somewhat willful and stubborn, and I couldn't be persuaded. Stubbornness... But isn't it my sincerity
"Chengyi, if you don't let go, it will fall from your hands... Why do you need to tear each other apart? If the feelings are serious, just keep them in your heart... Just keep them in your memories! Sometimes you have them The value does not lie in not letting go of your words, don’t you understand?” Seeing me yelling such a sentence again, Master was stunned for a moment, then a look of recollection appeared on his face, and then he stood up and calmly Facing me with an excited expression.
The wind blew between us master and disciple again... It made the corners of our clothes rustle. This was a silent confrontation, and what collided was the mutual stubbornness between us master and disciple.
But I know very well that in this process, I only relied on my inner feelings and perseverance... If we talk about right or wrong, what Master said is truly correct.
Gradually, my body became weak. Suddenly I supported myself with both hands and fell to my knees. Master only had one year left. This news took away a huge support in my heart and I could never stand up again. Fatigue, almost at this moment, permeated my body.
"Do you think what I said is right?" But Master has no sympathy for me like this. He knows that he needs to give me time to digest it.
My hands gripped the gravel on the ground tightly, and my fingertips felt a twinge of pain. I knew Master was right, but whether he was right or not had nothing to do with whether I accepted it or not. Now I felt that it had nothing to do with it. My voice was low. , just buried his head and asked: "Master, tell me what exactly one year of life is about?"
"It's very simple. Under the suppression of the god in Guidawan, we should have been dead long ago... What we got should be the effect of souls leaving the body and then being scattered... At the critical moment, it was your master's The remnant soul dedicates part of its power to resist the suppressive formation, and at the same time forcibly suppresses our souls in the body... and nourishes our souls from being destroyed by the formation... It's just..." said At this point, the master sighed.
"Just what?" I remembered the altar and the mysterious formations on the altar, which were the naturally formed heaven formations. I just added a touch, and almost... Master and the others... After being suppressed under such a formation, everyone came out as if nothing was wrong. Is that so
My eyes turned red. In an instant, I hated the remnant soul of Kunlun, that god to the extreme... But, how should I hate him? He has... been killed by me with my own hands, and then sealed into the Sky Pattern Stone... just the Sky Pattern Stone! !
I raised my head all of a sudden, and the anger in my chest almost burned me out... We finally escaped from Guida Bay, leaving Yang Sheng to fight with the ghost cultivators there. I don't know the result... because we also There is no way to get a result... However, I know clearly that Yang Sheng's strength has greatly increased since he came back...
Could it be that... I don't know who I should hate, but on the top of this mountain, I roared: "Yang Sheng!!"
"Chen Chengyi!" But at this moment, Master suddenly looked at me seriously and roared angrily.
I was startled by Master's voice, and my heart, which had been filled with hatred, suddenly came to my senses... Cold sweat instantly covered my forehead, and Master looked at me and said, "You are going to put on a show." What kind of drama is this? In front of your master, is your heart seduced by hatred and going crazy? "
I looked at Master, and I was afraid... Cold sweat wet my back all of a sudden. Taoists must have a bottom line and be clear about right and wrong, rather than love and hate in terms of state of mind... Right and wrong should be ranked before love and hate. In the past, if you wanted to let love and hate dominate right and wrong, you would have fallen into inner demons.
Whether it is love or hate, we cannot be dominated by these emotions... Otherwise, according to Taoism, it is an obsession with the state of mind! No matter how much I hate someone or love someone, it should be based on right and wrong. Behind right and wrong lies cause and effect... Unless I think I know right and wrong, and can restrain love and hate, and bear cause and effect... You can do what you want.
These three sentences are simple to say, but in fact, once faced, they may be a lifelong matter, just like if you accept the life of a dog and let it accompany you, all you have to do is be responsible for its life...
I thought about a lot at once. Looking at Master, I almost went into an extreme and deviated state of mind at this moment. I was really ashamed.
Taking a deep breath, I sat down again and said to Master: "Master, I understand, please continue. I want to know everything about this matter... And why does Grandma Ling Qing...?" Yes, this is what I have always wondered, why is Ling Qing's condition so special... and Master said she has more than one year to live.
"On that day, the remnant soul of your ancestor tried his best... He gave me a choice, spend half of my strength to break this formation, or continue to maintain it like this, but it can only delay it for two days. Years of time, but relatively speaking, your master’s remnant soul power will be consumed less.” Master did not answer my question directly, but told me such a past event.
"Master... did you choose second place?" My face suddenly turned pale. I was hating myself and why I left too late.
"Yes... because the remnant soul of your master is the biggest trump card in the last battle, and is the reason for opening up the great era... Do you know what you will face in the last battle? And your grandma Ling Qing is... ..." When the master said this, he sighed lightly.
Then he changed the topic inexplicably, looked at me, and his eyes became a little helpless and said to me: "Chengyi, do you remember that night? Remember that we returned to the bamboo forest house, and I watched you take a bath in the fragrant soup. That night?"