Decisions about future directions are the best way to calm existing grief.
At this moment, I still miss Master, but I know that I will pursue Master in the future. With this goal, the grief will not be so obvious and it will allow me to survive many years.
For another example, for Ruxue, in the future we have decided to bless each other and love each other without regrets, then the pain will slowly fade away with calmness, because we have no regrets in our hearts.
Just as Uncle Hui accidentally said when chatting with Master a long time ago: "Life is a process of living. The ending that God wants you to see is of course not death, but whether your state of mind can reach a certain state when you die. , to put it more clearly, the process of life is a kind of experience.”
Therefore, whether I can find Master or meet Ruxue in the end is not the key to the matter, but that my life has a new direction. The moment I close my eyes, I have experienced it and my heart is peaceful.
This is the real best thing to do, and let Tianming live in peace.
I looked at Master's handwriting and was stunned for a while. I put away the sadness and replaced it with calmness, and then walked towards the futon in the room. Of course I didn't understand the meaning of Master's writing. Of course I understood.
I picked up the futon and pulled off the yellow cloth on the futon. I saw that the middle of the futon was indeed hollowed out. There was a whisk in the futon. I was very familiar with this whisk. It was a magic weapon left by the master. , there is a special metal chain embedded in the whisk, and it is used in conjunction with the thirty-six movements of the whisk. It is an extremely powerful magic weapon, and it is also the most "proud" magic weapon of the master. Now he actually hides it in the futon. , left to me.
I was already calm, but looking at this fly whisk, I felt sad again. Just as I thought, Master cares about me after all, just like a father facing a persistent person who doesn't act according to his own opinions. Even if my son is angry and helpless, he still feels sorry for his son. He will quietly stuff a wad of money into his son's luggage for a long trip. In this way, he silently expresses, I don't approve of you, but dad will always love you. Support you and care about you.
I silently put away the fly whisk, and took a deep breath. The cold air in my mouth was just right to soothe some of the emotions in my heart. At least I understood that my heart was comforted. Master said nothing at that time. My anger has been gently brushed away by this whisk.
I calmly put down the fly whisk, turned around, held Ruxue's hand, and said, "Let's go, I'll give you another ride."
Ruxue moved closer to me, letting me hold her, and hummed softly.
Brother Chengxin sighed and remained silent without saying anything. The tragedy or comedy of love can only be seen by others. The real taste is like drinking water, knowing whether it is warm or cold.
What you feel sorry for may not be felt by others; what you feel happy may not be felt by others.
Brother Chengxin understands this. Sighing without comment is the best attitude.
The three of us walked out of this quiet room in silence. The remaining distance was only three to five meters away. I just held Ruxue's hand tighter and tighter, and she responded to me in the same way.
We all understand the truth, but it still takes some time to be sad. No one can achieve a complete balance between emotion and rationality, as long as he or she is emotional.
There are no longer bright lights here. In the darkness, our footsteps echoed in this corridor, and soon we came to the screen wall. We did not stop, silently bypassed the screen wall and continued moving forward.
Behind the screen wall, there is another corridor, but it is only ten meters away. There is only one long light on alone, making the entire corridor dim and dark, with an unreal psychedelic feel.
And this little light no longer affects our ability to see the bronze door at the end of the corridor, which is tightly closed.
Insects are flying behind Ruxue, just like there is a large dark cloud behind the three of us. But even if it is a real dark cloud, it turns into rain, but it cannot harmonize with the sadness in my heart. It is indescribable. I just had to endure it and say nothing.
Walking hand in hand on this corridor, I said to Ruxue as calmly as possible: "Is this the last stretch of road that you and I can walk side by side in this life?"
"Maybe, or maybe not. I didn't say something to you just now, but now I can't let it go. I can't help but tell you again. If you really can't forget it, just keep it in your heart, but you can still live a peaceful, happy and peaceful life. , this is my blessing to you." Ruxue said softly.
I held Ruxue's hand a little harder, not looking at Ruxue, but just staring at the bronze door getting closer and closer, and said: "I know, and I also believe in one sentence, even if the sky collapses one day, Even if the ground sinks, it can't change the fact that I love you and love you deeply. It remains in time. I don't complain or hate. This is enough. I have given you many years of my life. During those years, there was only one girl named Ruxue in my heart."
"That's great." Ruxue said quietly, but in a blink of an eye we were already in front of the bronze gate.
Ruxue looked at me with a smile on her lips. I looked at Ruxue with the same smile. Since we were about to say goodbye, why couldn't we give each other a smile, even a sad smile.
"I'm leaving." Ruxue said to me.
"You once said, what ending can we have? I said that a person's life is death from birth. If you can't die at the same time in the same year, the same month, the same day, then the ending is either separation or death, so the time together is the ending. Ruxue , we have an ending now, right?" I looked at Ruxue and said, even though I was smiling, my throat felt sore.
"Well, it's the end. For many years, you loved me and I loved you, and we were the only ones. The difference is that we didn't die at that time. When the world saw it, they thought it was not the end, but what's the point? What's important is that for the two of us, this is the ending, and we are very happy and have no regrets." When she said this, Ruxue's hand gently touched my face.
I held Ruxue's hand, finally pulled her into my arms, hugged her tightly, and whispered: "Actually, I am always unwilling to give up. I can't let you go."
"Are we still waiting for the time when you are willing to give up?" Ruxue said in a rare 'naughty' way, and quietly let me hold her. After a while, she left my arms, looked at me and said seriously: "Chengyi, I have to leave."
"Yeah." Finally, tears welled up in my eyes, as did Ruxue.
"You go back along the original path and after climbing the stairs, you will walk out of this place. I got this information just now in the quiet room." Ruxue said to me softly.
I nodded and looked at the ceiling, desperately holding back tears.
"Chengyi, I have a request." Ruxue continued.
"Um?"
"Wait a moment. Once you open this door, turn around and leave. Don't look back."
"Why?" Even though I tried my best to hold it back, my tears still fell from my eyes. The sadness at this moment was like a sea, and I was a drowning person. I could only let it surround me overwhelmingly, and I could only Can sink into it.
"Before, you and Brother Chengxin sang a few lyrics. You were very sad. You didn't want to see my back. So, in the end, I didn't want to leave a back to you. You just remember what I am now. Let me do it." When Ruxue said this, her tears fell silently, but her voice was as calm as ever.
I didn't answer. I didn't know if I could be so cruel as to not look back.
But Ruxue was no longer willing to wait any longer and said softly to me: "Open the door."
After saying that, she started to push the door. I gritted my teeth and let the tears and snot run down my face. I lowered my head and helped Ruxue push the door with Brother Chengxin.
I thought the door was very heavy, but it was not as heavy as we thought. In fact, I was unwilling to push it open, so I wished it was heavier.
Opening this door is like opening a door in the lives of Ruxue and I. Inside and outside the door, we can no longer be a couple who can just let ourselves fall in love. Everyone is on their way.
'Boom...' Finally, with a dull sound, we pushed the bronze door open. At that moment, I smelled an indescribable smell that should belong to the vicissitudes of life. The insect cloud behind us couldn't wait to fly in.
And when I looked up, I was shocked by what was behind the door. Is that the 'universe'? Or maybe not, because there are no stars, only thick darkness, with an indescribable twist and mystery, just appeared in front of my eyes. With the light behind me, I can't even see through this darkness. I don't know. What kind of existence is inside, how big and broad it is.
I can only see a shocking existence floating in it - the skeleton of a dragon! Real, the bones of a dragon from Chinese mythology!
I can't describe the feeling at this moment. It's like I'm standing in nothingness. The only thing facing me is the huge skeleton. It seems to be facing me with a huge pressure, but there is no compulsion at all. My feeling is peaceful yet vast!
"Chengyi, let's go." Ruxue said softly, and at the same time let go. I was holding her hand just now.
I'm numb, I can't move!
"Brother Chengxin." Ruxue called softly.
But Brother Chengxin understood, he pulled me over and started walking back. He strangled my neck tightly, pulled my head, pulled me away, and said to me: "Chengyi , don’t look back, listen to Ruxue, otherwise you will be sad and she will be sad too, so don’t look back.”
Won't I look back? Won't I look back? My tears fell down my face in large numbers as if they were free of charge.
I heard the footsteps behind me, and my whole body and my heart seemed to be pulled farther and farther away with the footsteps!
"No!" I yelled, then punched the innocent brother Chengxin hard, broke away from him, and turned around suddenly.
When I looked back, I saw that her figure had slowly disappeared into the darkness behind the door, and it seemed as if the darkness had swallowed her up. There was someone inside the bronze door, and the two doors were slowly moving. of closure.
no, do not want! I felt it was difficult to breathe all of a sudden, and I ran towards the door like crazy. I wanted to pull Ruxue, or I wanted to be with her, I love her so much!
Brother Chengxin hugged me tightly, and his crying voice sounded from behind me: "Chengyi, don't make her feel uneasy! When she becomes heavier and heavier on my back and no longer moves, do you believe me? , I am no less sad than you are."
"Like snow!" I yelled heartbreakingly, and suddenly fell to my knees on the ground. Finally, the sea of sadness had drowned me, and I no longer had the strength to hold back my tears at this time.