Meng Taoyu came back to school to visit Feng Ning several times. She was still the same in college as she was in high school, with a plain face and a pure face.
On Saturday night, they chose a hot pot restaurant.
The soup in the pot was boiling, and Feng Ning watched her little face turn red from the spiciness. She used her main chopsticks to help Meng Taoyu wash the vegetables, put in the meatballs, and cook the meat.
"Ningning, why don't you eat?"
Feng Ning said, "I'm full, you eat, don't worry about me."
Meng Taoyu exclaimed, "I didn't even see you eat a few bites, and now you have such a small appetite."
Feng Ning's face was pale, her complexion was not very good, and her features were much thinner. She took off her coat and wore a blue sweater. I don't know if it was because the collar was too big, but her collarbone was concave, and the whole person looked a little thin and empty.
Meng Taoyu asked based on her intuition: "Ningning, are you feeling unwell?"
"Hmm?" She lied, "A little bit. I had my period these past two days."
"Oh, so, I thought you were in a bad mood."
After saying this, she immediately felt something was wrong. Meng Taoyu vaguely knew about Feng Ning's family situation. She was afraid of touching on the sad things again, so she hurriedly changed the subject, "Don't put too much pressure on yourself. You are so talented, you will definitely be able to get into a good university."
Feng Ning put down his chopsticks and said calmly, "Little friend, when have I ever needed your comfort?"
College students have an earlier holiday than high school students. A few days later, Shuangyao and Zhao Weichen also came together. It was during the break when they arrived. Shuangyao randomly pulled over a girl who was about to enter the class and asked her. She actually responded, "Feng Ning... Is there such a person in our class?"
Shuang Yao was surprised: "Aren't you Class 13?"
She suddenly realized: "Oh, you mean the repeater, right?"
"Yes."
After the girls entered the class, Zhao Weichen was still a little puzzled, "Sister Xiao Ning has changed her personality now, so low-key? The semester is almost over, and there are still people in the class who don't know her."
Feng Ning took a class leave and walked around the campus with them. Before leaving, Zhao Weichen hugged Feng Ning.
Shuang Yao squeezed her hand, "You still have us."
Zhao Weichen: "Sister Xiaoning, no matter how much time passes, you will always be my idol."
Feng Ning smiled.
No one can see the shackles beneath her smile.
The impression of Feng Ning in the senior class "13" was that she was cold and indifferent, taciturn, and kept to herself. No one connected this introverted ice beauty with the girl who was so dazzling at the opening ceremony.
The head teacher of this class should have consulted Iron Lady to learn about Feng Ning's situation in advance, and knew that her grades were always among the best in the grade before she dropped out of school. She was diligent and smart, so she took good care of her in every aspect. However, Feng Ning skipped the second year of high school and went straight to the third year. At the beginning, she had a hard time keeping up with the progress of her studies, and her grades were always outside the top 100.
Under heavy pressure in their senior year of high school, girls would also use their break time to talk about all kinds of gossip.
Occasionally, Feng Ning could hear Jiang Wen's name being mentioned by them.
His photo was hung in the glass case next to the honor roll, forever frozen in his 17-year-old look. He wore a blue and white school uniform, had short black hair, and clear facial features, quietly staring at everyone who passed by.
From the moment he opened his eyes in the morning, Feng Ning started to work numbly like a machine that was forcibly wound up. Until night came, the rotating screw was turned to the last turn. Feng Ning lay on the bed, his mind became very quiet and blank. He closed his eyes and felt himself sinking, sinking, until he slowly disappeared from this world.
The winter break of her senior year in high school was the coldest and slowest winter in Feng Ning's memory. She seemed to become silent and frozen with the season.
On the first day of the Lunar New Year, the atmosphere of the Spring Festival was very strong. After sweeping Qi Lan's grave, Feng Ning didn't want to go home, so he took a bus to the busiest square in the south city.
There were two children aged six or seven fighting over toys. Feng Ning walked around the square twice and sat down nearby. She listened to the wandering singer playing guitar and singing a few love songs. She then threw a coin into his bowl.
Feng Ning stood at the bus stop, looking at every forked route and every location on the sign. She didn't know where to go, and she had no destination.
The next bus to stop was route 425, the most frequent bus in the city.
Feng Ning got on the bus, holding a candied haws, and using one hand to feel for money in her pocket. There were not many people on the bus, and there were a few empty seats.
After walking a few steps back, Feng Ning suddenly slowed down his pace for some reason.
The person sitting by the window turned his head at the same time and looked over here without blinking.
Many years later, Feng Ning's impression of Jiang Wen remained here.
It seemed like only a few tens of seconds, but she remembered the scene, all of it, every detail.
The car was heated and the windows were fogged up. He was sitting alone in the second to last row. The melting snow had wet the ground beneath his feet, and the shops outside were playing New Year songs. Jiang Wen's hair had grown a little longer, and the ends of his hair were fine and covered his eyebrows. He was still wearing a dark blue coat.
Very cold color.
When their eyes met, she was stunned for a moment, then stopped in her tracks. She opened her mouth, but her throat seemed to be blocked by a ball of cotton.
No sound... could be made.
Jiang Wen lowered his eyelashes.
Feng Ning said nothing in the end. He lowered his head, slowly turned around, and found a place to sit down.
They were sitting one after the other in the same car, several rows apart, in silence.
The bus reached a fork in the road, the green light came on, and it turned a corner and arrived at the next stop. Soon, many people got on, adults holding children, and the crowd swayed, filling up the empty seats.
There were people standing in the aisle.
After two more stops, Feng Ning stood up, walked through the crowded crowd, and got off the bus.
She stepped on the manhole cover, making a slight sound.
The clouds were gray, and a gust of wind blew from somewhere, lifting up the strands of hair that hung around the waist.
Not long after, there was another noise behind him. Feng Ning kept walking along the huge street without looking back.
After the New Year, one day in April, Feng Ning received a call from Zhao Linlin. He asked, "Feng Ning, how are you doing recently?"
She stopped writing and said, "I'm fine."
"Oh, that's good, that's good."
"Where is Jiang Wen? How is he?"
"Jiang Wen..." Zhao Binlin hesitated for a moment, "He's pretty good too. He just got offers from a few Ivy League schools and has already dropped out and is preparing to go abroad."
Hearing this news, Feng Ning was a little confused. He was stunned for a while, but soon recovered, "Really? So hasty."
Zhao Binlin was a little surprised, "He didn't tell you?"
"He changed his cellphone number and we haven't been in touch for a long time." Feng Ning said frankly.
Zhao was almost stuck, and then he added, "I thought he at least wanted to say goodbye to you or something."
Feng Ning was stunned.
There is a scene that is about to emerge in my mind.
Suddenly she thought of that day. On the first day of the Lunar New Year, she met Jiang Wen on bus No. 425.
She didn't ask, nor did she look back.
It was not known how long he had been sitting there before this, nor was it known whether he followed her out of the car afterwards.
Maybe... that was his unspoken goodbye.
"That's it for now, I'll continue studying."
"Goodbye, good luck."
"OK."
Feng Ning supported his chin with one hand and scribbled unconsciously on the draft paper. When he focused again, a rough outline had already been drawn on the paper.
A drunken peacock.
After a while, Feng Ning quietly completed the details.
Write a line of English below.
—apologizemy little prince
For some reason, tears suddenly fell, falling on the paper and quickly spreading.
The last memory of senior year in high school is frozen in this moment, stuck in this tear.
Shuangyao was the first person to know that Fengning was ill.
—When she was cleaning with Feng Ning, she found only half a box of fluoxetine left in the drawer.
On the way to the hospital, Shuangyao held her hand and said firmly: "Fengning, you can't be unlucky all your life. It won't be worse than it is now. As long as you get through it, everything will be fine. Your good luck is saved for the second half of your life."
Life is indeed getting better and better.
East Street was cleaned up for the second time, and many people were thrown into prison. Meng Hanmo got out early, bought a few shops, opened a barbecue restaurant, and a car repair shop.
Feng Ning did well in the college entrance examination. After the results came out, the Iron Lady chose the most popular major for her at Imperial Capital University of Foreign Languages. In the first semester of her sophomore year, Zhao Huiyun helped Feng Ning make some small investments. She finally paid off her debts and didn't have to work day and night to make money.
After going to college, Feng Ning changed her WeChat account. Zhao Binlin also went to college in the capital, and their schools were close to each other, so he would occasionally come to have a meal with her.
But neither of them mentioned Jiang Wen.
Late one night in his junior year, Feng Ning received a call from an unfamiliar number before falling asleep.
"Hello," she said.
There is no sound over there.
Wrong number
Feng Ning was not mentally prepared and looked at the number again, "Hello? Is anyone there?"
Still no movement.
The roommate was playing games downstairs and looked back at her. "What's wrong? Who's calling?"
Feng Ning shook his head and whispered, "I don't know."
The silence continued, but Fengning did not hang up the phone, his breathing was suppressed.
I don’t know how long it was, maybe two minutes, or maybe ten, before the other end hung up the phone.
No one spoke a word from beginning to end. She lay on the bed, staring at the pattern on the bed curtains.
After a while, Feng Ning got out of bed, put on his shoes, went downstairs, and went to a nearby supermarket to buy a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
I walked to the deserted artificial lake and picked an empty chair to sit down.
She has quit smoking for a long time.
When nicotine goes down the trachea into the lungs, the brain experiences a brief dizziness.
It was dark here, with tiny lights floating in the distance. Feng Ning sat in the darkness, smoking one cigarette after another, from a full pack to only a few left.
She held her phone up to her face, opened WeChat, found Zhao Binlin’s circle of friends, and went in.
He didn't set the permissions, so Feng Ning just flipped through the pages casually.
Late last month, he posted a photo locating in New Haven.
The phone screen emits a faint light.
She paused, clicked on the photo and enlarged it.
The sun in the photo was bright, resting on the grass. In front of the old Gothic-style clock tower, Jiang Wen was hooked by Zhao Binlin's neck. He put his hands in his pockets, wearing a blue and white short-sleeved shirt from Yale, and looked at the camera nonchalantly.
The lighter clicked and a small flickering flame came out.
Feng Ning lit another cigarette.
Blue smoke dissipated before my eyes.
She opened the call log, looked at the strange number again, and then deleted it.
Feng Ning stood up, threw the remaining cigarette boxes and lighters into the trash can, and walked along the cobblestone road. She came out in a hurry and didn't put on liquid foundation.
The scars on his arms, which were much thinner than before, were hideous and horrible.
This artificial lake is very small and you can get back to the starting point in just a few steps.
But no matter how she walked, she couldn't reach the starting point she wanted.
Feng Ning suddenly thought that the current situation was not bad.
Time passed and she was tired.
But what Jiang Wen will always remember is her proud look, and that's all.
The author has something to say: It’s almost over the top, the next chapter will jump to the city
Thanks to the fairy who provided the thunder and nutrient solution!