"Soul symbiosis? Hehe, you lied to me time and time again. You lied to me when you approached me. You lied to me by pretending to disappear. You lied to me even more by asking me to save you. This time, you lied to me to come back. For what? For him, or for me to be him?" My voice was muffled by the quilt, and every question I asked hurt my heart.
"Su Muyan, you can know what's on my mind, then you should know, I don't want to see you now, you go!"
The cold air in the air poured into the bed, making my body tremble non-stop.
It's hard to be cheated by someone, and it's even harder to be cheated by the closest person. And Su Muyan made me hate myself even more even when my heart hurts. Only then did I realize that it was my own feelings that I had been afraid to face up to. Because I have never loved anyone before, because it is the first time, worry, fear, and the secular world are all suppressed deep in my heart.
I dare not touch, dare not think, and dare not tell anyone.
In such an age, how can such feelings transcend gender, life and death!
What's more, Su Muyan, she has a fiancé, and everything she does is for that man named Zhou Yang. I was tortured by this answer over and over again, and then repeatedly wanted to extinguish the spark in my heart. In the end, I can only let myself suffer.
Time passed slowly and silently. The moon outside was completely round, and the faint light penetrated the wooden window and sprinkled in the dark room, leaving a cold place.
"Little Jin, I have no choice but to lie to you. Zhou Yang disappeared, and even I couldn't find him. One thing, I really didn't lie to you. I really wanted to find the person who killed me back then. Because I didn't die of illness, as you can see, the blood soul is real.
It now appears that my death may have something to do with that organization. I want to know what happened that year, I want to know whether he is alive or dead. "
I took a deep breath in my heart and sneered, "But none of this has anything to do with me, I'm not Zhou Yang!"
"It does matter!" Su Muyan said resolutely, "If it doesn't matter, why did Chen Maosheng go out of his way to deal with you? This time when he came back, he wanted to use a proper reason to appear in front of you, but in the end..."
"I didn't expect your lies to be exposed in the end."
"Little Jin, I know, I shouldn't lie to you, but I have a reason, but I can't say it yet!"
I helplessly chuckled, "I can't say, how many things are you hiding from me? What exactly do you want from me? Use your fake death to win my self-blame, and then try your best to let me save you. Coming back here now, there must be a reason for all of this! This reason is all about him, isn't it?"
"Yes, but it's not what you think!" Su Muyan sighed, and her tone softened, "The matter between me and him is not what you think! I did all this for..."
Su Muyan hesitated to speak, but only sighed.
To be honest, I don't want to know what her purpose is. After all, I am just a pawn of hers, being manipulated by her. I finally realized how ridiculous it is to be self-indulgent.
"You don't have to be hypocritical in front of me, we don't owe each other now, let's go!"
What I said cruelly, I wished I could slap myself several times. The more entangled, the more struggling, but I understand that I must let myself stop thinking about it earlier.
I closed my eyes and stopped talking, and neither did Su Muyan.
I know she didn't leave. That familiar cold breath came from behind me.
I tried my best to calm my heart, trying not to think of the forbearing feelings in my heart. This process took so long that I almost forgot her existence, until she spoke, breaking the silence that finally fell at night.
"Little Jin, I know you don't believe what I say now, but I never thought you were him!"
My heart tightened, and I raised my head suddenly. Just looking back in the dark, I couldn't see anyone. I got up and lit a candle. The room was illuminated by candlelight, and there was no sign of Su Muyan at all
I looked down at the Blood Soul Jade on my chest, which was emitting a faint white light, with mixed feelings in my heart.
I stretched out my hand to touch the smooth and warm blood soul jade, and suddenly remembered what happened in the past.
So in Fudu Mountain, the person I saw in a poisoned coma was really you! In the illusion, I was confused by the blood soul, and you were the one who came out to help me
Su Muyan, for whom are you trying to lie to me like this! What can I do for you
For a long time, I stared at the blood soul jade without feeling sleepy, but how I fell asleep afterwards, I can't remember. In short, groggy, always struggling in a dream. If Master hadn't called me, I wouldn't have woken up.
"Did you have a nightmare?" Master pushed the door open, looked at the cold sweat on my forehead, and asked with concern.
Then he took a letter out of his pocket and handed it over.
I nodded, "It's probably because too many things happened these days, and I couldn't sleep well at night, so I dreamed! But when I woke up, I didn't remember what I dreamed of."
I wiped the sweat from my brow, but the letter in Master's hand was a bit unexpected.
"Master, where did this letter come from?"
"Beijing!"
"Beijing? Is it Xiao Mi?" My first reaction was my junior sister. I don't know anyone in Beijing. If it was a letter from the department, Master would not show it to me easily.
"Well, girl Xiao Mi, I am so anxious that you go and accompany her. Hehe, I don't know who this temperament resembles." Speaking of this, the master suddenly frowned slightly, as if thinking of something, the smile on his face also dimmed .
I glanced at Master and guessed that Master probably thought of Xiao Mi's parents!
I couldn't wait to open the letter and stared at it word by word.
I was also amused by Xiao Mi's joyful words between the lines! Over the years, I have been very aware of Xiao Mi's temperament. She must not have known about Master's deceiving me.
As for the sorceress, Uncle Black Eagle, they should all know something more or less.
So Xiao Mi is the only one who hasn't lied to me.
Seeing the end of the letter, Xiao Mi said that since Xiaobai left me and was taken to Beijing, he has been against her all day long. That picture, just imagining it, makes me happy.
If it wasn't for the inconvenience of bringing Xiaobai, I would have been reluctant to let Xiaomi take him to Beijing. Long time no see that little guy, I really miss him.
In the end, Xiao Mi said that I must return to Beijing as soon as possible, and she would take me to take a good look around the alleys and alleys in Beijing.
My heart warmed up, and I couldn't help but smile on my face. Fold the letter and put it back in the envelope. Then he asked, "Master, when shall we leave?"
"Let's wait a while!"
"Oh!" I lowered my head and felt a little lost, carefully holding the letter in my hand and looking at it.
But the master smiled and said, "What? What did Xiao Mi say that made you want to find her so much?"
I shook my head hastily, "No, I just miss that girl and Xiaobai."
"Little Jin, in fact, if you leave this time, you don't know when you will come back. So stay a little longer and get together with your mother." Master reminded softly.
It was only then that I realized that I was no longer the ignorant child I was back then. After so many years, I finally came back, and I will leave soon.
At this moment, my mind, which was originally muddled, suddenly became sober. When I was a child, when I heard that I was going to leave home, I might cry secretly. But now, I can only keep it in my heart.
Because of Master's reminder, I went to the kitchen.
Early in the morning, my mother was busy working in front of the stove, and I leaned against the door, staring at her back. The white hair is more than black hair, and the back has been bent by the hardships of the years.
I've never looked at my mother this hard, as most people do. I always feel that time is still long, and there will be many opportunities in the future. But I don't know that time will never stop just because the future is long.
When I was young, I was beaten and scolded by my mother for being naughty. So in my memory, my mother still looks like a young woman. Dressed in floral cloth, no matter how worn the clothes are, my mother will always wash them clean.
I haven't had time to think about it, one day my mother will grow old, one day my mother will need my care, and one day my mother will leave me. Thinking about it now, I am afraid that there will be a day when I may not be able to be with my mother and serve her forever.
Maybe it is the five thousand years of China, which has been passed down in the bones of the Chinese people. All goodness and filial piety come first, which is deeply rooted in everyone's heart. Even a person like Chen Maosheng would be moved when he heard that his mother died of illness. So the word mother is great.
I couldn't help but stepped forward and hugged my mother from behind, "Mom, I'm sorry!"
The mother turned her head and smiled, "Silly boy, the whole family, what are you saying sorry for? By the way, Mr. Gu and Dahu are coming over at noon too. Go and wash your hands quickly, and I'll beat some eggs for you."
I nodded, washed my hands obediently, and went to the chicken coop in the yard to get four eggs. When I was young, I also helped my mother beat eggs. At that time, it was because of curiosity and wanting to play. Now I cherish such moments very much.
"Mom, why are there so many chicks in our yard?"
"Hey, that was bought by your elder brother last month from the money he earned from working in the city. Your elder brother's job this time is not a part-time job, he is a clerk in a grain and oil store.
You also know that there was a famine and a shortage of food before. If it weren't for Mr. Sun, our family would have starved to death. Many refugees from other places passed by our village, sat on the ridge of the field, caught frogs and stuffed them in their mouths. There are also some people who collapsed while sitting and never woke up again. Eh! In short, too bad.
At that time, I thought, it doesn't matter if I starve to death. Fortunately, you left with Mr. Sun. I, too, have let your father down. hehe! Speaking of which, Mr. Sun is really the benefactor of our whole family!
No, Mr. Sun asked someone to help you with your brother's work. This work is not tiring, and the salary is not bad! "
My hand stirring the chopsticks was frozen for a long time. I don't know these things, I only know that when there was a famine, Xiao Mi and I were in the city, and we didn't lack anything. Even that fake Zhang mother didn't dare to treat us badly in life.
The famine didn't last long back then, maybe a year or two passed. I really didn't expect it to be so serious.
Master never mentioned to me that my eldest brother left in a hurry in those years, and he didn't elaborate on it. If it wasn't for my mother, the master would still have to hide it from me. I'm afraid I don't even know about these things. I feel more and more guilty!
Compared to Master lying to me, I am not grateful for Master's kindness at all.
The author has something to say: Double Eleven is finally over, have you bought, bought, and bought
Hahaha