"What? Aren't you a miner..."
The two brothers of the Qu family stared wide-eyed in an instant, and the other small officials were also stunned. They never expected that the emperor not only came to the Fengyue place, but also the famous Prince Yongshi who stood in front of them. Look - you're blind!
"yes!"
Zhao Guanren quickly picked up the bank notes on the ground, got up and said with a smirk: "This king never lies. There is a mine in this king's fief. I am not a mine owner. Zhao Bifa is my baby name, hehe~"
'How fucking shameless! ! ! '
The brothers of the Qu family scolded his ancestors for eighteen generations in their hearts, but no matter how hard they scolded, it was useless. No matter how good their Ningguo Mansion was, they couldn't beat the prince.
"Your majesty! The son-in-law, he prostitutes officials..."
Song Chizhu immediately got into trouble, and said sadly and angrily: "Feng Luan tended to his lust and arranged two official prostitutes for him to sleep with him. He also wanted to register for the official prostitutes and buy them back to enjoy their private houses. I wanted to snatch them back. Let him stop in moderation, how would you know that he is so bold that he rushed in and wounded the humble minister, it is too lawless!"
"Come here!"
Emperor Shunyao pointed at his son-in-law and yelled: "Take all these smoky things into the Jingdu guards for interrogation. They dare to act mischievously in front of my eyes. There must be even more lawless activities behind them. Tell me every word." Get it out!"
"The emperor is merciful! I will raise the military salary immediately, and I will definitely satisfy the emperor..."
Qu Zheng rushed over, rolling and crawling, but was kicked over by Emperor Shunyao again. The guards rushed in and tied them up, but Emperor Shunyao scolded: "Take these corrupt officials together. Take away, as well as this fat-bellied Feng Luan, who will be exiled immediately after the trial!"
"The emperor spares my life! The emperor spares my life..."
Fat Fengluan lay on the ground and kowtowed fiercely, but he was dragged down. There were only a group of geisha kneeling and trembling in the room, and the mother and daughter of the Hu family also lay on their stomachs and did not dare to move. It would have been unexpected if they were killed. Will come to this kind of place.
"Yunxuan! Why haven't you opened the door to meet guests these days..."
The crown prince and Prince Duan walked in enthusiastically. Zhao Guanren took off his black gauze hat to reveal his short hair, pointed at Tianling Gai and said, "Shave your hair to sacrifice to the gods, you really don't need to spend money to invite gods, you can burn incense to worship, and the tribute incense table is a must! "
"Yunxuan! It's really hard for you..."
Emperor Shun Yao grasped his hand touched, and Zhao Guanren said with a smile: "Everything is for the sake of the people of the world, please stop kneeling, help the table up quickly, and let people serve wine and food. Get up, let's dance!"
"It's my job to make arrangements for you..."
Song Chizhu farted and ran out, the guards also came in to fix the tables and chairs, the geisha hurriedly got up to play and sing, and the mother and daughter of the Hu family, under Zhao Guanren's command, served tea and water to the four of them in a restrained manner. , Jin Wuming stood guard at the window.
"Close the door, both of you, and wait inside..."
Emperor Shunyao waved his hands and lay down on the table, and said in a low voice: "Yunxuan! It is widely rumored that Erlang God was missed when I sacrificed to the heavens, but we have never seen gods before. Immortal, is Erlang God really unhappy?"
"Crack~"
Zhao Guanren lit a cigarette, and said depressedly: "Would you be happy if you put it on your body, you don't use bean buns as dry food!"
"Oh, father! My son said it at the time..."
The prince said urgently: "Ning is less than one village, not less than one household! It's like you sent a general to the countryside to suppress bandits, and the village paid all the silver to the court. You and the court have remembered them, but everyone The commander didn't get any benefits, how can he not be angry?"
"Your Majesty! This is indeed the reason..."
Jin Wuming turned back and said: "I personally don't care, but my brothers can't run away in vain. I felt that Erlang God was a little annoyed that night, so he threw a roaring dog and turned around and left. Otherwise, our hall wouldn't be bombed. He raised his hand!"
"I didn't mean to..."
Emperor Shun Yao patted his legs and said anxiously: "Yunxuan! Let's build a temple for Erlang God now, and the incense will continue all year round, is there still time?"
"The temple cannot be built, or the Jade Emperor will be unhappy..."
Zhao Guanren waved his hand and said, "Don't worry! Erlang God, I have already done my filial piety, so this article will be over, but the third crown prince came to me. I originally made a joke about Seventeen, but I didn't expect him to really do it for Seventeen." Rain, said Seventeen Dance is good, but rain is not an example!"
"..."
The father and son looked at each other, and the prince asked in a low voice, "Are you happy or unhappy?"
"Dragon's nature is obscene! You say he is happy or not, but he can't make it rain..."
Zhao Guanren smoked a cigarette and said: "There are rules in the sky, you can't have an affair with a mortal, otherwise he will be thrown into the Hualong Pond to have skin cramps, but in a few days, isn't it the Pantao Society? If you bring Qi to the Heavenly Palace, you won’t be considered a mortal if your primordial spirit leaves your body!”
"I can really go to the Heavenly Palace..."
The prince asked eagerly: "Can you come down after going up to the sky? Can the primordial spirit give birth to dragon sons when it comes out of the body?"
"Of course I can't give birth. It's a soul when the primordial spirit comes out of the body..."
Zhao Guanren said: "The Jade Emperor gave me a hundred celestial cards, and asked me to distribute them to a hundred great benevolent people, and lead them to the heavenly feast of peaches. Cards are issued to pure and good people, and third-class cards are issued to repentant and good people!"
"What?"
The four people were all stunned, and Prince Duan said in disbelief: "You are actually a good person in the ninth generation, can you be a good person even if you are greedy for money and lustful?"
"Food and sex! What a bad thing, when did you see that I was in disarray and ended up abandoning me, entrapping the people..."
Zhao Guanren said disdainfully: "Do you know what kind of virtue I accumulated in my previous life? Corpse demons slaughtered human beings to only one tenth of them. I took the whole family to the battlefield to eliminate demons. I didn't even do it when all human beings made me emperor." , came to Dashun to slay demons and defend Dao with bare buttocks!"
"I know!"
Emperor Shun Yao suddenly slapped the table and said: "No wonder you risked your life to cure the poison, and you also said that you promised an expert to save the entire human race from the disaster. This expert should be the Jade Emperor. Your mission should be to eliminate the poison. All corpse poison!"
"That's right! What you said this time is absolutely right..."
Zhao Guanren said with a smile: "Actually, the Tiangong is not in the sky, it is equivalent to another world. They control thousands of small worlds. The rule is not to forcibly interfere with the birth and death of all realms, so they can only enlighten mortals and let them save themselves. , I invited Shenlong to violate the rules!"
"Yunxuan!"
Emperor Shun Yao asked in confusion: "Why don't you interfere with the birth and death of all walks of life, who do we kill to offer incense to them?"
"Your Majesty! If you control 10,000 countries, each of which is as big as Dashun, and often fight for resources, how can you stop..."
Zhao Guanren said seriously: "If a strong country does not rob things, it will be bullied, and a weak country does not want to be destroyed. You can't help either side. You can only send a spy to help the weak country secretly to maintain the balance between the two countries. , otherwise let the powerful country know and not rebel?"
"Oh! So that's the case, this statement makes sense..."
The father and son suddenly realized, Zhao Guanren took out three gold medals and put them on the table, and said, "Anyway, that's what it means. We mortals can't understand what the gods are fighting for. These three medals are for you three. prepare!"
"Oh~"
The father and son exclaimed in unison, and Jin Wuming hurried over, and the prince asked, "What is the difference?"
"Don't think about it as soon as you wait, there is only this one in my neck, but it can be listened to by God..."
Zhao Guanren pulled out the big gold medal from his collar, and said: "The second-class card can travel to the heavenly palace, and go to the Pantao Garden to participate in the Pantao Festival. Not only can you meet the Jade Emperor, but you can also watch the seven fairies dance.
I can only walk around outside the garden, squat on the ground and eat a peach, and then I have to get out! "
"Fantasy tour of heaven! We are second class..."
The father and son were all excited, lying on the table with six eyes shining, even Jin Wuming coveted and said: "Master Zhao! I don't want to ask for a third-class card. I don't want to go to the fairy palace to see fairies. It’s enough to squat down and eat a peach!”
Zhao Guanren raised his finger and said with a smile: "You are not stupid, a flat peach increases lifespan by a thousand years!"
"What? Can eating a peach make you live a thousand years longer..."
The four of them clenched their fists excitedly, but Zhao Guanren said again: "If you live a thousand years, you won't become a fairy. Immortal Palace will distribute them to you in batches, so that you can live a hundred years in every life, and you will die, and Pantao won't let you live longer." Eat, two for each person is worth it!"
"Let me just say..."
Prince Duan said with a little disappointment: "No one can live for a thousand years, but it is also very good to live a hundred years in every life. Can you give us these three second-class cards?"
"According to the rules, you can't even get third-class cards..."
Zhao Guanren said: "You guys hurry up to build a charity hall and do real good deeds. Then I will say to the heavens that doing good deeds in the Emperor's House will set an example and can lead a large number of good people to do good deeds. As long as the four heavenly kings let go, you will pass the assessment." Lah, I'll take Lao Jin's third-class card!"
"Yunxuan! We father and son are extremely grateful for your great kindness..."
The father and son all stood up and bowed deeply, and Emperor Shun Yao said seriously: "We have completely repented, and we will definitely do good deeds and accumulate virtue in the future, and make amends!"
"Take away the celestial cards first, but don't tell Seventeen..."
Zhao Guanren pretended to be helpless and said: "Actually, there is only a thin line between the world and hell. The world can only be relatively clean, not absolutely clean. Since you have decided to let the Seventeen Prisons go, she has to do some dirty things, otherwise Dashun will never be perfect." Peaceful day!"
"this… "
The father and son hesitated, but Zhao Guanren waved his hand again and said, "Don't worry! Little Bailong is still thinking about her. The Pantao Society held a meeting and secretly carried her to the sky. When the time comes, I will give her a peach to eat, and she will be able to start well and end well, anyway. I’ve eaten it twice and it’s not bad for that one!”
"That's good, that's good..."
The father and son breathed a sigh of relief again, and the prince asked, "That's right! When will the Pantao Festival open? Is it too late for us to do good deeds?"
"One day in the sky, one year on the ground! Immortals are used to laziness, and thieves slow down when doing things..."
Zhao Guanren smiled wryly and said: "Just tell me to eat for a few days, and their few days are our years, but don't worry, as long as you enshrine the immortal card, even if you die in battle, the Yuanshen will go to the Nantian Gate Wait, you will see us in three or two days!"
"Oh! This is great, I'm afraid I won't be able to catch up..."
The four of them were completely limped by being fooled, but Zhao Guanren didn't mean to cheat them. It was better than any policy to lead them on the right path, but they couldn't be too radical, otherwise they would be messed up if they took too many steps.
"Hu Lingzhi! Come in..."
Zhao Guanren called the mother and daughter of the Hu family, and said with a smile: "Your Majesty, you can do good deeds at any time. I think you should start with the Amnesty Teaching Music Workshop, and send them away. Those who are willing to stay are good artists. Give some money and send it back to the place of origin!"
"Yes! I will issue a decree tomorrow to amnesty the world..."
Emperor Shun Yao waved his big hand very happily, and the mother and daughter of the Hu family couldn't believe their ears. They knelt on the ground excitedly and kowtowed to thank Zhao Guanren three times in a row.
"My lord!"
Jin Wuming suddenly whispered: "I don't see anything wrong with the singing girl playing the jade flute at the back. She has been listening to us with her ears up all the time, and she is playing the tune out of tune!"
"Haha~"
Zhao Guanren knew that he was referring to the famous prostitute Dong Siyun, so he pretended to be casual and whispered: "I seem to know who she is, just look at me!"