Sun Shouyi sat down opposite Fu Hua, looked around, and said in the tone of a superior person again: "You have not changed much from before. It stands to reason that you are a big boss. You should pretend to be a big boss. Install the facade and improve the office environment."
Fu Hua smiled and said, "What a big boss, Xiao Xiami. The office is just an office environment. It's just an office environment. It doesn't mean that you have a luxurious outfit. People will take a high look at you. Businessmen are all. Very shrewd, the two of you have already figured out how many catties you have."
"You are still so pragmatic, and you haven't changed at all for so many years," Sun Shouyi said with a smile, "Fu Hua, do you know what I hated you most before? You always look through everything. It seems that you have nothing to do with others. It’s just that you don’t bother to open it up. But now that I think about it, the reason why I hate you so much is first of all because I have done things that I don’t want others to know, but you have everything in your hands. At that time, I didn’t want to hate you.”
Fu Hua raised his eyes and glanced at Sun Shouyi. On the surface, what Sun Shouyi said and did seemed normal. But there is something abnormal in this normal, because the previous Sun Shouyi would not open up to him like this. Sun Shouyi is a man who has a lot of calculations in his official career, and every word and deed has its own internal considerations.
Sometimes Fu Hua even felt that Sun Shouyi and Shen Jia were a couple living in a condom, and their behavior was calculated. Even if they opened up in front of you, they performed it to gain your trust in them. Therefore, he did not know whether Sun Shouyi was sincere or fake in analyzing his own words, let alone why Sun Shouyi analyzed himself.
"But in fact, I was deceiving myself and others," Sun Shouyi continued. "There are not a few people in this world who are really fools. They may have seen through what I was thinking. They were only in front of me for a certain purpose. Pretending to be ignorant. Thinking about it from this angle, on the contrary, you are more sincere by not whitewashing your behavior."
Fu Hua really didn't know why Sun Shouyi came to him to say this. It seems that his current life circle has nothing to do with Sun Shouyi's life circle. Even if Sun Shouyi performs sincerely in front of him, there should be no way to follow him. What substantive benefits are obtained here.
"Sincere is not a good quality in official career," Fu Hua said with a smile, "didn't you chase me away from Haichuan City when you caught the opportunity? There was no even a pre-explanatory explanation. Official career is a place where the party is the same. Everyone lives in a mask. If anyone dared to take off the mask and breathe out, he would immediately be regarded as an alien."
"Haha, live with a mask," Sun Shouyi said with a smile, "What you said is very vivid, let me think about it, when did I put this mask on myself? It seems to be from Mr. Zhao. When you introduced Shen Jia to me and asked me to go on a blind date. Tell you the truth. When I met Shen Jia for the first time, I was very annoyed in my heart. I asked what was this and what happened to Zhao Lao. What kind of woman did he introduce to me? I don’t match Shen Jia at all."
"But you eventually married Sister Shen Jia."
"Yes, I finally married her, but when I first started, I was very hesitant. I didn't want to spend my life with such an ugly woman. I'm not reconciled."
Seeing that Sun Shouyi said about Shen Jia, Fu Hua became a little angry: "What can you not be reconciled to? Without Sister Shen Jia, you would not have your current status and status. It can be said that Sister Shen Jia has made use of all the network resources to make you who you are today. Apart from being ugly, Sister Shen Jia gave you the greatest help a woman can give you."
"I don't deny this at all," Sun Shouyi said with a wry smile, "but at that moment, I was really struggling in my heart. I wanted to refuse to accept Shen Jia's, but the powerful resources behind Shen Jia gave me irresistible. The coercion of her also gave me great temptation to reject her. I may be a mediocre member of the civil service in my life. Accepting her I will immediately rise to the sky. Fu Hua, if it were you, what choice would you make? "
Fu Hua really didn't think about this seriously. He watched Sun Shouyi stare into his eyes for a while, then shook his head and smiled bitterly and said: "I think I will still refuse, because you didn't understand this deeply at the time. The premise is that I still can’t live with a woman like Sister Shen Jia for the sole purpose of promoting her career. I have to admit that it is really not easy for you to make the decision to marry her at this point.”
"You also understand that it is not easy for me to make this choice. It is estimated that from the moment I decided to marry Shen Jia, I put on a firm mask for myself, and the whole area has been more than 20 years. That is, from the moment I decided to marry Shen Jia. From that moment, my goal in life became to climb to a higher position. But I was not reconciled in my heart."
"This is where you are not a man enough," Fu Hua said, "Since you have reached a certain deal with Sister Shen Jia, Sister Shen Jia has fulfilled her promise to you, and you should also assume your responsibilities."
"How many men in this world can promise to the end? Can you do it? If you do it, you won't get divorced twice," Sun Shouyi said with a wry smile, "not to mention that as the power I hold more and more The bigger, there are many women who actively post to me. I can restrain myself, and it’s good not to make scandals all over the sky."
Fu Hua also admitted that although Sun Shouyi has always had a lover, his behavior is indeed very constrained. Basically, even if Zhao Gong resumed the case and involved Sun Shouyi's scrutiny, the organization did not find evidence of Sun Shouyi's violation of the rules in life.
On the other hand, Fu Hua inspected his behavior, and indeed he did not make his promise to the end. Although he had tried his best to pay attention to both men and women, he still failed to avoid any behavior beyond the scope of friendship with other women. And after so many years, he has not only failed to converge in this regard, but has a tendency to relax his demands on himself.
This is mainly because he increasingly feels that eating men and women is a human desire, which is not something that can be restrained if he wants to restrain himself. Sometimes, the more restraint he wants, the stronger he is. He has slowly accepted this, instead of treating the behavior beyond the boundaries of men and women as an unacceptable mistake as in previous years.
After reaching a certain age, you will understand that many things are not black and white. Fu Hua now takes a natural attitude towards many things in life. He does not take the initiative, refuses, and is not responsible. Fu Hua feels that this is going down. , He lives a lot easier, he rarely feels the kind of guilt in his heart after surpassing certain boundaries.
This is probably a kind of reconciliation that Fu Hua has reached with the world now. He no longer deliberately resists the world, as long as it is within the scope of the law, as long as it does not violate his inner will, everything that happens in this world He can accept it. The rest of my life is short, and every day is worth cherishing. Instead of living in constant entanglement, it is better to live the rest of the day happily.
Thinking of this, Fu Hua felt that his dissatisfaction with Sun Shouyi was a kind of obsession. That was Sun Shouyi's very Shen Jia life. What to do with him? Isn't it ridiculous that he struggled in this regard? He smiled and said, "Secretary Sun, what you said is also what you said. Looking back on thinking, I couldn't make a promise to the end. But I haven't figured it out yet. You came specifically to find me whether you wanted to do it. What? Isn't it a special review of the past with me?"
"You guy is still more free and easy than me," Sun Shouyi said with a wry smile, "We have known each other for so long, and I find that you are always easier than me to let go of the burden in my heart, but I can't do this. Fu Hua, Can you teach me how to completely let go? I have been listening to the Heart Sutra and Diamond Sutra for this period of time, but I still can't do it without worry."
When Fu Hua heard this, he finally understood. Although Sun Shouyi looked normal and sensible, he could not get out of depression, there were still some things that could not make him feel self-consistent in his heart, and some things were still going on. Entangling him, he ran to confide in him that he actually wanted some kind of relief from him.
Fu Hua wanted to say something to Sun Shouyi. The reason why he can easily reconcile with the world is because he owes the world not much account. He can easily get relief through spiritual victory methods such as Ah Q. On the other hand, he lived very honestly for most of his life, did not wear so many masks on his face, and did not need to live in fear of some kind of punishment for his actions.
But Sun Shouyi couldn't do this at all. He owed Shen Jia too much, and he would not be able to pay this bill in his entire life. In the later period of his career, he released himself and did a lot of illegal things. Although these have not been discovered organizationally, it does not mean that Sun Shouyi is not worried about being discovered organizationally.
There are so many concerns in this guy's heart that he can't get rid of it no matter how many times he listens to the Heart Sutra and Diamond Sutra. This is probably the main reason why he can't get out of depression. To put it bluntly, depression is a kind of heart disease. When a person is unable to reconcile with the world and cannot achieve inner self-consistent, this kind of illness will follow. Fu Hua had read some information on depression. Knowing how painful the patients were, Sun Shouyi felt a little bit pitiful in his heart.