The counseling room was brightly lit, and Julia, a female psychiatrist in her thirties, came out from behind the desk to shake hands with them.
"You look much better," Julia said to Tang Junhe with a smile, and looked at Yang Xuan next to him, "This is another protagonist in your story, right?" While Tang Junhe nodded, She stretched out her hand to Yang Xuan, "Hello."
"Hello," Yang Xuan shook hands with her, "Yang Xuan."
Tang Junhe never thought that one day he would sit in front of the psychiatrist with Yang Xuan. In the past, when he sat here, he was almost always in a state of extreme anxiety. Although here he can obtain a moment of psychological peace, but he still has a strong sense of resistance. So for a while later, after he felt that he could barely cope with this state of anxiety, he stopped the treatment process on his own initiative.
After learning about Tang Junhe's recent mental state, Julia quickly gave a professional treatment method - systematic desensitization therapy.
"We tried to use this method before, but the effect was not satisfactory." Julia flipped through Tang Junhe's treatment records, looked up at Tang Junhe, "Do you remember?"
"Yeah." Tang Junhe twisted his hands together unconsciously and nodded. Until now, when desensitization therapy is mentioned, he still instinctively resists it. Desensitization therapy needs to induce patients to enter situations that cause anxiety. At that time, Julia tried to let Tang Junhe imagine the scene when Yang Xuan left, hoping to help him gradually overcome this state of anxiety.
Tang Junhe was eighteen years old at the time, a freshman in freshman year. When he closed his eyes and followed Julia's words to imagine the scene at the airport, he suddenly curled up uncontrollably, buried his face in his knees, and whispered in a broken voice. sobbing. Compared with the hysterical cries of other patients who came to the treatment room, this kind of reaction was not so intense, but Julia knew that Tang Junhe would also carefully hide his emotions in a state of extreme collapse. It took a lot of effort for Julia to help him recover from his breakdown that afternoon.
Tang Junhe couldn't touch the memory of that scene. For him, desensitization therapy would not help him relieve his anxiety, but would aggravate his anxiety.
Seeing the resistance in Tang Junhe's eyes, Julia gently encouraged him: "I believe that with your boyfriend's company, the desensitization therapy will definitely work this time. Let's try it, how about?"
She said the word "boyfriend" with a very natural expression, which made Tang Junhe briefly escape from the conflicting emotions, and his heart seemed to miss a beat.
At this moment, Yang Xuan stretched out his hand to hold his wrist, and looked at him sideways, with no abnormal expression on his face, and the tone of discussion: "Let's try it, okay?"
Tang Junhe couldn't refuse Yang Xuan, nodded hesitantly, and asked Julia: "Then does my brother need to be present?"
"Yes, you don't want him there?"
"I don't know either," Tang Junhe shook his head and said, "Let's try first."
Tang Junhe sat in the treatment room with soft light, and the soothing music sounded in the air. He followed the psychiatrist's words to relax his body. Yang Xuan sat on the sofa at the back, watching the treatment process here.
At first Tang Junhe didn't feel anxious, but a little nervous because Yang Xuan was watching him from behind. But gradually, under the guidance of a psychologist, he quickly entered the imaginary situation.
At the beginning, he entered imaginary scenes with a lower stimulus level, such as asking him to imagine Yang Xuan walking out of this room. Gradually, according to his reaction, the stimulus level began to increase.
"Now imagine you are walking in the airport, there are many people around, the noise is loud..."
Tang Junhe entered this memory following Julia's description. The airport was full of people coming and going, the sound of footsteps, noisy conversations, and the sound of pulling boxes rubbing against the ground were mixed together. He and Yang Xuan walked towards the security check At the place, there was a sign saying "Stop sending people off". Tang Junhe knew that he could only send it here.
He watched Yang Xuan walk away, and someone around him came up and hit him hard on the shoulder, he wanted to call out to stop Yang Xuan, but when he opened his mouth, he seemed suddenly dumb, unable to utter a word.
Tang Junhe's breathing began to become short, his back left the back of the seat, he curled up unconsciously, raised his hands to cover his face, and called out hoarsely, "Brother...", the tense shoulder lines Trembling slightly.
This is how he protects himself when he is in panic and anxiety. Yang Xuan is very familiar with it. He frowned and stood up from the sofa. Seeing that the psychiatrist did not stop him, he walked to Tang Junhe's side.
Tang Junhe is already twenty-seven years old, and he has grown a lot taller than ten years ago, but when he curls himself up like this, he looks like a small ball, like a poor little animal.
Tang Junhe forgot that he was in the treatment room for a moment. At that moment, he really thought he was at the airport. The Yang Xuan he saw was not the Yang Xuan ten years ago, nor the Yang Xuan now. I have seen Yang Xuan. After waking up, he realized that this was Yang Xuan in his imagination. In the past ten years, he had imagined countless times what his brother Yang Xuan would become.
In the imaginary situation, he watched Yang Xuan enter the security check area in despair. His legs were weak from the extreme panic and panic, and he couldn't help squatting down. At this moment, he felt a hand He fell to the top of his head and ruffled his hair.
Tang Junhe didn't like others rubbing his hair, and in fact no one else rubbed his hair. For a moment he thought Yang Xuan was back, but when he raised his head, his eyes were squinted by the sunlight shining into the treatment room. Only then did I realize that just now was just a hypothetical session in the treatment.
"I'm still here." Yang Xuan said above his head.
Tang Junhe buried his head, took a deep breath, and when he exhaled, he slowly straightened up, then turned sideways and hugged Yang Xuan, burying his face in his lower abdomen. Yang Xuan pressed the back of his head with one hand, and patted his back lightly with the other.
Tang Junhe hugged for a while before calming down, let go of Yang Xuan, turned around and said to Julia, "I'm sorry, was my reaction too extreme just now?"
"It's beyond my expectation that you are willing to reveal your emotions," Julia said. "Although it didn't go to the end, this level is very good for you. Having a lover by your side for desensitization treatment, the effect Much better indeed.”
The various data during the desensitization treatment just now were displayed on the laptop screen. Tang Junhe was a little dazed looking at those numbers, and it was still difficult for him to get out of that emotion quickly.
When Julia was talking about the next treatment plan, Yang Xuan held the pen and quickly wrote down what she said in the notebook. Tang Junhe felt that he had never seen Yang Xuan like this before. In his memory, Yang Xuan would jump up on the basketball and shoot, would sleep on the desk in the classroom, and would slowly check the answers on the TOEFL test questions with a pen in his hand. Du didn't memorize anything quickly with such a serious expression.
Although the collapsed state during the treatment was somewhat similar to that of a few years ago, compared to the last time, Tang Junhe's emotions recovered quickly this time.
Half an hour later, at the end of the treatment, Julia proposed to have a few words with Tang Junhe alone. Tang Junhe kept holding Yang Xuan's hand. Hearing this, Yang Xuan shook him in the opposite direction: "Then I'll go out and smoke a cigarette first." After speaking, he stood up and shook hands with the psychiatrist, and closed the notebook again. He rolled it up, held it in his hand, and walked out.
As soon as the door was closed, Julia looked at Tang Junhe and said, "He loves you very much."
These words were very convincing from the psychiatrist's mouth. Tang Junhe didn't expect her to say this. He was stunned for a moment, but he couldn't help being a little happy when he came back to his senses: "Can you see it?"
"It's obvious, and he seems reliable," Julia said. "Will he be so aggressive that you don't feel comfortable in your relationship?"
"No," Tang Junhe shook his head and said, "He actually gave way to me." What I have to admit is that although they are lovers, they can hug, kiss, and make |love, but they cannot completely break away from the brotherhood. Yang Xuan always lets him in, intentionally or unintentionally, like a competent elder brother. At the same time, Tang Junhe will unconsciously rely on Yang Xuan, just like he relied on his elder brother when he was a child. This is unavoidable, and no one has thought of changing this way of getting along in the past. It seems that everything is logical, and it was destined to be this way since they were born.
"That's good." Julia has known him for many years and seemed very happy for him. "I'm really happy for you to see you happy. The most important thing is that he is still handsome." She laughed when she said this, Tang Junhe Also bowed his head and smiled.
Yang Xuan was standing in the corridor, smoking a cigarette by the open window, half-smoked a cigarette, and turned around when he heard the door open. Seeing Tang Junhe coming out of the treatment room and approaching him, he didn't ask the psychiatrist what he said, but raised his hand to touch Tang Junhe's face and said, "How do you feel?"
"It's pretty good," Tang Junhe was a little embarrassed by the scene that happened during the treatment, "Brother, I'll go to the bathroom and wash my face."
"Let's go." Yang Xuan stubbed out the cigarette in the ash trough on the trash can, and walked with him.
The bathroom was very quiet, except for the sound of rushing water. Tang Junhe washed his face with the water, then turned off the tap, and wiped off the excess water on his face with the back of his hand. Yang Xuan was half leaning on the sink and waiting for him.
"It's finished." Tang Junhe walked up to him and looked at him with his chin raised slightly.
Yang Xuan reached out and pushed his wet forehead hair aside, revealing his smooth forehead. Just when he was about to get up and leave, Tang Junhe suddenly came over and hugged him.
The water from his cheek rubbed against Yang Xuan's shoulder, and seeped in through the thin shirt fabric. Yang Xuan didn't say anything, but raised his hand to wrap his arms around his back, rubbing his fingers on the stubble on the back of his neck intentionally or unintentionally. .
"Brother," Tang Junhe said in a low voice, "Guess what Julia just told me?"
"Huh?" Yang Xuan asked.
"She said..." Tang Junhe paused, raised his head, looked into Yang Xuan's eyes and said, "She said you love me very much."
Yang Xuan also seemed to be taken aback for a moment, then smiled again.
"Isn't it, brother?" Tang Junhe looked at him expectantly. This anticipation made his eyes widen slightly, as if he were seventeen.
"Isn't this obvious?" Yang Xuan said, wiping away the drops of water that were about to drip from his jaw with his thumb.
"You have to say 'yes' or 'no'." Tang Junhe insisted.
Yang Xuan's fingers slid down his jaw line, supported his chin, lowered his head and pecked his lips, then looked into his dark eyes, and said without hesitation: "Yes."