Such a patient is scary just looking at it.
Just looking at it makes people think, if they can only live like this, they might as well die.
(one)
Six years later, Dan Shan was already sixteen years old. She cut off her signature double ponytails, and her ear-length short hair made her look younger than her actual age. She lives in Chicago, USA, and every time she looks for Part-time, people thought she was a thirteen or fourteen-year-old girl. She usually only receives some simple errand work.
On this day, as usual, she bought the things her employer needed from the supermarket, carried her schoolbag, and walked in the cold wind with two bags.
To be honest, the winter in Chicago is very cold, the wind is so strong that it seems to blow people's ears off, the thick snow on the sidewalk can't melt at all, and it creaks when you step on it. Boots, stepped on the snow carefully, walked around three street corners, opened the door and walked into a coffee shop, put down the things, and greeted with a smiling face: "Boss, the things you want are here."
"Thank you for your hard work." An old man with white hair came out and handed her a five-dollar tip.
Shan Shan took off his gloves and took it with a smile on his face: "Thank you, tell me what you want."
"Okay." Mrs. Jones agreed with a smile. She just packed the money, turned and walked out. Just as she reached the door, two policemen walked in. One of the policewomen was holding a few A4-sized papers and pointed them at the coffee shop. The boss asked: "Hello, this is the Chinese who just escaped from the group yesterday. We want to post their photos in your coffee shop. If you find them, please contact us immediately."
"Oh, please post it here." The boss pointed to a conspicuous place in the store and said.
The two policemen went over to post the photos. Shan Dan, who had already walked to the door, heard that he was Chinese, so he couldn't help running to take a look. The police posted the photos in order, and when they posted the third one, there was a very A handsome and tough Chinese man, that is just an ordinary ID photo, the man is wearing the most common white shirt, twisting a button to the neck, the short hair looks particularly neat and energetic, and the resolute face is framed with A pair of deep star-like eyes, a straight nose bridge, and sexy lips tightly pursed.
Just staring at the photo closely, thinking, this person looks so familiar, like the big brother in memory.
It's a pity that his serious appearance is not very similar to the warm and sunny person in memory.
Shan Shan turned around and left, she walked home step by step on the snow, thinking as she walked, she hadn't returned to China for a long time, and she didn't know how the big brother was doing now, he married the big sister he liked
Ah, I really envy that sister. Even now she can't remember the appearance of that sister, but she can still remember the joy in her eyes when her big brother looked at her.
Shan Shan suddenly stopped, stood in the cold wind for a while, and then rushed back to the coffee shop, opened the door, stood in front of the photo of the Chinese man, panting heavily, raised her head, Stare hard into his eyes, those eyes, those eyes!
That's right, it's not only his warm smile that is deeply memorable, but also his pair of extremely affectionate eyes.
(two)
Shan Shan tore off the arrest warrant secretly while no one was paying attention, and began to inquire about his whereabouts in Chicago. A month later, her friend called and told her that he saw the person on the arrest warrant at the gate of a hospital. After Shan Shan heard the news, he ran over immediately, and went around the hospital several times but couldn't find it.
Just as she was walking back in disappointment, she suddenly saw several police cars parked at the entrance of the street, and there were chaotic voices coming from the alley ahead, and someone shouted: "Quick! He's here!"
From a distance, I saw a man in a black coat running towards her! The second he brushed past her, Shan Shan felt that time had stopped, his movements were so fast, his face was obviously gone in a flash, but she still saw his appearance clearly, but he, He didn't notice her at all, and blew past her like a gust of wind.
Shan Shan was stunned, until a group of policemen ran past her, she came back to her senses, and hurriedly followed behind them to catch up, but she still couldn't catch up for a long time, even the shadows of those people were gone, she mouthed Panting heavily, leaning on the wall, she followed the footprints and continued walking forward, but after another turn, she was on the main road. The snow on the main road had been cleared away, and even the footprints were gone.
The policeman in front had already driven away in the police car, Shan Shan stomped his feet in disappointment, and just wanted to go further to have a look, but saw a man jumping off the fence and falling silently into the snow, he hugged him Putting on the coat, she looked around vigilantly with her head down, turned around and left quickly, but this time she didn't stay in a daze anymore, she quickly chased after him, excitedly grabbed him and shouted: "Wait!"
Brother Xiaotian, who hadn't called out for a long time, didn't have the nerve to say it, the man suddenly turned around to dodge, raised his hand suddenly, his fingers formed a ferocious tiger claw, and grabbed Shan Shan's right hand like a wind, Flipping his hands, he restrained her and made her unable to move.
"Oh, oh, it hurts so much!" Shan Shan yelled out in pain.
"Chinese?" Seeing that it was just a little Chinese girl, the man let go of her hand, gently pushed her away, and walked away.
"Hey! Don't go!" Shan Shan shook his hand and hurriedly followed: "Tang Xiaotian, stop!"
Tang Xiaotian stopped in his tracks, turned around neatly, stared at her wrinkled and asked, "You know me? Who are you?"
"You don't remember me?" Shan Shan quickly divided Qi'er's bob hair into two halves, held it with his hand, tied it into two ponytails, opened his eyes wide, looked at him with a smile and asked: "It's me, Shan Shan, recognize it Yet?"
Tang Xiaotian frowned, but still couldn't remember.
Shan Shan said anxiously: "It's me, me, the little girl I asked you to help me kidnap my brother when I was young, and then was thrown away by my brother on the mountain and asked you to pick it up."
When she said this, Tang Xiaotian finally had an expression of enlightenment, pointed at her and said, "It's you! You've grown up so much."
"That's right, that's right, it's me." Shan Dan smiled happily and narrowed his eyes, that's great, he still remembers me!
(three)
Shan Shan took Tang Xiaotian back to her home in a sneaky way. Her home was a small two-story villa. It was completely dark when she got home. Fortunately, the snow in the yard and the street lights made it not so dark.
Shan Shan walked ahead, took out a bunch of keys, and opened the door. The villa was cold and dark, not much warmer than the outside.
Shan Shan walked in first, and waved to Tang Xiaotian, "Come in."
Tang Xiaotian stepped in, his leather boots knocked on the wooden floor, making dull footsteps, he looked around the room, and immediately judged that this European-style rural-style villa was used by at most one person, and that owner was completely obsessed with housework. There is no way, so the places she needs to use are extremely messy, and the places she doesn't need to use are full of dust.
"It seems to be a bit messy." Shan Shan scratched his cheek in embarrassment, hurriedly ran to the sofa and cleared a seat and said, "Come here and sit."
Tang Xiaotian walked over and sat down. It was already dark outside, and the room was terribly dark, but Shan Shan didn't seem to intend to turn on the light. She took out a candle from under the coffee table and lit it, with an extremely guilty expression on her face and said : "Brother Xiaotian, I'm so sorry, I forgot to pay the electric heating bill, you will suffer some grievances living in my house."
Tang Xiaotian shook his head, and said in disbelief, "You will forget it in such a cold day?"
"Oh, I just forgot." Shan Shan stuck out his tongue and said.
Tang Xiaotian didn't expose her lie, and asked casually, "Where's your mother?"
The candle in Shan Shan's hand flickered slightly, but it was not lit. She raised her hand and lit the candle. The candle light reflected on her face, her beautiful eyes were a little red, and she said softly: "She passed away, four years ago."
Tang Xiaotian stopped talking, and quietly looked at the girl in front of him, the girl who used to cry and tremble under the dark telephone booth, did she spend four years alone in a foreign country
Tang Xiaotian couldn't help stretching out his hand, rubbed her hair gently, lowered his head alone, wiped his eyes vigorously, raised his head, smiled and said with a sunny face: "Oh, don't talk about me, Xiaotian Brother, why did you come to the United States? You sneaked out of the group! You don’t look like someone who would do such a thing.”
Tang Xiaotian's expression was filled with a murderous look for an instant, he clenched his fist tightly, and said with a biting voice: "I'm here to find someone."
"Who is it?" Shan Shan asked curiously.
"A person who I can't wait for him to go to hell!" Tang Xiaotian said these words slowly, his handsome face was full of hatred and anger, almost like two people with the sunny and warm boy when we first met.
Shan Shan pursed his lips, thought for a while, and said cautiously: "If you need to find someone, I can help you. I still have a lot of friends here."
"Are you willing to help me?" Tang Xiaotian's current identity is impossible to find someone on the streets of Chicago, and he will be discovered by the police if he is not careful.
Shan Shan smiled: "Of course! Are you looking for a Chinese?"
Tang Xiaotian nodded.
Shan Shan smiled and opened his eyebrows: "It's easier to find a Chinese. The Chinese circle is only so big. What's his name?"
"Qu, Wei, Ran!" Tang Xiaotian spit out the name slowly, as if he spit it out after chewing it in his mouth. Shan Shan blinked, and suddenly remembered that she had said Shan Yi'an's name back then, and hated it with gnashing of teeth.
I just passed his name quickly in my mind, but didn't think of anything about this person: "Tell me about him in detail, just the name is not easy to find out."
Tang Xiaotian sat on the sofa with his head down, fingers crossed on his knees, and described Qu Weiran with a disgusted expression: "He is 26 years old, 1.82 meters tall, and weighs about 140 kilograms. He came to Chicago for medical treatment a year ago. sick."
"Cure?" Shan Shan tilted his head and said with a smile, "Going to the hospital? It would be easier to find it! I'll help you find out tomorrow."
Shan Shan's mother lived in almost all the good hospitals in Chicago when she was treated here, and Shan Shan naturally went to and from the hospital frequently, and met many doctors and nurses.
Seeing her enthusiastic look, Tang Xiaotian thanked her from the bottom of his heart: "Thank you, Shan Shan."
"Why are you being polite to me?" Shan Shan waved his hand indifferently, and then asked, "Why are you looking for him?"
Tang Xiaotian was startled, his expression turned cold, his eyes were calm, his lips were pursed, and he didn't say a word. Under the dancing candlelight, his handsome face looked hostile. Just because he was scared by his appearance, she didn't dare to ask again, and she didn't know if it was too cold in the room or what, she picked up the candle on the table tremblingly and said: "Brother Xiaotian, it's too cold, how about we Rest today, let's talk tomorrow."
The two walked up to the second floor by the faint candlelight, and only arranged him in the guest room. The guest room had not been lived in for a long time, and there was a bit of dusty smell in the air. Before, she opened the cabinet door, pulled out two quilts and threw them on the bed, and then found a set of bedding in the cabinet below and threw them over. The cotton made her nose itchy. She rubbed her nose and sneezed and said, "Well , one less pillow, I'll get it."
As she spoke, she ran to her room next door with a candle. The bed was full of dolls. She picked out a flat pink piggy that could be used as a pillow and hugged it. It was just a little bit of effort, and then went to the guest room to have a look. Tang Xiaotian The bed sheet has been laid, the quilt has been put on, and the whole bed has been tidied up.
"Wow!" Shan Shan exclaimed, "You move too fast!"
"It's nothing, I was trained as a soldier." Tang Xiaotian's tone was low-key, and he didn't think it was anything special.
"Hey, here's your pillow." Shan Shan threw the pink piglet to him, and he reached out to catch it. She took two steps back, stood outside the door, held the handle, and said with a chuckle, "You have a good rest." , call me when it’s cold, there are two quilts in my mother’s room.”
Tang Xiaotian nodded, but did not speak.
Shan Shan smiled, pulled the doorknob, and wanted to close the door for him, but suddenly heard Tang Xiaotian calling her: "Shan Shan."
"En?" Shan Shan turned her head and smiled.
Tang Xiaotian raised his voice and said, "Good night."
The simple smile froze on her face, she opened her mouth, and after a while, she let out a substandard sound from her throat: "Good night..."
After finishing speaking, she immediately closed the room and stood outside the door blankly, ah... how long has it been.
How long has no one said good night to her.
It's been so long that she can't remember clearly.
She bit her lip, raised her head, smiled vigorously, and told herself forcefully not to cry, she promised her mother to be a simple and happy girl.
Because I promised so seriously, my mother left with peace of mind, didn't she
Four years ago, when Shan Shan's mother was dying, she was so thin that she didn't even have a trace of flesh. She was lying on the bed like a mummy, her white skin was tightly wrapped around her bones, and her closed eyes were full of the shadow of death. A head with no hair, blue blood vessels burst out, she can no longer move, and it is difficult for her to even speak a complete sentence. She can only live on drips and a ventilator every day. Such a patient, just looking at it makes people feel uncomfortable. I feel terrible, just looking at it makes people think, if I can only live like this, I might as well die.
At that time, thirteen-year-old Shan Shan was still wearing cute twintails, sitting next to her mother, reading the newspaper, which was in Chinese, and every time she encountered a word she couldn’t read, she would take it to her mother and ask, “Mom, What word is this?"
Mom closed her eyes and was speechless.
Just as if I got an answer from my mother, I smiled and said: "I know, Mom wants me to look it up in the dictionary, right?"
Shan Shan picked up her schoolbag, turned out the dictionary, and began to turn pages one by one. Shan Shan's mother tilted her head, looked at her daughter, and breathed hard. Live, even if it's hard.
Shan Shan found the word, jumped up happily and said: "I found it, it's a 'difficult' word!"
Mom took a deep breath, but it seemed like she couldn't catch it. She couldn't breathe, her weak hands and feet began to twist and twitch, and she struggled in extreme pain. The alarm light on the bedside began to light up. After a while, the doctor The nurse rushed in, and after a while of resuscitating, the breath came on.
Shan Shan tightly squeezed the newspaper in his hand and stared at it blankly. The doctors and nurses thought she was petrified, stroked her hair, comforted her, and filed out.
Shan Shan gently closed the newspaper, walked over, sat on the edge of the bed, and looked at the mother who was living extremely hard. Such struggles and rescue scenes were repeated several times a day.
She has been nervous, scared, crying and screaming from the beginning, and now she has accepted this fact.
Shan Shan gently hugged her skinny mother, lying on her chest, listening to her heartbeat as she did when she was a child, it was so weak, so weak that she couldn't even hear it. Shan Shan took her mother's hand and said softly: "Mom, are you sad? You must be sad. You have been lying on the bed, unable to move or speak, wanting to give up and worrying about me, right? The doctor said, you can hold on It's been a miracle for two years."
Shan Shan smiled vigorously, but tears kept falling down: "Mom, it's okay, you've been with Shan Shan for so long, it's really okay, Shan Shan will be good, be a good girl, and live a simple and happy life. I won't take revenge, I won't argue with Shan Yi'an, I won't settle accounts with my father, I won't be bullied by others, I won't fall in love with people who belong to me, I won't do anything you worry about... "
"Don't hold back! Seeing you working so hard, I feel so distressed. Mom!" Shan Dan threw herself on her mother's thin chest, crying loudly: "I like you so much, I really want you to stay with me... But, but... Mom , Mom... you go, I will be good!"
Tears flowed slowly from the tightly closed eyes of Shan Shan's mother, as if they could not stop, they fell one by one, as if she had heard her daughter's words, and said goodbye to her with great relief and reluctance.
That afternoon, Shan Shan’s mother left her forever in the warm sunshine of Chicago.
After the funeral, Shan Shan cut off her long double ponytails, because the mother who combed her hair the most is no longer around. She must be strong and fulfill her promise to her mother. She will not return to China or accept adoption, and live alone. Work hard to smile, work hard to be simple, and work hard to be happy.
(Four)
In the early morning, the alarm clock in Shan Dan's room rang, she sat up abruptly from the warm bed, put on a sweater and thick down jacket, and rushed into the bathroom on the first floor in a daze, and rinsed herself with cold water tremblingly , finally woke up.
Open the door of the bathroom and look outside, every corner outside the room is clean and spotless, under the warm winter sun, it is as clean as shining, just stare stupidly, and say in disbelief : "Is this my home?"
Tang Xiaotian came out of the kitchen, wearing a navy blue woolen sweater with sleeves rolled up to his arms, and holding a half-wet rag in his hand. His handsome face shone with a hardworking brilliance under his neat short hair! His image instantly became extremely tall in Shan Shan's eyes!
"Wow, I must have picked up a snail brother to go home!" Shan Shan ran over excitedly and said, "Brother snail, you are so kind! My home is shining!"
Tang Xiaotian didn't say a word, looking at her smiling face, he suddenly thought of another girl, who used to be the same as her, always smiling for small things as if she had obtained great happiness.
But now, he couldn't even see her shallowest smile.
Thinking of this, Tang Xiaotian was so distressed that he could hardly breathe. He held his breath and frowned tightly.
"Brother Xiaotian, what's the matter with you?" Seeing that he suddenly fell silent, Shan Dan couldn't help but stepped forward to touch him.
Tang Xiaotian took a deep breath, shook his head lightly and said, "It's okay."
"Oh." Shan Shan withdrew his hand and took a step back quietly. In fact, she found out last night that the current brother Xiaotian seems to have changed a lot. When he was a child, he always exuded warmth and righteousness, which made people unable to help but rely on him, but the current brother Xiaotian , but it seems to be covered with a cold and oppressive protective cover, making people afraid to approach it.
Just looking at the clock on the wall, it was almost 8 o'clock, she hurried to the sofa to pick up her schoolbag and said, "Brother Xiaotian, I'm going to school first, you can leave it to me to find someone, I am familiar with several major hospitals in Chicago, don't worry."
"Okay." Tang Xiaotian nodded slightly.
After a morning class at school, Shan Shan called the nurses and doctors in several hospitals where her mother had been hospitalized, and asked them to help find that man named Qu Weiran.
After class, Shan Shan rushed to the house of Mrs. Liu, who was working part-time. Mrs. Liu immigrated here three years ago, and she taught English by Shan Shan, and occasionally let her run errands. The city where my daughter went to school sent some things, and the reward was good, so I just accepted it.
Just adding today's part-time job fee is enough to raise enough electricity bills. After paying, I returned home and happily opened the door: "Brother Xiaotian, I'm back!"
There was no one in the room to answer, just calling again, still no one answered.
The smile on Shan Shan's face slowly fell, and he murmured in disappointment: "Not here."
The room was obviously clean, but it was still the same as before, deserted and empty, making people want to cry at any time.
Shan Shan raised her head, took a deep breath, and when she lowered her head again, her face was full of smiles again. She hummed a little song, and hurriedly put the fresh vegetables and fruits she just bought into the refrigerator, and then boiled a pot of water , made a cup of thick milk tea, poured it into a thermos cup and stuffed it into a schoolbag, looked back to see that it was already six o'clock in the evening, and if I didn't take the last bus to the neighboring city, it would be gone.
Shan Shan sat on the wooden steps in front of his house with his schoolbag on his back, waited for a while, then bowed his head before giving up, ran to the station, and got on the last bus.
There were not many people on the bus, only one-third of the passengers were seated, and they just sat down in the middle seat, curled up in the soft double seat alone, pulled the scarf over their faces, and the hat on the coat Take it up, cover up your beautiful oriental face, shrink your whole body, and reduce your sense of presence in the car. This kind of behavior can make you feel more secure.
The car moved slowly, the inside of the car was pitch black, the street lights outside the car window were dimly shaking, Shan Shan lowered his head, holding his mobile phone to call home every half hour, but no one answered.
Just put the phone in his pocket, lowered his head and wondered if brother Xiaotian would leave
No way, isn't he still looking for someone
What if he found it himself
Then you should tell me.
Ah, why aren't you at home? She thought that someone would be waiting for her when she came home today, just like a long time ago, when her mother was in good health, she always sat on the sofa in the living room and waited for her to come home. As soon as she opened the door, she could see Yes, that warm smile will wash away her tiredness, and a sentence: "Just, you are back." can make her happy as if she is in heaven.
Shan Shan raised his hand and knocked on his head vigorously, what were he doing, what was he being hypocritical about! Hmph, she's not a child for a long time, she's used to it, no one will wait for her at home anymore, right
I'm used to it, don't be sad, don't be sad.
Be happy.