Yu Zhou didn't eat dinner that day as she was thinking a lot.
She was thinking that her mentality seemed to have changed.
She certainly didn't think that it was wrong for the audience to expect a dream lineup. The fault lay with her, because her self-esteem was beginning to sprout.
She felt that she didn't match up well with the so-called "dream lineup". Each of them, including Xiang Wan, was shining brightly, but in everyone's eyes, she was still the one who didn't deserve it.
When everyone's expectations are on others, it's hard to have the confidence that you are good enough.
She originally thought that she was growing up with them. After all, she had published her novel successfully, and 100,000 people had read her novel. Every day, there was a fixed group of readers on her Weibo saying good morning and good night. Her new articles would not return to the situation where there were only 700 collections by the time they were finished.
But she never knew where the vague uneasiness in her heart came from.
Until she saw the speech about kowtow.
Until she realized that she minded the kowtow remark.
She began to understand that, like many other spectators, she believed that her current success was due to the radio drama "The Shrine", to Peng Qianzhi and to Su Chang.
Credit goes to her, the person she least wants to credit.
Sometimes she hated herself for being too sensitive. She kept telling herself to be more open-minded. Being open-minded would make her happier and more liked. Don’t be a shrew and don’t let negative energy control you.
But she soon discovered that this was a paradox, because if she was not sensitive, it would be difficult for her to observe, imagine, experience and empathize, and it would be difficult for her to create texts that touched people's hearts.
Sensitivity made her successful, but it also hurt her.
Her sensitivity makes her liked by others, but it also makes her disliked by others, and sometimes even disliked by herself.
Yu Zhou wasn’t sure whether spring was the breeding season for ostriches, but the ostrich in her heart began to grow up, and then she buried her neck in the sand.
At first, she simply rejected Su Chang's invitation to dinner, saying that she was busy writing a script.
Later, Su Chang commented on her Weibo. She looked at the excited fans and friends below and gave up her hand to reply.
Then that day Su Chang called her. She said a few words and fell silent. Then she said, I'm so sleepy. I want to sleep.
Of course Su Chang noticed her abnormality, but she told Su Chang that she was very tired from writing the script and had a headache.
However, by the end of April, the first script she had promised had not yet been given to Su to sing.
This time Su Chang knocked on her door.
She took time out of her project to come here, so she looked a little anxious when she opened the door, but she quickly calmed down and was still as calm as usual, like a touch of moonlight shaped into a human form.
On the contrary, Yu Zhou was in very bad condition. He hadn't washed his hair for two or three days, and his face was also shaved. There were several pimples on his chin. He was wearing a cotton long-sleeved nightgown and standing at the door looking at her.
Looked a little stunned.
She scratched behind her ear, "Why are you here?"
Su Chang frowned: "Why is it like this?"
Yu Zhou walked in, feeling very annoyed: "It's so annoying, so annoying, I can't write it, the script is too difficult to write, why don't you find a screenwriter."