Waiting is not a terrible thing.
The scary thing is that you don't know when what you've been waiting for will come. Traveling without a goal is a torment for the soul, and Song Qingluo is the lonely traveler on this journey.
He didn't know how long he would roam in it before he could reach the other shore and usher in his own light.
The name of light is a god named Lin Banxia.
After this catastrophe, it wasn't just Song Qingluo who changed. The heretical things that had frequently encountered troubles before had undergone a strange change—except for the ones that had appeared before, for a long period of time, no other heretical things had been produced, as if the source had been ruthlessly cut off.
As a front for preventing heresy, the operation of the base was also stagnant, and both the monitor and the recorder were rarely idle.
This kind of thing may not be a good thing for the recorders who are running for money, because they have to look for work elsewhere. For Li Su and Li Ye, the two monitors who have been working for many years, this is the best thing. They have already made a lot of money and have retired at a young age.
If Song Qingluo didn't buy antiques, he would probably be able to live like this, but... He now not only has no job, but also has to take care of two children.
Xiaohua's eyes couldn't go to a normal human hospital to see a doctor, so he had to ask Li Su to find a clinic that cooperated with the base. After the doctor checked Xiaohua's body structure, he said helplessly. Xiaohua's body is completely different from that of a normal child. She has no internal organs or bones. Except for the outer layer of skin, there is nothing similar to a human being. Fortunately, the doctor was originally from the base, and it was common for this situation to be common. He even thought that Xiaohua was an infected companion and asked her if she had been exposed to anything strange.
Song Qingluo could only find an excuse, and Xiaohua's eye disease also fell into a dead end.
Fortunately, Xiaohua didn't care much about it, and she still laughed and laughed every day. Xiaocao became a tool for her to guide the blind. She led her around, which made Song Qingluo feel a little better.
After learning that Song Qingluo had moved here, Li Su also came, along with several elderly professors. Song Qingluo was holding a broom while handling the fallen leaves in the yard. When she looked up and saw Li Su and the people behind him, she frowned slightly: "What are you doing?"
"Come and help." Li Su smiled, "Aren't you short of money now? Since you've found your mother, what's the use of so many treasures in the house? It's better to sell them for money." He pointed to himself A few gray-haired old men behind them said, "They are all top archeology professors. Let's see if we can find some treasures from your pile of junk."
Song Qingluo frowned slightly when he heard the words. He wanted to say something, but Li Su didn't give him a chance to refuse. He raised his hand and motioned for a few people to enter. These were old people in their 70s and 80s. Song Qingluo couldn't stop them violently, so he could only watch them enter the house and check the china he bought.
Then a series of sighs came from the room, obviously the situation was not optimistic.
Li Su was standing at the door, smiling and watching Song Qingluo's brows getting tighter and tighter: "Don't be so nervous."
Song Qingluo said calmly, "I'm not nervous."
Li Su said, "Aren't you nervous?"
Song Qingluo glanced at him and sneered: "Even if it's all fake, can I still starve to death if I have hands and feet?"
Li Su said earnestly, "You seem to have submitted your resume before, right? Did a serious unit call you?" He remembered that when Song Qingluo and Lin Banxia first met, they were playing with their resumes, but no one contacted him. , I was also surprised that the job was so hard to find.
Song Qingluo: "...What is a serious unit?" He had actually been out of touch with society for a long time, and paused for a moment, "Is the base serious?"
Li Su couldn't help laughing: "Having insurance and a job is more labor-intensive, isn't it serious?"
The two chatted for a while, and the old professor who checked over there came out, sighing as they came out, with a heavy expression like a doctor who declared that the patient was ineffective and died.
"Master, how is it?" Li Su asked.
"No, no, no." The gray-haired old man replied, "How much did your friend spend on these things?"
Li Su looked at Song Qingluo.
Song Qingluo said calmly, "Not much."
Li Su: "It's just nine digits."
The old man's breathing paused for a while, probably calculating in his mind how many nine-digit numbers were in his mind. After the calculation, he looked at Song Qingluo with a bit of grief in his eyes: "This... this..."
"Just say it straight." Li Su said, "He can handle it."
"Then... I'll say it." It was late autumn, and a layer of sweat appeared on the forehead of the old professor. He wiped it with a handkerchief and whispered, "No one is true."
With a click, the broom Song Qingluo was holding was pinched in half by him. He still had no expression and said lightly, "Oh, it's hard work."
"Young man." The old professor couldn't help laughing, "Aren't you doing something illegal? Some of these messy antiques are a bit similar, even if you don't even look at the patterns on them? Why am I? There are several Peppa pigs that my granddaughter likes…”
Li Su was laughing beside him, he didn't dare to laugh at this moment, otherwise Song Qingluo would definitely hold revenge.
Song Qingluo was expressionless: "Okay, thank you."
The old professor left, leaving Song Qingluo and a whole room of fakes behind. The autumn wind blew and rolled up the thick fallen leaves, which made his expression a bit bleak. After Li Su delivered the people, he turned around and said, "Find a dealer who sells junk to collect the things. It also takes up space in the house... You must be careful in the future." He originally meant to let Song Qing Luo don't buy it, but this guy replied in a flat tone: "Okay, I will be more serious when I buy it in the future."
Damn, do you still want to buy it? Li Su just thought about it, and before he had time to say anything, a thunder suddenly fell in the sky, but after a while, the big raindrops crashed into the yard, and the two of them were instantly soaked like chickens in soup.
Li Su went into the house to take shelter from the rain while swearing, and said, "Damn it, it's already November, how come there are still thunderstorms."
But as soon as they entered, the rain stopped the next moment.
Li Su looked at the sky suspiciously: "What's the matter? Was targeted?" He looked at Song Qingluo, "Did you just say you want to buy antiques?"
Song Qingluo: "..."
Li Su said, "No way?"
Song Qingluo didn't think so, but it was a bit too coincidental. The two of them were soaked all over, so they had no choice but to change into clean clothes.
Then Li Su called out a few scrap collectors for help, and sold the antiques in Song Qingluo's house. They didn't sell a few dollars, and they didn't even have enough food for a month. Li Su looked at Qian and thought that it was fortunate that Lin Banxia was not here, otherwise he might not be able to eat for a long time.
Recently, Song Qingluo was in great need of money, because he found that the heretical things had something to do with Lin Banxia, so he began to search for traces of them everywhere. But the probability of heretical things appearing is very low recently, and even almost disappeared in recent months...
"Alas." Li Su, who had changed his clothes, shook his head, "I have nothing to do anyway, so I'll come and stay at your house for a few days."
"Whatever you want." Song Qingluo didn't care if the yard was big.
So Li Su and Li Ye moved in. Song Qingluo didn't really care at first, but then they got a little annoyed, sticking together every day like a conjoined baby. Li Su was spoiling him because of Li Ye. Li Ye is a few years older and still looks like a child. He even has to feed his mouth when he eats, which is disgusting.
In fact, Li Su did it on purpose, he wished to find something for Song Qingluo to divert his attention. Of course it wasn't like this when he first moved in, until one day he suddenly discovered that Song Qingluo didn't sleep all night, sitting in the corner of the yard, staring at the sky above his head. There was no expression on Song Qingluo's face, and his facial features seemed a little blurry in the night, but it gave Li Su a very bad feeling... It was as if he was about to disappear.
If he could see Lin Banxia again, Li Su doubted that Song Qingluo could do anything. Even if his physique is special, Song Qingluo is a person after all. If he doesn't sleep all night, he won't be able to bear it sooner or later. Li Su's persuasion was useless, Song Qingluo was very stubborn and obviously would not listen to his advice. After thinking about it, Li Su finally came up with a way to disgust him, so that night, Song Qingluo quietly walked to the courtyard to sit down and continue to be Wangfushi, when he heard rustling from the grass next to him. A rustling sound.
Song Qingluo listened to it for a while, and her face changed suddenly. She gritted her teeth and got up and left. The next day, she didn't give Li Su a good face for the whole day.
Li Su was thick-skinned, he just pretended he couldn't see him, and he was still laughing and laughing.
The previous job was gone, and most of Kari's money belonged to Lin Banxia. In order to make ends meet, Song Qingluo had to start thinking about finding another job. Unfortunately, the reality is much crueler than imagined. Song Qingluo completed his studies in the base, which means that he does not have a degree certificate in the traditional sense...
Finding a job suddenly became difficult.
When Li Su learned of this, he smiled and leaned back. Otherwise, Song Qingluo, you can work for me, and I will pay you a salary every month to make sure you have enough.
Song Qingluo refused without hesitation.
At this moment, someone suddenly sent charcoal in the snow. Mr. Zhu, who had an old friend with Song Qingluo before, suddenly came to the door and said that he wanted to talk to Song Qingluo.
Li Su didn't know this man and asked him what he was doing
Song Qingluo just said something, he said, "Sell my antiques."
Li Su's face suddenly changed greatly, if he hadn't seen that the man was getting old, he probably would have gotten up and chased him with a broom. Fortunately, he held back in the end, thinking that Song Qingluo had no money anyway, and he would not use Lin Banxia's savings to see what he could buy for antiques.
Old Man Zhu and Song Qingluo chatted for a while, and slowly took out something from his pocket. Li Su sat next to him and took a closer look, and found that it was a bank card wrapped in plastic paper, Mr. Zhu slowly handed the bank card to Song Qingluo and said, "I heard that you are short of money recently, first Use it."
Song Qingluo didn't answer: "What does this mean?"
"Hey, it's all your own money." Mr. Zhu said lightly, "Don't you always buy antiques from me? These are all your money for antiques."
Song Qingluo: "..."
"Why are you standing still?" Old Man Zhu said, "This antique market is very deep, and you have no experience. You have to buy some messy things. Stop you, and I am afraid that you will go to other places to buy. If you want to be deceived, then I'll do it." He said calmly.
Song Qingluo was silent for a while.
"I also watched you grow up." Old Man Zhu said, "When you enter that kind of place, every penny is your hard-earned money. I don't want to see your money being defrauded by others. You are also old. , it should be the age of starting a family and starting a business, and you have to take care of the children, so don't buy any antiques." After saying this, he remembered something, and took back the bank card he handed out, "No, this money is in your hands. Don't worry, what about the young man with you? The one named Lin Banxia?"
Song Qingluo's throat moved slightly: "He's not at home."
"Did you go out to play?" Old Man Zhu said, "We've seen a lot in this generation, and it's not easy to find someone to live with. I can see that he likes you and is also a good boy. You pay for the money. Leave it to him, don't waste it yourself."
Song Qingluo whispered, "He's gone."
Mr. Zhu was stunned: "Why did you leave?"
Song Qingluo said, "To save me."
Mr. Zhu: "... Then, will you come back?"
Song Qingluo said, "I don't know if he will come back." He seemed to be waiting in the desert for a gloomy rain.
Mr. Zhu thought that the two were just quarreling, he hesitated for a while, and said in a low voice, "Since he likes you so much, he will definitely come back. There is no obstacle to overcome.”
Song Qingluo smiled bitterly.
Mr. Zhu left the bank card and left. He regretted bringing up the topic of Lin Banxia. After all, he had never seen such an expression on Song Qingluo's face. This reminded him of what he looked like when Song Qingluo's family had an accident. He seemed to be on him again, seeing the boy who was holding on to his grief and pretending to be indifferent back then. Song Qingluo is a stubborn person, which can be seen from the years he has been looking for his mother. Now that Lin Banxia is gone, how long will he be looking for? Can you still find it? Mr. Zhu felt a little uncomfortable in his heart, raised his hand and wiped his wet eyes.
Song Qingluo accepted the bank card. He really needed the money now, of course, not to buy antiques, but to find Lin Banxia.
Without the news of heresy, he changed his mind and began to search for the trail of meteors all over the world. He remembered that Lin Banxia's changes were related to the stars, and he hoped to find vague clues.
Autumn and spring come, another season, time flies, and a year has passed in the blink of an eye.
During this year, Li Su received only a handful of assignments about heresy. This kind of thing that used to appear frequently has now become a rare thing. Li Su has come into contact with it three times a year, and one of them was due to a misunderstanding. The base, of course, is also researching why the heretical disappears, concluding that the source of the pollution has been suppressed. Therefore, the radiation to the object is constantly decreasing, and the pollution disappears at the same time as the radiation decreases, so this heresy has become a rare item.
This is naturally a good thing for most people. You don't need to risk your life to seal up those things, you can live an ordinary life, peaceful and leisurely, as if those exciting experiences are just a vast dream.
Song Qingluo was the exact opposite of this matter. The person he was looking for had an inseparable relationship with heretics. Their disappearance also meant that he couldn't find him.
Despair is like slowly spreading rust stains, corroding Song Qingluo's body little by little. His surface is normal, he seems to be living harder than ordinary people, but he feels that something is constantly being lost.
Song Qingluo knew that it was something called hope.
The more time passed, the more he felt that it was impossible to find Lin Banxia. It wasn't that he couldn't find it, but that Lin Banxia didn't want to come back. He left here and became another existence that transcends human beings. This existence naturally has no human feelings. Ji Feng is right. It's not that Lin Banxia can't come back, it's just that he doesn't want to.
This realization made Song Qingluo feel hopeless. He kept telling himself not to give up, he could wait until that day. However, these hypnotic words could not fill his empty soul... The huge torn wound continued to spread, and it seemed that it was about to turn into a black hole, consuming him completely.
No one noticed Song Qingluo's strangeness, not even the few friends who lived with him were aware of Song Qingluo's soul sinking in the darkness.
Song Qingluo left in a hurry and came back tired. He no longer looked up at the starry sky, but just sat silently in the empty room, staring at the empty wall in front of him. The thoughts of Lin Banxia were like maggots on the tarsal bones. He even had hallucinations. He saw Lin Banxia slightly raised his lips and showed him a familiar gentle smile.
"Aren't you coming back?" Song Qingluo said to herself, "You don't love me anymore."
"If so, I'd rather die then."
"At least until you die, have your love."
"Lin Banxia, I can't take it anymore."
It's only been a year, but he seems to have passed such a long time. He came from the dark hell and saw the world of fireworks. Then he fell again and could no longer endure the darkness he was accustomed to.
Lin Banxia is his light and his world of fireworks.
At this time, the light was gone, and he was the only one left, walking alone in the dark.
…
Such a beautiful spring morning.
The flowers in the yard are all in bloom, and the peony, which occupies half of the garden, blooms with gorgeous stamens, and the beauty is amazing.
Before he knew it, Ji Leshui had lived here for a year. He got up from the bed as usual, and went out to see Song Qingluo's car parked at the door. He thought he should have come back last night. Recently, Song Qingluo has been going out more and more frequently, and there is very little time to stay at home. Ji Leshui thinks it is a good thing. After all, Song Qingluo is better when he is busy than when he is idle. He returned to the yard, and suddenly heard Xiaohua's cry, Ji Leshui was startled, and hurried to go, who would have seen Xiaohua hug Xiaocao, sitting on the ground in embarrassment. Xiaohua heard the footsteps of the person coming, and wailed: "Brother, brother... Xiaocao, Xiaocao is not moving!"
Ji Leshui looked down and found that the usually lively Xiao Cave was lying dead in Xiao Hua's arms at the moment, motionless, as if it had become a lifeless... skeleton frame.
The author has something to say:
Song Qingluo: My wife ran away with someone, and the antiques with the original price of 1 million or 2 million were sold cheaply. You can't buy them and you can't be fooled...
Lin Banxia stuffed a quick-acting heart-saving pill into her mouth.
Song Qingluo is really miserable, looking for her mother for the first half of her life, and a wife for the second half of her life (.