The dark night always sinks people, and the darkness will stir up all the emotions of people, and put them naked in the air, allowing them to ferment and transpire. It may be like a cloud of fog, diffused unscrupulously under the cover of darkness.
When the sun breaks, the fragile emotions can't see the light, and if they don't go away, they have to go away.
Qin Fang is very serious in every exam month. He doesn't study much at ordinary times, but he will not be perfunctory in the exam month. When he was reviewing before, he didn't look at his mobile phone all day long, but now he doesn't carry his mobile phone most of the time. As long as he doesn't carry his mobile phone, as long as he controls his thoughts and doesn't fly around, he can calm down easily and the review efficiency is also very high.
The secretary of the Communist Youth League gave him review materials, and Qin Fang thanked him with a smile.
The little girl once had such half-hearted thoughts about him, but it's long gone, and now her boyfriend is also sitting in the study room, and the party secretary whispered to Qin Fang: "I sorted it out myself, so please keep it. "
Qin Fang said thank you again.
The party secretary shook his fist at him to cheer him up, and then went back to sit beside his boyfriend.
Qin Fang looked through the information and thought that the little girls are as kind as angels.
When there is no class, he stays in the self-study room from 8:00 in the morning until the teaching building closes. Qin Fang has a few books, two pens and the key to the dormitory in his schoolbag, and nothing else.
There was a person sitting on the side steps of the teaching building. Qin Fang knew there was a person there, but he would not turn his head to look. It was like his shadow, accompanying him for a while in the dark, quietly. They have always had a tacit understanding, Qin Fang will not turn his head, and he will not show up.
He took out the key and opened the door. The dormitory was dark, and the cell phone was on the table. Qin let go of the light and walked over to have a look. It was Jian Muyang who just sent him a message.
—Brother, Dad bought you a new car.
—Ah, I didn’t buy it, it was a gift from someone else! Cool!
In addition to these two items, there was also news from Hua Tong, asking where he was having dinner at night, and chatting in a mess in the group. Qin Fang read back a few, and then went to take a shower.
He gets very tanned in summer, and I don't know why he tans so easily. In the mirror, Qin Fang's arms, legs and face were several degrees darker than his body, which he himself disliked and didn't want to look at.
He only likes the white ones, the ones that are so white that the blood vessels can be seen clearly, and turn red when you suck them lightly. When I flushed with my head up, the water hit my face, and some restricted-rated images flashed in my mind.
—too white. Sometimes he obviously didn't use any force, but he just squeezed it, and the place he touched would turn red. He just took a bite, and that small piece of skin would turn yellow and blue after it turned red. If he really made a fuss without seriousness, it would look extraordinarily hideous, and he would feel distressed afterwards. Kiss and kiss on top.
At that time, Qin Fang was a little bit fond of violence, biting people, and liked two people to express and communicate in a very masculine way. When he was going crazy, Xing Yan was very indulgent, allowing him to bite, and when he bit hard, he frowned slightly and stroked his scalp. Afterwards, Qin Fang couldn't bear to feel distressed, so he would smile and say, "Bite it, it seems that white spots really hurt people."
Qin Fang shook his head and turned off the water. Hardened, but no strength to do something about it.
He was the only one in the dormitory, and it seemed that he didn't even need to wear shorts, and he could sleep directly with a pair of underwear. There was no roommate lying down and playing with his mobile phone, so he just lay on the bed and masturbated without avoiding others.
Jian Muyang sent another message and took a photo of Qin Fang getting off the car. The car is a little too flashy, suitable for Feng Zhe and the others, but not for him.
Qin Fang looked at Jian Muyang's face with a silly smile, and smiled at him next time: Why don't you sleep, you won't go to school tomorrow.
Jian Muyang: Ahh, I have been on summer vacation for a week! Brother, this is the third time I have told you!
Qin Fang: Hahaha I'm sorry, sorry, I'm a little confused in my review these days.
Jian Muyang: It's okay! forgive you!
Qin Fang chatted with him for a while. The kid usually chatted with his classmates and saved a lot of emoticons, those cute little emoticons. In the past, Qin Fang sometimes saved it by hand, and used it to show off his cuteness when chatting. Now I don't save it anymore, there is no cuteness to sell.
Jian Muyang said: My little brother kept laughing tonight until he hiccupped. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA It's a bit silly.
Qin Fang said: You were like that when you were young, he was a little fool and you are a second fool.
Jian Muyang sent an angry emoji.
I am a big fool. Qin thought to himself and laughed. I don't know if the two brothers are stupid or not, but he is really stupid.
The exams are almost all over, and there are two exams left, after which all the exams during his undergraduate period will be gone. Hua Tong and Qin Fang were reviewing under the air conditioner in the coffee shop. Hua Tong said, "Feng Zhe and the others have already started to carnival. Why are they on vacation so early?"
"They always have early holidays. Last year, they said that the road construction at the gate was closed for three months, did you forget?" Qin Fang said.
"Incomparable." Hua Tong smiled and shook his head.
Feng Zhe's school is a very ordinary undergraduate, and the school's management is not strict at ordinary times, because it can take more than a month's vacation for nothing to repair a road. Qin Fang's mind was almost filled with terminology explanations, this and that were actually pretty much the same, and he almost vomited from memorizing them.
The owner of the cafe came up and brought them two cups of cold drinks, and said, "Take a break, you two are working too hard."
"Thank you brother," Hua Tong took a sip and said, "This is not bad, your new one?"
"Learning online, call me when you're hungry." The boss waved to them and went downstairs again.
A place without air-conditioning in this kind of weather can't welcome people, Hua Tong said: "I'm going to live at your place tonight."
Qin Fang said: "Okay, Ke'er's bed is not cleaned up, and whoever comes can live in his place."
Hua Tong tentatively asked: "Then I will go?"
"Go ahead." Qin Fang was overjoyed, "Why are you still being tactful?"
Hua Tong took another sip of something and said, "Didn't I just want to give you some space? I'm afraid you'll be upset. Otherwise, I'd have gone early, and I'm going to be a mummified corpse in my dormitory."
"What's bothering me." Qin Fang smiled again and said, "It's not a day or two to bother you."
"Get lost." Hua Tong cursed with a smile.
Normally, Hua Tong would have moved to Qin Fang's dormitory long ago. An air-conditioned dormitory is heaven. But this period of time is quite special, Hua Tong wants to give him some space, Qin Fang now goes out without taking his mobile phone every day, he probably wants to stay by himself for a while. But now it seems that he is fine, and he is not depressed. It is time to review and chat, everything is normal, so Hua Tong doesn't worry about it anymore.
In the evening, the two of them went back to the dormitory together after dinner, and Qin Fang brought a blanket for Hua Tong. There are a lot of clothes in the closet, and it is very difficult to pull out a blanket. Qin Fang does have a lot of clothes and shoes. He is very trendy and loves to dress up. In the past, Hua Tong always said he was gay. Which straight man is like him. At that time, Qin Fang still blocked Feng Zhe and Fan Linyi, and these two were the same, especially Fan Linyi, who was addicted to saving sneakers.
Looking back now, none of these three are left. Both Hua Tong and Qin Fang thought of this when pulling out the blanket, Qin Fang said with a smile: "You must have opened your mouth."
Hua Tong took a new toothbrush to wash, and said as he walked: "It must, Wacrates, the prophet."
Qin Fang couldn't wear underwear to sleep anymore when there was someone, so he put on a pair of shorts after taking a shower. Hua Tong was lying on the bed playing with his mobile phone, holding it high, Qin Fang said to him: "Your posture is too unique, aren't you afraid of hitting your face?"
"It's always smashing, I'm used to it." Hua Tong said.
Qin Fang went to his bed, and there was a message on his mobile phone. He took a look and saw that it was Han Xiaogong.
— Have a meal together after the exam
Qin Fanghui: OK.
Han Xiaogong said: Waiting for you.
Qin Fang: OK.
After breaking contact with Xing Yan, Qin Fang never contacted Si Tu and Han Xiaogong again. Si Tu called him, but Qin Fang didn't bring his mobile phone. It was a long time since he saw him, and he didn't call back. I don't have any emotions towards them, and if I had my mobile phone in my pocket at that time, I wouldn't refuse to answer it.
What's going on between him and Xing Yan is a matter between the two of them. He won't use this to blame others, and he won't. I've known them for so long, and we've gotten along well, because when he broke with Xing Yan, his line was broken, how could he be so childish.
Taking a step back, on the day of the ceremony, Han Xiaogong didn't answer any of the two questions Qin Fang asked. I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable so I couldn't tell the truth, and I didn't want to lie to him so I didn't tell lies, so he kept his mouth shut and kept silent. Qin Fang received this consideration and respect.
When adults communicate, the first thing they learn is not to vent their anger, and not to question like children. You all know why you don’t tell me. A position is a position, there is no why. If one day this matter is changed to his head, how will Hua Tong decide what to think, Qin Fang will not tell others that between a pair of lovers, no matter how good a friend is, they are outsiders, and outsiders will not meddle indiscriminately and will not be troublesome , which is a tacit agreement.
"Who are you talking to?" Hua Tong still held the phone in the original posture, glanced at Qin Fang, and asked him.
"Make an appointment with Xiao Gong." Qin Fang said.
"Ah." Hua Tong replied, then looked at the phone.
Qin Fang asked him: "Can you play lying on your side? I look tired when you hold it like this."
"Won't you stop looking at me?" Hua Tong freed up a finger to point to his eyes, "Every time I lie on my side to play, I feel that the eye under the pressure is about to become short-sighted, and I have to control it at 100 degrees." Now, I don't want to wear glasses."
Qin Fang turned over and faced the wall, not looking at him anymore.
They each played with their mobile phones, and the dormitory was quiet for a while, only the sound of the air conditioner blowing. Hua Tong sighed suddenly in the silence: "The air conditioner keeps my life alive..."
Qin Fang said: "You should be promising."
Hua Tong was tired of looking at the phone while holding it up like this, so he stopped playing, put the phone aside, and lay down flat without moving.
After a few more minutes, he probably got bored and wanted to chat with Qin Fang, so he called out, "Fang."
"Yes." Qin Fang agreed.
"You..." Hua Tong asked him, "Are you angry? Do you want to beat him up?"
Qin Fang answered quickly and said honestly, "I think so."
Hua Tong smiled and said, "I'll accompany you? You want to beat us up."
Qin Fang also laughed and said, "No need for you."
Hua Tong said, "I'm afraid you won't be able to beat him."
Qin Fang didn't turn around, still facing the wall, whispered: "I can."
Qin Fang was probably looking at Moments, and his fingers were swipe back and forth unconsciously, a little bored. Hua Tong called him again, and Qin Fang said "hmm" again.
Hua Tong asked him: "Do you hate?"
Qin paused for a moment with his fingers scribbling on the screen, and then he said, "No."
Hua Tong: "He lied to you."
Qin Fang didn't turn around, just said: "He didn't."
Hua Tong asked: "Are you trying to excuse him?"
The screen of Qin Fang's phone has gone black, but his posture has not changed, and remains the same. Qin Fang said calmly: "No excuses, one size fits all. He didn't lie, and I don't hate him either."
Hua Tong sighed, lay there and said: "It seems that I am still awake."
"You Fang has never been confused." Qin Fang hooked the corners of his mouth, smiled and said, "Hate only when you have regrets, hate only when you are not reconciled, hate only when you are owed. I have neither, it is a story that should be respected , to commemorate it with hatred... It's a pity."
"Aren't you sorry? I feel a little bit sorry." After all, Hua Tong is a straight man, so even though he is regretful, he still thinks it's good to be separated, and there's nothing wrong with returning to normal in the future, "but it's not bad, at the best time Talk about a beautiful relationship, and when you think about it later, it will always be young, beautiful and bright. It makes me want to talk about it too, and I will find someone to talk about."
Qin Fang said "um", and said, "I still want to thank fate for giving me this story, it's worth it. Let's talk about it when you meet, brother."
Hua Tong turned off the light, and it was dark in front of his eyes. Qin Fang put down his phone and closed his eyes.
What Qin Fang said was not a lie, he really didn't hate it. The affection in the eyes cannot be faked, the temperature and the full love when the lips and teeth touch each other cannot be faked, they are all real.
It was a relationship of mutual respect and love, all sincere and passionate.
After the initial anger subsided, many extreme thoughts also subsided, and the thinking was able to recall many things clearly and rationally. After going through it from beginning to end, I finally felt that I would like to thank Xing Yan for giving him a desperate love. Xing Yan tried his best to make him happy, and Qin Fang received all his kindness.
As for the others, that is a personal choice, and there is no right or wrong in choosing idealism. After waking up from the dream, the story is over. Although the ending is flawed, at least the story itself is good every day it exists. You can’t just say that what you experienced is not a good story just because the ending is different from what he originally expected.
Qin Fang can objectively evaluate this matter. Be sensible and calm.
But being objective doesn't mean he doesn't hurt.
Qin Fang closed his eyes, touched his heart in the dark, and slowly inhaled—it was fucking painful.
After the last subject exam, Qin Fang's semester is over.
Huatong and his college still have two subjects, one tomorrow and one the day after tomorrow. Qin Fang only brought a pen to the exam, so he only had a bunch of keys and a pen in his pocket on the way back to the dormitory.
There was no familiar shadow behind him, even if he didn't look back every day, but there was no one today, he still knew it.
Someone he knew greeted Qin Fang on the road, and Qin Fang smiled and talked to others.
It was a cloudy day, no sun, and not too hot. There are many students in the dormitory area pulling suitcases to leave, and the school is much empty at the end of the term.
Qin Fang walked downstairs to the dormitory and raised his head. Suddenly bumping into his line of sight, Qin Fang paused for a moment, and then quickly returned to normal.
— This was the first time he and Xing Yan met after that day, standing face to face in front of each other.
Qin Fang walked over.
Xing Yan seemed to have lost weight, Qin Fang looked at him, greeted him, and said "Hi".
Xing Yan cleared his throat, looked into Qin Fang's eyes, and asked, "Can we talk?"
Qin Fang said, "I suggest you stop talking."