Qin Fang talked. After he finished speaking, he turned his head to look at Xing Yan. Xing Yan was wearing a thin sports coat. The wind blew from behind, and the clothes stuck to Xing Yan's back. He really lost a lot of weight.
Xing Yan leaned on his legs with both hands, and held the harmonica weakly in one hand. He looked ahead, his sleeves were blown forward by the wind.
After the ceremony, they met twice, but the first time they failed to talk properly, Qin Fang beat Xing Yan, then turned and left. The second time, one was in the car and the other was outside the car. They looked at each other for a few minutes, gave each other a look and a movement, and then left separately.
This time, An Ansheng was finally sitting here, separated by a very close distance, able to chat quietly and peacefully.
Qin Fang asked: "You keep saying you want to talk to me, what do you want to talk about?"
Xing Yan's voice was low, and it was the voice Qin Fang liked very much. He said, "Yes, I want to talk to you. But now that you're asking me, I don't know where to start."
Qin Fang smiled and said, "Then let me ask, and I will ask you to answer."
Xing Yan nodded and agreed.
What Qin Fang wanted to ask should be to open his mouth, but now he feels that he doesn't know where to start. The atmosphere is really a bit stiff, it feels like there is a transparent film between them, and the previous intimacy is separated by a layer, and no one can start the conversation.
This was a bit awkward, the two of them glanced at each other, neither expressed expression nor spoke, but smiled at the same time after a while. Qin Fang shook his head with a smile, sighed and said, "Oh, it makes me really uncomfortable."
Xing Yan was also laughing, a faint smile hung on his lips, but it didn't enter his eyes.
After laughing for a while, I felt a lot more relaxed. Qin Fang leaned back on his arms, leaned up a little, and asked, "You never wanted to be with me from the beginning... right?"
Qin Fang focused on the point when he opened his mouth, without any buffer, which was in line with his style.
Xing Yan still kept his original posture and did not deny it.
Qin Fang smiled: "So the breakup is the result you decided at the beginning? Have a serious talk and then separate?"
He asked very calmly, not agitated, nor in a questioning tone, just ordinary questions. Qin Fang couldn't see Xing Yan's face from this angle, only his back.
"So my initial guess was correct," Qin Fang continued, "I met a player."
Surprisingly, Xing Yan shook his head. He looked sideways at Qin Fang, and said in a deep voice, "That's what you said, not me."
Qin Fang raised his eyebrows, and Xing Yan said, "I never said I was a player."
Xing Yan pursed his lips and said, "I really didn't think about it for a long time at first, but I'm not playing."
Qin Fang didn't quite understand and kept looking at him. Xing Yan looked into his eyes. Xing Yan's eyes were so dark that they could suck people in. Qin Fang asked him, "What do you mean?"
It was the first time for Xing Yan to talk about his feelings with someone, and he really didn't know how to speak. He turned back, lowered his head and thought about it, and asked Qin Fang after a while: "From the very beginning of your relationship, did you think about the future?"
Qin Fang thought about his question, and Xing Yan asked again: "Have you been thinking about my future since the first day you were with me?"
Xing Yan asked two questions that Qin Fang hadn't thought about, and now that he was asked this way, Qin Fang was still a little confused. Of course he thought about the future and the future, but when he started thinking about these things is indeed a bit vague.
"You said I played with you, but I didn't." Xing Yan turned back, still looking at the front, "I want to chase you, I like you, it's all true."
A sudden liking now sounds like a pain in the heart. The result is here, and then look at the past likes in reverse, how sad it is no matter how you look at it.
Qin Fang sat up straight, his shoulders were even with Xing Yan, he looked at Xing Yan's side face, the line of his jaw became clearer after Xing Yan lost weight.
"You don't believe what I'm saying now," Xing Yan said in a low voice, "You are too angry."
Qin Fang said, "I believe it."
Xing Yan looked at him, Qin Fang said: "I am indeed angry. But you can say what you want, and I will believe what you say. I came here today to listen to what you have to say. If I don't believe it, I won't come. "
Xing Yan nodded, and Qin Fang smiled at him.
"That's what I want to say," Xing Yan looked at Qin Fang and repeated it again, speaking slowly, "I'm not a player, and the part I'm with you is not playing. There are some things I did wrong. There is nothing to say, and I don’t deny it. I want to tell you this sentence not to calm you down or something. I can guess what decision you will make. I say this can’t change the result, but I have to say it. "
Qin Fang asked him, "Why?"
Xing Yan said: "In order to let you know that this is an equal relationship, you and I are equal, and there is no one who controls the other. The word 'play' itself seems not so respectful, I don't have it, I respect you, Also respect feelings. I did something wrong, but don't be sad."
From the beginning to the end, as long as Xing Yan said something seriously, no Qin Fang could hold it back. Xing Yan would rather be fisted by Qin Fang just to say, I didn't play with you, so don't be sad. A few words from him made Qin Fang's eyes blush and his heart soften. Xing Yan usually talks too little, he doesn't talk about himself, he doesn't know how to talk about feelings, so when he talks like this, he always goes straight and doesn't go around in circles.
This sentence made Qin Fang almost unable to continue the conversation, his nose was sore. Every word Xing Yan said was sincere, and sincerity was touching.
Qin Fang didn't speak for a long time, and he didn't talk to Xing Yan until the emotion subsided.
"I really can't see through you, sometimes I think I know you well, but I don't. Like now, you're sitting here telling me this, I think you're sincere, I even want to go out of the country the fuck Forget all the messy conflicts, let’s just pretend there’s never been one, we’ll go down now and get on with each other later. Including the six months we’ve been together, I’ve never felt that you were insincere, and I even think that you like me more than me A lot. But in the end, the truth is different from what I thought, you half-concealed my feelings, I think you are right in front of my eyes, but you are like a cloud of fog, I can't touch it at all."
Xing Yan didn't reply, Qin Fang said: "The whole world knows that I will be the last one to go abroad. This is really not in line with sincerity, but I still believe everything you say. How amazing it is."
Qin Fang himself joked, and shook his head with a broken smile: "I never doubted your words."
They sat on the top of the building chatting like this, the wind blew up the clothes again, the clothes were empty, and the heart was a little empty. They talked a lot, and the atmosphere was not always depressed. Sometimes they made each other laugh, looked at each other, and then smiled tacitly.
Qin Fang asked Xing Yan when he became interested in him.
Xing Yan said it had been there from the very beginning.
Qin Fang raised his eyebrows: "At first? During the fight? Could it be the time you bumped into your shoulder?"
Xing Yan shook his head: "That's not true. At that time, you left me nothing but being handsome and able to pretend."
Qin Fang laughed for a long time, and then said: "In terms of pretending, no one can pretend to be you, and you can still think that others are pretending."
"It's annoying enough for me to pretend, so it's even more annoying to watch others pretend." Xing Yan said.
At that time, both of them were quite capable of pretending, neither of them was better than the other, and it was probably annoying to look at each other.
Qin Fang asked when it was, and Xing Yan said that he really liked Qin Fang's library.
"You sat across from me. I thought you would continue to pretend like before, but you suddenly smiled at me. You laughed so hard that I couldn't help it. I was very puzzled at the time. Why are you laughing when the enemy meets you?" Xing Yanyao She shook her head and said, "You broke my emotions, and my expression almost collapsed."
They had never talked about it before, and it was so funny to talk about it now. At that time, Xing Yan's style was still pretty good, and he kept a sullen face every time, and the character of Ku Ge never fell off. Now it's really interesting to hear him tell about Brother Cool's heart in person.
Xing Yan was telling the truth. Qin Fang's smile at that time was too powerful. Xing Yan felt his heart beating very clearly at that time. Maybe it was love at first sight. Although it was not the first time they met, Xing Yan felt that it was the first time they met. Indeed, I was very moved.
"Then you want to chase me?" Qin Fang asked.
"No," Xing Yan shook his head, "I didn't even bother with you."
The answer was so surprising, Qin Fang laughed again, and asked him: "You make me laugh, and you still don't want to talk to me? Why?"
Xing Yan replied indifferently: "Because I am cool, I am cold."
Qin Fang was hahahaha again.
Xing Yan was obviously tempted at that time, and Qin Fang also posted on it like a fool. He added WeChat, and asked people to help him occupy seats. He made money for eating and playing together. Send it to people's mouths.
Qin Fang is a person who can easily attract people's hearts, and the more you get in touch with him, the more you like him. He is a sunny person, and such a person is desirable.
"Actually, it's the first time I like someone. If I can pretend so well, who can I fall in love with? I used to despise anyone. I guess other people also despise me. Pretending like this is the only way people like it in TV dramas." , in reality, others have to call idiots behind their backs."
Qin Fang still laughed, Xing Yan's words were too funny.
"Graduation was still far away at that time, and there was still more than a year, and the school application had not returned to me, so it was too far away at that time. It was the first time I fell in love with a handsome guy, and you always came to me , It feels so good to be excited."
Xing Yan now talks about that time very naturally, and he doesn't feel embarrassed. After all, it has been so good since then, and so many intimate things have been done, there is nothing to say about those hazy likings.
"I like someone and I want to fall in love. That's what I thought at the time. At that time, I really didn't think that it would be far away, because the future is still far away and very vague. Only after we chase after each other can we be eligible to talk about the future. At that stage, how could I have the intention to go to the future?" Think about those, it's not time."
In the early stages of a relationship, you only look at the present and don’t want to think about the future, and young people are like this when they are in love with friends. Heartbeat, pursuit, love, and then consider the future. No one thinks about eternity when they are in a heartbeat. It is too much to say whether to pursue Chengdu or not.
Qin Fang also felt that what he said made sense, and asked with a smile: "Then why don't you deny that I said you are a player?"
"I'm not used to talking about these things, and it's not too important. At that time, I really didn't want you to continue to entangle." When Xing Yan said this, he glanced at Qin Fang, and said in a low voice: "At first I wanted to fall in love with you, but now At that time, I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. The words you said on my birthday made me not willing. It’s good that you are so confused. My personality is not suitable for dating. Talking is ruining. If you are a brother or not, you are too kind."
Qin Fang raised his eyebrows and said, "It's late."
"Well, it's late." Xing Yan nodded and said, "Brother Fang is too strong, I can't retreat."
"Nonsense," Qin Fang laughed, "I'm tempted to retreat wherever you go, and if you retreat, I will turn around and chase you."