When the pleasure gained from venting one's feelings in revenge disappears, what follows is regret, disgust and resentment.
It was with such a mood that Xie Changgeng walked out of the door.
After he took the risk of killing himself at the age of fourteen, the young man who used to read by lamplight in the rainy nights of Bashan Mountain and get up at the sound of the cock-crow at the fourth watch was gone forever.
He will never forget the day when he returned home from the exam, only to see his father being carried back home, vomiting blood and dead. It was unforgettable, and he would never forget it until his death.
Although his father was only a postmaster, he was honest and knowledgeable. Xie Changgeng still remembers that when he was a child, his father taught him to write his name and said to him, "In the early morning, the star is bright, and in the evening, it is Changgeng. The Big Dipper is scattered, and Changgeng is born. He was born when the Changgeng star appeared in the sky, so he was named according to the time."
His father was the person he respected most in his life.
The man who could walk away so recklessly after committing the crime was just a general. A mere fifth rank, yet he could be so arrogant.
From then on, the law of the jungle and the pursuit of success became everything. The unwillingness to be inferior to others in his blood also destined him to be born for this path. His desires and ambitions continued to expand as he climbed to the top by stepping on the corpses of his enemies. The Yangtze River waterway and the dark forces, even at their peak, were far from enough to satisfy him.
He wants to stand at the pinnacle of light, be the chosen one of heaven, trample everything under his feet, and make the world crawl on their belly, unable to look up at him. Only in this way can he feel that his life has not been lived in vain.
It took him five years to become the leader of the Yangtze River.
In these five years, his hands were stained with blood. Those who died in his hands included enemies and his own people. He also lost his life several times and escaped death. Those who wanted to kill him included not only enemies but also his own people.
After repeated betrayals and fights, the last weakness of the young man was sharpened into a hard armor and a sharp shield. Xie Changgeng no longer trusted anyone except himself. Everything could be used and exchanged, including his marriage.
When he was nineteen years old and had firmly established himself as the leader of the Yangtze River and had accumulated enough capital, he set his sights on the Dongting Mu family, whose power was adjacent to his own.
When he made this marriage contract, he had no interest in the Mu family girl herself. She was no different to him, tall or short, fat or thin, Xi Shi or Mei Mu.
After marrying her, he would give her everything she deserved, and she would give birth to his children. That would be enough.
He didn't expect that from the day he went to Changsha to pick her up, things would go unexpectedly and suddenly deviate from his expectations.
Now, it has even become embarrassing for him.
When he was young, he was well-known in the village for his talent and reputation. He was inevitably arrogant and conceited, and no woman could catch his eye. His marriage to the Qi family was just his parents' order, and he just obeyed. After he turned fourteen, his fate changed suddenly, and he was on the tip of a knife and licked blood. The occasional thought of having a beautiful woman with a beautiful woman in his youth was gone. When he was sixteen, he saw a leader who appreciated and promoted him die at the hands of a woman sent by his enemy, and he took it as a warning and put self-discipline first. Since this Mu girl had no interest in him and wanted to leave, and she had lost her virginity early and was promiscuous by nature, why should he look at her more
He regretted that he had been deceived by the woman's appearance and humble attitude, and had indulged himself and brought shame upon himself.
He hated it. He hated the woman's debauchery and cunning, and he hated himself even more. That day in the study room in Shangjing, he knew clearly that she was trying to be nice to him, but when he heard her say, "In this world, the only person who can protect me is you," he was actually somewhat moved.
He felt extremely angry.
It was not only because she had really lost her virginity, but also because he still had a little hope. He thought that if she had really been lying to him, he might not care about her previous disrespect and would treat her better. However, what she gave him in return was another humiliation.
There was no trace of guilt or regret in the look she gave him.
Even if she had lost her virginity, if she still had the slightest bit of guilt, he wouldn't be so angry.
Xie Changgeng braved the severe cold and walked on the ice and snow to go to Xiu Tu that night.
Xiutu is not big, but it is an important garrison city on the border, like a gateway to Guzang, and it is geographically important.
Some time ago, this place was attacked by a large group of foreign cavalry from Mobei. The deputy general Liu An, who was in charge of the defense, led his troops to defend it. After several battles, the enemy learned that the governor Xie Changgeng was also on his way back from Shangjing. Knowing that they could not gain an advantage this time, they retreated in vain.
When Xie Changgeng arrived at Xiutu, he set about reinforcing the old city defenses. He was busy for many days, and only left and returned to Guzang when he saw that everything was ready.
He had just left a few days ago, but today he returned overnight despite the snow and ice. When he arrived, even his hair and eyebrows were covered with ice. Liu An thought that he was worried about him and was very worried. After he had a short rest, he immediately took him to inspect the city defense again and repeatedly assured him that he would definitely guard Xiu Tu and was willing to issue a military order as proof.
Xie Changgeng stayed in Xiu Tu for a few days in the name of patrol.
He didn't have to come to Xiu Tu. It was just that he went out in anger that night and didn't know where to go. Thinking of Xiu Tu, he came here. A few days have passed, and now there is nothing here that he must take care of. It's a bit reluctant to stay. He wanted to leave and continue to go to another city, but Liu An led his troops to send him out of the city gate. After he got on the road, he gradually slowed down his horse and finally stopped.
Why did he ask her to stay in the Jiedushi's residence and cause him so much inconvenience? He left in a hurry that night and did not hand over many affairs of the Jiedushi's residence. After a few days, I am afraid that they will pile up.
It is unbelievable that he is now unable to return home because of such a woman.
When she first arrived in the capital, Empress Liu frequently summoned her to the palace and tested her in many ways. She was simply afraid that she would gain control over her and try to sow discord between them. How could he not know that
This time, he was careless and risked Empress Liu's suspicion. He took the trouble to get her out. Now that she was here, in the eyes of outsiders, they had been together for some time. He sent her back to Changsha on the pretext of incompatibility. When the news reached Empress Liu, it would not contradict his words to maintain his reputation, and it would also make Empress Liu believe the judgment she made on Mu's daughter that day.
To be honest, I ended up helping the woman.
Xie Changgeng thought coldly.
This time I will treat it as a setback and learn a lesson. When I go back, I will tell her clearly in person and ask her to go back to Changsha and be obedient to her brother. If I succeed in the future, maybe I won't have to kill her for the sake of the old King of Changsha.
He pondered for a while, then quickly made a decision, turned his horse around and returned to Guzang.
The two places were hundreds of miles apart. He galloped on horseback for a whole day. At dark, the strong horse under his crotch ran as if it had just been fished out of the water, and its four hooves were trembling. Finally, he entered the city gate again and returned to the gate of the Jiedushi Mansion.
The steward was standing at the door, lighting lanterns for lighting the door with a servant boy, when he suddenly saw the master of the house coming back and came to greet him with surprise.
Xie Changgeng dismounted and ordered his men to take the horse to the stable to feed and rest. He walked inside and after a few steps, he casually asked the steward who had followed him in, "What has the princess been doing during the days I was away?"
The steward replied, "If someone wants to see a doctor, the princess will treat them. If the wife of an official comes to visit, she will entertain them. If she has nothing to do, she will stay in the mansion. It's the same as the past few days."
Xie Changgeng looked ahead without saying a word.
The steward smiled and complimented, "Master, please come in quickly. I heard from my son that the princess did not rest for a moment on the road in order to be able to come here earlier to reunite with you. She worked so hard and arrived so early. Unfortunately, you have a lot of things to do and are often out of town for several days. The princess must have missed you very much. Now that you are back, I don't know how happy she is."
The steward's son was one of the guards who had brought Mu Fulan here. Seeing that Mu Fulan was a skilled doctor and a friendly person, the steward boldly mentioned that he had old cold legs, and when they attacked, the pain and swelling were unbearable. She taught him a moxibustion method, saying that regular moxibustion treatment would definitely relieve the pain and swelling. The steward was very grateful, and in order to say good things about her in front of Xie Changgeng, he specifically mentioned what he had heard from his son a few days ago.
He was reminded.
The reason why this woman took the trouble to come here was probably because she remembered her previous words very well and wanted to arrive early and go back earlier.
A cold expression appeared on his face. He told the steward not to follow him and to go about his business, and then he went back to his residence.
He stepped into the courtyard and saw a maid coming out of the room. He recognized her as the one who was about to hand her clothes in the room a few days ago but was stopped by him on impulse.
Danzhu was just going out when he ran into Jiedushi Xie, whom he hadn't seen for a few days. He was stunned and hurried over to greet him.
"The princess is in the room, I'll let her know right away..."
“No need!”
Xie Changgeng didn't stop. He walked to the bottom of the stairs, stepped up, and pushed the door open.
The candlelight in the room was bright. Mu Fulan was wearing only a purple gauze dress. She sat in front of the mirror, wiping her long hair that had not yet dried. She heard the sound of the door being pushed open behind her. She thought it was Danzhu who had returned. She smiled and said, "Why did you come back so soon? Did you tell Mu's mother? Cook less. Not only will she be tired, but I can't eat much either..."
She turned her head and saw Xie Changgeng suddenly appear. She was startled, the smile on her face froze, and she stopped talking.
The room was as warm as spring. She had just taken a shower, and she didn't expect him to come back suddenly at this time. The clothes she was wearing were a little thin and not suitable for facing a man, even though he was her "husband" and they had done the same thing a few days ago.
She stood up, picked up the coat hanging beside her, put it on, then turned around, smiled and greeted him: "Are you back?"
He didn't respond.
Mu Fulan quietly glanced at the silent man opposite her, and suddenly a sense of foreboding flashed through her heart.
That night three days ago, he obviously left with resentment.
Mu Fulan knew that when he looked at her, her reaction must have stimulated him more deeply than the fact that she had already told him about her infidelity.
As proud as Xie Changgeng is, the thing he regrets most in these few days must be touching his own body.
In fact, on the eve of leaving Shangjing, Mu Fulan knew out of intuition that he might be interested in her.
Although it is dispensable, if it remains unresolved like this, I really don’t know when I can go back.
If something is unavoidable, it is better to arrive early than late.
If her guess was correct, now that he had personally confirmed her infidelity, he would definitely send her away.
So after he left that night, she had been in a very good mood for the past few days, waiting for him to come back and talk.
But now, facing Xie Changgeng who suddenly came back, she suddenly felt a little uncertain.
She felt a little doubtful and uneasy.
Xie Changgeng shifted his gaze away from her and glanced at the corner of the room.
There were several boxes stacked there.
These boxes were brought by her from the capital. After arriving, they have been kept here and have never been unpacked and put back in place.
He had seen it a long time ago, but it had never been so striking as it is now.
He slowly withdrew his gaze from the boxes and turned again to her face that was clearly smiling just a moment ago. On the way back today, he had thought over and over again about telling her to go back when he saw her, but suddenly he didn't want to say it anymore.
He said expressionlessly, "Ask someone to fetch some water and bring me some food. I'm tired."